Don't own AHS

A/N: Thanks for all the positivity! I know a ton of you asked me to update so I took the time to do so. Also, the whole Christmas construction paper stocking thing was something I did in fourth grade and has been one of my favorite memories since so yeah, I just threw that in there. Anywayssssssss enjoy the new chapter!

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TEN

The Night Before

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Wendy had asked the young teenage boy that lived across the street if he could help her put up the Christmas lights. Young Dany Denning was more than pleased to help and it didn't take him and his friend long to do so. Wendy paid them with a few dollars each and some cookies. Lana stood outside the house with crossed arms and a skeptic pout that she had been carrying around since October. She glanced up at the Christmas lights wondering how much the electricity bill would be and before she could open her mouth to complain, Wendy nudged her.

"Don't put that face, it's the holidays."

Lana brought out a cigarette and lit it. Wendy was trying to get her to quit for Johnny's sake but he was currently inside napping. "These holidays are going to put us out of house and home." Lana commented, blowing out the smoke into the dim gray evening.

Wendy scoffed at Lana's pouty behavior. She thought about hugging Lana from behind but glanced over her shoulder to see Mr. Karl from across the street getting out of his car. His wife, Elda Karl went out to meet him. Wendy looked back and kept her distance from Lana. As far as the neighborhood was concerned, they were two single women boarding together. Of course, with Johnny's birth, Lana's sexuality wasn't put to question but her morals were (at least to some of the older women who held old school beliefs). They thought she should be married but never imagined she was a lesbian.

"Get into the spirit, Lana. Don't be a Scrooge."

Lana tilted her head back and let out a "Hah!" So loud that Elda Karl turned around to look at them before she went inside. "And let me guess, you're Old St. Nick." Lana inhaled from her cigarette.

"St. Nick?"

Lana headed back inside the house and Wendy followed after her. "What in the world are you talking about?" She closed the door behind them as to not let the cold in.

"That." Lana gestured to the undecorated Christmas tree that sat in front of the window. It had no decorations, yet under it sat multiple wrapped gifts and Lana already knew they were all for Johnny.

Wendy glanced over at the gifts and laughed, "Oh, that doesn't mean anything."

Little Johnny began to cry from their room down the hall. "Sure it doesn't." Lana put out her cigarette right away and went to fetch him. She had become very attentive to him but she still struggled and often became impatient and stressed with him.

"Anyway, help me put up these decorations. It wouldn't kill you."

"It might just." Lana came back with the two-month-old baby in arms. He was bright eyed and bushy-tailed and most likely ready to be up all night. Lana had him positioned up right with her arm under his bottom and her other hand rested against his back as he leaned against her chest and looked around.

"Oh, stop."

The two women stood in front of the tree. Wendy was awfully excited for Christmas but Lana on the other hand was a bit hesitant. She hated getting caught in all the chaos of last minute shopping even though she knew she wasn't going to make the effort to go any earlier. Christmas was two weeks away and she didn't plan on visiting the shopping centers any time soon.

Johnny began to fuss and Lana softly shushed him. She rocked him gently and rubbed his back. Wendy kissed Lana's lips and said she was going to get started on the decorating. Lana felt Wendy's kiss burning on her lips and when she glanced to the window, the curtains were open. Lana felt a sense of happiness surge through her and she held the boy in her arms just a little bit tighter.

Lana helped Wendy decorate the tree that night but not once did she set Johnny down. She held an ornament in front of him for him to see. Johnny eyed it with big blues and raised his hand to swat at it but made no real effort to grab it. He cooed and made little sounds of excitement. He kicked his legs and squirmed about in a cheerful mood. Wendy noticed how sweet Lana was when she showed him a bright red sphere to the boy and then hung it on the tree. She talked softly to him, commenting on how pretty it was. For a single moment, Wendy saw how calm Lana was. It was the first time in weeks she had seen her so at ease.

The night terrors continued on even during the most beautiful of December days. Johnny was always the first to wake, alarmed by his mother's frustrated cries. Lana woke up in cold sweat and fits. It was usually Wendy who set her free from her nightly torments. Lana didn't speak much of the dreams to Wendy because she didn't like to remember, or because they terrified her too much to repeat. However, Wendy comforted her fears and Lana opened up.

Lana dreamed about her electro shock therapies in Briarcliff. She dreamed of the disgusting hallways, the insanity, and the emaciated people. She dreamed about Dominique on repeat over and over until her head spun with dizziness. She dreamed about Oliver Thredson and the night he helped her escape. She dreamed about lamps made out of skin and shackles around her ankles. She dreamt of his face and his voice and his hands upon her skin.

Some dreams were worse than others. Sometimes she dreamt of the rape. Others of the women that had been there before her. Sometimes she dreamt of Kit Walker with a bruised face, others of Sister Jude with a flogging cane or in shambles. And sometimes, she dreamt of Johnny. In some dreams, he was but a young boy, no older than seven, crying for her. In the others, he was a man, damning her for abandoning him.

It was the guilt, Lana thought. The guilt of what she had written about him in that manuscript that she kept hidden in her study. However, there were those nights in where she slept soundly. She did dream of her boy but she dreamt of him with a smile on his face. Those were the nights she hoped for.

Wendy had suggested they move the baby to the second room so he could sleep soundly but Lana wanted to have him near. "You act like you've never heard of the Lindbergh baby." She said.

Wendy scoffed, "Lana, that's not going to happen. You're paranoid."

"Like a fox." She said and went outside for a cigarette.

Once Johnny was put to sleep that night, Wendy went to meet Lana out on the front porch. She sat next to her and asked, "Nothing bad is going to happen anymore, you know that right?"

Lana exhaled the smoke and looked over at Wendy, "Sometimes I'm not so sure."

Wendy nudged her, "You'll be fine."

Lana often wanted to talk to Wendy about the horrors of Briarcliff in hopes that it would ease her pain of the past but she knew Wendy wouldn't fully understand. Only someone like Kit Walker would.

Lana decided to change the subject. "Your mother called this morning." She said with a cold tone.

Wendy was a bit surprised but her mother often called during the holidays. "Oh? What did she say?"

Lana tapped her cigarette, "Oh, not much. You know how much she loves me…"

Wendy laughed. "My mother likes you plenty."

"Your mother abhors me."

"No she does not. It's all in your head."

Lana didn't say much and just took another hit from her cigarette. Wendy's parents didn't know of their relationship or of their daughter's sexuality but they didn't approve that Wendy live alone with another woman when she could be married and living with a husband. They thought Lana's lifestyle of an unmarried woman by choice was corrupting their daughter. If only they knew.

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The following morning Wendy went off to work. She was extremely excited for it since she had a few holiday themed activities for the children. She told Lana that on that day they were going to take some time before recess to place little trinkets and gifts into each other's stockings. Early on in the month, Wendy had her class make stockings out of construction paper and glitter to hang them on the wall. Every other day, the children were allowed to drop things in their classmate's stockings so on the last day of class before holiday vacation, they could take them down and collect their gifts from inside. Wendy was so thrilled with the idea.

"What if one of your students doesn't get anything?" Lana asked, skeptic of the little activity. "That Robby of yours isn't very popular is he?"

"Oh, Lana, don't pick on poor Robby. Anyway, I make sure every stocking has something. They have to learn to be nice to each other."

"And if they don't?"

Wendy sighed, "Then I'll fill it myself, Lana stop being snarky."

"I'm just saying." Lana took Johnny out of his cradle and placed him on the bed to change him.

"At first I was concerned because not all the children in class celebrate Christmas but I got them to sign a permission slip from their parents so they don't feel left out." Wendy continued on. She loved to talk about her students.

Lana continued to listen while she got Johnny out of his pajamas and began to change his diaper. The little boy lay naked and squirmed around while Lana struggled to put a clean diaper on him. She was sure she should have had it down by then but his squirming frustrated her.

"Lana are you listening?" Wendy asked.

Lana set the diaper down. "Yes, I'm listening."

Wendy walked over and took the diaper from Lana's hands and put it on Johnny without any effort. Lana sighed but shook it off and forced a smile. "That's sweet of you to get all the kids to participate." She looked down at Johnny who kicked his chunky little legs. "Even Robby."

"Thank you." Wendy kissed Lana's lips and pulled away, "I love you. Even when you're cranky."

"I'm not cranky but I love you too." Lana said and continued to dress the baby. "Why do you give me such a hard time?" She asked Johnny.

Johnny only squealed and flashed his mother a bright gummy smile. Lana paused, "Wendy?"

Wendy who was at the vanity putting on lipstick turned around, "Yes?"

"I think—I think he's smiling at me." Lana looked down to the baby.

Wendy hurried over to her side, completely delighted. "Make him do it again, I want to see."

"I'm not even sure what I did." Lana admitted.

"Well, just talk to him!" Wendy was obviously giddy.

"All right then…" she turned back to the baby unsure of how to go about it, "Hi, little boy."

Johnny's blues looked at his mother and another wide smile spread across his little pink lips. He squealed and kicked his legs, excited at the sound of her voice. Wendy wanted to cry and covered her mouth, "Oh goodness, he's so precious!" She leaned against Lana and kissed her head, "See? He adores you."

Wendy's words stayed with Lana for days.

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The days flew by quicker than Lana intended them to. Every day she said she was going to sit and work on her manuscript while Wendy was at work but she never found the time to do so. Johnny took up much of her time and Lana could never find time for herself and when she finally did, she was too afraid to open that drawer and avoided the manuscript like a plague. She had started writing it soon after she came home from Briarcliff once the chaos had gone down. She had stopped writing it a few weeks before Johnny was born and hadn't worked on it since then but once in a while would bring it out to read through it.

She had said such cruel things about the boy and often regretted them. Lana could only imagine the scene that would play out if Wendy ever found it. If she ever did. Lana still hadn't finished it and when she looked at the sweet two-month-old that had begun to smile at her, she didn't think she could.

Lana was still learning much about being a mother. She wasn't very good at it but she didn't consider herself a quitter so she went on with it the best she could. And like learning to be a mother, she was still learning a lot about Johnny himself. Even at two months old, he was already starting to develop his own personality. Lana noted that he loved the sound of ripping paper but he loved the sound of her voice the most. He liked his rattle but dislike a stuffed clown Wendy had brought home one day. Wendy didn't know why it made him cry but Lana did. It was a clown. There was nothing else to it.

He liked to be rocked to sleep and his favorite place to nap was on his mothers' chests. He hated being bathed and cried bloody murder; Lana didn't know a baby could have such a strong set of lungs. He adored his pacifier and his naps but Lana found it hard to get him down for one every single time. Wendy was a lot better at it or so Lana thought but at the end of the day, it was Lana who the boy sought for.

CHRISTMAS EVE 1965

Of course like every year, Lana waited until the very last minute to go Christmas shopping. Wendy had gone to visit Lois and Barb since they would be missing their annual Christmas cocktail party to spend it at home with the baby, just the three of them. Lana was hesitant to take the baby out into such chaos but had no other choice. She wrapped him up in his baby sling, safely secured to her chest and went off to venture into the over-crowded-last-minute sea of shoppers.

Lana struggled on what to get Wendy for Christmas. Christmas of '63, she had gotten her a pearl necklace, of course back in '63 they didn't have infant expenses to worry about nor had they hit a bump in their relationship called Briarcliff. Still, Lana wanted to forgive and forget.

"What do you think of this one?" Lana asked baby Johnny as she held up a hummingbird shaped brooch she had picked out from all the selections. Surely she could manage to spend just a little.

Johnny was awake and his blue eyes were on the brooch. He made little noises but mostly drooled on his mother's coat. Lana had him safely wrapped around her with his little beanie-covered head resting against her chest.

"I thought so." Lana put the brooch back. "What should we get her then?" Johnny cooed again and Lana scoffed, "Well what's your idea, smart guy?"

Johnny yawned.

Lana scoffed, "I thought so…"

After a few more hours of looking around the department store, Lana managed to pick Wendy the right gift. While shopping, she had received many compliments on her baby boy from other women. Lana only smiled and thanked them politely and after a moment, realized she hadn't gotten the boy anything.

So before going home, she stopped at a toy store to buy Johnny's gift even though he was with her. "Just act surprised." She told him and rubbed his back reassuringly. Luckily, Johnny was asleep by then and when she arrived home, she stashed her gifts in the closet and met with Wendy.

Their Christmas Eve at home was as Wendy put it, divine. They had dinner and listened to the Carolers that came to their doorstep. After, they sat together on the sofa and watched Christmas movies that aired on television like It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, and the new A Charlie Brown Christmas that Wendy chose for Johnny. Lana said he was too little to watch but to Wendy it didn't matter. But just like Lana predicted, the baby was fast asleep before the cartoon was even over. The two women put him to bed soon after and returned back to the living room to continue the night. It was a simple night but it was enjoyable.

Despite the freezing chill outside, the Winters-Peyser residence was warm within. Lana had lit the fire in the chimney and the two women sat upon the blanket in front of the fire with glasses of wine in hand. The lights were off and the living room was only lit by the fire itself and the Christmas tree lights. Lana's eyes were set on the fire, her mind far from the Christmas celebrations. Wendy's attention was set on the tree and all the presents underneath. She had opted to wait to open the gifts in the morning so Johnny could be present. Lana didn't mind it.

"It's quite lovely isn't it?" She asked.

Lana glanced over at the tree. "Quite."

Wendy looked to Lana. "This is our first Christmas back together."

Lana averted her gaze realizing it to be true. "Surely not our last."

This made Wendy grin and she leaned into kiss Lana. When the two women pulled away, Wendy grabbed their glasses and set them aside. After, she turned back to Lana and kissed her again. Their lips flowed perfectly together and Wendy knew that there was no one else in the world meant for her than Lana. But every little kiss was filled with a sense of tiny guilt over the paper she had signed for Sister Jude. Wendy tried to bury it in the back of her mind and often succeeded. If Lana had forgiven her, there should have been no reason to doubt it. No reason to hesitate.

Wendy pushed Lana down onto the blanket and began to undress her. She then placed small kisses down her neck and down to the gap between her clavicles. Lana gasped when Wendy's lips reached down her stomach and past her hips. Lana's hands clenched the blanket beneath her and her toes curled at the immense pleasure. She let out a sigh and a moan. Her hands reached down and her fingers twined themselves in Wendy's hair. The sensation was heavenly and Lana fought against crying out in pure pleasure but just before she hit that climax, a sharp little cry interrupted her ascent to heaven itself.

Wendy pulled away, alarmed.

"Fuck!" Lana covered her face, a bit frustrated that they had been interrupted.

Wendy looked at her and laughed.

Lana sighed heavily, "I can't have anything nice, can I?"

Wendy hovered over her and kissed her forehead. "Oh, stop."

Johnny continued to cry even louder since his cries went unattended right away. "I got him." Wendy quickly dressed and went to fetch the baby while Lana herself dressed.

When Wendy returned with the baby, he was all bundled up in his red pajamas. He was wide-awake and cooed when he saw his mother. "Look who wanted to join us." Wendy sat across from Lana on the blanket and handed her the baby.

"You look pretty pleased with yourself, don't you?" Lana asked Johnny. Johnny flashed her that impish little smile of his. Lana scoffed but smiled, no less. She just couldn't help it.