"What are Kaito's lips like?"
Heiji nearly spits out his soda when he's disrupted from a case file. He looks up at the doorway, and unsurprisingly, Kudo Shinichi, the former great high school detective of the east and one of his three roommates, is leaning uncomfortably with a cup of coffee in his hands.
Heiji narrows his eyes. "Why the hell are ya askin' me?"
Shinichi shifts uncomfortably under the glare. The blush on the detective's cheeks is impossible to miss. He checks the hallway behind him for eavesdroppers and begins to speak in a low tone. "Well, I was hanging out with Kaito the other night and for some reason starting wondering about his lips…? And I've never been close enough to him, uh, like that, but you did during that heist-"
"Okay, stop talking right now," Heiji interrupts, hiding his growing flush under his hands. The moment Kaito had drunkenly revealed that he was the now-retired Kaitou KID during their monthly nights in, Heiji knew that he would never live down the incident that had happened between the two of them during the Conan-era. Of course, Kaito and Saguru gave him shit for it. Shinichi would bring it up to discredit his deductions. Even his girlfriend likes to tease him about it during their more lighthearted arguments.
It's unfair, really; everyone makes fun of Heiji for that single (albeit massive) mistake, but no one can say anything about how Shinichi became a child for a whole year and lived with his supposed soulmate and went to fucking grade school. If the magician wasn't so gone for Shinichi, then he and Hakuba could get away with making the Tokyoite detective the butt of the joke every once in a while. Instead, teasing the Heisei Holmes means that you wake up the next morning at the mercy of one former phantom thief.
Heiji takes a deep breath and takes his head out of his hands. "Well, he's got soft lips, they were glossy, too, but that may be because he was pretending to be Kazuha…" he trails off, taking in the situation. "Wait, why am I explaining this to ya? First off, it was a mistake 5 years ago. Secondly…" he trailed off before shaking his head, "Second of all, why dontcha just find out yourself? Such a great detective should be able to find such a simple answer." Shinichi's face fell for a moment but then smirked from the challenge.
"No problem for someone with my skill," he responds before turning down the hallway to his and Kaito's shared room.
"Getting cocky, aren't we?" Heiji calls down the hallway. Hopefully, you'll get some real cock soon, too.
Kaito's back from his classes today, so there's obviously no response from his friend. Instead, he just pats himself on the back.
Once the other detective has closed the door to his room, Heiji pulls out his phone and texts a group chat called "Team KaiShin".
"kudo just asked me about kuroba's lips"
He gets various responses right away, ranging from yay :) and can they hurry up? Down the hall, he hears their other roommate, Saguru, opts for a verbal response and scream out "Finally!"
Of course, it was immediately followed by a synchronized "Shut up!" from Kaito and Heiji.
The next afternoon, Sagaru catches Shinichi hunched over an assignment for their classes in the library. His brow is furrowed and his hand rests on his chin. As Saguru quietly approaches the other detective, he sees that about 15 sheets of paper filled with Punnett Squares along with various biology textbooks scattered about. Odd, I don't remember Shinichi mentioning a biology course for this semester or a physical science one for that matter.
Saguru decides that Shinichi looks ridiculous right now. He takes a picture of the deranged detective with a hint of madness in his eyes. Shinichi turns around at the shutter sound.
"Hakuba, would you care to explain why you just took a photo of me?"
Explaining would probably make the situation worse. Saguru decides to ignore the other boy's question in exchange for his own. "What are you doing with all of this biology work out? I thought you had already fulfilled your physical science requirement."
Shinichi looks up. His annoyance with the other detective is obvious. "Yesterday, I tried asking Hattori about Kaito's lips because I couldn't stop thinking about them the other day-" he freezes at the sight of Hakuba's raised eyebrow, "-I mean, in a platonic way… but that's not the point! The idiot told me to figure it out myself, so now I'm…" he gestures to the mess on the table, "…well, you get it."
Saguru furrows his eyebrow and scratches his head. "No I don't. Unfortunately, you're going to need to explain this a little more."
Shinichi rolls his eyes as if what he's doing is the most natural thing ever. "I looked up images of his father and mother and made Punnett Squares which align with the alleles which correspond to lip type. It's a long process since I don't know a lot about biology, but I'm making progress. See?" he shoves the papers into Saguru's face.
Shinichi's right: he's done a lot of work. But…
"Kudo-kun, do you know what to do with this information once you have it?" A confused glance. "What I mean is, you'll have the allele sequences, but I doubt you'll be satisfied with your findings. How are you supposed to reconstruct his lips?" Embarrassed, Saguru only mutters the last sentence loud enough for Shinichi to hear. I can't believe I have to explain this to one of the greatest minds of our generation.
The moment he comprehends what his friend said, Shinichi's face crumples as he smacks his forehead. He leans back in the chair and stares at the ceiling.
"I should've thought of that," Shinichi groans, shifting his arm to cover his eyes. Saguru prays that the other detective isn't crying. The last thing I need right now is Kuroba up my ass for the next week and a half because I made Kudo-kun break down.
He reaches out to pat the other detective's head but realizes that that's probably a terrible idea. Instead, he sits down next to the other detective and looks him in the eye. "Don't worry about the mess here. I think Kuroba-kun is waiting for you back at the apartment. I'll put the textbooks away and reorganize your notes."
A still disgruntled Shinichi moves his arm off of his eyes. "Kaito is waiting for me in the apartment?" His eyes brighten considerably and nearly jumps out of his seat. It falls over, making Shinichi flush from the nosy glances attracted by the noise. "Thanks for helping me out, Hakuba. And don't worry about the notes, you can just throw them out." He slings his backpack over his shoulder and picks up the chair.
"You know, you should go on a more personal route to find the answer to your questions. Kuroba-kun is your frie- I mean, uh, not a suspect. You have more direct methods to be doing this."
Shinichi tries to smile gratefully, but it's clear he's only thinking about going back to the apartment. He thanks Saguru for a final time and disappears down the stairs, and it only occurs to him at that moment that Kaito has no idea that Shinichi was waiting for him.
At least the magician is easy to convince, especially when it comes to his favorite detective. Kaito picks up on the fourth ring.
"What do you want?"
"Kudo-kun is having a crisis that's not my fault. Spend some time together tonight and try to make him feel better. He's about 10 minutes away since he was just in the library."
"Oh-fucking hell-" there's a crash in the background, "ouch! Yeah, I got it," is all the magician says as Saguru winces at the sound of an explosion. He's certain that Kaito had quite literally dropped everything to prepare for an unforgettable night of definitely-not-sex his (loudly expressed) crush.
"Kaito, please don't burn down the apartment. We can't afford a more expensive one."
A laugh bubbles up from the other side of the line. "You mean I can't afford a more expensive one. Thank you for looking out for me. Also what was Shinichi doing in the library?"
"Figure it out yourself," Saguru responds sharply, ignoring Kaito's snarky comments. He hangs up right away, slightly fuming but also hoping the time alone would give Shinichi a chance to find the answer to his question.
To be honest, no one but the two of them knows what happens in their shared room in the apartment. In fact, no one has been allowed in their room for months now. Sometimes when the Kaito and Shinichi disappear into it, Saguru, Heiji, and the girls press their ears to the neighboring walls and strain their ears. There's no sound though, just an occasional mutter which is too quiet to even comprehend. Saguru himself is certain they spend all of their time gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, but there's some discourse happening within the "Team KaiShin" group chat arguing otherwise.
Speaking of which…
Once he's finished putting the last of the textbooks away, he sends the photos of a panicked Shinichi to the group with a message recapping the past 15 minutes in the library. Immediately, he gets a response from Heiji which says "holy shit he's such an idiot".
For once, Saguru agrees with the Osakan detective.
The next day, Ran and Shinichi are sitting in their cafeteria during their routine weekly lunches. They started back in high school when he had first come back from his year-long leave of absence. She's still not quite sure what happened, but when he came back, he was very much disinterested in starting a relationship with her. At first, Ran was annoyed and dejected. She spent their first lunches pestering him for details, but she quickly realized that Conan disappearing and reappearing at the same time as Shinichi wasn't a coincidence. Considering that he had returned with a massive number of contacts in the FBI, CIA, and other international organizations, Ran decided that wanted as little as possible to do with his time away.
It worked out for the best though, since they both ended up with someone better for them. Well, not Shinichi yet, but everyone knew it was just a matter of time.
Today, Ran is in the midst of trying to recount her video-chat date with Sera. Shinichi is unusually absorbed in his phone, jotting down an occasional note in a notebook. She switches to recap a murder that her girlfriend to see if he'll, but when he doesn't look up at that, she suddenly snatches Shinichi's phone from across the cafeteria's table. He looks up in alarm.
"Oi, give that back!"
"Why? What can be more interesting than what I have to say? My girlfriend's solving crime in Ameri- oh, I see…" she holds up his phone and watches his face freeze before rolling his eyes.
Shinichi has four different social media apps opened up, along with an album filled with photos from the party that the boys had hosted in their apartment last week he has saved to his phone. All of the photos had Kaito in them. Ran also takes a mental note of the fact that there were just too many of those photos saved privately to his profiles. After browsing through while dodging the detective's weak attempts at getting his phone back, it's clear that this habit began last year when the detectives and Kaito had first moved in together.
Ran smirks. "Stalking your crush. Did you ever do this to me during high school?"
"What? No, I didn't have a phone back then. Shit, I mean, I-" Shinichi coughs loudly and gulps down his water. "He's not my crush, and I'm not stalking him. I just want to know what his lips are like. Not in a romantic way though," he tacks on the last part, just to be clear.
Ran looks down at the phone, confused. "In what world is this 'not romantic'? Who platonically wonders what someone's lips are like?" she refutes condescendingly, using air quotes to emphasize her point.
Shinichi glares at her for a moment, but eventually, his jaw drops, and his eyes widen in shock. "Oh my god, do I like… Kaito?"
His friend just yawns at his revelation. "Did you just figure it out now?"
The dumbfounded detective can only nod.
Ran just signs. "We've all known, but I mean, you've said it yourself, that you can't deduce the hearts of someone you love. Also, you guys share a room and spend way too much time in there for it to be normal, and none of us actually know," Ran points out as her friend's cheeks tint red. She looks up, wondering aloud, "What does happen in there?"
Shinichi spluttered and scratched his cheek. "That's, uh, private…and wait, how do you know I… I love him?" His cheeks are suddenly flooded with heat. He averts his eyes from Ran who reaches out to grab his hand. Ran knows if it wasn't for his aversion to breaking their promises, he would have been out of there in an instant.
"Trust me, I think you knew before the rest of us."
She lets him sit there for a moment and process his sudden epiphany. She grins softly.
"I love him," he repeats in a hushed tone, testing it on his tongue.
Ran rolls her eyes to try to suppress a smile. Her eyes catch Kaito paying for his lunch so she desperately changes the subject. "By the way, if you don't tell me what happens in your room, then I'm going to hold onto your phone to see if there's some evidence on it."
With a strangled cry, Shinichi makes a desperate bid for the aforementioned cell phone. Soon after their fight begins, Kaito saunters over to the duo and drapes himself around the detective, pinning down the arms of the irritated detective.
"Whatever happened, I side with Shinichi," Kaito purrs. He takes the seat next to Shinichi, who's blushing furiously. He takes his arm further from the boy off of him and gestures for the phone.
Ran rolls her eyes and hands it to Kaito. "You win this time, but only because my girlfriend isn't here to defend my honor and my karate stays in the dojo." The magician stiffens at the mention of Sera. A slightly recovered Shinichi looks up at Kaito and says, "Don't worry, I'll protect you from Ran's Jeet Kune Do girlfriend!"
Just like that, they've forgotten that Ran's even here.
This was definitely not part of the plan, but Ran remained unfazed. She stands up, making a point to 'accidentally' step on Kaito's foot. They both look up at her, and there are unmistakable tears forming in the magician's eyes. "Look, Shinichi, now that Kaito-kun is here, you don't need to open up a hundred photos of him to figure it out!"
With another smirk, she stalks off. Luckily, Kaito has Shinichi pinned down. The only thing she hears is Kaito cooing, "Aww, you were looking at photos of me, Shin-chan?" and immediate response of "Don't call me that, you idiot".
Ran takes one last glance at the couple, praying that her idiot childhood friend could fend for herself. He's biting his lip and leaning away from a grinning Kaito, but doesn't fight off the arm still hanging around him protectively. This is actually… kinda cute, Ran thinks, before snapping a picture and sending it to "Team KaiShin".
"Shinichi figured it out!"
Kazuha responds right away.
"What happened?"
Ran finds a secluded hallway to record an audio message recapping her eventful lunch in lieu of a long text. Aoko sends a celebratory emoji. Kazuha adds to it, saying "Can we just lock them into a room together?"
Of course, Ran responds, typing out that, "They do that already anyway."
Ran finds an outdoor bench to sit on to wait for the boys. She watches Kaito and Shinichi eventually stroll past her, walking a little too close together and forgetting anyone else exists. As usual, their backs of their hands touch each other but neither of them made a real move to grab the other's hand.
However, Shinichi's Kaito face (as she calls it) is replaced with a look of determination and focus which he reserved for murders and Kaito's so-called Poker Face was slightly collapsed. We can't leave these two alone, can we?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. She reopens "Team Kaishin" and demands: "Boy's room. Dinner tonight."
Without waiting for an approving message, Ran calls the only other person who was equipped enough to boss around the boys. She picks up the phone immediately.
"Hi, Ran-chan! Can Aoko do anything for you?"
Ran smiles fondly, responding, "I'm actually just calling to give you a heads up that Kaito might be in a pouty mood this afternoon. Whatever you guys do on days like that, make sure it happens in the boy's apartment. I'll make sure Shinichi is there and we'll figure it out from there."
"On no, did something happen already?"
She shakes her head, glancing at the boys. "Nothing too serious I think. Just idiots being idiots."
As predicted, Aoko is sitting with Kaito in the boy's sitting area not even three hours later, listening to him go on about Shinichi for what feels like the thousandth time. As promised, Ran let herself into the apartment, preparing dinner for their crew and guarding the door so Shinichi can't slip out for the night. And as anticipated, Kaito has been lying his head on Aoko's lap, muttering nonsense for the past 10 minutes.
They usually do this at the girl's apartment, where Kaito would lie on Aoko's bed as she pretended to do her homework. In reality, she would update "Team Kaishin" on the couple's drama. This is the first time Ran is here to personally witness a Kaito Crisis in person.
She quickly realizes that you can only decipher what he has to say if the listener wants to put in the effort to do so. Ran doesn't though since she's cooking dinner for 7 starving students and has her music blasting loudly while she does so.
Meanwhile, Aoko, the resident expert Kaito-translator, is petting his head gently. She only listens to him long enough to hear, "... and he's just glaring at me with his scary murder face! He kept looking down too, and I didn't see his eyes all afternoon. Did I do something wrong? I'm thinking back and…" before deciding to ignore him. Aoko twists her neck to talk to Ran.
"Ran-chan, how long is dinner in?
She checks the food and the time. "Probably about 20 minutes… why do you ask?" Aoko jerks her head towards a now neglected Kaito who was trying to grab Aoko's chin to bring her attention back to him. A smile slowly grows on Ran's face.
"Actually, I was thinking of making dessert since we have more time for dinner." She makes sure to raise her voice before continuing, "maybe something with chocolate?"
Of course, Kaito perks up right away. He's stopped moping and basically teleported into the kitchen, charming the cook like there's no tomorrow. He's promptly shut up when Ran points a ladle at him and accidentally splashes some of the miso soup on him. "You," Ran snapped, not unkindly while further flourishing the ladle, "have to go talk to Shinichi right now if you even want to think about having some tonight."
"But he's mad at me," the magician whined while wiping the soup off of his face. Aoko and Ran exchange exasperated glances until the stove bubbles loudly and makes suspicious noises. She yelps and calls out to Aoko, "Just do what you have to, Aoko-chan," and before Kaito even realizes it, his childhood friend is dragging him across the apartment and locking him into his own room. Aoko calls into the room, "Figure your shit out!" and walks back over to Ran.
The kitchen is under control again, but it's clear that Ran's got her hands full. She smiles and nods gratefully when Aoko suggests just asking Saguru if he could buy a cake on his way back from the station since he ran into another murder today anyway. In "Team Kaishin", Aoko sends a quick message.
"hakuba stop at that nice cake shop and get the large chocolate cake"
"btw theyre in the room together and hopefully gonna resolve their issues"
Hakuba responds with an affirmative, so Aoko helps to set up the table for 7 people. After setting down their plates and cups, she looks up at Ran. Ran lowers the music, and aside from the sizzling in a pan, the apartment is nearly silent.
"Do you think they've made progress by now?" Aoko wonders.
Ran doesn't get a chance to respond, because as if on cue, Heiji stumbles out of his room with wide eyes and an alarming pallor. All he manages to blurt is, "They are so fucking loud. I will never know peace again, ya hear me?"
The two girls sigh in relief. Ran is repeating to herself "It finally happened," and Aoko reaches for her phone.
"mission success!"
In a couple of minutes, Saguru and Kazuha walk into the apartment at that point with massive grins on their faces. Kazuha jumps into Heiji's arms, and he falls right onto the couch, screaming, "Give me a break, I'm traumatized!". The other detective does his best to ignore the commotion and awkwardly hands Ran the cake. He also procures a bottle of champagne and pops the cork.
Team Kaishin is still toasting themselves and the new couple when a flushed Kaito and Shinichi step out of their room, hand in hand. Shinichi glares at their friends.
"Were you guys planning all of this out?"
Heiji snorts and rolls her eyes. "Well, ya guys weren't gonna do it yourselves."
Of course, Shinichi flushes bright red. He buries his face in Kaito's chest, who hugs him protectively.
"Lay off of my boyfriend," he says with a proud, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Shinichi squeezes him harder.
Saguru just passes over two mugs filled with champagne (since of course the boys don't have enough cutlery or tableware) and toasts, "To Kaito and Shinichi! And to Team Kaishin." He turns around to wink at his friends.
"You guys have a name?!" Kaito screeched, causing the others to laugh even louder as they made their way to the table.
They're too busy chatting and cheering to notice Shinichi muttering "To us," into Kaito's ear before standing on his toes to kiss him gently on his flushed cheek.