The Shotgun Approach
Chapter 26: Becoming Human
A/N: The continuation of Ettie's trial, back to Ettie's POV.
. . .
I would pay dearly for this. For my crimes and my dubious loyalty and my wasted endeavors.
The fox would not be kind.
The payment he would seek for defending me would surely be high—if I lived.
Part of me hoped they would cast their judgement on me as they should—put me to death. It would be the kindest route for me, the one with the least suffering.
A month ago Hiei came to my cell.
He told me he would be my executioner. But before that he told me something else—that he'd spent months digging up what he could about my past and my family.
He was far more devious and well connected than I ever gave him credit for.
The message he sent me while with Einarr? The ability to convince one of my ravens to even carry it for him was astounding. That Jagan of his was both a gift and a curse.
The note itself meant exactly what I thought it had, which was why I'd risked returning here in the first place. Hiei at least knew, but he chose not to defend me in any capacity. He only chose to take mercy on me and offered to be the one to cut my head from my neck.
That was when the argument started and never stopped until Yusuke's untimely arrival.
Even now, I could feel the king's eyes boring into my back and it took all my willpower not to turn around.
I wanted to see his face.
More than anything I wanted to see that he was alive and whole.
Einarr and Magni could make their move at any time...if I was not there...
I didn't think all four of them—no, even with the other lords in the Makai behind them—could take out the two of them together.
Even having spent so much time around Einarr, I still did not know fully what he was capable of. As for Magni...
He would be far more dangerous.
I was shaking in my seat, the burn in my stomach and lungs and throat lingered with such ferocity I feared it would drive me mad. The drugs—I needed them so badly. I could feel myself aching, rotting from the inside out.
Koenma's plan to detoxify me failed miserably. I kept just enough hidden and was forced to ration it— slowly, carefully—every long day I was imprisoned.
I never slept but for a few minutes here and there when the exhaustion became too much. I couldn't eat, the food of Spirit World was too rich, even the slop they fed their prisoners. And even then, anything I put in my stomach besides water came back up with a vengeance.
I tried to focus on my trial, I knew in the back of my head it was important—life or death. My liberty was of little consequence anymore, I would never be truly free, it didn't matter who held the chains.
My vision grew black around the edges and I felt Kurama dig the heel of his foot into mine, forcing me to grit my teeth.
"Pay attention," he snapped. "This isn't just your life at stake."
Ah. So he understood too.
I was the only one with the information they would need. I held value to them.
Yusuke's life was on the line too. Both Kurama and Hiei must know that. They must understand that I could fix it—I would fix it.
Kurama stood suddenly, frustration clear on his face. "Your honors, may I request a recess so I can converse with my client?"
They all looked irritated by the request but granted it anyway, glad to have a break. The court room started to filter out, hours of sitting making everyone resentful and tired. And it was with some disgusted awareness that I realized I hadn't paid my own trial even a second of attention.
The guards came to place me back in my shackles but Kurama waved them off and hauled me to my feet himself.
I was still chained at the ankles, so when he dragged me from my chair and into a private room off the courtroom, all I could do was stumble behind him.
He slammed the door before we could be followed and rounded on me.
"Have you no sense of self preservation?! You are making a mockery out of this trial!"
I couldn't stand for too long, my legs shook beneath me and my body ached and my tongue felt too thick for my mouth.
Kurama sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He dug around in his pockets and tossed something my way.
I caught it, just barely, and stared down at the medicine bottle like it was a hallucination. "What...is this?"
"Probably not as strong as you prefer, but enough to keep you focused. Take it, quickly."
I didn't ask again. I emptied the few pills in the bottle into my hand and swallowed them all dry.
Kurama shook his head, disgusted.
"Yusuke doesn't want you to die, you are aware of that, aren't you?"
No, I wasn't. And my face must have said as much because Kurama sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Did you at least find your son?"
The drugs didn't stop the pain. It wasn't enough.
The first sob tore through me like I was as thin as tracing paper. It ripped me to shreds and left me shaking on the floor and Kurama stood over me without an ounce of pity in his eyes.
I could not blame him.
"Get up," he snarled. "Get up and face whatever awaits your future. And never forget this trial is a courtesy not granted to most."
The rest of the trial was just as long and arduous, but I paid attention this time. I watched with heartbroken fascination when both Yusuke and Kuwabara rose to speak on my behalf, but they left nothing out. They told them of my failures and my betrayal and the acts I committed all in the name of finding a son that did not want me.
It didn't paint a pretty picture. But at least they understood the reasoning behind my actions to some extent.
They were not committed out of malice or anger or hatred.
They were committed out of a single minded, insanity fueled undertaking with the noblest of ideals—but lacked all nobility in and of itself.
My entire life was a waste.
Most would lay down and die in such a situation, but I just wanted one thing I could take to my grave and actually be proud of.
Just one.
But I couldn't do that if the Spirit World High Counsel chose to execute me. Even if it was the right choice.
And then there was Kurama—devious and undeniably loyal to Yusuke because he put his own feelings aside and defended me professionally. He kept his face a neutral mask as ice cold as my power and used what Hiei dug up to thwart the judges at every turn.
It left a sour taste in my mouth.
I didn't deserve this. I wondered when the other shoe would drop. Surely they sought their own brand of justice—Hiei, Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara—they wouldn't just let this go, would they?
My eyes drifted to a corner of the elaborate court room and I almost shrunk back in my seat at the gaze staring back at me. Hiei looked menacing, eyes such a deep red they reminded me of garnets stained in fresh spilt blood.
He pointed towards the front of the court room and glared—pay attention, that look said.
Feeling like a child being scolded, I dragged my eyes back reluctantly.
But my thoughts strayed, wondering what I'd missed all these months. Did Hiei stay with the crew? Did Yusuke lose his standing with Sarayashiki's citizens? Was Kurama and Kuwabara there to pick up the pieces if he had?
Of course they were.
They weren't like me. They had loyalties and history and friendships I could never even dream of.
Those things were foreign to me. I kept even my crew at a distance—only letting them see just enough of me to trust but not to question.
The thought of my crew made my breath catch and Kurama cast me a look so scathing that I actually dropped my eyes to the floor, ashamed.
No one cowed me as badly as Kurama.
I was ashamed at both my weakness and my lack of attention. The trial was nearing its close and I couldn't tell which way it was going to go. The judges all held sober faces and the gathered crowd murmured amongst themselves; speculating, waiting.
It was when Koenma stood that the room fell silent.
"I would like to hear from one final person," he said. "Etternia, please take the stand."
Years ago, when I first pled my case to live in the human realm, Koenma was supportive and on board with my choice to live and work in Sarayashiki. We met only that once, the application process, interview, and subsequent citizenship all occurred within a day's time.
Now, he eyed me with caution and disappointment, his gaze tinged with a heated anger.
Anxiety roiled in my gut as I rose from my seat, letting one of the guards guide me to the podium.
I settled in the ridge backed chair and took in a heavy, shuddering breath.
"You have one chance," the king of Reikai said. "Don't waste it."
Silence reigned. But all nervousness was gone. A coldness settled in my chest and the breath I released was icy, frosting over the microphone mounted to the stand encompassing me.
Even the shackles Koenma placed me in weren't enough to truly stamp down my Magicks without the limiter.
I thought of what would invoke the most sympathy, the most understanding. But knew I couldn't embellish my tale or lie through my teeth. So when I spoke it was with a voice so monotone and hard that I sounded almost robotic.
I didn't want anyone to know my life—but it was too late for that, wasn't it?
I spoke of my father's kingdom, of the tree that he and generations before him fought to protect. I told them of my birth, the one and only child to a ruthless king and a mother who tried her utmost best to shelter me from the hardships of our peoples' everyday life.
As I was about to begin the story of Artair for what I hoped would be the final time, Koenma held up a hand to stop me.
"This tree...uh, whatchama call-it, Yaggdrayzill. What is it exactly?"
"The tree—Yggdrasil," I said with thinly veiled irritation, "is a tree of life. It holds great power and importance to our people."
They were all staring at me now, doing very little to mask their curiosity—the power lust in their eyes.
"And what does it...do, exactly?" asked the man beside Koenma.
I was hesitant to answer this question. It did many things, none inherently bad, but could become so in the wrong hands.
My jaw tightened. Truth. I must give them just enough of it. "The tree houses the gates to the other realms—the ones below and above my own."
"And how many are there?"
"There are nine in total. The realm I hail from is known as Vanaheim."
A mumbling rose between the judges, each of their voices clamoring for dominance in a slew of questions and replies that made very little sense to the rest of the room's occupants. I kept my gaze steadily trained on the hands I wrung together in my lap—waiting.
"Etternia," Koenma addressed me once more, "Is this how you were able to enter our realm, as well?"
"No," I shook my head. "You must have special permissions to cross realms through the world tree. I made it to the main continent—the place you know of as the Makai—by other means. I came to Spirit World through the portal, the same as any other demon."
"Your choice to reroute the portal to Spirit World was a smart one, Koenma, but it seems there was some negligence along the line—allowing such a creature in our midst."
Creature, I thought with a snear, how befitting.
"Do you also have names for our realm?" Koenma asked, ignoring his fellow counsel member.
"The human realm is known as Midgard. The realm of the gods is Asgard. And the damned go to a realm known as Helheim."
"And demon world? What name do you have for that?"
I couldn't help the bitter laugh that left my mouth. "Well, isn't it just another branch of Helheim, your graces? There are little to no laws in place, the demons kill and pillage and destroy to their pleasure. But I would not say it is the deepest realm of hell, but just the tip of a much larger iceberg."
"The Makai is not part of any hell I am aware of," said one judge. "It isn't an inherently evil place, from the new intelligence we've collected over the years, either. It isn't a land filled with lost souls."
"No, it isn't. Helheim is for the dead, that is for sure. But I have no real name for those lands. It is a realm all its own. Known to my people, yet unknown. It is not part of my world and yet can be traveled to with much hardship as if it is. There is no explanation for it."
I hoped what information I was able to give would direct them away from the subject of Yggdrasil. Telling Koenma the truth was one thing—he was close to Yusuke and I didn't think he would stand in my way if he knew—but I couldn't let the others know. They would send an army of soldiers to scout the tree, to take what it offered for themselves. All gods were power hungry in their own right and Yggdrasil would offer them just that—infinite power.
"And what of the boy king, Urameshi Yusuke? What is your relationship with him?"
Kurama stood at this particular question. "What relevence does this hold to her trial?"
"Considering this all started upon their meeting, I would say it holds plenty of relevence."
Kurama looked cowed, his eyes glinting with a defiant light, but he sunk back into his chair with more grace than a royal.
The judged turned back to me, leaning forward in his seat so he may get a better look. "Answer the question, girl."
I made sure to keep my eyes away from said king, afraid of his reaction. "He is a dear friend."
"A dear friend you and your cohort—now known to be your younger brother—attempted to kidnap and use to further your agenda."
"Yes..."
The court errupted into a cacophony of sound, stunned voices whispering loudly back and forth, a jumbled mess of words even my ears could not pick out.
Against Kurama's wishes, I stood in my chair, the redhead waving violently at me to sit back down.
"Please listen!" I hollered. "The choice I made in following him was a poor one! But I meant no ill will—I didn't wish for so many people to die! I did it to try to save the king's life!"
One of the judges scoffed in disbelief and I whirled around to stare at him with wide, ravenous eyes.
"Meant no ill will? Please." he said. "Whether it was your hand that struck the killing blow, or your brother's, you still did nothing to stop it."
"And how many lives would be lost if I allowed him to kill the king?! You don't understand...!"
"Etternia!"
Kurama's shout held so much authority the entire court clammed up. I sat back down abruptly, my jaw snapping shut, chest heaving.
"Allow me to question the witness?" he asked and the judge waved him off, giving Kurama the floor.
He strode to the podium, green eyes flashing gold in the lamp light. "Etternia," he said, "You say your motive was to save the king, is this true?"
I ground my teeth together, eyes darting around all the faces staring back at me—eyes full of uncertainty and fear, but not an onuce of pity. It was when I came across a stark red that I caught my breath and felt the shake of my hands subside. Anger flared in them—righteous and beautiful and hungry.
Anger I could understand.
Anger I could work with.
"There was another motive, one that I've harbored for a very long time."
"To save your son?" Kurama asked.
"Yes. But I was so trapped in the past I never stopped to think what kind of man he would have grown into. Perhaps I didn't want to believe he was a man at all—but still that babe that was stolen from me on the day of his birth."
Kurama slung question after question at me after that—about my drug addiction, my mental health, the state of my powers, the misuse of them, my family, the loss of Artair. Every one was designed to cut, deeper and deeper, until my facade of cold calm cracked like so much ice.
He wore me down with such brutal efficency that I was left with little time to collect myself between questions. I was left with my mind reeling, blurting out each answer as soon as it came to mind.
My hands were shaking again, palms pooling with sweat and hair clung to the back of my neck. The braids were a mess. I was a mess.
And still he fired question after question, not even giving the judges time to cross examine my replies. Kurama effectively and cruelly ripped every bit of information I'd withheld from me, not caring when tears gathered in my eyes and threatened to spill over. Not caring when those same tears froze to my face mere minutes later.
It was like reliving everything all over again—the hardships, the pain. All of it.
Kurama did an about face at the end, spinning the questioning back around to the orignal topic at hand. "And what are you so adamant about saving the king from?"
I spit fired the answer just as I did all the rest. "The tree creates a dew. It can be used in very small amounts to heal grave wounds or reverse spells and curses. But if the dew is eaten...unrefined, in its entirety, it will either grant great power and knowledge—or destroy whoever ate it from within, taking the surrounding land and anyone on it, with them."
"You mean to save Yusuke from this fate?"
"No...I mean to save him from being eaten."
The room fell silent. Even Kurama looked confused. "How would he end up eaten?"
"My...Magni...he plans to sacrifice Yusuke to the World Tree. The power of both a human and demon such as he will be used as fertilizer. And with it will birth a new type of dew—a dew Magni plans to ingest himself."
"And if he does?"
"One of two things will happen. Either he will ingest it and rise to Godhood...or he will ingest it and implode—the impact of which will collapse our world of Vanaheim...and take any of the surrouding realms with it."
Kurama, for his credit, took my answer better than I thought he would. He kept the same mask of indifference he'd worn the entire time, even as Yusuke's face paled to a stark white. Kuwabara, in the crowd, was just as pale. And Hiei...he had eyes only for the king. Eyes that bored into the man's face until I was sure his entire vision swam with nothing but Yusuke. A look that held both fear and longing in its gaze.
Kurama ended his questioning and gave his closing statement. He spun a tale of an abused, distraught mother who lost both her infant son and lover in one fell swoop. A woman who turned to drugs to ease her pain and fell down a hole so deep and dark she could not climb up from it. The drugs addled her brain, made her choices and actions poor ones, but ones that were not chosen out of evil intent.
He made it all sound quite sympathetic and depressing. Which was apparently perfect for the court, but the judges only half fell for it. Their prejudices ran deep too.
They had me rise for the sentencing, once again shakled and guarded.
"Etternia of the Vanir, born of clan Ylfings, Elementa and patron of the Goddess Freya—we hearby sentence you to a life of exile in the human realm, stripped of all powers and abilities, until a time when all judges present on this day see fit for them to be returned to you."
"But—!"
My voice was drowned out by all the rest—Yusuke, Hiei, even Kurama—all vying for a different sentence.
To have my powers sealed—locked away—was a fate worse than death for a demon. They all knew it. But with this knowledge also came resolve. It was a small price to pay for what I'd done.
I walked to the judges' dias with as much grace as I could in chains. "I accept my punishments and will abide by them."
Being trapped in the human realm would be difficult, but I still had my knowledge of my medicines and plants and healing. I would just be infinitely more—human.
I would have to save their lives on my own merit, with nothing but my bare hands.
Koenma's pinched, worried face stretched a comforting smile across my own. It was no fault of his.
He sighed and said, "So be it."
With his words the guards removed my shackles, my power rushing back beneath my skin like a long lost friend, before it was cruelly stricken from me. A redhot brand was brought forth, made of godly steal. The guards wrenched my shirt up and pressed that rune into the bare flesh of my back, the skin sizzling, the burn going straight to my core.
I screamed until my voice was raw and broken. The pain was unimaginable, a suffering you would never comprehend even in a million lifetimes.
I fainted halfway through the branding...when I awoke I was in my bed in my apartment. I felt nothing beneath my breast—just a barren emptiness where my core was supposed to be.
"You should have let me kill you," said a quiet voice in the corner of my room.
It was dark, the apartment smelt of Yusuke and very little of me anymore, and I couldn't sense any energy signatures—my mind came up with nothing. A glorious blankness I should not be reveling in.
"Hello, Hiei."
I sat up in bed, allowing the sheets to pool in my lap, the coolness of the room pricking at my bare skin. Cold...I could feel the cold. Just like I could feel the heat rolling off of Hiei from the few scant feet between us.
He rose from his corner and walked over to me, hovering at the edge of the bed like a suffocating cloud. His heat was...marvelous. The first time I'd truly been able to really feel it and god did I want it to burn me, burn me straight to ash.
"This is a deserving fate," I said, as if trying to comfort him. "But if you still feel the need to kill me, then by all means—"
I spread my arms wide, baring my breasts and skin for him to do what he will.
He didn't run me through.
Instead he loomed over me, a hand reaching out and gripping my chin so hard my teeth dug into the insides of my cheeks. He stood there for so long, his eyes wild and bright in the dark. He turned my face from side to side, inspecting me, before he let go and allowed his eyes to rove over the rest of my body. He lifted a boot to kick the sheet off the mattress, eyes darting over my scarred stomach and legs, before he bit out a demanding, "Turn around."
I did as I was told, rolling onto my stomach so he may inspect my back.
When his hot fingers came in contact with the fresh brand I couldn't help the scream that wrenched from my throat. His fingers dug in, dragging across the lines of it, the searing pain making me choke on my own tongue.
When his touch fled so did he...and I was left alone, sweat plastering my hair to my neck and chest heaving, trying to catch my breath after the pain stole it from me.
When I had collected myself, I dressed in loose clothing. Only one thing on my mind now.
My first night back was a night I spent hunting down the nearest drug dealer...and sending myself to a beautiful oblivion.
. . .
A/N: Kurama's petty revenge was finally getting to break her in court. Poor Ettie. She has no powers now. None. So minus her naturally long lifespan and the demon's unusual ability to heal their own wounds quickly, she's essentially human. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
This chapter was a bitch to write, not gonna lie.
Sorry it took so long but I needed to get through the holidays! And thank you everyone for the wonderful reviews I've been receiving lately, ilysm!