A/N: Did I give Johnny a specific date of birth? I don't remember. (Prize for world's best memory). It's like my worst habit, I swear. I know it was in October. Ahhh I'll just make one up lol ugh, I'm the worst. Anyway, enjoy guys! This was long overdue.

OH.

And yes, I did watch Roanoke.
And my thoughts on it are

WHERE THE HELL IS MY OPENING

No joke, the opening is like my favorite part of a brand new season. So far, Coven has my favorite opening. Asylum is second, then Murder House (I used to skip that one cause it creeped me out lol) and then Freak Show. I didn't like Hotel's opening much but I liked its version of the theme song. What's your guys' fave?

Anyway, so far I do like Roanoke. I think the first episode had a Murder House vibe to it. It wasn't flashy like Hotel and the pace was very good. It was super creepy. Like old AHS creepy. I also enjoyed the setting. Something about the south. There's just a lot to it. Also, my girl Pauly looking mega fine in them jeans. I'm always so salty when I watch other people kiss up on her haha watch it Cuba Gooding Jr.
Also, Lily Rabe! Dude. Yesssss. Love having her back. If only Zachary Quinto would come back I'd die. And Alexandra B. too. (TWD Spoiler alert: Which I'm still super upset she died in TWD but I get she's a new mommy now and that's important too.)
I did like the new twist they added with the interview and the reenactments. I watch a lot of ghost shows/documentaries like that so it was interesting to me. I also noticed the title screen pops up when it's commercial time just like in Ghost Hunters lol I liked that too. I think the first episode has a lot of potential and I'm glad it's going back to its old roots. I'm mega stoked to see Kathy Bates and everyone else.

Ok. Essay over. But let me know how you guys liked it or didn't!

.

SEVENTEEN

The First Year

.

It took Lana a moment to comprehend that the little boy standing up in his crib, grasping the wooden side with grubby little hands had been in her life for an entire year. She sat there, the morning of October 16th, watching the boy that waited so patiently to be taken out of his crib. His brown hair was in messy curls and cowlicks from a night of heavy sleeping. His little cheeks were a soft, rosy red that were irresistible to pinch and squeeze.

That little boy had been alive and thriving for twelve exact months. She had seen him grow before her very own eyes but in a way, she felt as if he had just been a newborn moments before. And Lana couldn't imagine how he would be if she had given him up. If his hair was as luscious, if his eyes as bright, his cheeks as rosy and his smile as wide. If he had grown up anything like his father in the system, her little Johnny may not have been the same happy baby she was looking at in that moment.

Wendy was still asleep at her side and Lana didn't want to wake her. She wanted to be the first to wish their son a happy birthday. It seemed silly and almost foolish but it was a special day for Lana too. Her life had changed drastically for the better.

When Johnny spotted Lana, he stuck his hand in his grin and gave out a squealy giggle. Lana swore no one had ever looked at her the way Johnny did with those cobalt blue eyes of his. The unconditional love almost hurt.

Lana climbed out bed and went to the crib. "Hey, little boy."

Johnny jumped up and down, holding onto the bannister to keep from falling. He still wasn't walking but he was close. He raised a hand up to touch Lana's face. Lana placed her hands under his arms and plucked him from the crib.

"Muh-muh." Johnny mumbled, with his hand still in his mouth, pretty content being the center of Lana's attention.

Even though he had two mothers, Johnny somehow knew that Lana was his birth mother and even though Wendy loved him unconditionally and he her, there was just something about Lana that he favored.

Lana sighed, "Why are you getting so big? Can you stop?"

Johnny only babbled.

She smiled, "Happy Birthday, little one."

Lana took Johnny to the bed and sat him down, "Go on, wake Mama." And watched the little boy crawl his way to Wendy.

.

Wendy was beyond over joyed and fussed over the baby all morning. She dressed him in his brand new red overalls and sat him in his high chair for breakfast. Lana sat next to him reading the paper of the day, going over certain news that had caught her eye.

Johnny noticed the paper and reached for it only because Lana had it.

Lana pulled it away, "No, Johnny."

Wendy opened the fridge, "Oh, Lana, let him see the paper."

"Oh, for what? Does he need to check the funnies?" Lana asked in a deadpan manner, not bothering to look up from the paper Johnny was still trying to reach for.

"It's his birthday. Just spoil him for once."

"I do spoil him." Lana admitted, continuing to read the paper while Johnny tried to swat at it next, "I feed him, I dress him, and I put a roof over his head."

"Pfft." Wendy laughed, "You're so mean to him." She pulled out the milk from the fridge and closed the door.

Lana set the paper down and looked at her. "Mean? I'm being mean? Don't act like you haven't seen my breasts, you know they haven't been the same." She glanced over at Johnny, "I hope you're happy."

Johnny put his hands to his mouth and squealed happily.

"Hmm. Figures."

Wendy tilted her head back and laughed, "Lana, your tits are fine. They've never been better."

"Oh, bite me."

Wendy poured Lana a glass of milk and set it on the table, "Should I warm it up for you to calm you down or are you good?"

Lana held Wendy's gaze and the two laughed. "Let's see you push a melon out of your hole and see how well you like it."

Wendy laughed. "Well, was it not worth it?"

Lana glanced at Johnny who somehow forgot the paper and became fascinated with his feet. "Yeah, it was."

.

Wendy went off to the school but promised she'd return right home so they could spend the day together with the baby. Wendy wanted to throw him a birthday party but Lana thought it be better if they didn't. Many of their friends had stopped talking to them after they kept the boy and well, there was just no one to invite. Barb was out of town and Lois, well, they knew she wouldn't come around for such a thing unless Barb forced her.

"Are you sure? We still can. It'll be last minute but maybe some people will show up." Wendy asked while collecting her purse and heading to the door.

They stopped in the doorway. "Wendy," Lana began, "We were the only two people in his entire first year of life. We're the only ones that deserve to celebrate it with him."

Wendy gazed into Lana's eyes and knew she was right. She nodded, "Okay. Just don't have any fun without me." She went out the door.

"No promises!" Lana called after her but smiled and waved her off.

She watched Wendy pulled out of the driveway and down the street. She continued to watch her until she heard a crash. "Oh, no. Johnny!" and hurried back inside.

.

Johnny sat back, watching his mother clean up the broken pot.

"You have to be careful, little boy. Okay?" She picked up the broken pieces and placed them in a small trash can, "Do you understand? You can get hurt. And then what am I gonna do? Hmm?"

Johnny pointed at her, "uh muh-muh."

Lana sighed softly, "You're gonna get away with a lot with that face, you know."

Johnny babbled his own language and rolled to the side and crawled off towards the book shelf. Lana watched him go. "You're lucky it's your birthday, Mr. Winters."

.

When Wendy came home she did not arrive empty handed. She came home with a birthday cake, a few wrapped gifts and a couple of balloons. The sight of her made Lana laugh. She also decorated the living room and kitchen with streamers and a Birthday sign.

"You really outdid yourself, Ms. Peyser." Lana sat Johnny on her hip, watching Wendy decorate.

"Thank you for noticing, Ms. Winters."

She stepped back to admire her work. Their home sure had changed much since Johnny's arrival.

The two women spent the day inside with the little boy. Watching him play with his balloons and open his gifts. They sat him in his high chair and sang to him as they presented him his cake. Wendy blew out his candles for him and let him stick his entire hand in the small cake. It was a simple day; kept hidden in their home so only they could enjoy it. Lana didn't mind it, she preferred it.

At the end of the day, she dug into her closet and brought out a red box she had been saving. She took it to the living room where Wendy sat on the carpet with Johnny while he played with his toys. The TV was playing but no one was watching it.

Wendy noticed the box, "What do you got there?"

"Just one last present." She sat with them. "It's simple, but it reminded me of him." She set the box in front of the baby. He looked at it and tapped it with his hands.

"Wow, baby, Mommy got you a gift. Should we find out what it is?" Wendy unwrapped the box and took the lid off the box.

Johnny reached inside and pulled out a stuffed orange tabby cat. He giggled, "Dee-dee!"

Wendy chuckled, "Lana, a stuffed cat?"

"I know it isn't much but I see how he gets when he sees the neighbor's cat and I thought he would like it."

Wendy placed her hand over Lana's, "It's perfect, Love. Just perfect."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

Wendy could see the love Lana had for their son perfectly in her gaze and in her actions. She knew that if Lana didn't really care she would have gotten Johnny a random toy. Not something that reminded her of him. Bloody Face had destroyed so many lives but with that little boy, he had helped make their lives better in a way. It was a strange way that had started out rough and still had its downs but in the end, Wendy knew they were better off.

Little did she know, Lana was thinking the same. Bloody Face had contributed to only one good thing in his life. Sadly for him, he would never exist to the boy. Lana would not allow it.

.

When they put Johnny to bed, Lana and Wendy snuggled together on the sofa. The winds outside had begun to pick up sending a howl through the night. Wendy rested her head on Lana's shoulder, Lana's arm around her.

"Do you remember how tiny he was?" Wendy played with Lana's fingers.

"Yeah, I remember."

"I thought he'd break if I held him too tight."

"He really was a tiny little thing." Lana watched Wendy play with her hand. "So fragile and helpess…"

"He still is." Wendy noted.

"Yes, but now he's breaking my pots and terrorizing my shelves."

Wendy laughed. "He's still learning."

Lana leaned her head back, "Are we doing this right?"

Wendy turned to her, "Doing what right?"

"Raising him."

Wendy frowned, "Of course we are. What makes you think other wise?"

"I don't know, I guess maybe because we didn't throw him a party, invite the neighborhood or get him a clown."

"Ugh, Lana you know how I feel about clowns."

Lana chuckled, "Right. I forgot."

"Don't think that way. Besides, you said it yourself; we're the only ones he has. No one else should matter."

"Damn straight." Lana agreed. "I just can't help but to feel a little guilty."

"Don't." Wendy kissed her lips, "You're a wonderful mother. Stop second guessing yourself."

Lana sighed, "You're right."

"So you finally admit that I am?" Wendy raised a brow.

"Oh, shut up." Lana laughed. She glanced at Johnny's toys on the floor. "We have one year down and about seventeen more to go before he's old enough to abandon us."

Wendy laughed at this. "Seventeen years is a long time."

"A year is a long time and look at how fast that went."

"Don't worry Mama Bear, Baby Bear will still need you. Even after seventeen years."

Lana and Wendy went to bed sometime past midnight. When the clock struck twelve Lana was a bit sad that Johnny's big day was over. However, there would be many to come.

"Maybe when he turns five we could throw him a bigger party." Wendy suggested as she began to doze off.

"I'm sure he'd love that." Lana answered and turned off the light.