Set in mid season 9
(Between 9x06 - 9x07)
Our coming of age has come and gone
Suddenly this summer it's clear
I never had the courage of my convictions
As long as danger is near
And it's just around the corner, Darling
'Cause it lives in me
No, I could never give you peace
Keys dangle outside of the apartment. It's a quarter to ten in the evening, a little earlier than she expected him to arrive home. He enters his condo and sighs as he closes the door behind him.
She's sitting in her loungewear on his couch by the fireplace, something he never gets tired of seeing. He loves the contrast of the black leather and her red hair, so he stands by the kitchen counter just admiring the view.
"Hey." She says without looking up from the book she's reading.
"Hey."
"Your dinner is in the oven."
"Thanks."
Then silence. That doesn't usually bother her but there's something different about his aura tonight so she tears her eyes away from the novel on her lap and turns to him.
She asks, "Is something wrong?"
"Just a long day." He answers.
"We've had an awful lot of those for weeks now."
He walks over to the couch and sits beside her. "If you don't mind, I'll just rest here for a while, I don't feel like eating yet."
"Suit yourself." She brings her attention back to her book and silence fills the air again.
He leans back on the couch, he shuts his eyes and allows himself to relax but then memories of his recent fight with Mike and disagreements with Faye forbid him to. Harvey has done a lot of shady things throughout his entire career, and some have come back to bite him in the ass but he has never been this stressed in his entire life. The amount of work that has been piling up and his effort to build the firm's reputation back to what it once was while having the antichrist as a boss isn't helping him. It's a good thing he's a big boy, he can handle anything.
He looks to his right, sees his girlfriend peacefully immersing herself into a world of fiction, and suddenly he can breathe again. He loves how much her presence makes him forget about how hard his day has been. But then he gets to thinking, he never really asked her how she's handling the whole Faye situation. Sure, they've talked about improving their communication and trusting each other about everything that goes on in their daily lives but this is different.
He knows his profession is tough, hers isn't any easier too. Donna is strong, independent, and smart, he loves that about her. But he also knows that she, too, can be sensitive. She has complained about Faye multiple times but he never once witnessed her breakdown about it. He's not sure if the situation doesn't stress her out the way it's been stressing him out or if she's just really good at hiding it.
He studies her face and notices very faint lines along her forehead and subtle bags under her eyes. Not that it makes her any less beautiful, no. It just confirms his theory that it has been stressing her out too. Now he starts thinking about the future and what would happen to her after this whole show with Faye ends. Given the amount of bullshit he gets everyday, would she be able to handle it?
You know that I'd swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
Give you my wild
Give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
"Can I ask you something?"
She glances at him then back to the book, "Anything."
"Does it bother you?"
"What does?"
He takes a deep breath, "The load of shit I get on a daily basis."
She tosses the book aside, "If you're talking about Faye, we all get a load of shit from her on a daily basis."
He sits up straighter and leans forward, resting his arms on his legs, "I'm not just talking about Faye, Donna. It's everything."
"What do you mean?" She tucks a leg under herself and adjusts her body to face him.
"The lawyers I go up against, the angry clients, Mike,-"
"Harvey, I don't like where this is going." She furrows her brows. She doesn't know what has gotten into him, this conversation is basically coming out of nowhere.
His right leg shakes, something he only does when he's anxious. This makes Donna nervous. He shakes his head a little before turning to her, face long, and voice vulnerable, "I make more enemies than friends. People loathe me-"
"They respect you." She interrupts.
"They loathe me." he repeats, voice firmer this time. "I just need to know if it's too much for you to handle."
She slouches, "Harvey, we've been going through this for about thirteen years now, what makes this time any different?"
He gives her a look and her eyes widen as she gets it. They're together now. She has to keep reminding herself that. All his decisions now have to be made with her in mind. But it's still not different from when they weren't together, this is just Harvey being protective of her, he always has been.
But there's robbers to the east
Clowns to the west
I'd give you my sunshine
Give you my best
But the rain is always gonna come
If you're standing with me
"People are gonna keep coming after me, Donna, bad people. They're gonna be coming from left and right. Some will even go to great lengths to drag you into the mess and now that we're together, I wanna know how much of that you can take." He says, "There's only so much I can control and protect you from."
Her heart flutters but aches at the same time. He should be worrying about the firm, and not her, but for a long time now, Harvey's top priority hasn't been the firm or his career.
Her face softens and so does her voice, "Harvey, I know who I'm with. I know what I got myself into, I've known since thirteen years ago. I also know what kind of man you are."
"What if that's not enough?" he pauses, "Donna, I've already lost so much and this," he grabs her hand and squeezes it, "this is something I can't lose."
She squeezes his hand back and assures him, "You won't lose me, Harvey. I can promise you that."
When Harvey is with Donna, he becomes the best version of himself, the man he thought he could never live up to. So he wakes up everyday trying to be the man that is worthy of her, that deserves her, little does he know he doesn't even have to try.
He signals her to scoot closer to him and she does, "You know that I'd never let anything happen to you, to us, right?"
"Of course I know that." She smiles.
"Good."
"Good."
She leans in to place a long kiss on his lips, no ulterior motives, just to let him know how much she appreciates and loves him.
She pulls away, "You're stuck with me too, you know." She tilts her head to the side, hoping that he also knows what he has gotten himself into. "Would you be able to handle that?"
He laughs, "I wouldn't have it any other way, I'm in this for the long run."
"You better be." She chuckles then rests her head on his shoulder.
His arm snakes around her and rubs her arm. "I'm serious, Donna. As long as you're with me, our lives would never be peaceful." He says, tone sadder than he intended, it almost sounds like an apology.
"And I'm telling you for the hundredth time that I don't mind." She smiles, "You might not be able to give me peace but I can sure as hell give it to you."
He pulls her closer to place a kiss on her hair, thanking every lucky star and spiritual being for the woman in his arms. His very own safe haven.
And that's exactly what she does, he comes home to his refuge and he instantly forgets why he was stressed in the first place. There are times when he feels guilty about it again, but he reminds himself that she's here and she's not going away. He keeps telling himself he'll finally make it up to her one day, he just needs a chance.
So when Mike offered a job on the west coast a couple weeks later, Harvey took it as a sign of things to come, the opportunity he has being waiting for. A new life, a fresh start, away from the enemies and corporate douchebags of New York City. This time he gets to actually do some good, reunite with Mike, and give Donna the one thing he thought he could never give her; Peace.
But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think love's for show
But I would die for you in secret
The devil's in the details but you got a friend in me
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?