A/N: Hi, everyone. I'm finally back! Sorry my hiatus was super long but I will try to update as much as I can when I can. Also, apologies in advance for the shortness of this chapter. I just wanted to post something asap and try to get back into the swing of things. Enjoy!
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CH 23- C'est La Vie
TWENTY-THREE
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The wind outside had picked up tremendously in the last few days, bringing with it the beginning of autumn. The leaves had not fallen from the trees but slowly and surely the colors were subtly changing, bringing forth a vivacious vibe to the suburbs of Boston. There was a sense of peace in the neighborhood that could be found anywhere, except in the Winters-Peyser home.
The house was a horrendous and eye sore of a mess. Toys were scattered on the living room floor, a basket of dirty laundry sat forgotten on the sofa; clothes spread across the arm rest and littered around the floor. Dinner had not been made and yet there were still dirty dishes from the early morning. The radio was still playing without an audience, almost forgotten like the toys out in the yard or the junk mail tossed aside on the entryway dresser.
A little defiant voice emerged from the hallway and ran out into the living room like a flash of lightning. "No! No! No!" The almost two-year-old ran around in a full circle, bright eyed and bushy tailed; in only his diaper. He had managed to squirm out of his room in a fit as soon as he saw his mother running the bath water. It was always such a hassle to get the kind into the bathtub. He'd run a muck like a rancid little monkey if he could. Well, for one, his mother would not allow it.
Huffing with messy hair, Lana appeared into the living room. "Johnny Benjamin Winters. You get back here this instant." She ordered with her last breath of patience.
Johnny looked back at her with a defiant glance. He was getting closer to his second birthday and Lana was just not prepared for the rambunctious and headstrong attitude he was obtaining. She knew it was bound to happen but truth be told, she was not ready. She was not ready for any of it.
It had been a rough morning, a rough afternoon and a rough evening. Lana was already ready for a glass of wine or two. Maybe three. No one mentioned to her how much of a difficulty toddlers could be or how quickly patience wore thin when little people would just not listen. Not even journalism left her exhausted the way chasing a two year old did. It was like wrangling monkeys, Wendy would say.
Babies were far different than toddlers. Toddlers could run.
"No!"
Lana stood across from him. "No? Is that right?"
Johnny cackled like a little villain knowing how well he could push her buttons. He was usually a well behaved boy when his other mother was around but now he had gained a sense of mischief that Lana blamed on the little piece of apple candy she stupidly allowed him to have.
"Oh, so that's funny to you?" She asked him, almost wanting to laugh herself.
"Fuh-ee!" He repeated with a little grin that reminded Lana of Oliver.
She truly hated those moments, deep inside. The moments where the precious little boy reminded her of the ruthless monster she had put underground with her own hands. Johnny had plenty of Oliver's facial features, perhaps even some of his quirks (at least in her head he did) but what she feared most late in the night when her eyes were wide awake, was that he would inherit Thredson's mental state.
Lana faked a heavy sigh, "Okay, that's fine. Have it your way." She turned her heels and pretended to walk away.
Johnny's little smile faded as quick as a puff of smoke and he took a step forth, lifting his little head to see if he could spot his mother down the hall. "Mum-ee…" he softly murmured as his lower lip pouted out and trembled.
When Lana didn't return within seconds, a lump formed in Johnny's throat and he ran into the hall after her, crying out for her.
Lana stood against the wall, down the hall by the bedroom waiting for him. "Yeah, I thought so." She said when he crashed against her legs, crying into her pajama pants.
Johnny lifted his arms up to be picked up and Lana obliged. "You didn't like that did you?"
He cried something incoherent, rubbing his eyes with both hands.
"See? That's why you listen to your mother." She took him into the bathroom where they continued his bath.
Wendy had left for a Back to School Night to meet with her student's parents, leaving Lana all alone with the little monster. Lana had originally planned to put him down early and get some work done but that plan had gone out the window when Johnny napped an extra hour that afternoon.
Johnny splashed the water with his little palms, splashing Lana, wetting her clothes in the process. She closed her eyes and sighed. At least it was water. "Oh, you chose the perfect night to act up, didn't you?"
He babbled again, he babbled a lot. Lana worried he would need speech therapy but Wendy tried to deny it. The boy could talk just fine for his age, he just often refused to, Wendy claimed. However, Lana thought he mumbled too much and should have learned more words by his age. Johnny grabbed one of his toys and submerging it into the water. He liked to watch it pop back up with a tiny splash.
"I don't know what I would do if we didn't have your Mama. You're impossible, little one."
Johnny glanced up, looking towards the bathroom door in hopes of seeing Wendy.
"Mama's at work. She'll be home soon." Lana reassured him. "Can you say, Mama?"
Johnny stared at her, lips sealed.
"Come on, I know you can."
Johnny just looked back to his toy and continued to play.
Lana sighed, wiping a lock of wet hair out of Johnny's face, "You need to talk sometime, baby boy. Your words are important."
Johnny glanced up at Lana and pointed at her, "Muh-me."
"Yes, I'm Mommy. What's your name?"
"Joh-nee." He looked back down to his toy.
"Good boy. That's right, you are Johnny." Lana smiled in relief. Perhaps she just worried too much.
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After his bath, Lana dressed the little boy and took him to bed with her. It was well past eight o'clock and Wendy was yet to be home. Lana became worried until she mentioned possibly getting a drink with her co-workers after. Lana was a bit annoyed at the passer by mention while Wendy gathered her things earlier that evening and went out the door. A night out would be nice too, Lana thought.
Instead she was at home reading Goodnight Moon over and over.
Johnny passed out on Wendy's side of the bed. Lana watched him sleep for a moment while she took her eyes off the notes she had been reviewing for work purposes. She noticed how his facial features were changing ever so slightly but yet so rapidly. He was leaving behind any hint of baby chubbiness and replacing it with the features of a little boy.
The older he got the more he resembled, not only her, but Oliver as well. Lana thought that within time she would forget every single detail of Thredson's face but the image of him remained stern and ever so present in her thoughts and in her nightmares.
Lana knew Wendy noticed Johnny's shared features too. However, Oliver Thredson was a non spoken matter in their home. They hadn't agreed upon it out loud, it was just known. They hadn't even fully discussed in detail what they would tell Johnny about the man that helped bring him to life. As far as Lana was concerned, the boy had no father. He wasn't the first not to have one and he sure as hell wouldn't be the last.
Still, seeing him sleeping so sweetly and innocently made Lana feel for him. He carried a burden so heavy it was too cruel to imagine.
Wendy came home shortly before ten o'clock. She had stayed behind to catch up with her fellow teachers but hadn't accompanied them for drinks. She crawled into bed with Lana and Johnny who didn't budge awake when he was scooted to the middle of the bed.
If anything, he scrambled closer to Lana, clutching onto her in his sleep. It was as if he could sense her warmth. Wendy liked to think that Johnny didn't have favorites. Of course he knew the difference between his mothers and what he could get away with when it came to each of them. Wendy was always more lenient with him. She had a hard time saying no to him and always spoiled him rotten. Johnny always stuck to her like glue but if he woke in the middle of the night, it was Lana he wanted. They had a bond that had been molded in iron since birth. One far different than the one she had with him. Perhaps it was because Lana carried him to term, or maybe because she was the one that breast fed him for the first months of his life. Whatever the case, Wendy knew it was there.
Wendy tried not to resent Lana for the boy's feelings. She was sure even a mother and father held different roles in a child's favoritism. And at the end of the day, he needed them both the same.
"How was back to school night?" Lana asked softly in the darkness of their room.
Wendy settled into the bed, head upon the pillow, eyes on the ceiling. "It went as well as it could have."
"No complaints?"
"Not yet. I mean, there's a mom who I know by now will be a pain in my ass later in the year but aside from that I have none." They spoke in hush tones.
"Well, they can't all be winners now, can they?"
Wendy rolled to her side, "And how was our little future student today?"
Lana faced her, "He was fine." She fibbed, not wanting to worry her. She knew Wendy would feel guilty for abandoning them momentarily and besides, it hadn't been the worst of Johnny's nights.
"Well, that's good." Wendy softly caressed the back of Johnny's head. "His hair is getting a little long. Should we cut it soon?"
"He'll look much older."
Wendy smiled, "Well, we can't have that, now can we?"
Lana bit back a laugh but her smile was bright enough to see in the darkness.
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Johnny squirmed in his high chair, whining and reaching out for the spoon in Wendy's hand. It was Saturday morning and the whole family was home.
"Johnny, if you want something, use your words." Wendy reminded him.
Johnny whined again, a defiant look on his face. "Me." he managed to mumble.
"Okay, big boy. Here you go." Wendy handed him the spoon and sighed, "When did you get so big?"
"The day he started walking and broke my grandmother's crystal figurine." Lana said as she sauntered into the kitchen. "I'm writing that on your tab, little boy." She looked at Johnny. "That tab must be paid at eighteen."
Wendy laughed. "Lana, don't even joke about it." She and Lana kissed in front of the boy who didn't even mind and continued to eat with his spoon.
"Good job, baby." Lana gave Wendy one more kiss and went to pour herself some coffee.
Johnny repeated gibberish as if mimicking after her.
Wendy stood, "So, any thoughts on what we're going to do for his…" She glanced back at the boy.
"For his what?" Lana asked.
"B-i-r-t-h-d-a-y."
"I can't believe you had to spell that." Lana took a drink from her coffee mug.
Wendy rolled her eyes, "I want it to be a surprise."
"Wendy, "I'm pretty sure he's not fully aware of what a birthday even is."
"Lana! Will you humor me?"
"Okay, okay, sorry. What did you have in mind?" Lana glanced over at Johnny who had begun to spoon feed himself.
"I'm not sure. Do you think a birthday party would be appropriate?"
"I mean as much as I think that would be enjoyable for him, how many other two year olds do we know?"
Wendy frowned at this. "Good point."
"We can't really have a party for a bunch of lesbians. I mean, we could but how would that look in the photo book?"
Wendy almost laughed at the thought. "Okay, inviting only our friends to a child's birthday party is a little...unfair for him. I get that."
"We could take him to the zoo? I hear the drive to New York is quite nice."
"Is the for you or is that for him?"
"Darn. You got me." Lana teased a smile.
Wendy sighed, "Well, we have to think of something. I can invite my-"
"Don't you dare say your mother." Lana warned her before Wendy could finish the sentence.
Wendy sighed. "Lana."
"No. I won't have it." Lana passed her, taking the spoon from Johnny who had now begun to make a mess of his oatmeal. "I won't have that woman around my son."
"Your son?" Wendy snapped the question.
"Wendy, you know what I mean."
"Lana, she's my mother."
"But she's nothing to him. She doesn't even like him."
"That's not true!" Wendy retorted.
"Wendy, she's not his grandmother!" Lana snapped, silencing their small argument.
Wendy backed off and quickly looked away, hurt began to fill her eyes. Lana regretted her words right away but it was the truth. "Wendy-"
Wendy put her hand up. "No. Don't Lana. Just don't." And with only that she left the kitchen in cold silence.
Lana stood behind, sighing heavily to herself. "Shit."
"Sh!" Johnny attempted to mimic.
"Oh, great." She rolled her eyes, "Just my luck."