"Hello sweetie," says Mikoto, kissing Sasuke's forehead before Sasuke can dodge out of the way. "I brought you some rice balls." Mikoto drops the bento box she is carrying into Sasuke's lap.
"Thanks Mum," says Sasuke, smiling a little smile. She opens the box and starts chomping down the rice balls.
"Well, Itachi is officially pissed off at me," says Mikoto, grinning. "She has not come out of her room yet today, even though many people have called to congratulate her that she is having a boy."
Sasuke gwaffs into her riceball. "What traps did Dad send Shisui?"
"He wouldn't say, just that they are not deadly," says Mikoto. She would quite like to know what the f*** Fugaku is sending Shisui. "Still, it will be interesting how he handles it once Shisui returns."
"When can I leave hospital?" asks Sasuke, glaring past Mikoto at the girl in the bed opposite Sasuke's.
"The doctors told me you can leave in a few days," says Mikoto, smiling. "You will need to be in a wheelchair for a while, though. You will also need to come back to the hospital every few days for check ups until you are healed enough to start physiotherapy."
"Oh," says Sasuke, stuffing more rice ball into her mouth.
"You'll probably get your first period while you're wheelchair bound," adds Mikoto, who thinks Sasuke is about due, based on how far she is through puberty.
Sasuke chokes on her riceball. "MUM!"
"You are going to be in a wheelchair for a long time," says Mikoto reasonably. "Technically, you should never be able to walk again, but Tsunade and Okami are miracle workers."
"That's not the point…!" Sasuke forces out through gritted teeth.
"I don't get mine yet," says one of the other girls in the room.
"I do!" says another.
"I have mine right now," says the third, cheerfully.
"You see, it's nothing to be ashamed of," says Mikoto, smiling because she knows that Sasuke is super embarrassed.
"Naruto," says Iruka-nii calmly. "Is this man one of the Nine Tails' Guards?"
"Yep," says Naruto, feeling a bit better now that he's got it all off his chest. "And Mr. Kurama wants to talk to Mr. Sei."
Just grab his arm and bring him in here! Demands Mr. Kurama. You can explain to the rest of your team later.
Naruto puts his hand on Sei's shoulder and pulls him into Kurama's seal. Once they are inside, Naruto drags Sei over to Kurama's cage. "Kurama is in here," says Naruto.
"It is rather dank and depressing in here," comments Sei.
"Well, um…" Naruto scratches the back of his head nervously.
"The brat has mental problems," says Mr. Kurama, sticking his nose between the bars of the cage. "This place reflects how he feels emotionally, and how I am a bit too. So you're one of my guards then? Nice to meet you."
"I am Sei Myoujina," Sei bows. "How are you, Lord Kurama?"
"Well apart from the fact I've been sealed away for over a hundred years in three different Uzumakis, pretty good," says Mr. Kurama. "At least this one actually gives a crap about me, and is somewhat polite when we talk."
"We're friends now, right, dattebayo?" interjects Naruto, wishing Mr. Kurama would be this nice to him.
"No," snaps Mr. Kurama. "Shut up, you!"
Sei sighs and waves a hand gracefully to one side. The leaky pipes on the wall stop leaking and some lights appear overhead. "That is the best I can do for now,," he says gravely. "The two of you need to see a psychologist about your...mental troubles."
Naruto tilts his head to one side a screws up his eyes. "What's a psychologist, 'tebayo?"
"It is a doctor for the mind," says Sei graciously. "When one is confused, or hurting inside in such a way a normal doctor cannot help, then one goes to see a doctor for the mind. Do you understand?"
"Is it like how sometimes you need miso ramen, and sometimes you need pork ramen, 'tebayo?" asks Naruto.
"Exactly," says Sei, noding ever so slightly. "We all have different needs at different times. Sometimes you are thirsty, sometimes you are hungry, sometimes you just need the right kind of ramen."
"Okay," says Naruto, nodding. "So what kind of doctor are you?"
"I heal the body," says Sei. "As do all of my comrades. Some of the others are also mind doctors, but I am not."
"Oh, so I can't talk to you then, 'tebayo," sighs Naruto, disappointed.
Sei laughs. "You are a strange child," he says. Then he walks up to Mr. Kurama and gently lays his cheek against the side of Mr. Kurama's snout. "I will go back to the rest of the Guards and tell them where you are," he says, patting Kurama's cheek. "We will all come and find you and finally do the task we were trained our whole lives to do: guard the mighty Nine Tailed Fox."
To Naruto's utter astonishment, Kurama is quite happy to face cuddle with Sei. Naruto is jealous. He wants to hug Kurama. Naruto starts to feel possessive of Mr. Kurama. "We should go," he says, trying not to sound irritated. "We don't have much time before the Order of Joe comes back, do we, 'tebayo?"
"You are right," sighs Sei, reluctantly taking his face off Kurama's. "I will come and find you once I have gathered the rest of the Guards. Where are you going from here?"
"To the Temple of Dave, 'tebbayo," says Naruto, feeling conflicted over whether wants to share Kurama with nine more of Sei or meet nine more badasses like Sei. But he does want Kurama to be happy, since then Kurama is more likely to want to be friends with Naruto.
"We will meet you there," says Sei. "The Order of Dave is nothing like the other three Orders. They are more like a small village than an actual cult, so you will be safe in their midst, and in no danger of being inducted accidently or against your will."
"That's good," says Naruto. "I'm already in the Order of Steve AND the Leader of the Order of Jashin, 'tebayo."
"Oh dear," says Sei, completely unfazed. "That's an awful lot of responsibility for one so young."
Naruto pulls a face and kicks Sei out of Kurama's seal. "How is he so calm about everything?" Naruto pouts at Kurama, crossing his arms indignantly.
"I like him," says Mr. Kurama, pulling his nose back into the cage and sitting back with a grin on his face.
"Hmmph," grunts Naruto, sticking his nose in the air and leaving the seal in annoyance.
"Explain. Now." Iruka-nii demands, grabbing the front of Naruto chunin vest. "Who is this guy and why do you trust him?"
"The Sage of Six Paths is the bijuus' dad, and he sent them all to live in different parts of the Elemental Nations before he died," explains Naruto, trying to keep it short. "He assigned each bijuu ten guards to look after them. After the guards died, new Guards were chosen to replace them-"
"I am one of Kurama's Guards," interrupts Sei. "Each of the other Eight sets of Guards continue the tradition to this day as well. We keep in regular contact, and are constantly keeping watch for the bijuu. Unfortunately, the Hidden Villages are very secretive about bijuu, so we have not had any success finding the bijuu. Does that answer your questions?"
"Yes," says Iruka, releasing Naruto's vest.
"Good, then I'll get on with healing these two," says Sei, kneeling down beside Naruto's Grandpa and Gramps Pants. Sei's hands light up with healing chakra, and he starts doing whatever it is healers do when they heal people.
"I am going to put all those scrolls back where I found them," says Iruka-nii, and heads off to the Temple of Joe at a ninja run.
"What is wrong with the little...uh..is that messy red haired child male or female?" says Sei, frowning at the mess of tie-dyed shorts and shirt and scruffy red hair that is Burifu.
"Oh, that's Burifu," says Naruto, wondering how someone so cool could be so stupid. "She's obviously a girl."
"I could not tell because of the mud," says Sei, taking his glowing hands away from Naruto's Grandpa and Gramps Pants. "What is wrong with her?"
"Nothing, she's just tired from the fight," says Shisui from his perch on top of a nearby pile of rubble. He and Neji took it upon themselves to keep a look out, apparently. Neji is perched on a half-fallen wall keeping watch in the opposite direction to Shisui.
Gramps Pants briefly opens his eyes, but then he just closes them again and goes back to sleep. Naruto's Grandpa actually wakes up properly and sits up. He looks around. "So did we win?" he asks. "Who is this guy?" he adds, when he sees Sei. "And where's Iruka?"
"Iruka-nii's in the Temple of Joe, this guy is Sei - he's one of Mr. Kurama's Guards, and he saved us from the Order of Joe, 'tebayo," says Naruto.
"Ooh, tell me more," says Naruto's Grandpa eagerly. "It sounds like a lot happened while I was out."
"Yep, it all started when you killed Sasori…" Naruto begins.
"NO!" Sei claps a hand over Naruto's mouth. "You do not have time for flashbacking! You all need to clear out of here before the Order of Joe returns with their leaders. Those guys would give the Uzumaki Queen a run for her money!"
"Aw, but I wanted to tell Grandpa what happened after he used...fuuinjutsu…" Naruto realizes when he is saying as he says it. "Grandpa...you used fuuinjutsu. How?"
"Well, um…" Naruto's Grandpa glances at Sei and says, "I'll tell you on the way to the temple of Dave, and then you can tell me how I...killed Sasori...I KILLED SASORI?!" Naruto's Grandpa's jaw drops and his eyes go wide.
"Yes you did," says Shisui. "But we need to get out of the ruins now, because the Order of Joe is no laughing matter."
"But I'm not finished my research," protests Naruto's Grandpa. "My research is the reason we are on this trip."
"Naruto, take over from me as look out," says Shisui. "I'll take Arashi to the Temple so he can take a crap ton of pictures."
"Yes, Shisui," says Naruto, even though he wants to see the temple of Joe. His Grandpa will be much safer with Shisui, though. "So what am I looking for aside from the Order of Joe?"
"Bandits, enemy shinobi, travellers who need to gtfo," explains Shisui. "We'll be back as soon as we can."
"Sweet," says Naruto, and starts scanning the ruins for signs of life.