AN: This is funny, so I thought I would share it. As some of you know, Ignus Dracorex and I write several chapters in advance. Since we live quite a way away from each other, we use an online document through Google docs. While I was writing chapter 165 last night, the document informed me it could not save. Turns out the story is too long for the Google Drive to handle so we had to split it and transfer this arc to a new document. The really funny part is that we only planned for this story to be a few, nice, concise arcs and then it would be done. Now the story is too big for the internet cache. XD
Sasuke is finally allowed to sit up in bed. Her arm is still in a sling, and her leg is still in a cast, but she is down to just bandages around her torso. After so long lying on her back and getting turned over every so often to prevent bedsores, being able to sit up and move a little is like heaven to Sasuke. She still gets bored as soon as the novelty wears off, though. But, hey: she can stare out the window into the hospital courtyard now.
Wait…
Sasuke sits up a little straighter. Is that Eizo toddling across the hospital courtyard? What is he doing down there? Why isn't there anyone with him? Sasuke watches Eizo like a hawk as the toddler crosses the hospital courtyard and disappears inside. A harrowingly long time later, a triumphant Eizo bursts into Sasuke's hospital room, a huge grin plastered on his face and a bundle of scrunched up newspapers under his arm.
"Eizo!" scolds Sasuke. "What are you doing here all by yourself?"
"I climb stairs!" announces Eizo. "I come play with Pretty Big Sister!"
"Um… does anyone know you're here?" Sasuke is worried that her parents are freaking out right about now.
"No! I sneak like ninja!" Eizo marches up to Sasuke's bed. "Pirates!" he says, slapping his bundle on Sasuke's bed then climbing up beside it. Eizo sits beside Sasuke, his legs folded under him and his feet sticking out on either side of his bottom. Eizo unfolds his newspaper, revealing two paper hats and two wooden swords. Eizo puts one hat on his own head and holds the other hat out to Sasuke. "Pirate hat," he says, grinning.
"No," Sasuke refuses.
"Pirate Hat!" growls Eizo, aggressively jamming the paper hat down on Sasuke's head. Then he shoves one of the wooden swords into Sasuke's uninjured hand and says, "Pirate sword."
Realizing her brother has her trapped, Sasuke sighs and resigns herself to her fate. "Fine, I'll be a pirate."
Eizo picks up his sword and runs to the end of Sasuke's bed. "Pirate ship!" he yells. "YOHOHOHO!"
"Um...yohoho?" Sasuke holds up her sword, glad that no one is watching.
Shisui has a letter. It just arrived by messenger hawk, and has the Hokage's seal on it. Shisui looks afraid to open it, but Iruka, sensing great fun, encourages Shisui to open his letter. Nervously, Shisui unrolls the letter scroll and stares at it. A moment later, he drops the scroll and tries to run away. A cloud of glitter explodes out of the scroll, enveloping Shisui. Shisui shunshins away, but the glitter sticks to him. Then the glitter starts exploding, and Iruka starts laughing. The tiny, pin-prick explosions barely do any damage, but Shisui panics and starts yelling and trying to brush off the glitter before it can explode.
Iruka, seeing that Shisui is in no real danger, goes back to studying the Caged Bird Seal. The practice scroll is spread out on the grass in front of Iruka, waiting for someone to remove the seal from it. But so far, all attempts to remove the seal have ended in failure that would have spelled death for the person wearing the seal had it been on a person rather than a scroll. Iruka beins work on his new idea of how to remove the seal. He draws a sequence of seal designs around the caged bird seal, creating a counter seal. Then Iruka activates the counter seal and attempts to remove the Caged Bird Seal from the test scroll.
The seal begins to work, unravelling the Caged bird seal. But the counter seal takes too much of Iruka's chakra, and he is forced to release the jutsu. The seal seems to be working, but Iruka will need help to use it. Where are Naruto and Pantsu?
Iruka looks around and sees Pantsu standing a short distance away, helping Arashi clean the mud off Neji and Burifu. Good grief, thinks Iruka. Someone should teach Neji that mud is not his mortal enemy. The poor boy is shaking and looks quite traumatized. Burifu, of course, is just as amused by the whole situation as Arashi and Pantsu.
Iruka wonders where Naruto is. He gets up and checks the Temple. He is not inside. None of the Order knows where he is either. Iruka, now feeling a bit worried, goes over to Burifu, who is now happily brushing Neji's hair. "Burifu," says Iruka, trying not to sound worried. "Do you know where Naruto is?"
Burifu puffs up her cheeks. "He's over there," she says, pointing to some thick shrubbery nearby. "He's been there for ages."
"Oh good," says Iruka. "He hasn't wandered too far away." Deciding to leave Naruto to do whatever he obviously does not want to be interrupted while doing, Iruka adds, "Come on, you two. It's lunch time."
Eizo is missing. Mikoto is about ready to break down and cry, but Fugaku has an idea of where he might be. "I think I know where he might be," Fugaku tells his wife in an effort to calm her down. "I'll just go check there. Stay here in case someone finds him and brings him home."
"Okay," agrees Mikoto, biting her knuckles with worry.
Fugaku heads to the hospital. Eizo probably went to visit Sasuke like he did the last time he wandered off on his own. When he arrives at the hospital, Fugaku heads straight up to Sasuke's room. Seeing that the door is open, Fugaku looks around the door to see if Eizo really is there and his heart melts.
Eizo is there. Eizo and Sasuke both have newspaper hats on their heads and wooden swords in their hands. Eizo is standing on the end of Sasuke's hospital bed, holding his sword high. "PIRATE SHIP!" Eizo yells, bouncing up and down on the bed. He hangs onto the bed rail for balance, even though his feet never actually leave the bed.
"ARRGGHH!" Sasuke yells, a fierce look on her face, waving the sword over her head. "DOWN WITH THE NAVY!"
"FIRE CANNON!" Eizo yells, bouncing excitedly.
Sasuke starts making explosion noises and Eizo cheers heartily. Fugaku grins and runs over to the bed. He snatches up Eizo and says, "The Navy has captured you!"
"NOOOO!" screams Eizo.
"Dad!" squeeks Sasuke, blushing and dropping the wooden sword.
"Runaway pirates must be punished!" says Fugaku, holding Eizo up so they are at eye-level with each other. "I sentence you to nap time!"
"No nap!" protests Eizo.
Sasuke drops back onto her hospital bed. She looks very tired.
"I think you need a nap too," says Fugaku, smiling. "Can't let you off the hook for aiding and abetting."
Sasuke glares at Fugaku.
Fugaku takes the newspaper hat off Sasuke's head and picks up the wooden sword lying beside her. "I'll take these. You probably don't want them, do you?"
Sasuke pulls a face and shakes her head.
"Pretty Big sister play more!" says Eizo, tugging at Fugaku's shirt.
"No, you and big sister both need to take naps," says Fugaku. "That's what happens to pirates who get caught by the navy."
Naruto wipes the tears out of his eyes. "You had such a hard life!" he cries. "It must've been so lonely inside those jinchuuriki with no one to talk to, 'tebayo!"
"Okay, you've heard my story," growls Mr. Kurama. "Now go away!"
"But you haven't heard MY backstory yet!" says Naruto. "I wanna swap back stories-"
"I already know your life story!" growls Mr. Kurama. "I was there for your whole life!"
Naruto gasps. He never really realized that before. "That's right, you were!" he says, grinning excitedly and running up to the bars of Mr. Kurama's cage. "You've always been there for me! You're like a...a guardian angel, 'ttebayo!"
"I AM NOT YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL!" roars Kurama, flipping Naruto off.
Naruto leaves the seal and runs off to find his Grandpa. "GRANDPA!" he yells when he sees his Grandpa. "Mr. Kurama's being mean to me!"
OI! Growls Mr. Kurama from inside the seal. Don't tell on me!
Naruto's Grandpa stares at him, an astonished expression on his face. "Kurama?" he says. "Isn't Kurama the patron of healers and gardeners?"
Oh good, says Mr. Kurama. My followers are still around.
"He's also Mr. Nine Tails!" wines Naruto. "And he's being mean to me! He pulled the finger at me and said he's not my guardian angel!"
Naruto's grandpa laughs.
"What's so funny, 'tebayo?" demands Naruto, scowling.
"Never mind," giggles Naruto's grandpa. "Now come and have some lunch. Iruka says he needs your help to test a method of removing the Caged Bird Seal afterwards. You can befriend Kurama later."
"Yes, Grandpa," sighs Naruto.
I'm going back to sleep, says Mr. Kurama.