Don't own AHS.

A/N: Thanks for all the love and support! I hope I'm writing Wendy well. There wasn't too much of her in Asylum so I'm trying to get a hold of her character. Lana, like always is so hard to write and keep in character lol but I like how this is turning out so far and I hope you guys are to. Also, I recently received a really positive review to Dear Father and it got me all teary eyed because that was the fic that lead to all of this. But dang, before I start to get all mushy, please enjoy the new chapter.

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NINE

But the Past

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NOVEMBER 1965

"Does he look a little small to you?" Lana asked; she was extremely concerned about the baby's weight and had finally decided to voice her thoughts on the matter.

Wendy looked from her book to the baby lying on the bed between them. They were just settling down for bed and reading to themselves when Lana asked the question. Wendy hadn't thought the boy looked small; on the contrary, he looked the right size for his age. Lana was just paranoid; she had been ever since they came home from the hospital the night they thought Johnny was sick.

"Four weeks in and I say the chunk is setting in pretty well." Wendy smiled at the baby. He was a lot bigger than he was when they first brought him home.

Lana extended her arm and grabbed his little foot, running her finger along his little toes. Johnny squirmed at his mother's touch and gave out a little squeal. Lana was amused at the fact that it tickled him or so it appeared that it did. She found herself smiling gently at the boy and had to admit to herself that she had become extremely overprotective of him since he had come home from the hospital. Even though Lana didn't show the affection that Wendy did, she was much closer to him.

"Do you think he'll be fine once I go back to work?"

Wendy frowned at this, "Lana, I don't think you should be going back to work any time soon."

"You know I have to."

"You don't have to. You want to."

"Well, I need to and yes, I want to as well."

"Lana, you should at least wait until the holidays are over."

It was late November and it would be Christmas before they even knew it. Lana and Wendy spent Christmas Eve with their friends at cocktail party hosted by one of the girls. They spent Christmas mornings to themselves in their home where peering eyes couldn't see. They drank wine and ate cookies and opened each other's gifts. However, the upcoming Christmas would be their first with the boy. It was an odd feeling and Lana couldn't quite picture their tiny Christmas tree littered with toys. She knew Wendy would go all out for Johnny but Lana was still settling in to all the change his presence would bring.

"It seems more rational that I go back before the holidays. I wouldn't mind it." Lana said.

Johnny began to squirm and gave out an angry whine. Wendy sat up to pick him up but Lana was at his beck and call before she knew it. She took the boy into her arms and stood to cradle him around the room. Wendy said nothing at first; she only gave a half smile, pleased that Lana was becoming closer to her son.

Lana grabbed the pacifier from the vanity and placed it in Johnny's mouth. He fought it a little but took it in the end and settled down.

"He's quite the little piggy, isn't he?" Lana asked.

Wendy laughed, "Oh, yes, he's quite the porker."

Lana looked down at her child. He suckled his pacifier while he kept his eyes on his mother's gaze. Those cobalt blues shined so brightly, even in the dimly lit room. His plump rosy cheeks were so kissable but Lana resisted the urge. She thought of Oliver and wondered if he had been the same as a boy. Lana couldn't help to think of him every time she saw the boy and she wondered if one day that would subside.

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That night, Johnny slept in his cradle by the bed while the two women slept side by side. It was fifteen minutes past three when Lana began to stir. She turned her head from one side to the other and her forehead covered in cold sweat. She began to mumble incoherencies while her mind pulled her back into Thredson's basement.

The chain was heavy around her ankle and her skin burned when she tried to pull herself free. Her heart accelerated at a quick pace and she could barely hear her thoughts masked behind her heavy breathing. She pulled at the chain that was attached to the bolt on the cold, tiled floor.

"Please!" Lana begged in between sobs, "Please!"

She could hear the infant crying from behind the heavy door.

"Give him back!" Lana screamed at the top of her lungs. She lost her strength and fell to the floor, "Please give me back my boy!"

Lana's terrified cries woke Wendy with a jolt. She sat straight up and looked around the darkness before she was able to gather her bearings and make sense of what was going on. She quickly turned the light on her nightstand on and turned to Lana. She was kicking about in a fit crying nonsense. The baby was screaming in his cradle, terrified by his mother's cries.

"Lana!" Wendy shook Lana awake, "Wake up!"

Lana's eyes fluttered open to greet the ceiling of her bedroom. She gasped and took in a deep breath. "The baby. Wendy, the baby." She grabbed a tight hold of Wendy's nightgown and yanked her closer.

Wendy grabbed her hands, "Lana, calm down. He's here."

Lana sat up and buried her face in her hands, continuing to cry. "I need him, I need to see him!"

Wendy quickly went to fetch the boy, plucking him from the cradle. The poor boy was so spooked he was crying tears. "He's here, Lana. He's right here."

Lana opened her eyes and saw her child in Wendy's hands. She took him and pressed him to her chest making sure he was real. He cries came to a stop but her breathing was still labored. She tried to calm herself down but the fear was too intense. "Shh, shh, I'm sorry." She whispered to Johnny, softly calming him down. He cried for another minute or two until he finally settled down.

"Holy shit, Lana." Wendy said out of breath. She sat next to Lana on the edge of her side of the bed. "What happened?"

"I don't know." Lana closed her eyes and another pair of tears rolled down her cheeks. "He took him. Thredson took my boy."

Wendy placed her hand on Lana's thigh. "Lana, it was but a nightmare. Thredson's dead, he can no longer hurt you."

Lana pulled away from the baby and held him before her. He was wide-awake with his brows in a tiny little frown. Lana kissed his forehead and breathed in his delicious new baby scent. The kid smelled like heaven and Lana could never pinpoint what it was. Nevertheless, his softness calmed her and his warmth soothed her. She was fine and he was fine. Thredson was dead and he would never harm them.

"It was just a night terror." Wendy assured her, "You've had a lot on your mind."

Lana nodded and hugged the boy to her chest again. "I know."

Wendy opened her hands to take the boy, "Do you want me to take him back to his bed?"

Lana slightly pulled him away from him. "No. Leave him with me for just a little while longer."

Wendy smiled gently at her, "All right." She stood and went around to her side of the bed. Lana carefully lay Johnny between them for a little while longer. She listened to him coo and felt him squirm until he finally went back to sleep. And when he fell asleep, she stood and took him back to his cradle and crawled back into bed with Wendy.

Wendy turned to her and let Lana bury herself in her arms. Wendy held her tight and kissed her forehead. "Oh, Lana. Everything will work out, just you wait and see."

Lana closed her eyes, "He's going to haunt me for the rest of my life, isn't he?"

"Only if you let him."

Lana whispered, "If you had seen what I've seen…you'd never be the same…"

Wendy lifted Lana's face to greet her gaze. "I'm so sorry." She kissed Lana's lips, "I'm sorry."

It was all Wendy could really say.

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The streets of downtown Boston were filled with cars and people in the midst of holiday cheer. Wendy went through the outdoor shopping center with her friend Barb. She had left Lana with the baby back at the house. It had started to snow and they figured it be best not to take Johnny out in the cold when he was still so small. On December 16th he'd be turning two months old and Wendy couldn't believe how fast time was already going. He'd be crawling by the summer. Wendy knew it was months away but those months would go by like days.

The two women went inside a baby shop to look around. Wendy had mentioned she wanted to start picking Christmas presents before the crowds began to gather. It was November but the Christmas decorations were already out and wreaths adorned the front of every shop.

"Geez, it's like they can't wait." Barb said.

"Next thing you'll know, the decorations will come out in October." Wendy said as she picked up a couple of onesies.

Barb did the same, "How's the baby doing?"

"Oh, he's marvelous, Barb. Growing too fast but he's so good."

Barb smiled pleased to hear it. "And Lana?" She sounded a bit nervous when she asked about the mother herself.

Wendy placed the onesies down and gave out a sigh, "She's trying. She really is." Wendy gave a half smile, "But it's the sweetest thing seeing her with him. She's still so awkward and often clueless but you can tell she's really getting attached."

"That's great to hear. That boy deserves a loving family."

Wendy picked a yellow onesie, a navy one and a red one and placed them in the little shopping basket hanging from her arm. "I just wish Lana could see that she's being a good mother. She doubts herself too much." She went over to a shelf of stuffed animals and picked one out. It was a stuffed Husky dog. "But she's too damn stubborn to see it."

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Lana sat Indian style on the sofa in the living room with the baby lying on his blanket next to her; he had a pacifier in his mouth. Lana was watching The Addams Family. She remembered the first episode had aired about a month or so before she arrived in Briarcliff. She didn't know why she had remembered that useless fact but she had. She watched with a pensive expression and when Johnny spit the pacifier out of his mouth, she reached for it without looking from the television and popped it right back in so he could continue to suckle comfortably.

Lana didn't know why Wendy was going Christmas shopping so early, she did so every single year and Lana always waited till the very last minute. They were still in November and Lana just didn't see the point but Wendy was far too excited to shop for the boy that Lana didn't bother stopping her.

Lana still felt a little lingering taste of the post-partum depression but for the most part she was overcoming it. It came and went but it never lingered for long. Lana was glad for that, she hated feeling limited.

Johnny began to coo behind his pacifier and make little noises. Lana didn't look away from the television but she responded, "Really? You don't say."

Johnny immediately responded to her voice and began to kick his legs. He dropped the pacifier from his mouth and began to squeal. Lana finally looked over at him, "Chatty little thing, aren't you?"

Johnny continued to coo and kick about. He was really squirmy but at his young age he still didn't do much but look around and register his surroundings. Wendy had bought multiple baby books that Lana hadn't bothered to read but Wendy did mention that he would begin to smile on his own in no time. Her guess would be at two months. Lana didn't take a guess. She didn't think to do so, really.

When Johnny didn't get her full attention, he began to cry out. "All right, come here." Lana picked him up and laid him on her lap. He stopped crying right away. Lana frowned, "You big faker…" She glanced back to the television and continued to watch her show. "I wonder if Morticia ever had to deal with this post-partum bullshit." Lana reached to the small lamp table by the sofa for a cigarette but Johnny's little squeals brought her back to him. Wendy didn't want her to smoke around him and so Lana set the cigarettes aside.

Lana grabbed the pacifier and once again gave it to Johnny. Whenever her hand brushed his cheek, he gave her a reflex smile. It looked like the real thing but Lana knew it was just his reflexes reacting to her touch. Still, it was adorable and she knew it. "You better not look like that man, you hear?" She softly tapped his little button nose; "I made you so you owe me…" She looked back to the show unsure of why she had told him that.

His big blues continued to follow the movement of her expressions and he wailed his little arms about. His breathing exhilarated as if he was excited and he began to make funny little sounds.

"He's excited to see you." Wendy had told her countless times and Lana was beginning to see that it was true.

It didn't take Wendy long to come home. Lana looked up and glanced at the door. She frowned immediately, "Oh, my goodness. Are you fucking serious, Wendy?"

Wendy walked in through the door with countless bags. "Yes, I am fucking serious, Lana."

Lana laughed, "Why?"

"It's our first Christmas as a family of three. I thought it would be appropriate."

"Appropriate? It isn't even December."

"Yes, well I, unlike you, like to avoid the last minute shopping frenzies."

Lana turned her attention back to the show, "There's nothing like a holiday crowd…"

It would be Lana's first Christmas since coming home from Briarcliff. She had spent the last year there fighting to get out. Wendy had spent it alone with a bottle of Brandi.

Wendy set the bags down and went to scoop the boy from Lana's lap. "Did he behave?"

"He was an angel." Lana said half sarcastically.

Wendy scoffed, "Your mother is quite the smart ass, isn't she?" Johnny gave out a little growl and Wendy smiled. "Have you eaten yet?" She asked Lana.

"Not yet."

Wendy took Johnny to the kitchen and began to go on and on about what to make for dinner. Lana usually cooked but in those days she didn't step into the kitchen much. Lana stood from the sofa and went into the den where she sat at her desk, in front of her type writer and stared at the empty papers in front of her.

Lana reached into the bottom drawer of her desk. Before she reached into it, Lana glanced up to make sure no one was coming. She could hear Wendy from the kitchen baby talking to Johnny. Once she knew she wouldn't be bothered, Lana turned her attention back to the bottom drawer where inside was a manuscript with the title "Maniac".