IMPORTANT AN: Hey guys Ignus here, again just a heads up that this chapter is rated M due to sexual references.
Shisui, Iruka and Naruto make a campfire from the broken puppets, keeping a few of the more intact ones aside and sealing them away with Sasori's core. While they are doing that, Neji and Burifu spread out bedrolls for Naruto's Grandpa, Gramps Pants and Burifu. Iruka helps Neji move Gramps Pants onto their bedrolls. Burifu devours some food and then starfishes face-down on her bedroll.
"Team meeting while they are all out," says Iruka, motioning Naruto, Shisui and Neji over. Once the team is assembled, Iruka-nii continues, "While we are here we need to return the scrolls I took from the Temple of Joe last time I was here. I do not know how often the Order of Joe comes by, but with Sasori dead, they are sure to come here soon. If they appear while we are here, we need to be cautious of them. They are the most terrifying of the four shinigami cults, and the only one founded by two people rather than one. The Order of Joe was founded by a pair of siblings, one of whom was considered a rogue ninja."
"So were they brothers, sisters or brother and sister?" asks Naruto, interested in this particular history lesson.
"Brother and sister," says Iruka-nii, looking mildly disturbed. "They founded the Order of Joe because they didn't agree that siblings shouldn't be romantically involved. They are still alive and have many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. They have no rules about who can be with who in the Order of Joe, and no one really knows who their father is, only their mother. None of them wear a lot of clothes, and all of them are insane. If you meet them, you will notice that most of them have deformities of some kind."
"So they are all deformed, incestious bastards, then?" says Neji, a mildly horrified expression on his face.
"Did someone call us?" says a voice from the direction that none of the team is currently looking.
Naruto and his team turn to face the person who spoke. They see five people standing in the ruins not far away. They all have red hair like Gramps Pants and Burifu, but they look off somehow. It takes naruto a moment to realize why that is, but then he sees that one has a twisted foot, one has a wonky face and a third is almost unnaturally short. The other two seem kinda pale and sick, but that could just be Naruto's imagination. Either way, they all creep Naruto out.
"Hello," says Iruka cautiously.
Neji and Shisui both reach for their kunai pouches. It seems Neji is all out of chakra for his byakugan, and Shisui is low on sharingan juice. That green rib cage must've drained him a lot. Naruto feels a bit drained himself, come to think of it.
"Hello," says the one with the lopsided face, smiling in a way that sends shivers up Naruto's spine. "We are from the Order of Joe. We have come to thank you for freeing our temple from that puppet monster for us. We would be honoured if you would all join the Order of Joe."
"No can do, sorry," says Iruka-nii. "We are all in the Order of Steve."
Lopsided Face Man drops the smile, a frown twisting his features even more. "Oh, that is unfortunate." One of the others whispers something in Lopsided Face Man's ear. Lopsided Face Man's Face brightens. "Then allow us to make much sweet love to you all in the Temple of Joe."
"No thank you," says Iruka-nii, blushing bright red. "I have made love in the Temple of Joe before, and I don't want to do it again unless it's with the same person…" Iruka-nii stops abruptly and goes even redder.
"Then let's just do it right here," says Crooked Foot, slamming her fist into her palm with a grin. "Come over here, Nose Scar so I can love you."
"Can I have the Uchiha?" asks the other girl in the group.
"NONONONO!" Shisui protests, taking a few steps backwards and pulling out a kunai. "I have a girlfriend, and she's having a baby soon!"
"Pfft, so? We don't care about that stuff."
Naruto to starts to feel scared. These people seems awfully intent on the sex stuff. Naruto takes a step closer to Iruka-nii. What makes these people even weirder is that none of them are wearing any clothes, just leaves where undies should be. Even the Order of Steve knows to dress themselves, and they live at one with nature. Naruto is trying not to think about the girls in the group, since they are not as nice to look at as his sexy jutsu.
"The best way you can thank us for helping you is to leave us in peace," says Neji, who looks just as scared as Naruto.
"Don't be silly," says the short man. "We want to thank you by loving you, and there's not a lot you can do to stop us-"
"Back off, cultist scum." A man dressed in red appears in a swirl of leaves. He stands in the taijutsu stance Lee uses. The nine strips of cloth that make up the bottom of his tunic flap about him. His sleeves and sandals are as black as his hair. And his dark eyes burn a cold like ice. "These people said 'no'."
"Just who do you think you are?" demands Lopsided Face Man.
"I am Sei Myoujina," says the man, charging up his chakra. But his chakra feels strange, more pure and light than normal chakra.
NARUTO! Kurama roars, an excitement in his voice that Naruto has never heard from Kurama before. He's one of my guards! The protectors my father gave me! HE'S USING NINSHUU!
Awesome, says Naruto. "Guys," says Naruto to his team. "We can trust this guy. He's cool."
"Do you know him?" asks Iruka-nii, surprised.
"Nope, but I have a friend who will vouch for him, dattebayo." Naruto stands up a little straighter. He's not scared anymore. Kurama's Guard will protect them.
Sei spreads his finger apart and stretches his arms out to either side. "From life comes new life," he says softly, as if he is reciting a well learned lesson. "Chakra is life, and chakra is death." He kneels down on one knee and places his hands on the ground. "The earth holds life within it, and humans hold chakra within them." He looks down and starts pumping the strange chakra into the ground. The plants around Sei begin to grow unnaturally fast, and the dead ones spring back to life. Vines wrap themselves around the five member of the Order of Joe. "So long as I share my life with the earth around me, the whole world is my ally."
That's my Guards' version of a ninja way! Says Kurama excitedly.
It's based on how your chakra is full of life and healing stuff, right, 'tebbayo? Replies Naruto.
Exactly! Kurama is really excited. Once he's dealt with those imbeciles, get him in here. I want to meet him face to face.
You got it, 'tebayo!
"Get out of here," orders Sei, and the plants he is controlling throw the five Joeists across the ruined village.
The Joeist scramble to their feet and run away, back into the forest where they came from.
"Joe's followers are not nearly as cool as Joe," comments Naruto, rolling his eyes. "Next time Joe argues with another shinigami over whose followers are better, I am gonna tell Joe his followers suck and are creepy and disturbing."
"You said it," says Iruka-nii, letting out a shuddering breath. "Who are you, really, Sei Myoujina?" he asks Sei.
"Just a passing healer collecting herbs to save a dying person's life," says Sei, smiling politely. He walks steadily over to some nearby rubble and picks up a basket full of the herbs that grow all over the ruins of the Whirlpool. "The Hidden Whirlpool is full of healing herbs and rare plants that are difficult to find in the wild, so myself and my comrades often come here to collect them. We made it clear to Sasori that we only come here for the herbs. We used to trade the Whirlpool Shinobi for them, but now the village is in ruins, so we collect what we need ourselves."
"Are you aware that Sasori destroyed the Hidden Whirlpool?" asks Iruka.
"No, I was not aware of that," sighs Sei, heading back over to them. "Now I suggest you leave this place as soon as you can. Order of Joe does not give up easily. They will be back very soon, and with as many of the Order as can fight. They are not a challenge in such small numbers as before, but you are all tired from your fight, and I must be going. I will help you out a bit with first aid, but I cannot stay long. You must leave when I do."
"We have a mission to complete here," says Iruka. "We cannot leave until it is completed, or we will need to come back."
"Can you complete it while I treat your comrades?" asks Sei, kneeling down beside Gramps Pants and Naruto's Grandpa.
"I can complete part of it," says Iruka-nii. "But the rest we need Arashi for." He points to Naruto's Grandpa. "That's Arashi, there."
"I will heal him first, then," says Sei.
"Um, Mr. Sei?" says Naruto, interrupting. He knows it's rude, but Kurama is getting antsy about waiting so long.
"Yes, child?" replies Sei, looking up at Naruto. "Is there something you want to ask me?"
"Well, no, um...it's more that I'm Kurama's jinchuuriki, and he wants to meet you, dattebayo," says Naruto, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "It's been ages since he's seen any of his guards."