Shisui wakes up to the sound of a messenger hawk tapping on his window. He rolls out of bed, and heads over to the window. Shisui opens the window, let's the messenger hawk in and takes its message. The hawk flies away, obviously it did not want a reply. The message has the Hokage's symbol on it, and Shisui wonders why the Hokage is sending him a message and not Iruka. Iruka is team captain.
Just as Shisui opens the message scroll, he remembers that Fugaku is the Hokage now, not Lord Third.
The scroll explodes in Shisui's face, but does not hurt him at all. Shrugging, Shisui reads what the message actually says. It reads, "Itachi is having a boy, and you better be back before she's due or I will find you and castrate you, Shisui." Lord Fugaku's name is signed at the bottom, but Shisui barely notices.
Shisui throws the scroll up in the air with a yell of victory. Who cares if jumping up and down is undignified behaviour? Shisui knows what his kid is! He is having a boy! Yay!
Buzzing with excitement, Shisui throws on his beach-mission clothes, and heads off to do his hair all nice and majestically. When he looks in the mirror, Shisui gasps in horror.
He has a sparkly blue mustache.
So that's what the explosion did!
Shisui tries to wash the mustache off, but has no success. If anything, he makes it shinier.
Shisui's mood drops when he realizes he is stuck with the mustache for an indeterminate amount of time. But then he remembers he and Itachi are having a boy and his good mood returns. So what if he has a sparkly blue mustache? Shisui is having a baby! Well, Itachi is having the baby, but Shisui has a son! He's not born yet, but oh well. Buzzing, Shisui heads to the room where the rest of his team are sleeping to tell them the news.
Burifu, Pantsu and Arashi are the only ones there and they are all sleeping. Not caring how much he annoys them, Shisui yells, "Guys! Itachi's having a boy!"
Arashi sticks his head up and says, "Good for her." Then he lays his head back down on the pillow and ignores Shisui.
"Is Itachi your girlfriend?" asks Burifu, sitting up.
"Yes," says Shisui. "And she's having a baby boy! We're having a baby! Yay!" Shisui squees a little.
Burifu stares at Shisui with a guileless expression on her face. Then she starts singing. "Shisui and Itachi, in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a golden carriage!" then she points and laughs at Shisui. "'Cept you got it in the wrong order!"
"Some people do, eh," says Pantsu, getting out of bed incredibly slowly. "Not everyone follows the song."
"Do babies really come in a golden carriage?" asks Burifu, curiously. "What's a golden carriage, anyway?"
"No they don't," says Arashi, sticking his head up again. "And a carriage is like a pram but fancier."
"Aren't they just different words for the same thing?" says Shisui, frowning. "I mean, they're both for putting babies in, and they both have wheels…"
Zetsu is fed up with these crazy people already. One minute he is walking past a strange dome-like barrier, the next minute, a bunch of red headed seal masters are tackling him into a box and dragging him inside the dome. Then they shove him into a cage and stand outside it discussing him.
"Maybe if we stick him in this enclosure, he won't be able to escape," says one red head.
"I could have sworn we didn't have anything like this in our zoo," says another.
"No, we don't," says a third. "This one is completely new. I wonder how he managed to slip outside the barrier? Ah well, it doesn't matter. I wonder what it eats?"
"We eat humans," says Zetsu.
"I'm afraid we don't have any of those to feed you," says the first red head. "Although I might be tempted to give you my sister here. She's a pain."
"Oi!" says the third human indignantly and punches the first one. The two female humans start fist fighting.
The second human steps out of their way and says, "I can get you some nice cows or maybe a pig, is that okay?"
"It will do for now," says Zetsu, wondering how easy it will be to escape, eat the three humans and then go back to what he was doing. He was looking for Nagato. That pesky Leader of the Hidden rain still has Madara's rinnegan, and Zetsu needs them back. The plan is nearly complete: everything is in place to resurrect Kaguya, except that they need Madara's eyes and the tailed beasts. The current plan is to resurrect Madara so he can hunt down all the tailed beasts and seal them inside himself, then cast the Infinite Tsukuyomi on the world and, only Zetsu knows this part, Kaguya will return.
The only problem is getting Nagato alone. Nagato is usually with someone so powerful or in the know that Zetsu won't be able to sneakily take the eyes without anyone noticing until they find Nagato's corpse days later. Then jinchuuriki will start disappearing, starting with the ones least likely to be missed, and then the rest, the ones people will miss, will vanish almost overnight. By the time the operation is complete, the shinobi world will only just be beginning to realize something is wrong.
The only potential problem is Akatsuki. Zetsu did his best to recruit them, but he failed. But Nagato is off on his own, with that little sidekick he found for himself. This is the perfect opportunity to kill Nagato and take Madara's eyes.
So of course Zetsu got caught by what are obviously some Uzumaki seal masters who want to keep him in some kind of zoo.
Zetsu decides to wait around for the free food he was promised while he contemplates where to search for Nagato next. He could always start here, inside this strange place. The food arrives promptly and still very much alive. Zetsu enjoys his meal tremendously and settles down to sleep for the night in his grassy-floored cage. Escaping from here will be simple.
When morning comes Zetsu is woken by the sound of humans talking outside his cage. Zetsu gets up and goes to see is his breakfast has arrived. Can't hunt Nagato on an empty stomach.
There is no breakfast.
But there is Nagato.
"So this is our new arrival," an old man with a walking stick is telling Nagato and the Leaf ninjas with him. "He likes to eat his food raw, which is why he is in the Dangerous Creatures section."
"Is this the dangerous Creatures Section?" says Nagato, looking flabbergasted. "But there's a mermaid just over there."
"Mermaids like to drown people and eat their brains," says the old man.
Zetsu thinks that if he was to get a girlfriend one of these mermaid things would be perfect.
"Wow, mermaids are nothing like fairy tales want you to think they are," says the hyuuga boy. For some reason, he has a unicorn beside him.
The boy that Zetsu recognizes as the nine tails jinchuuriki is there too, along with his handler and a couple of fire birds. "It's a plant monster, 'tebayo!" says the kyuubi kid. "I wonder if the plant monster that attacked Pervy sage is from the same universe as this one?"
Why yes, thinks Zetsu. Yes I am. Now why do none of you recognize me? You all know about me.
"You're right," says Nagato, peering at Zetsu through the cage bars. "He could be the same species as Black Zetsu."
Zetsu is both ashamed and glad that Nagato is so stupid. Ashamed he ever thought Nagato was intelligent, and glad that Nagato did not recognize him.
But damn, how stupid can you get?
"In all our efforts to be hospitable," says Gurunku, as they stand outside the Plant Monster's enclosure. "I forgot to actually ask you why you are here. So what are a team of Leaf shinobi, the head of the order of Steve, his great granddaughter and a historian doing in Gravity Fails?"
"We're here to visit the Temple of Dave," says Iruka, watching the plant monster shuffle around its enclosure. "We are taking the historian - my dad - on a tour of the Four Shinigami Temples. He is researching the Hidden Whirlpool and its destruction. Turns out Sasori of the Red Sand destroyed the Hidden Whirlpool."
"Well I'll be damned," says Gurunku.
"Grandpa killed him, 'tebayo," chimes in Naruto.
"So what do you hope to do in the Temple of Dave?" asks Gurunku suspiciously.
"We just want to go in, take some pictures, film the more interesting parts and check out the sacred scroll," says Iruka. "The Hokage asked us to take a look at it because it contains the Second Hokage's notes on the Sharingan, and he has a feeling someone tampered with the Uchiha's sacred tablet. He wants us to bring him the scroll so he can compare it to the tablet and figure out what has been changed."
"This is no light thing that you want," says Gurunku, seriously. "How can I be sure you do not take anything else from the temple, and that you return the Sacred Scroll when you are finished?"
"On my honour as an Umino," says Iruka solemnly. "I swear the only thing we will take from the Temple of Dave is the Sacred Scroll. I also swear that we will bring it back within a month."
Gurunku considers Iruka's promise for a minute, then he says, "Very well, you may go into the Temple and take the scroll and your photos."