The Shotgun Approach

Chapter 11: Blame it on the Alcohol

. . .

I was drunk.

We would just get that out of the way now.

The music was too loud, the drugs that filtered through the crowd were making the world's colors a little too bright, and the alcohol made me warm and fluid.

Forget.

That's all I could do right now.

I didn't want to think about terrorists, or bombs, or boy kings. I didn't want to hide or deny myself things I've wanted for so long. I just wanted to be numb. And if not that, then deep within a haze so thick that all I felt was pleasure.

I hated clubs. But they were the perfect place to lose yourself.

I let my body move to the music of its own accord, pressing against sweaty bodies, touching skin to skin. Someone handed me another drink and I downed it. It took a lot of alcohol to get a demon drunk, but I was way past that limit now.

I danced long into the evening. When I finally stumbled my way back home, being at least smart enough not to bring my motorcycle, I was shocked I even made it.

After an embarrassingly long amount of time fumbling with my keys, I managed to get my front door open and tripped on my way through. Hands at my shoulders were the only things that stopped me from falling flat on my face.

"Yusuke," I slurred. His energy was muffled thanks to the drugs. It dulled all my senses. But I did recognize it, now that he was touching me.

His scent too. Musky. Electric. Clean.

Reluctant, I pulled myself up and away from him, trying to gracefully step around him and failing.

To cover my blunder, I fell backwards into the wall, using it for support. "I could call the police on you," I said.

"You're shitfaced," he said.

I hiccuped and then laughed. Yeah, I was. And through blurry vision I cast an appreciative look from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes.

He wore a pair of jeans that were just a little too sinfully tight and a white t-shirt that accented the muscles beneath it quite well. He was barefoot, a testament to how comfortable he'd grown within my space. A space that should be private.

A place that was very dangerous for him to be right now.

I licked my lips and felt my blood heat. I could do whatever I wished with him right now. He would let me. I knew he would.

The rational part of my brain, the one that was in control ninety percent of the time, was long gone. What was left were baser desires. Carnal hungers. Demonic instinct. Self preservation.

And Yusuke, the naive little fool, hadn't even realized what he'd caught himself up in.

I moved far more smoothly than I had just a few breaths before. I pressed myself up against his chest like a cat in heat and shoved my hands beneath his shirt, running the pads of my fingers across the expanse of his abdominal muscles, feeling all the dips and scars along the way.

Yusuke sucked in a sharp breath and I heard when it got caught somewhere in his chest. It eventually came out as a whiny groan when I wedged my leg between his thighs.

I stood on tiptoe, pressing my lips to that bit of skin near the edge of his collar. I heard when he swallowed hard and I ran my tongue over his adam's apple, tasting his skin. This seemed to shock him out of whatever trance he was in and he grabbed at my shoulders, prying me off him.

"This isn't like you. You need to stop."

"Stop?" I murmured. "A couple of weeks ago you would have jumped at the chance."

"You weren't drunk then."

"But I'm always high. What's the difference."

I slipped out of his hold, ducking under his arms and grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. I walked backwards, pulling him along with me, towards the bed.

Just before I reached its edge I stopped, pulling my shirt over my head, dropping it to the floor. My fingers went to my jeans next, popping the button, pulling down the zipper. He watched on, his face impassive and surprisingly controlled. But his eyes gave him away. There I saw a hunger no different than mine, a slight edge to his gaze that told me he was also angry.

Angry at me or himself, I did not know. Did not care.

When my clothing was shed, laying on my floor like the second skin of a snake, I sunk back onto the bed. I laid myself out as if I were a feast just waiting to be eaten.

Yusuke sucked in a shuddering breath and held it. He released it on one long rush of air, his eyes dipping closed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated, and then bent to pick up the rumpled sheets that were strewn beside the bed.

He tossed them over me and only then did he open his eyes. "I won't touch you like this. Get some sleep, sober the fuck up. I'll see you in the morning."

I reared up from the mattress, letting the sheets fall to pool in my lap. A sudden, irrational fury burned its way through me on swift wings and I couldn't decide if I wanted to cry out of humiliation or kick him in the shins for denying my advances.

"Why be so chivalrous?! Act like the demon you are, King Urameshi!"

He surged forward, lingering above me, hand gripping beneath my chin to turn my head upwards. His eyes glowed with unholy color, the color of a muddy battlefield, the ground tainted with blood. It sent a rush through me thick with the tang of fear and desire. The alcohol would burn off soon. I would probably regret this.

But right now I didn't care.

"You don't want me to do that, Ettie," he rumbled. "Trust me."

When he let me go and made to leave, I curled my knees up towards my chest, and begged, "Please don't go."

He stopped not even halfway across the room, steps stumbling, as if I'd shocked him. He turned and pinned me with a stare that made me feel like he was tearing me open and taking a long look at my insides. I felt vulnerable.

"Please," I whispered again.

His face screwed up and he sighed, pulling his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the floor among my clothing. He climbed in beside me, sliding underneath the sheet and tugging me down until I was wrapped in his arms.

I felt his soft breaths ruffle my hair and burrowed deeper into his chest. Warm. When was the last time I felt warm?

"I don't know what's wrong and I won't force you to tell me, but don't think you gotta face it alone."

Kind. He could be so kind. And it astonished and fascinated me. I was unworthy of his friendship and his trust, yet here he was, in my bed with me pressed against him like a lover.

I began to speak before I even realized it. My voice, slurred and broken and ravaged spoke of my people in breathless whispers. Some of the story was swallowed up by his skin, pressing in there as if it could sink into his core. Where as the rest reached his ever listening ears.

"I come from across the sea, in a territory far in the North of demon world. The sea itself is perilous, nearly impossible to cross. It protects our people and hides us away from the three regions ruled by these lords who think themselves gods. We are primitive people, our ways old and ancient and forgotten. Coming to the main continent was a shock to the system. One that I never fully adjusted from.

I was banished long ago. I traveled...and traveled until I found Gandara and settled there. For several long years I worked under an experienced healer within the city...when Lord Yomi discovered me. I was already so addicted to the drugs by then I was frightened he meant to imprison me. But he cast a blind eye on my habits...and made me the healer for his armies instead."

"You...worked for Yomi, huh?"

I knew what he thought and quelled the worry before it could begin to fester. "Not for long. You see, an ancestor of Raizen issued a challenge—a tournament for one ruler over demon world. I was put to work as a healer for the event...and every one there after. I was lucky enough to witness the growth and strength of a future king. One I can respect. One I have been fortunate enough to call an ally."

"Ettie..."

"I am not of your people, Yusuke. Perhaps I shall always hold onto the old ways of mine. But please, always remember I hold the utmost respect and reverence for you..."

What I'd told him was more than I'd ever divulged to anyone. Even Lord Yomi. It was a slight lifting of weight, but enough that I was able to breathe just a bit easier. Even still, it reopened a wound. One that had been festering years before his birth.

My eyes dipped closed. Soon I would fall into rest. Thankful. I should be thankful my loose tongue would soon be silenced.

"Goodnight, Ettie..."

"Mm. Goodnight...Yusuke."

. . .

One week later—December 2003.

The morning after my little foray into dangerous territory was awkward to say the least.

I'd seen Yusuke less than a handful of times since then.

The Winter Solstice was upon us...and Christmas soon after that; a holiday the humans in Japan were rather fond of. I sat at work, a large paper bag beside me, filled with colorful paper wrapped packages. I rubbed at my face. My co-workers were throwing a Christmas party and the sounds of revelry filtered in through the locker room doors. The presents were for them.

But there were a few others I kept hidden in my locker. Ones I'd so painstakingly picked out and fretted over the past week. This would be the first year I bought gifts for...friends.

"Hiding?" Came a rather snide voice from the locker room's doorway.

"I could ask you the same," I said.

I looked up at Hiei and thought, well, I could knock one of them off my list. I stood and opened my locker, knowing his eyes were on me the entire time. I unearthed a manila folder, sealed and crisp. Hiei's name was scrawled across it's front in my messy penmanship.

I returned to my seat and held it out to him. "Here, for you."

He raised an eyebrow and sneered, as if I was offering him a literal pile of shit instead of a gift. "What is it?" he asked.

"Open it and find out, fool."

He stalked over to me, eyes wary, but took the folder and opened it with deft fingers. He tugged out the many papers and skimmed through them, brows drawing further down over his eyes with each one he flipped to.

"What the hell is this?" he hissed, looking up from the pages in his hands to stare at me with wide eyes.

Endearing, I thought, that look. It was nice to be able to surprise him for once.

"Everything you need to apply for advanced EMT training. So you can become certified," I said. "I'll help you study for the test, of course."

The papers were burnt to a crisp an instant later. "I have no need from some idiotic human schooling. I know enough to do the job."

I shook my head, sighing. "That isn't the point. The farce we were playing is long over. Yet you continue to work as if you belong here. You have no schooling, no medical background, and only the bare amounts of training to get you by."

"Your point?" he growled.

"I can't allow you to work here unless you are properly certified. Not anymore."

"Fine," he snarled. "I've grown bored of this anyway."

"That is unfortunate. You're a good asset to the team, Hiei. You have amazing potential. It's sad to waste it."

"I was never meant to save lives in the first place," he said.

He was gone, a black blur in the air, a moment later.

I printed out a new set of paperwork that night. Sealed them in another envelope. And joined my team in their festivities.

The next day, when Hiei stubbornly showed up for work anyway, as if it had grown to be a habit, I handed him the papers again.

This time he cut them in half with his sword.

The third time I handed him the papers he made a point to shred them to tiny bits right in front of me.

I came prepared the fourth time, with back up. And my back-up had brought back up. There was no way I would fail this time.

"You're certain this will work?" I asked Kuwabara, who stood beside me in the kitchenette at the station.

We were trying to be inconspicuous about spying on the two across the room, and failing.

"She won't fail, no way no how. She's the only person alive that can get Hiei to do exactly what she wants."

"Thank you for calling her."

"Listen, I thought this was crazy when you first came up with the idea. Didn't realize he'd end up so damn good at it. Midget likes his violence; seeing him patching people up is pretty weird."

"Yes, but its made him a better person."

Kuwabara shrugged. "Not sure about that, but he's definitely...different."

A few more minutes went by before the woman pulled Hiei into an embrace he wanted no part of and then turned to wink at Kuwabara.

"See, told you," he said. "Yukina has him wrapped around her finger."

The next day Hiei was enrolled into a proper EMT course. Much to his violent annoyance and unappreciative attitude. His classes would start after New Years and I made sure to stress my promise on helping him study, even though he flat out refused.

"I don't need the help of some addled brained moron," was what he'd said.

In which I'd replied, "Merry Christmas, Hiei."

. . .

Christmas Day—December 2003

The winter solstice had come and gone. This year I chose not to participate, not seeing a point. It was time to let go of some of the old ways; to perhaps start over fresh. Soon enough I would find the answers I was seeking and then return to the hole I crawled out of all those years ago.

Solace was all I wished for now. But none would be had until I could put my mind at ease.

"Ettie...?" the voice was soft, tentative.

I stared out Yusuke's largest window, a cup of cocoa clutched between my palms. I could see their reflection in the glass and thus did not turn around. I let a smile crack my otherwise expressionless face.

Yusuke was throwing a party for his friends and family. A Christmas party. One that I was loath to attend but after much begging and entreaties, I gave up and came along anyway. His apartment was done up in festive colors, real holly and mistletoe hung in periodic intervals. Poinsettias and ivy created wonderful wintry schemes along the tables and walls. The handiwork of Kurama.

Even Yukina had a hand in the decor—crystal ice figurines were spread around the tables as centerpieces, so cold they never melted.

Yusuke cooked all the food, with Kuwabara as his unwilling sou chef. And it was all so wonderful that it made me feel as if I was a damper on the crowd of guests.

Though perhaps I was not the only one, I thought, as I looked over to see Hiei scrunched in one of the windowsills, a forgotten glass of punch in one hand, the other resting on the hilt of his blade. I wondered if he was considering a massacre; the look on his face certainly spoke of thoughts of homicide.

Not realizing I'd lost myself so completely in thought, I shook my head and answered the woman behind me, "Yes, what can I do for you Yukina?"

I turned to give her my full attention. Her hair was long, mint colored, and held in a thick braid down her back. She fiddled with her fingers, as if nervous, but her eyes held a confidence her body lacked.

"I wanted to thank you," she said, "for everything you've done for my brother."

I raised an eyebrow and gave her a benign smile. "I have not done a thing, it was all him, I swear it."

She giggled, a sweet sound like tinkling bells. "I don't think that is true. He is...different, now."

"He was bound to come out of that repressive shell of his someday."

She smiled and then moved to stand beside me, turning her gaze to the window. Her face turned contemplative and she hummed softly, debating. "I fear this is very forward, but believe you will not take offense."

"Hm?"

"I think you should seek a relationship with Hiei. It would be beneficial to you both."

I choked on the sip of cocoa I'd just taken, clamping my lips together so I didn't spew it all over the glass. What had she just said? Surely my ears were mistaken!

I cleared my throat, trying to be respectful and not just outright laugh at such a notion. "You do realize Yusuke has staked some sort of claim to me, correct?"

She hid another smile behind her hand, brushing a loose piece of hair behind her ear with the other. "Oh yes, I believe most of us are aware of that. But you have not chosen him in return, have you?"

I was starting to think she enjoyed the drama. But I also knew Yukina was kind. She harbored an edge to her, one that was well hidden, but there. She was not so much different from her brother as the fire demon seemed to think.

"No, I have not," I replied.

"Then I would ask that you please consider it. He is a good man. A strong man. He would make a good partner."

"Of that I have no doubt," I said.

She gave me one final secretive smile and then returned to the rest of the party, being accosted by Kuwabara's older sister—Shizuru, I believe her name was.

I let the sounds of revelry drown out the thoughts that would swallow me whole and kept staring out the window. I wondered a moment later if it was a residual side effect to my newest dosage...or my eyes playing tricks...but I could have sworn I saw a raven.

A raven with great big wings and several eyes as red as Hiei's.

But when I blinked it was gone, as if it never was.

I felt a shudder go down my spine. It was impossible. I had not seen one such as that...in a very long time.

"What did Yukina want with you?" his voice held a dripping disdain, as if I would have tainted his sister just by speaking to her.

"She wished to thank me for taking a beast and making it into some semblance of a man."

His glare could have melted the glass of the window. But I only chuckled, finishing off my mug of cocoa. I think it was time I took my leave. Yusuke was avoiding me and I was avoiding him and Hiei was not the company I wished for right now.

But his hand connected with my wrist, a force that stopped me in my tracks. I turned to him with blank eyes and a pinched, displeased face. "Yes?"

He eyed me up and down, from the crown of my head to my slipper clad feet. I wondered what he saw—if I was just a junkie to him. A useless, disconnected member of demon world society. Someone who had defected and come to live with the humans because I belonged nowhere else.

Or perhaps he saw the desolate woman I'd become—a ghost of my former self.

"Who is Artair?"

The name came out mangled on his tongue, his speech so deeply ingrained in Japanese that it sound foreign and almost unfamiliar. But when it registered flames lapped at my ankles until they traveled up my legs, through my chest, and out through my mouth.

"Never speak that name from your hideous tongue again!"

My shout caused a silence to fall over the room. The heat of many stares made my face burn red. I wrenched my wrist out of Hiei's hold, not even caring to ask how he knew that name, where he had heard it. It must have been in a piece of the memories he so thoughtlessly pawed through while I was drowning.

I stormed out the door, not even stopping to slip my shoes back on my feet. I was half way down the stairs when I realized I still held the empty cocoa cup in my clutched fist. I was tempted to throw it, but knew Yusuke wouldn't appreciate it.

I almost resigned myself to bringing it back inside...or at least leaving it outside his door, when a voice thick with drunkenness changed my mind. "What was that all about?"

Yusuke stood at the top of the stairs, cheeks flushed from the consumption of spiked eggnog and punch. He was dressed handsomely, in nice slacks and a dark green dress shirt with a black tie looped around his collar. At some point he'd loosened it and popped the top button of the shirt open.

I suddenly felt the need to fan myself.

He took two steps down the stairs before I found my voice. "Oh, just a petty argument. Nothing unusual."

"Ya know, I've gotten pretty good at telling when you're lying."

For his sake I hoped that wasn't true. I took in a single breath and then climbed the remainder of the stairs to meet him halfway. I handed him back the mug. "Sorry, I took this with me by mistake."

He stared at it a moment, before reaching over and casually letting it drop from his fingers and over the railing. I heard it smash on the ground seconds later.

"There's something else I'd much rather be holding," he murmured. "You never gave me my Christmas present, Ettie."

I averted my eyes, the blush coming back full force. "You've been avoiding me."

"So you did get me one?"

"I didn't say that..."

He leaned in close, too close for comfort, and brushed his nose against my cheek as he leaned in to whisper in my ear. "Show it to me."

I placed a hand at his chest, intent on pushing him away, but he gripped it within one of his own and just drew me closer. One arm looped around my waist, the other dragged my palm up his chest and then around his neck.

"I...can't give you your gift like this," I said.

"Try," he breathed, nuzzling at my throat.

As commanded, I fumbled around for the leather satchel always perpetually at my side. Once I was able to open the flap, I slipped my fingers inside and dug around for Yusuke's wrapped gift.

I pulled out a square shaped package and only then did he put a small bit of distance between us. He plucked it from my fingers and shook it, a little grin on his face. He gave me a look, mischief in his gaze, before tearing into the paper. Beneath it was a drawing. He was the only person I'd ever gifted one to, especially one so complete.

It was awashed with color unlike my usual dark charcoal and graphite sketches. This one I'd taken the time to add paint and marker to, and then I placed it in a simple frame.

Yusuke released a shuddering breath, running his fingers over the glass with pure reverence.

"When the hell did you do this?" he mumbled, talking more to himself than he was me.

"Awhile ago, one time when you slept over. But I added the color later."

And then he was laughing...but it wasn't a happy laughter. It was cynical and sad and his face almost seemed angry, twisted with hurt the way it was.

The drawing was of him. Of course it was of him. I'd started mindlessly sketching him in his sleep one night. He'd been sprawled out across my mattress as if he belonged there. And I'd seen a face so beautiful and content and peaceful that I could do nothing other than draw it. I didn't know if I would ever see it again.

Yusuke's strange habit of occasionally sleeping over ever since the night of my bender had done me no favors.

Later, I considered throwing it out. But then recalled how much he loved my drawings.

So I took that sleeping face and painted a gorgeous dark starry background, and colored his markings a deep royal blue, and added a rosiness to his cheeks. I spent a ridiculous amount of time on perfecting the hand that'd been resting by his face and the way his lips were just sightly parted.

And now I realized what made him react so poorly.

I'd put so much careful and loving dedication into this drawing that it was one of the best I'd ever produced.

And it was also a disgustingly blatant display of what I was bitterly beginning to feel for the king of demon world.

"Why are you doing this, Etternia?"

The use of my full name was like a blow. I flinched, turning my head away as if he'd physically slapped me. I didn't know how to answer him. I hadn't meant to do it. I should have considered his feelings before deciding on giving him such a gift. But, as Hiei liked to so often point out, I spent ninety percent of my time influenced in someway by the drugs.

"I'm sorry, Yusuke. I can take it back."

I reached out to do just that, but he snapped the frame away from me, holding it behind his back. "Don't touch it."

And then he sighed, arms falling to his sides, as if he was giving up. "My buzz wore off. I need to go. Catch ya later."

He began to trek back up the staircase, leaving me at a loss for proper words. No apology would suffice. He wouldn't want it even if I tried.

"Wait, Yusuke—!"

But he did not stop, he only lifted the hand still holding the drawing and waved at me from behind. A clear dismissal.

I watched him go, not giving chase, feeling weary straight to my bones.

This game I was in the midst of...was becoming dangerous.

It was due time for me to form a new strategy.

I only hoped I was not too late.

. . .

A/N: Poor Yu, I feel awful torturing him like this. And sweet, innocent Yukina, making such a suggestion xD I hope you all liked this chapter! I see many people rooting for Yusuke in the comments, but Hiei still has a major chance here too. Who do you think she'll end up with? ;)

Thank you to everyone for your continued support and the awesome comments! Also, make sure to check out The Shotgun Approach playlist on Spotify! It features all the music that inspires the chapters to this fic!