POV:Steven

Shame. All I feel right now is shame. What have done? Why did do that? What am I going to tell...How am I going to tell Amethyst? Am I even worthy of going back to her?

I was asking myself these questions as I stared at the dark colored wall. Dark like my heart. I lose all my purity. I'm beneath the idea of forgiveness. I'm a sinner. A lowly sinner. I couldn't ask for forgiveness. I don't deserve it. Why did I give in? Why couldn't I say no?

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my neck. Her hands laced around each other. Connie peppered my back with kisses. She hummed soft into my ear, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Morning Steven." She cooed. She kissed my cheek. "How did you sleep?"

'Good question. How did I sleep soundly after I betrayed her?'

"Fine." I answered lowly.

She pressed her soft mounts against the smalls of my back. I shivered from guilty embarrassment.

"Are you sure? You don't sound fine."

"I'm just sleepy." That technically wasn't a lie. I was indeed sleepy.

"Oh okay. Do you want to lay down again, and rest some more."

"No. I'll be fine. I just want to go home."

"Okay. Well let's get cleaned up and I'll drive you back. Okay?"

"Sure, I'll go first."

"Hurry back. I'll wash our clothes, okay?"

"Sure thing Connie."

I got out of the bed and heard to the master bath. When I closed to door, I felt closer and closer to breaking down. I turned on the shower I did ever bother checking if it warm enough. That's a luxury I didn't deserve. I stood there with a blank stare. No matter well I scrubbed myself, I couldn't wash away the sins. I began to whimper, as i imagined the things my Quartz would say to me. All the rage and fury she would unleash on me. She would probably kill me…

...and I would deserve every ounce of it.

She trusted me and I abused it and threw it in the trash. I leaned against the wall as I sobbed. The water fell but did little to hide my shame. I cried for forgiveness know that it fell on deaf ears.

Then she was there. She came into the shower and held me from behind. I paused as turned to face her. She was nude. I looked at her with a guilty conscience. She then stroked my cheek. Softly trying to whisper comfort into my head. Telling me that it was alright. I'm here for you. That's it wasn't so bad. That's whatever happened wasn't my fault. I pulled her tightly into my being. I wanted somebody to hold me and hold on to, and she was there.

I needed somebody, and she was there. I cry loudly as I buried my head in her hair. My body and mind knew it was Connie. But my heart wished it was Amethyst that said those words.

After the shower, came the the ride home. It was a silent ride. We held hands as she drove back to beach city. I asked could she stop at the diner so I could pick up the food. Maybe she wouldn't kill right away. When she arrived at the beachfront she stopped.

"Thank for the ride. I appreciate it."

"That's fine Steven. It was…" A blush began to form across her face. "...nice seeing you again."

"Connie?"

"Yeah?"

"You know we can't continue this, right?"

"I figured as much." She said crestfallen.

"It's just that I'm with Amethyst. And I already feel bad that cheated on her. It don't want to have to explain to her that I did multiple times."

"Yeah, your right."

I hugged her. "But that doesn't mean I mean I don't want to see you again. I meant it when I said I missed you. Still friends?"

"Before we become "still friends", can we kiss, one last time?"

I signed but I willing agreed. In the car, was the last time I'd kiss her passionately. At least that was what I swore to myself.

When I reached my door, I couldn't open it

'What's wrong Steven?' A terribly familiar voice asked.

"Leave me alone. You're not real."

'Of course I'm real. I'm as real as you feel that I am.' She giggled.

"You're is it a figment of my imagination. You're not here, so leave!" I yelled angrily.

She put on a smug grin. 'What are you going to do if I don't? You're going to kill me? Well you can't. You already did.' Pearl said with a defiant voice.

"I said leave me ALOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!" I shouted as I drew out my sword and sliced through her.

She seemed unaffected by the fact that her body. Was cut in two. Her body slowly mended together as she spoke.

'Is that your answer for everything now? If you don't like something, you destroy it?'

"No. It's just...just that I-"

'What of Connie? She missed you and all she wanted was time to adjust. Time get to know you better. But you pushed her away. You destroyed the relationship before it began. But it didn't matter. You serve already severed the relationship you had with Amethyst. Once you tell her that you cheated she never want anything to do with you again. Ha. Hahaha. Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.'

I gripped my ears tightly, trying desperately to block her laugh. But her words had weight to them. But refuse to let that be that case.

"You're wrong. You'll see that she'll forgive me."

I ran into the house, calling her name.

But after 10 minutes. I got no reply.

I walked into the kitchen looking inside the fridge to see that all the contexts have completely vanished.

"Amethyst was bringing food."

Then, in the emptiness, there was a note.

"Went on a mission with Garnet. Had to eat something. Sorry.

-Amethyst ;P.

PS: i got something to tell you something when I get back. It's important."

I had only a few hours until I would see Amethyst. All the nerves I had were gone. Fear ran down my spine as I imagined what she had to tell me.

"Did...did she already know?!"

'What happened to all the provodo Steven?' Pearl mocked. 'I thought you were sure that she wasn't going to hate for what you did.'

"I'm...I'm not sure anymore."

'So what will you do now?'

I look at her with pleading eyes. I pulled myself into her, none existing embrace. But it still was an embrace. I cried in her uncaring arms.

"I don't know. Tell me. You were always so good with decision making. So tell me what to do!"

She gave a smug grin before answering.

'Easy. Don't tell her. What she doesn't know would not hurt her. You don't want to hurt her Steven, do you?'

"[sniffling] No."

'Good boy. You were always my good little boy.'

"I was?"

'Yes, my little Steven. You were such a good boy. But you still a little mistake. But do worry. I can fix that.'

She then pushed me from the kitchen onto my bed. She raised her sword over my chest.

'You'll let me help you. Right Steven?'

I didn't feel like fighting her anymore.

"Yes ma'am."

'That's a good lad.'

When she plunged the blade into me,I blacked out.

Time ellipse.

When I awoke, I was in Amethyst's arms. I turned to face her but I couldn't. The sounds of her snoring were a sign that she was at peace. I pushed my back against her so she could tighten her hold. All I ever wanted was love. All she ever wanted was to be love.

Why should I ruin this peace?