AN: New Arc, New Summary. Enjoy. Also we feel we should mention to you that I was the one to come up with the idea for this story and Cyrro kinda went crazy with the writing and now it's damn massive. ~Ignis Dracorex
The Story So Far…
Our story began many years ago, when a a teenaged Iruka took in a stray Naruto. The events that followed had a lasting impact upon the Hidden Leaf, and even other Hidden Villages. Danzo was none too happy about such a young genin taking care of the Leaf's jinchuuriki, so he tried to have Iruka killed. Mei came to Iruka's rescue with the help of Wind and Rain, the ever-mysterious pair who work for Akatsuki. Instead of Iruka dying, Danzo did - he was executed for treason on multiple counts. Naruto and Hinata set off a chain of events that led to the Uchiha Clan's survival and Fugaku growing a mustache.
Iruka did his best to care for Naruto and teach him fuuinjutsu, but Naruto ended up floating. Then Minato's parents appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. They took in Naruto and Iruka, but Kazama was not happy about taking in Iruka. After an explosive argument over Naruto, Iruka left in a hurry and went on a mission to help himself calm down. He ended up going down in the Temple of Joe with Mei, an act Joe's followers would approve of , Mei took the Sacred Scroll from the Temple - the very artifact Iruka went there to retrieve. After the mission, Iruka made up with Kazama, who then adopted him as her son.
Time passed and Naruto graduated from the Academy. His first C-Rank mission with his new team turned into an A Rank, but Naruto soon made friends with his new enemies. After Zabuza and Haku left to join Akatsuki, Wind and Rain dropped by to return a stolen scroll to the Leaf by entrusting it to Naruto. Naruto wasted no time in learning the Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu.
And then the chunin exams arrived, and with them came new friends like Gaara, Temari and Kankuro. Kabuto also proved to be a friend after he helped Wind, Okami, Karin and a Hidden Rain ANBU called Turtle save Sasuke's life. Rain saved Lord Third from Orochimaru, but did not make him end the reanimation jutsu first. Now the Hidden Leaf has the First and Second Hokages around to draw wisdom from. Fugaku awakened rinnegan from the pain of believe his daughter to be dead, and Itachi awakened Mangekyou sharingan, although due to her pregnancy, she has yet to test their true power.
Determined to save Sasuke, who is in danger of dying any day, Naruto took Jiraiya on a trip to find the greatest healer of all: Tsunade Senju. They found her, but Zetsu and a strange man in a mask tried to stop them from taking Tsunade back to the Leaf. They wanted her power to aid their cause. Jiraiya's illegitimate child appeared in the Leaf while they were away, as did Nagato, Yahiko and Konan. Nagato is now the leader of the Hidden Rain, and Yahiko leads Akatsuki. When Naruto and Jiraiya returned with Tsunade, Sasuke was saved, and Fugaku became the Fifth Hokage. As a result of Fugaku's ascension to the rank of Kage, Rasa stepped down as Kazekage and Gaara took his place.
After facing down the King of the Moon, Hiashi Hyuuga became the Moon King. Sick of how his son was getting pushed around by the rest of the Hyuuga clan, Hizashi sent Neji on a mission with Iruka and Naruto. With Shisui as their fourth member, Team Iruka set out on a mission to protect Arashi as he attempted to unravel the mystery behind the Hidden Whirlpool's destruction - a mystery no one else believed was even there. They visited each of the four Shinigami Temples in turn, and became members of the Order of Steve. The Leader and his heir accompanied Team Iruka after their induction into the Order. At the second Temple, Naruto accidentally became the Leader of the Order of Jashin mere seconds after becoming a Master of Fuuinjutsu.
In the ruins of the Hidden Whirlpool, they fought Sasori, who admitted to destroying the Whirlpool with his Dance of One Hundred Puppets technique: a technique that fills the air with inescapable, deadly poison. Shisui and Arashi killed Sasori before he could unleash that poison. After Sasori was defeated, the Order of Joe appeared and proved themselves the most twisted of the four Orders. A member of an ancient organization called Kurama's Guards appeared and chased away the Order of Joe with ninshu. Team Iruka parted ways with Sei and headed to the Order of Dave and their village, Gravity Fails. There they met Nagato, Mei and Namiko - Iruka and Mei's child who was conceived because neither of her parents brought condoms to the Temple of Joe. Iruka and Namiko retrieved the Sacred Scroll from the Temple of Joe. But while they were inside the maze surrounding the Temple, Zetsu attacked Team Iruka, and the Masked Man attacked Mei and Nagato. Caught off guard and unprepared for such enemies, the two groups nearly lost. But then Sei returned with the rest of Kurama's Guards, and saved Team Iruka at the last minute. Team Iruka and Kurama's Guards arrived just in time to save Mei and Nagato, chasing away the Masked Man before Namiko and Iruka even emerged from the maze.
The three groups returned to the Hidden Leaf, where they handed over the Sacred Scroll from the Temple of Dave, and the Sacred Scroll from the Temple of Joe to Fugaku. Dave's Scroll seemed to be blank, so Fugaku assembled a team to unlock its secrets. Wind and Rain appeared in the Hidden Leaf and sent Nagato and Mei back to their respective Villages. Kazama convinced Mei to let Namiko stay in the Leaf for a while, and Kurama's Guards set up camp in Naruto's back yard. Despite how full his house was, Naruto still found it much quieter than Sasuke's. So when Sasuke asked Naruto to teach her fuuinjutsu, they took to studying at Naruto's house...
On with the Story...
Fugaku sits down beside the security guard in the T&I department, and settles down to watch Eizo on the security cameras. Fugaku is taking a break from trying to figure out Dave's Scroll to watch Eizo do an interrogation. Fugaku needs to make sure that Eizo is not being exposed to anything dangerous or potentially scarring.
The security guard hold out a bag of popcorn. "Want some?" he asks. "This is gonna be good. This time, the whole interrogation will be set up like a normal interrogation until Eizo comes in. The prisoner won't realize it is part of the questioning."
Fugaku takes some popcorn and hopes that Itachi's baby is not as crazy as Eizo. It is eight weeks until Itachi's baby is due. They have been trying to crack that damned scroll for two months now, and all the time Itachi is getting closer to her due date. Where is the time going?
"Ooh, it's starting!" Says the security guard, excitedly hitting Fugaku's arm. "Here's Ibiki and his posse!" He fixes his eyes on the screen showing the camera footage from the interrogation cell and starts putting single pieces of popcorn into his mouth like he is watching the most intense thing ever.
Fugaku reaches over and turns up the volume.
The interrogation room is set up with a long table and two chairs. The prisoner is tied up in one of the chairs and positioned at the foot of the table. Ibiki enters, flanked by two intimidating shinobi, and sits down at the head of the table.
"Good morning," says Ibiki evenly. "Would you mind telling me where your gang's hideout is?"
"He's from that gang of thugs that's been attacking merchant caravans," says the security guard. "Once they've cracked him, you'll get a request for a team of shinobi to clear out the hideout."
"Oh great, more paperwork," says Fugaku,rolling his eyes.
"More popcorn?"
"Thanks."
"I'm not telling you anything!" says the prisoner defiantly.
"Now, be reasonable," says Ibiki. "I don't want to have to get rough with you."
"Do your worst!" says the prisoner, spitting on the table.
"I hope it does not have to come to that," says Ibiki calmly. "Now, w-"
The door to the interrogation room bangs open, interrupting Ibiki. Eizo marches in, a proud grin on his face. "I pooped in the potty!" Eizo declares. "And I even washed my hands all by myself!" Of course, to most people, Eizo's words would have sounded a lot like gibberish because he cannot form all of the words correctly. Fugaku, however understands perfectly because he lives with Eizo. "I'm ready for lunch now, Mr. Ibiki."
"Excuse me, I have to take this," says Ibiki, holding up a hand to the prisoner. "What would you like for lunch, Eizo?"
"Um…" Eizo trots up to Ibiki and climbs up onto Ibiki's lap, and then onto the table, listing off all the things he wants as he does so. "I want bread. I want juice box. I want chippies. I want mayo. I want pisgetti. I want prezzles. Um…"
"I think that's enough to start with, don't you?" says Ibiki, once Eizo runs out of ideas.
"Mm!" Nods Eizo, agreeing. "I wanna eat lunch here." Eizo sits down and pats the table.
"You," Ibiki points to one of his posse. "Get some bread, a juice box, a bag of chippies, some mayonnaise, some spaghetti and a bag of pretzels. You know where we keep the kid's lunch food. Get to it."
"Your kid eats a lot," says the security guard. "More popcorn?"
"Yeah he does. Thanks," says Fugaku, taking another handful of popcorn. "I am so glad he will be the only kid at home by the time he's a teenager."
The security guard laughs. "My teens eat a lot."
They watch the underling run out of the interrogation room, run to the staff room and starts grabbing the things he was sent to get. He piles them all up on a plate, grabs a second plate when one proves insufficient and rushes back to the interrogation room.
While the underling is getting his lunch, Eizo is cheerfully telling the prisoner about his latest developmental milestone. Potty training. "Daddy said I can wear big boy pants when I stop doing oopsies," Eizo chatters, he blurs some of his words together, but Fugaku understands him perfectly. "I like big boy pants. Nappies are too hot on my bum bum."
The prisoner is looking at Eizo sceptically, with one eyebrow raised. "I don't care," the prisoner says, raising the side of his lip in disgust.
Fugaku aggressively eats his popcorn and resists the urge to go down there himself.
"You stuupid," says Eizo, crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out.
"Now now, Eizo," says Ibiki, firmly. "Don't argue with the prisoner. We're trying to find out where his friends are."
Eizo stares at the prisoner, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "You have fwends?"
"Damn," says the security guard.
Fugaku drops some of his popcorn in surprise. "He's gonna need some cool water for that one," Fugaku says as he scoops the popcorn up off his lap.
The underling returns with Eizo's food and places the two plates on the table. "Here you go, kid. Enjoy."
"Thanks!" says Eizo, and grabs the bread. There are two slices of bread, one white and one brown. Eizo puts them down on the table and starts piling on everything else. Eizo dumps a handful of the tinned spaghetti on one piece of bread. Then he tears open the bag of chips and the bag of pretzels and dumps a handful of each one on the spaghetti. Once that is done, Eizo grabs the mayonnaise bottle in both sticky hands and squeezes mayonnaise all over his sandwich. Lastly, Eizo grabs the other piece of bread and slaps it on top of his creation.
"Ew," says the security guard, pulling a face.
"That looks like Itachi's pregnancy craving from last Friday," says Fugaku, curling his top lip in disgust. "I hoped I'd never see it again."
Down in the interrogation room, Eizo butt-scoots to the end of the table. He sits with his legs dangling over the side, and uses the prisoner as a footrest. The prisoner tries to scoot away, but the chair he is tied to is nailed to the floor, meaning he can't escape. Eizo happily eats his travesty of a sandwich, getting sauce and mayonnaise all over his face, hands and shirt.
"Please take this kid away so we can get on with the interrogation," says the prisoner, who sounds as if he trying his hardest not to beg.
Ibiko smiles, resting his chin on his hands, and says, "Tell me where your hideout is, and I'll take the kid away."
"I will not talk because some toddler is eating a disgusting sandwich in front of me!" says the prisoner. "I have dignity and pride."
"It's yummy!" says Eizo, breaking off a piece of his sandwich and pushing it into the prisoner's mouth before he has a chance to react.
The prisoner gags and spits out the piece of sandwich all over Eizo. "You disgusting little f***!"
Eizo frowns and kicks the prisoner. "Bad word!" Eizo looks at the two mouthfuls he has left of his sandwich thoughtfully. "I full," he says, and drops the rest of the sandwich onto the prisoner's lap. "You can have it." Eizo, satisfied with his meal, butt-scoots back across the table to where he left his juice box and grabs it. Then he scoots back across the table and sits cross legged on the end of the table where he was before. After some struggling, Eizo manages to stick the straw into the box, but not without spilling some on the prisoner.
"I'm serious, take it away and get out your torture devices!" begs the prisoner. "Anything but this!"
"Just tell us where your hideout is," says Ibiki calmly. "Then you can go to regular prison and wait for your buddies - if any of them survive the team of shinobi we will send to capture them."
Eizo slurps his juice so loudly that Fugaku nearly feels sorry for the prisoner. Nearly.
Once Eizo is finished his juice box, he throws it down on the table and yawns. Fugaku is sure it was a fake yawn, meant to show off how gross Eizo is right now. Cunning little toddler. And then Eizo wipes his hands and face on the prisoner's shirt.
"I AM NOT A SERVIETTE!" yells the prisoner, once again trying to escape.
Eizo laughs and says, "Yes you are."
"Get it away from me!" begs the prisoner, freaking out. "Get it away from me!"
"Tell me where your hideout is!" snaps Ibiki, his calmness evaporating. It is replaced by cold anger and a glare that could frighten even Peanut.
"NEVER!" yells the prisoner defiantly.
"AAAAHCHOOOO!" sneezes Eizo. Snot flies out of his nose and sticks to the prisoner, covering his face in shiny slime.
"They're in a cave five miles directly north of the Valley of End!" says the prisoner. "Now can I please clean myself up? And take this kid away!"
Eizo leaps up and laughs excitedly. "Mr. Ibiki, I made him talk!"
Ibiki smiles proudly. "For the record, prisoner, this toddler is our best torture device."
"They grow up so fast," says Fugaku, proudly wiping a fake tear out of his eye.
Namiko, Sasuke and Naruto are sitting at the kitchen table studying fuuinjutsu. After the first few days, Namiko joined in the fuuinjutsu studies as often as she could. She and Naruto are strong in different areas, and Sasuke is learning slowly, but steadily. Namiko is happy that she has the chance to study fuuinjutsu with other kids. Even though they are all at different levels, all three of them are learning a lot from each other. According to Namiko's Dad, children in the Hidden Whirlpool would form their own study groups with whoever they worked best with in order to learn from each other instead of attending a formal school. They all had their own teachers, but usually only one teacher was ever present, and usually only if one of the group was only just beginning to learn.
"Oi, Namiko!" Naruto elbows Namiko. "Stop daydreaming and help me explain this page to Sasuke, 'tebayo."
"Oh, sorry," says Namiko, breaking out of her thoughts. She is a bit bored, and wishes they could go to the park or something. Unfortunately, Sasuke is still grounded.
"I'm just off to tinkle," says Namiko and Naruto's Grandma, who was sitting nearby reading and keeping an eye on Sasuke. "I'll be right back, don't take Sasuke off to the moon or anything, will you?" She gets up and heads off upstairs.
"If you take me to the moon I won't tell," says Sasuke, sounding about as bored as Namiko feels.
"I wish we could help decode Dave's Scroll," sighs Naruto. "But we aren't allowed to cause we're kids, 'tebayo."
"I wanna help too," says Namiko, flicking a pen off the table. "It's so boring being cooped up all the time. Why are you even grounded, Sasuke?"
"At the moment I'm working off my sentence for hitting Itachi," says Sasuke. "Next week I start the sentence for reading the smut Jiraiya writes. By the way, my Dad said something about going to T&I at lunch time to see what Eizo actually does there. Maybe you two could sneak over to the Hokage tower and steal the scrolls while he's gone."
Namiko and Naruto both turn to look at the clock. It is about 11:30.
"We should go now while Grandma's not watching," says Naruto.
"She'll notice as soon as she's back that we're gone," points out Namiko.
"Multi Shadow Clone Jutsu," says Naruto, and makes two shadow clones. One of the clones transforms into Namiko. "They'll stand in for us. Let's go, 'tebayo!"