Kakashi woke up feeling like his bones were made of lead. His head throbbed, and his mouth felt dry. He supposed it was to be expected, considering he didn't even remember falling asleep last night, but he also figured that he's felt worse over the years. Sighing, Kakashi heaved himself up from the floor. Apparently, he had also fallen asleep against his bed rather than on it.

Twisting sharply both directions wielded many satisfying pops from his spine. Kakashi cracked his fingers and his neck, gave his limbs a good shake, and stretched. Instinctively, he created a mental checklist to start out the day: get some water, something to eat, clean himself up, and get ready to train with his team.

A simple to-do list, but Kakashi felt weary down to his bones.

That was nothing new.

He started his day.

へのへのもへじ

Today, Minato was at the training grounds first, and Kakashi arrived second. Rin followed soon after, and they made amiable chatter for a half hour or so, until Obito finally joined them. The Uchiha was, again, surprised and suspicious that Kakashi didn't scold him for being so late, but, admittedly, Kakashi didn't have the energy. It was taking all of him to be here with the ghosts of his past and put on a somewhat normal demeanor. He couldn't muster the energy to pretend to be angry ⎼ not when it should be his team who should be angry, furious at what a disappointment he was.

Training passed uneventfully. No one mentioned Kakashi's escape from the hospital or his covered eye, and for that, he was grateful. Either the universe was giving him a little slack, or Minato was more perceptive than Kakashi had given him credit for, because they discussed strategy and battle planning that day. For the most part, he didn't comment on any of his teammates' or his sensei's plans, except for when he was goaded. He couldn't let them know he already lived through a war ⎼ or, two wars, if he counted the war on the Akatsuki ⎼ by suggesting strategies beyond his experience. Luckily, they all assumed he already knew everything (which he did) because he was a genius, and so he could space out for the better part of the morning.

Unfortunately, Kakashi's daydreams typically led him to dwelling on his many, many mistakes.

He felt tired.

Obito's grumbling stomach urged him back to reality. Zoning in on the conversation among his team took more effort than he liked to admit.

"Alright, let's break for lunch," Minato suggested. A hawk flew overhead, its cry echoing throughout the training grounds, and Kakashi and Minato both looked up while Rin and Obito chatted away. Sighing, Minato stood. "Actually, I have some business to attend to, so that'll be all for today. Good work, team! I'll see you tomorrow."

With a smile so genuine that it hurt Kakashi to look at, Minato vanished.

Immediately, Rin was on him, persistent in her endeavors to woo him ⎼ or, at least, to get him sociable. "Kakashi!" She said. He gazed at her with an empty eye, but she didn't seem to notice. Instead, she barrelled on, only a little shy as she told him, "Obito and I were going to head to the new barbeque place that's opened up, and I was wondering if… if you'd like to join us?"

Obito audibly groaned in the background, exclaiming, "Rin!" Once more, she didn't seem to notice.

Kakashi was initially going to reject her offer, but he thought to what Minato had told him. He didn't know his teammates like he thought he did, and what better way to get to know them over some barbeque? Forcing his visible eye into a crinkled version of a smile, he said, "Well, I've got nothing else to do."

Rin squealed with delight. She snagged his hand and Obito's, dragging them both to their feet, on either side of her. "Yay! We haven't eaten together as a team in forever. Ooh, this is going to be so fun!"

Kakashi ignored the side-eye glare that Obito gave him. He was too tired to care.

He slipped his hand from Rin's, and at the same time she let go of Obito's. They walked together out of the training grounds. Any attempt at conversation with Kakashi fell flat ⎼ or would have, if his teammates had been anyone else. Even though he answered with only a nod or a distant "yeah," Rin and Obito talked themselves away, about things Kakashi knew nothing about. The latest news in the village, the flower shop, the hottest gossip… It was all so domestic. Everything that Kakashi was not.

As they reached the village itself, walking through the crowded streets, Kakashi dropped to the back of the group. It wasn't an unusual action, considering there simply wasn't enough room for three children to walk side-by-side during the busiest part of the day. So Kakashi followed behind Rin and Obito, watching them talk and laugh and carry on. They were so, so happy. Without him.

He was going to ruin it all.

"Kakashi?"

Kakashi blinked, realizing he'd stopped in the middle of the road. Rin and Obito were both looking back at him, one worried and the other, confused.

"Are you coming?" Rin asked.

Obito chimed in, "Yeah, you can't just stop in the middle of the road like that, Bakakashi. That's how you get hit by a cart."

It was too much. Their happiness, their concern, it was too much. He didn't deserve any of it. He was the reason for their deaths! All he deserved was to rot in his own misery, to be isolated with his demons, to suffocate in his grief.

"I'm not hungry," Kakashi lied. "I'll see you at training tomorrow."

Before he could be stopped, the Hatake promptly fled the scene with a shunshin.

へのへのもへじ

Rin and Obito looked at each other, and they both already knew what the other was thinking. Something was definitely wrong with their teammate ⎼ something that might be out of their depths. They didn't know what happened to cause this change, but they did know that Kakashi seemed to transform, overnight. He wasn't the cold, aloof, but more or less enjoyable member of their team any longer. Instead, he seemed incredibly burdened, but by what? Their plan to pry it out of him at lunch went out the window. Did he figure it out? They knew Kakashi was smart, but they had acted their parts perfectly, even with Obito objecting, loudly. So what had gone wrong?

"We're going to need to plan bigger," Rin said. "He's not just going to open up because we ask."

"I don't know if he'd open up at all," Obito responded, crossing his arms. "He can be so stubborn! It's obvious that he's not okay. Does he not trust us or something?"

Nohara pursed her lips, looking away. "I don't know," she admitted softly, "but you know Kakashi has always liked to handle things on his own. Maybe he doesn't want our help?"

"But we're his team!" Obito threw his hands in the air, exasperated. "If anyone's going to help him, it's us!"

"Maybe… maybe we can't use a frontal approach for this."

"What?"

"What Sensei talked about at training today," Rin elaborated. They resumed their walk to the barbeque restaurant, both feeling the empty hole where their third teammate should be. "Sometimes a direct attack is the worst way to go about infiltration, especially when it comes to an enemy that's already wary."

Obito frowned. He fiddled with his goggles, and Rin knew that meant he was thinking, hard. "Kakashi is always suspicious, though," he pointed out, "especially if we talk about anything that, y'know, matters. Unless it's a mission."

That gave Rin an idea.

"A mission, hm?" She tapped her chin, thinking. "That could work. But we'd need someone to be bait, someone that wouldn't immediately raise Kakashi's suspicions. But who? I don't know of anyone he's actually close with."

"He's not really the most sociable of people, is he?"

Obito and Rin sighed, at a loss. They pushed open the doors to the barbeque, and a loud voice caught their attention.

"Obito! Rin! Over here!" Maito Gai furiously waved at them to come join him. He was seated with Asuma and Kurenai. The remaining members of Team Minato looked at each other, and grinned. They sat down with their classmates, ordered their lunch, and explained the general situation.

It was quite a surprise to learn that Gai and Kakashi had spent some quality time together the previous day. No one at the table would have believed it, but Gai swore up and down that it was true, and that he was planning on finding Kakashi again later to challenge him to a rematch.

What a pleasant surprise, indeed.

The small group, determined to figure out the source of Kakashi's unhappiness, began to formulate a plan. They would find out what was wrong and fix it, and then Kakashi could be a friend to all of them. He would be happy ⎼ or, at the very least, not so lonely ⎼ and everything would be good. Everything would be okay.

へのへのもへじ

Meanwhile, Kakashi stood alone at the Memorial Stone.

He felt numb.

And tired.