The Shotgun Approach

Chapter 2: Hey, Ettie

A/N: I guess you could say this is a slight AU, but I'm going off canon material that occurred near the end of the series. The portal that Sensui opens never closes and after the demon unification tournament Koenma kind of just lets it be. That's why at the end of the manga the losers of the tournament have to monitor the borders and send back any humans that accidentally fall through the hole.

. . .

Spring – 2003 (2 Weeks Later)

Watery. The word I would use to describe how things sounded right now. The bustle of the station, the chatter of my crew mates–it was all blurry. I felt like I was underwater.

I'd taken too much this morning.

"Ettie."

"Hey, Ettie..."

"ETTIE!"

I jolted in my seat, wide eyes staring up at Shou. His brow furrowed, worried. "Are you okay? I've been standing here talking to you for a few minutes now."

I smiled at Shou, trying to be reassuring. "Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night." A lie. I had slept like a rock. Just like I always did.

"Want a coffee?" he asked.

I nodded, "Sure, sounds great."

I watched as he walked away and then hung my head, burying my face in my hands. I needed to snap out of it. I didn't want my crew worried about me. Or suspicious. Which could be much worse.

It was a mistake to finish my latest bottle this morning, but I needed something to take the edge off my anxious mind. The past couple of weeks weren't easy. They left me breathless and hurting.

The bomb from two weeks ago was not an isolated event. There had been two more bombings since the one a fortnight ago. And they hurt humans and demons alike. There was no rhyme or reason for it, other than to cause suffering. And at each event I found king Urameshi. The people's lantern of hope.

This last time I kept my distance, because like a guard dog, Jaganshi Hiei had been there too. And the looks he'd given me...

It sent shivers down my spine–and not the good kind.

Who would have guessed Hiei was such a judgmental dick?

Shou returned with the promised coffee. He handed me the paper cup and gave me a once-over. His eyes still shone with suspicion laced worry. He wasn't convinced I was okay. But I ignored it and sipped the coffee. Hoping it would help sober me up some.

The dose I took was strong. Stronger than something a human could handle.

When the barrier dropped nine or ten years ago, demons of all different types came through the hole. They figured the human world was a land of opportunity. And with it they built companies under human guises. It seemed the drug industry was a huge money maker because they produced medications and narcotics useful to both demons and humans.

As a demon, I required something more powerful than your basic painkiller.

And as a paramedic I had ample access to them. Just like when I was a healer. But now my medicines came in a handy little pill form instead of as herbs and poultices I needed to mix myself.

My drug of choice was like the human's equivalent of Hydrocodone. But I took whatever I could get my hands on. Beggars should not be choosers.

Shou took a seat beside me, nursing his own coffee, a question in his eyes I didn't want to answer. So instead I asked, "How did your appointment go this morning?"

He turned away, eyes on the floor. I was one of the few who knew this about him because of all the bullshit questions that were asked on the job application for an EMT or Paramedic. And those prying questions only got worse as more demons joined the working class.

Personally, I felt it wasn't anyone's business. But I had taken a special interest as we'd grown closer. I sometimes felt bad I always lied to him when he was so open with me.

"It went okay," he said, shrugging.

"Just okay?"

He sighed, irritated, but not at me. "They said I wasn't a good candidate. That the testosterone was enough, so why bother with surgery."

Shou dragged a hand through his hair, a sneer on his lips. "I mean, I've only been this way my entire life. But they seem to think I still have no goddamn idea what I want and need."

I patted his back sympathetically. I had a feeling it wouldn't go his way. There was still such a stigma against people like Shou – people who were uncomfortable in their own skin, people who were born into bodies they felt were not their own.

"Hey," I said, making sure to keep my voice soft, "fuck what they think."

He laughed, though it was bitter. "Thanks Ettie. Thank you for accepting me. Hell, many wouldn't have even hired me."

"You're a good paramedic Shou. I don't care what does or doesn't dangle between your legs, my friend."

He snorted into his coffee, shaking his head. "I wish more people were like you, Ettie."

No. No you don't Shou. But before I could toss aside his comment with another attempt at humor, my radio crackled to life. The voice of the dispatcher came over the talkie, "Codes R-Fourteen, R-Fifteen, downtown Sarayashiki. Immediate medical attention needed. Unknown number of victims. Calling all surrounding stations."

I held the button on the side of my radio, which remained in its permanent location on my right shoulder while I was in uniform. "Station thirty-two responding. We'll take the call," I answered.

"Thank you station thirty-two, please proceed."

"Again?!" Shou snapped, dashing for his locker so he could grab his medical bag.

I did the same, my face grim. Another bombing. This was number four in the past few weeks. What was the goal here? Who was behind this?

I gathered my things, running for the ambulance, pulling the keys out of my pocket. There were four sitting in our station alone and I heard the other three roar to life as well, their rumble rushing through me.

I clambered up into the seat of my own, starting the engine, flicking on the lights and siren. I gave my crew just long enough to settle in the back. Shou took the passenger's seat, all signs of his previous distress gone, the face of a professional taking over.

With me behind the wheel it didn't take long to reach the scene of the explosion. The drug still swam in my system, but I was sober in an instant upon pulling up to this latest massacre.

Shou and I stared out the windshield, twin looks of horror across our faces. Even a seasoned paramedic's stomach would turn at what we saw.

A school.

A school full of demon and human children.

Anger settled inside my chest...and made it its home. I avoided using my youki to fight...but if I were to ever find the monster that could do something so awful...

I would make sure they suffered. Just as these children had suffered. Just as their parents shall suffer.

"Come on," I said, voice normally so soft now a growl.

"Oh god, Ettie...they're just fucking kids..."

Ten minutes in and the trainee Amiya Momo was behind one of the ambulances hurling her guts up. Shou looked like a PTSD victim that had just come home from war. My third best EMT Eric Lawson was shaking like an alcoholic stuck in withdrawal. The rest of the crew wasn't fairing any better. Too many kids...so many little bodies, so many horrific wounds.

I did my best to stay calm, to be the beacon the crew needed so badly, but I had tears streaming down my face. I pursed my lips and tried to suck them back, but they continued to fall, turning the grass beneath me to ice.

I was covered in blood.

I would need to see my dealer tonight.

No way would I sleep without being medicated–heavily.

"Ettie."

His voice brought me no comfort. And I actually exploded, half expecting to be killed on the spot for my insolence. "Can't you catch this bastard?! Isn't it your job?! King Urameshi, don't make me laugh!"

"Ettie," he said again, disappointment lining his tone. But in me or himself, I would never know.

I finished stabilizing the eight year old beneath my bloodied hands and then rounded on him. I intended to chew him out further...but when I realized he was crying too I just fell into his waiting arms, and cried all the harder.

I loved my job. But today...

Today I hated it with a passion.

. . .

Breathe in. Breathe out.

And again.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

I was laying spread eagle across my mattress. My fingers bunched in the sheets, over and over, the texture keeping me grounded. My eyes stared at the ceiling as if it were a blank canvas, just waiting to be painted. And oh, how I wanted to paint it. Wanted to see the colors spread across the boring white.

But I stayed in my bed. All there was to do was keep the demons inside me at bay—the horrors that filled me to the brim. They clawed and scratched, fighting to be free. I would not let them. I would never let them.

Numb. That is what I wanted to be. Numb as the ice that sometimes ran in my veins.

I can't take too many, I reminded myself. Too many was bad.

I dragged my sorry carcass out of bed, threw on a jumbled mess of an outfit. I would have grabbed my keys. Thought better of it. I wasn't sober enough to drive.

So I walked the six blocks to the address that was handed to me earlier today. I should care that it was passed midnight. My brain was past the point of proper function, however, so I pounded on the apartment door with little care. It was wrenched open a scant few minutes later.

Urameshi Yusuke looked me over once and said, "You're high as a fucking kite."

So I laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Until the king thought I was going crazy and thus ushered me inside. But not before casting a furtive glance towards his neighbors' doors. Looks like I was going to be a dirty little secret.

He forced me into a seat at his tiny kitchen table and went about brewing coffee, despite the late hour.

"Do you do this to all your friends?"

"We're friends?"

He gave me a duh look, as if I were an idiot. "How long you been usin'?"

The words made it hard to swallow. A user. No...an abuser, that's what I was. But his eyes held no judgment, just curiosity...and a little sympathy.

I wasn't ready to answer so I asked, "Where's your mate?"

He sucked in an awkward breath and pretended to fiddle with the mugs on the counter. I had expected her to be here—the human woman he was purportedly with. But the apartment was small, far too small for two people. It was not fit for a king. Although, I had come to learn that Urameshi Yusuke seemed to be anything other than royalty.

"She...left me a few months ago," he said. He made a valiant effort to hide the hurt, but it was there.

I thought to ask why, the word on the tip of my tongue, but he plunked the mug down in front of me. "Sober up," he said. "Stay here if you want. But no drugs in my house, got it?"

I stared up at him and he stared down at me, his gaze absolute. "I...didn't come here for a lecture."

"And I didn't plan on giving you one. We all have our vices, Ettie. Things that take away the ache at night. But I won't have it here." He slipped into the seat across from me and gave me a poor attempt at a smile. "You've got a good thing goin', why ruin it?"

Ruin it? Ha! I've been doing this shit longer than you've been alive. At least thirty years, I would say. The tolerance I've acquired since then would shock you. As long as I didn't come into work so far gone that I couldn't function, there would be no ruining anything. No family to disappoint, at least none that cared, not many friends. And Yusuke...well, he was the first to know this about me besides my parents.

"I came here to question you about the bombings."

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and then sighed. "I can't tell you anything. I'm as clueless as everyone else."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Just..." he growled, mussing up his hair in frustration. "We're on it okay? Leave it at that."

I laughed, the sound bitter. "Do you know how many bodies I've had to bag and send to the morgue this past month? Do you realize how much blood I've had on my hands?"

"Ettie..."

"Don't 'Ettie' me, King Urameshi. I may be young for a demon...but I am old compared to you. Do you take me for an idiot?"

"No...no! Of course not. But I'm doing my best." His stare implored me, eyes speaking volumes compared to the words. "I'll catch the bastard, I promise."

I took a sip of my coffee and sucked on my teeth. "See, that's your first mistake. You're looking for a single person."

"You think there's more than one?"

I was about to reply, that yes, I was almost certain there was. But the kitchen window was thrown open and I dropped the mug in my hands. The coffee splashed across the table, the handle of the mug breaking off and shooting to the floor. Like a skittish animal I jolted from my seat. I crouched on the floor, preparing for an attack that never came.

"What a pathetic creature..."

Hiei.

What was he doing here? His arrival was my cue to leave.

I stood, trying to regain a bit of dignity. I didn't look at the Jaganshi, keeping my eyes trained on Yusuke. "We can discuss this later. Come by the station tomorrow, I'll be there."

I was about to turn and leave but the cold laugh from the fire demon made me stop in my tracks. He was looking me up and down, as if sizing me up for a fight and then deeming me a waste of time. He turned to Yusuke, "Are you aware you are associating with a drug addict?"

Yusuke released a withering sigh, "Yeah man, I know. And it doesn't matter to me. Wanna know what does? Why the hell you're climbing in my window at this ungodly hour."

Hiei's glare could have melted the polar ice caps. It was clear he was not happy with Yusuke's answer. But he chose to ignore it for now and handed the king a stack of papers. "Information on the territories' current states...and what I was able to garner from Mukuro on our current bounty."

Yusuke's face turned grim, "Is she aware you're playing her?"

Hiei cast me a glance and clammed right up. "I'm not some snitch," I said.

"I can't trust someone who spends ninety percent of their time high."

"Hiei, don't be such a jerk. She's cool, okay? I trust her."

"I don't give a damn," he snapped.

"I just want to help," I said.

"I don't give a damn about that either. Now leave, before I make you."

I frowned, a little hurt. Why was he taking my problem so personal? It's not like I was hurting him any.

Yusuke cast me an apologetic glance and I just shrugged, giving him a little smile. It was okay. I didn't care if Jaganshi Hiei liked me. I did not need his approval or opinion on my life choices.

He was no one to me.

"I'll see you later," I said to Yusuke and he nodded.

Hiei's glare followed me all the way out of the apartment and down the street.

But I would not give him the satisfaction. I would not fear him. So I sent a mental image of me giving him the finger.

I could have sworn I heard a shocked bark of laughter afterwards.

. . .

Summer 2003 – June

Sounds of retching filled my ears, retching and sobbing and choking. The fact it was coming from me made it even worse.

I had just returned from a run.

A GSW to the chest, demon on human violence. The human had been arrested...but the demon victim had needed help.

And well, he'd been a combative bastard. My entire stomach was one giant bruise. I think there was some internal damage, but nothing a good night's rest wouldn't fix.

It was one of the reasons why I was out back of the station, puking over an embankment. The other was because I was reacting badly to my latest batch. A higher dosage meant more chances for side effects. And because I was building up a tolerance again I didn't have a choice other than to deal with it.

Sometime later Shou came to get me.

I was crumpled on the ground, trying to catch my breath. My light blonde hair was plastered to my forehead. The summer heat and bout of heaving had left me a sticky mess.

"Momo said you were out here," he said. "You okay?"

I swallowed, the saliva thick and horrible tasting. "I will be." I held out a hand, "Help me up?"

Shou dragged my sorry ass back inside and to the showers. The station wasn't very big but we had a shower room, a small kitchen, a space for a washer and dryer, and a locker room to store our things. The main area was taken up by the garage.

"Strip," said Shou, holding his hands out for my clothes.

I didn't argue. I was covered in sweat. Though I knew the gross feeling wouldn't go away even after I showered.

Shou left me to my business, taking my clothes away to be washed in the tiny laundry room adjacent to the locker room.

I stopped to look in one of the full length mirrors. Half my stomach was purple and I grimaced at the sight.

The rest of me was the same as it had been for years, besides the hair. I had cut a good portion of it off and it now ended just below my shoulder blades. However, it remained a corn silk blonde, just as it was when I was born.

I was five feet tall with stubby legs, a thin waist, and a chest that was not too big or too small. My skin was tanned, cheeks naturally ruddy. Hazel eyes with a slight slant at the outer corners that made me look like I was always smiling. Thin lips that covered my chipped left front tooth, with a scar just above it through my upper lip. A small mole rested beneath my right eye, on the apple of my cheek. There were only four toes on my left foot. The little toe had been lost to frostbite while I was still learning to use my powers.

The beds of my fingernails were tinted blue from my constant use of ice. My entire right arm, from the back of my hand to my shoulder, was covered in a sleeve of tattoos. There was a tiny stud underneath the center of my bottom lip. I wore heavy black kohl makeup around my eyes, but nothing else.

In all my years I had not changed much about myself.

Perhaps it was time.

I stepped into the spray of the shower, water cold. I washed the sweat off, scrubbing harder than necessary. And then just stood there beneath the stream, palms pressed against the tile wall.

I needed to go see Yusuke today. I had promised I would. But I just wanted to go home and sleep.

The bombings had continued into the summer. More deaths, more injured. So much suffering. I couldn't stand to see it. So I had agreed to help him, to gather information at every scene from the demons that were able. The police never bothered with them, human and demon relations were so strained. And if a demon somehow managed to get into the police force they had to hide who they were in fear of being killed.

This was not what Yusuke had wanted.

And so many people still sat in denial, not wanting to believe that such creatures like me and Yusuke and the others were real. Even though demons had been living among them for nine years now. Demon children were still ostracized. The workforce was a dream to most of the adults. But there were places that were accepting. Not everyone was closed minded. We needed more people like that in the world.

And Yusuke had been the catalyst that would make that change viable—make it real.

"Hey, Ettie!" A voice shouted from the doorway of the shower room. "Someone's here to see you!"

That was odd. Yusuke knew I would be coming to see him later...why would he show up here now?

I finished up quickly and dressed in civilian clothes—a simple t-shirt with an arabesque design on its front and a pair of jean shorts. I slipped sandals on my feet just as I strode back into the garage.

But it wasn't Yusuke who was there waiting for me. And now I was even more confused.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I was louder than I needed to be, my crew members stared at me with raised eyebrows. But I couldn't help the shock.

The tension between Hiei and I had not lessened in the past so many weeks. I had been hanging around Yusuke for a couple of months now and the fire demon disapproved. He made sure to be vocal about it too. And if he wasn't using words, he was glaring at me like I was some kind of parasite.

He strode over to me with fast steps, grabbing my arm and hauling me into the first empty room he could find. When he began to strip off his shirt I held up my hands and backed away. "Whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!"

I realized what the issue was a second later. Once he'd managed to strip the cotton off the grotesque wound that had ripped his sternum open, I sprung into action.

To say I was shocked he had come to me was an understatement, but it wasn't like he didn't know what I did for a living. He'd seen me patch up Kuwabara just the other day, after the boy had bitten off more than he could chew. Fighting with a demon triple his size was his first mistake, doing it while drunk had been the proverbial nail in his coffin.

I assessed the wound, deemed it wasn't life threatening and looked worse than it was. Except I could see what looked like shrapnel stuck in it. His fingers were bloodied, telling me he'd tried take it out and failed—thus why he'd come to me. "Stay here, I'll be right back." I ran off to find some equipment, gloves, antiseptic, a suture kit and forceps.

When I returned Hiei eyed all the things in my arms and nixed half of it. "No stitches, just take the metal out," he said.

"It could get infected," I tried to reason with him but he just shook his head.

"I only came to you because I lacked the tools necessary, do as I ask, or I will leave."

I raised an eyebrow at him, my face turning smug. "Oh? Then go right ahead, Mr. Badass. Leave and have fun walking around with shrapnel poking at your lungs."

He shot me a glare but I ignored it and got to work. He didn't say another word. So I worked in silence, careful to pull each piece out and make it as painful as possible. The metal was plunked into a plastic basin of alcohol after.

When I had plucked out the final piece I asked, "How did this happen?"

"I got too close..." he murmured.

"To what?"

He deigned not to reply and instead pressed a hand to the wound. A second later the smell of burning flesh filled my nose. He finished cauterizing the wound, picked up his shirt, and ran off without so much as a thank you.

I sat in the laundry room, a little stunned and a lot of confused.

Jaganshi Hiei...was the strangest man I'd ever met. There was no denying that.

And there was also no denying the slight satisfaction I felt. I grinned, all previous feelings of sickness fleeing. Jaganshi Hiei came to me for help, ha!

I think I might have felt my ego inflate about tenfold from that fact.

The rest of the day was spent with a permanent smile on my face. A smile that did not fade even when out on a run with the crew. No explosions this week. No death.

And perhaps I had chipped a piece off the icy exterior of Jaganshi Hiei.

It was a good day.

Later that evening, sequestered in my small apartment, I fell asleep to the sounds of classic guitar. The drug swam in my veins, making me feel warm, safe. My safe place. That is where it began and ended. Why I needed it so bad.

Because at the end of the day I was still running from my demons. Just like everyone else.

In the dead of the night my pager began to buzz.

Even through the haze I knew what it meant, what I must do.

And all happiness faded.

. . .

A/N: I really hate trying to describe my characters because I find it hard to work it into the story unless it's being seen through someone else's eyes. It sounds so boring xD But I wanted all of you to know how I imagine Ettie in my head. All the tiny details like her missing toe and the tattoos and the piercing. The small scar on her upper lip. She's perfectly imperfect and I love it.