"Could you please hurry up?" Neville asked, nervously looking towards the door that Ron was guarding. He was pacing up and down the rows of tables in the Battle Classroom, wringing his hands together. "I want to get this over and done with."

"~Patience is a virtue!~" Ginny sang from her seat behind Prof. Slate's desk, fingers clicking away as she continued to type on her dex, her feet kicked up and her sneakers bobbing back and forth in time with the click-click-click of the keys.

Luna, who had been moving through the Tai Chi movements the Malfoy-Delacour family had taught her to help keep her balanced, blinked at that. "That is a reference." Her face fell into horror. "But… but to what?" She began to tap her head. "Think, think, think… is it Dracula, Dead And Loving It? No… no…"

"Aaaaannnddd we've lost her," Harry said dryly, leaning back in his chair and watching as Luna began to mumble to herself.

Hedwig flapped her wings before hopping along the desk. "That makes it sound like we had her in the first place." Leafeon was snoozing in the corner, having declared it was far too late for him to be up.

"Seriously, could we speed this up?" Neville asked in frustration. "I really don't want to get caught by Filch. I've managed to go four full years without having to deal with him and his creepy Purugly and I don't want to start now."

"We have permission to be here," Hermione pointed out, a bit smugly, pausing from her grooming of her Delphox. "Someone here actually thought to ask Prof. Slate if we could use this classroom to plan our next Battle Club, after all!" She waited a moment. "It was me."

"Yeah, we got it, Mione," Ron said with a roll of his eyes before he looked out the door again. His Emolga was perched down the opposite end of the hall, gesturing that he hadn't spotted anyone. "All clear. Still."

Neville though wasn't satisfied. He reached down and fingered Flora's pokeball. Harry REALLY hoped his friend didn't panic as he didn't want to deal with Flora landing on all of them. "You think that's going to matter to Filch? He'll lie about what we were doing, accuse us of…starting a Giratina Worshipping cult or something… and then force us to clean everything he doesn't want to or put us in dangerous situations purely for his own amusement. The man is pure evil. I'm pretty sure that even Voldemort fears him."

Ron huffed, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorframe. "What, you think he's sitting in his office plotting our doom?"

"Probably!"

~Meanwhile, in Filch's Office…~

The caretaker of Hogwarts was leaning over his desk, the lights low and casting sinister shadows against the wall. His beloved Pokémon, Mrs. Norris, yawned as she laid on the top of his desk and he reached out to pet her but otherwise he was focused on other matters. Important matters. Matters that were his secrets and no one else's. Things that he would never reveal to another soul. He desire… he delight… he forbidden pleasure…

"~I think I'll try defying gravity…~"

Filch sniffed back tears, Mrs. Norris pushing a box of tissues over to her trainer, past the cd he'd bought a few days before after the most glorious performance he'd ever seen in Hogwarts.

~MC~MC~MC~

"And even if it isn't Filch what we are doing won't win us House Points from the like of Umbridge-"

"Do House Points even matter anymore?" Hedwig asked, harry opening his mouth only to shut it when he realized she had a good point.

"-if she stumbles on us having a holocast with someone under investigation for genocide." Harry opened his mouth again but Neville quickly thrust out his hand. "I know Jack didn't do it. We all know it. But that doesn't mean jack squat, pun not intended, to the likes of Umbridge. Or honestly McGonagall either. Or Dumbledore. Right now we get away with a lot of crap because we have plausible deniability." He turned and addressed the entire group. "But this? Anyone walks in and sees us plotting with the Pack on staging an attack on a citizen of Avalon because Harry Potter got a love letter from a fan-"

"Can we not word it like that?" Harry asked.

"We're wording it like that from now on," Ron teased.

"-and we'll see our last few years in school turned into a prison sentence."

Luna opened her mouth only to let out a savage growl. "Can't make reference if I can't figure out other reference!" She slapped her hand on the desk. "The Wolfman! No… no that… GAH!"

"Luna's descent into further madness aside…" Ginny said, still typing away, "that's why I am tinkering with my dex, to prevent such a discovery from taking place."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked. "I thought you were just doing an encrypted channel or something."

"Well, Neville is right in that even with an encryption people would still see the Pack in holocast form."

Neville jabbed his finger in her direction. "You all heard her! I was right, let's go!" Harry sighed and grabbed onto Neville's coat and forced him to spin around. "No fair using biomechanics!" Harry merely wiggled his fingers.

"So… so many references I want to make!" Luna sobbed. "But. Must. Figure. Out. First. Reference!"

"I can't just beam in the Pack as they are," Ginny continued. "Any of you heard of Deepfake?"

Harry hadn't but Ron quickly nodded. "Yeah! That's where they can make an actress look like she's doing porn!"

"RON!" Hermione screeched, scandalized.

"What?"

"Could we NOT talk about porn? Some of us here are too young for that kind of talk!"

"Are… are you referring to me?" Ginny frowned. "I'm not. I look at porn all the time!"

"I was talking about me!"

Ron pointed at Ginny. "That's just because you're a prude, Mione. As Ginny-wait." He processed what his little sister had just said. "What do you mean you look at porn?"

Hedwig laughed. "Took him long enough!"

"I mean I enjoy watching porn. I got curious. Hot Skitty on Wailord action." She licked her lips.

"I can't tell if she's joking or not," Harry whispered to Neville before turning to Ginny, wanting to get the conversation back on track. "So Deepfakes?"

Ginny smirked as Ron and Hermione began to bicker about double standards of porn watching and porn itself. "Deepfake isn't just used for porn. Its computer programming that's designed to overlay one person's form over another's and mimic the first's actions. It would be like I took a photo of Sirius, scanned is features, and then overlaid them over a video of a baby trying a lemon. Suddenly the baby has Sirius' face and he's the one scowling. Or I do the reverse and the baby is dancing a jig or whatever old people do. I've been working on my own version and while it isn't that seamless for actual video for a holocast it works perfectly!" Clicking a few more buttons Ginny nodded and walked over to Hermione, pulling her away from Ron. "Turn on the mobile projectors there and there." While normally holocasts were simply projected from a dex Ginny had tinkered with the projectors in the Battle Class and gotten them to work as mobile holo emitters, meaning that they all could keep hold of their dexes. Hermione set about turning on her pair while Harry quickly got the other ones set up and ready. "First the control group… Remus and Sirius in 3…2…1…"

The projectors flicked on and the glowing blue forms of Harry's guardians appeared in the classroom. Remus was dressed rather casually… and looking with annoyance at Sirius who was wearing a hooded bathrobe and holding a broom handle in his hands.

"Harry… you must go to the Dagabah System…" Sirius said with a grin only to stop as Luna let out a scream and began to clutch her head, rocking back and forth. "What the hell?!"

"She can't figure out a reference so other ones are breaking her fragile mental state," Ron answered.

"…okay?" Sirius said, lowering his hood before turning to Harry. "How are you, pup?"

"Good… glad you two could join us." And he was. It was so odd, after going through so many years knowing he could only rely upon himself, to have people that cared about him and his wellbeing. He knew some would have suddenly begun to chaff under losing their freedom and having so much attention directed their way but Harry didn't see it that way. More he saw it like a man who had been in the desert for weeks happening upon a pool of cold water. Yes, one could complain it was chilly, but better than what he was used to. He could survive being separated from the two of them easily enough but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy it when all three of them were together again.

Even if two of them were holocasts.

"Next let's bring in the Kalos members…" Ginny said, activating the Deepfake program as the projectors connected to Cynthia and Diantha's dexes. But rather than the two fair-skinned beauties Harry and his friends were startled to find a pair of ebony twins standing before them. They were wearing matching evening dresses, low cut and slit high up the thigh, with gems dripping off of them, their hair styled in poofy afros.

Neville blinked. "Just what porn are you watching?"

"What was that?" Cynthia asked, Harry finding it very odd to find the woman's accented voice to come out of a stranger's mouth.

"Nothing!" Ginny said sweetly before shooting Neville a dark look. "We were just discussing the masking program I'm using on all of you."

"What? Like blurring our faces or something?" Diantha asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Or something!" Ginny chirped. "And now from the Johto Pokémon League… Lance and Jonas!" The projectors activated and Lance and Jonas appeared. Or, to be more accurate, the tall delivery man wearing short shorts and the punk teen with a nose ring and a Mohawk that were representing Lance and Jonas appeared.

"Why is everyone snickering?" Lance asked.

Hermione covered her mouth, even she finding what Ginny had done rather funny. "No reason!"

Remus raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Was it Dracula? No. Indiana Jones? No!" Luna hugged her knees. "I will solve this… I will solve this!"

Diantha frowned. "Should we be concerned-"

"Reference she can't figure out," Harry said.

The Kalosian nodded in understanding. "Ah."

As they watched Luna slowly crumble in her inability to figure out a piece of pop culture Ginny brought in Jasmine, who looked exactly the same since it wouldn't have been too shocking for Harry to chat with his long distance girlfriend, and Clair who appeared to be a 1950s Unova housewife, complete with apron and beehive haircut.

"Everyone here?" Jasmine asked, walking over to stand next to Harry, her holocast form leaning over to ghost a kiss onto his cheek.

"Just waiting for your dad," Harry said.

"And here he is!" Ginny said… before putting a finger to her lips.

The group actually in the classroom quickly understood why.

Where Jack should have been… stood a 6 foot tall centerfold. "His" long blonde hair hung down below his shoulders, shifting with each twist of his head. A pair of Spinda-print hotpants showcased wide hips and a big full booty. Beestung lips smacked together under smoky eyes and high cheekbones. And a pair of EE breasts were barely contained by the pink tubetop "Jack" was wearing, which also showed off his pieced belly button.

"…we're going to die if he finds out," Neville whispered, having to turn to hide his laughter.

"Worth it," Ginny said with a cackle.

"I see I'm the last one here," Jack said, his Johto brogue contrasting greatly with his sexpot Deepfake body. He paused, looking about before he began to walk around the room and Harry had to stop himself from doubling over with laughter as Jack's holocast form began to wiggle his hips, causing his shelf of an ass to wag about. "So, what exactly has brought us all here? I assume more than just a parent/teacher conference.

"When Jasmine was helping me with my homework the other night-"

"Not a word about me being alone with him, da!" Jasmine cut in, jabbing her finger at her father... who looked more like her slutty stripper aunt. "Holocast. And I'm an adult."

"Harry isn't," Remus said a bit defensively.

"Way to go, pup!" Sirius said, giving Harry two thumbs up while sporting the biggest shit-eating grin a man could wear.

Remus turned and glared at his best friend. "Sirius! Act like a parent!"

"Right." He turned to Harry and began to wag his finger at him. "I am very disappointed in you!" He then mouthed, "I'm not". "Even if she is a holocast you should never be alone in your room with a girl!" "Well done!" "You're mature enough for that!" "So proud."

"I can still see you, Sirius," Remus said dryly.

Lance sighed and waved his hand dismissively. "Sirius' inability to be a parent aside, mind telling us what you and Jasmine being alone in your room except you weren't has to do with us being here?"

"Unless you are bragging which is... odd," Ron said. "Her parents are right there, mate."

"We are," Jack said, rolling his shoulders and, without realizing it, jutting out his huge melons. Ron and Neville stared but the fact that the sexpot had Jack's voice was making the whole experience... weird. Had Luna been sane she would have made a reference, most likely.

"While we were chatting about Harry's homework he got a message on his dex-"

"Which we are calling a love letter from a fan!" Ron called out.

Jasmine waved towards Ginny. "We already asked the hacker to take a look at it."

"And?" Clair questioned.

Ginny looked utterly put out, her smile twisting into a snarl and her brow furrowing as she glared at her dex. "Whoever sent the message is good... REALLY good. They sent it from somewhere near Cador City but I can't pinpoint it any more than that. Might be from the Ministry itself... but also might be from the Pokémon League. Or an office building. Or a café. I can't get any more details than they sent it from Cador City."

"Sounds pretty good to me," Diantha stated.

Ginny shook her head though. "For anyone else it might be good but for me? I hack satellites like normal people play solitaire when the internet goes down. I should be able to tell you what tile of floor they were standing on... but nothing." She grumbled in frustration, very unhappy with her lack of success. "Even if I could get just an address I could get into their security feeds, look at the cameras to see who was on their dex when they sent the message... what?" She looked around at the horrified faces of the adults. "What?"

"You are scary powerful with a computer, Miss Weasley," Jonas said simply.

"Thank you!" she said brightly.

"That wasn't a compliment."

Clair sighed. "Ginny's abuse of power aside, what did the message say?"

Harry leaned against a table, taking a moment to go over his thoughts before he spoke. "I got a message from someone saying they worked for the Ministry and while they couldn't publicly support me they wanted to offer me their support and help. They-"

"Hold up," Lance said, holding up a hand. "No name or anything like that? Just a claim that they work for the Ministry?"

"Before you ask," Harry said, a touch annoyed at the interruption. It didn't help that, from the way Lance made his comment it felt like he was addressing a child. "I know they could be lying."

"Both for good reasons or ill," Hermione stated. When the others looked at her she shrugged. "Okay, obviously it could be a trap. But it could also be a concerned person who has insider knowledge but knows we wouldn't believe them without a ministry title."

"Like what?" Clair asked. "A shoeshiner who overheard things?"

"They still have shoeshiners?" Jack asked, his holocast form sitting down. Because Ginny hadn't bothered to program anything other than the female form Jack was unwittingly wearing it made it look like a 6 foot stripper was squatting... and then Jack spread his legs and Harry found the prank no longer funny and he really wanted to know why Ginny hadn't bothered to program in underwear BUT had programmed naked flesh.

Remus shrugged, not noticing the way the teens turned away from the woman with Jack's voice. "That's actually a good point though. If one person came to you and said someone was a criminal and another person told you they were innocent... and the first looked like a businessman and the other a deranged hobo who would you believe?" Sirius opened his mouth but Remus held up a hand, "Yes, yes, we'd believe the hobo because of our experiences with the rich and powerful but my point stands."

"But is it possible that someone from the ministry would send this?" Neville asked. "They seem like a pretty tight-knit group there. Not the Elite 4 but the Ministry themselves. During my time with Barty I spent some time at the Ministry and it was very… clique-y."

Jonas shrugged at that. "Anything is possible. War makes for strange bedfellows. It makes people question things, to choose paths they might not have ever considered."

Hermione's nose crinkled. "But how could you work for the Ministry when you disagreed with what they did?"

"Oh, plenty of people can be two-faced," Lance said. "I-"

"HOld it!" Ron called out before turning to Luna. "Not a reference."

The blond let out a sigh of relief and went back to trying to figure out the original reference that was bugging her. ("It was a horror film… I think… but had comedy too… Shaun of the Dead? No… no!")

"Continue."

"Right... the point is that people can support both sides. I knew of Johtoians that offered shelter to the Sons and then would let the Kanto forces use their homes as staging grounds during the war. Not because either side threatened them but because they could get something out of it. Others were turncoats, plain and simple. Claimed to be fighting the good fight for Johto but secretly working with Kanto. Gave us info, helped us win some battles actually. It happens."

"Could I get a list of people who-" Jack stopped when he saw the glare Lance was sending his way. "Kidding, kidding!" He scratched at his stomach, which looked rather odd in his female holocast form.

"Let's set aside the sender for now," Cynthia said lightly, moving to her right and leaning against... nothing. "What did the message say?"

Harry proceeded to explain everything the message had detailed. What Stan was supposedly doing, the people he was harming, and the plea for Harry to take care of the man that was selling out Avalon's citizens and visitors. He also provided some proof of his own, namely research he'd done that morning that showed an increase in attacks occurring around the Knight's Bus. It wasn't solid proof, as it didn't actually link Stan as the middleman, but it did prove that attacks were happening, which the Ministry was covering up to prevent people from growing scared. Most curious was the fact that while nearly every driver on the circuit Stunpike never had a single attack when he was manning the Knight's Bus.

"I can't believe it," Remus said, looking over the newspaper articles Harry had found (Neville drafted to hold them up for him). He looked up and Harry's annoyance must have been written on his face because his guardian held up a hand. "I'm not saying you're wrong, kiddo. I see the information. It's just... hard to swallow. I've ridden the Knight's Bus... sometimes I wanted to get some work done and knew that as soon as I arrived in a town the local gym leader would swarm me-"

"Thankfully not literally," Sirius said with a grin. "Thank Arceus for no Bug Gyms!"

Remus glared at Sirius before continuing. "-so I'd take the Knight's Bus rather than teleport right over. I've ridden with Stan. Chatted with him. I just... it's hard to believe he could do something like this. He seemed like a nice guy... bit of a bragger, sure, but a nice guy all the same. Just liked to claim a lot of things but 99% of them weren't true. He was dating all these beautiful women, he was friends with famous trainers, he had amazing Pokemon moves that would shock me, that sort of thing." He motioned to Neville he was done. "He probably just was bragging to someone when they were discussing all the attacks, trying to make himself sound big. Claim he had insider knowledge and someone misinterpreted."

Jack though shook his head. "Don't be so sure. Braggarts were a favorite of mine to turn into sources. Someone who thinks that they should be the Big Man when they are just the little nobody. Angry at the world for not respecting them, for not giving them the attention they think they deserve. I would meet with them, men and women who were pissed off that Kanto wasn't respecting them, that they'd lost League challenges or weren't selected to be Gym Leaders… Dark City gave me a lot of sources… and butter them up with complimenouldts and the next thing you know they are selling out troop movements all so they can feel special."

"This is something Voldemort would set up," Sirius pointed out, his jolly mood fading away. "Quiet campaigns of terror were always his favorite. Get a few Agents to sow terror and chaos with it never being truly linked back to him. Make everyone afraid to do the normal things in their life until they are jumping at shadows. Do you know what it does to a person when they go through their entire life in fear? How tiring it can get? And then Voldemort and his Admins offer a way out... all you have to do is let them do their thing. When your life isn't worth living because you're in a constant state of fear what does it matter who is in charge? Some welcomed Voldemort because at least he offered a reprieve."

"But would that really be worth the effort?" Ron asked. "Seems kinda... small... for Voldemort."

"Little acts can do big things," Clair pointed out.

Jack stretched and the Deepfake program, trying to follow his movements, caused one of his breasts to pop out. Which would have been funny if it weren't for Jack's serious voice coming out of the sexpot. Ginny scrambled to type commands on her dex. "Not all parts of war are grand affairs," Jack said, turning to Ron who did his best to look away without making it seem like he was looking away, lest he insult The Father of Johto. "A lot of it is shadow politics. Knives in the dark and things like that. Everyone talks about taking the Ghost or the Battle of Sevii but their forget all the little moves, the quiet actions that net allies or sow fear in the masses. Those matter all the more."

Jonas nodded in agreement. "Plus it's hard to see how an act might play out in a moment. Could be a domino that sets off a master plan."

"In the end," Diantha stated, "we have two questions: Is it actually happening and is this a trap?"

"And one doesn't cancel the other out," Cynthia pointed out while the teens sighed in relief as Ginny reprogrammed the Deepfake to cover Jack back up. "Could be the ministry setting a trap. Might not even be a trap in the traditional sense... we could go there and there would be nothing dangeorus. No harm... except now they have proof you're in constant contact with us, Harry."

"You get see how we handle the information," Ginny pointed out, gesturing at a muttering Luna. "See our circle of influence... like what newspapers we are talking to. We do nothing but feed it to the Quibbler and suddenly Luna's dad is being brought it."

Lance sighed. "And it could also be Voldemort and Team Nocturne. Set up an attack point, and when we rush in we accuse Stan of being guilty when it's just a fall guy. Innocent man gets blamed, we are discredited, and Nocturne better understands how we operate."

"Or they want to sow fear by using us to discredit Stan," Remus pointed out. "Maybe he bragged to the wrong people and got on Nocturne's bad side... or claimed he was behind the attacks of the Admins and they actually believe him. So rather than attack him they turn us into their hired muscle."

Ginny huffed. "He also could be guilty as sin and we are stopping a monster."

"Or walking into a trap," Lance reiterated.

"Or the trap isn't what we expect," Hermione said with a shrug. When the others looked at her, not following what she was trying to get at, she just held out her hands. "We think that it's a classic trap... we go in and it's an ambush. But what if they are thinking like we would and are setting up a larger game."

"Like?" Jasmine pressed.

Hermione waved her hand about. "Our network of people. Let's say we think its a trap so we decide to send a spy in. Maybe Tonks. Or maybe an Auror that Remus knows and is friends with. The point is we send them and the mission goes well, we stop Stan, good news right? Except Stan was a pawn in the chess game and we just exposed our Rook or our Bishop. And then they are able to launch something that takes out ALL of us. Instead of nabbing one or two people they get all of us."

"That's... actually a really good point," Jack admitted.

Harry grumbled. He knew the adults would be cautious and he understood that but he also didn't like sitting around when there was a chance that someone was getting hurt. That someone was suffering and he could have done something but he was too cautious, too concerned with his own safety, to do anything. Something had to be done. If Stan Stunpike was guilty they needed to eliminate him. If he were innocent they needed to clear his name, because what if they weren't the only ones getting the rumors thrown their way? And if it was a trap they needed to determine who had set it and-

"So what do we do next?" Hedwig asked in annoyance. "Because all this talking is borning."

"Nothing," Lance said firmly.

Harry started at that.

"What?" He said numbly before his shock turned to anger. "WHAT?!"

Neville raised his hand. "Let me join Harry in being rather surprised by that response."

Hermione was the third to join in, Ginny and Ron nodding in agreement. "I get that we don't know if this is some sort of trap but we have to do something. We can't-"

"That's where you're wrong," Clair said coldly. "There is no 'we' in this."

Remus nodded. "I'm with the Johtoians in this case. We'll look into it… you kids will focus on school and leave things to us."

"And that includes you, Jasmine," Jack stated.

"Da!" Jasmine exclaimed.

"No, Jasmine. You're out. You all are."

Harry though was far louder. "I brought you the message! You can't leave me out of this!"

"We can and we will," Diantha stated, folding her arms over her chest. "We always knew something like this could happen and we decided long ago that we'd handle things when it came up. You did good coming to us but-"

"I want to be a part of this. I need to be." Harry looked about, trying to find a sympathetic eye, but only found solid opposition. He felt his face heat up and his hands balled up into fists. "You can't-"

"Do you remember what Drayden told you?" Jack snapped, standing up and storming over to Harry. In one way it reminded Harry just how powerful the Father of Johto was… on the other hand the man looked like a blond bimbo and while from his end he was merely standing close to Harry looking down at him from Harry's perspective his face was shoved in the digital cleavage. "We will assist you, we will work with you, but you haven't proven yourself a leader yet. You haven't earned that. So if you want to wear the big boss pants that's fine… I will rip away every ounce of support I've provided you and you'll be on your own. No more advice, no more assistance, no more running missions and getting my hands bloody for you. You haven't even made it through fifth year, Harry… you don't boss me around. Understand?"

"Jack's being nice," Remus said firmly. "You push this and we'll begin working against you, to make sure you stay safe. And that doesn't do anyone any good if we are busy stopping you rather than the real villains."

He knew that he should have just let it go but he couldn't help it. To speak his mind and his fears. "But Stan could be right now hurting people and we-"

"THE MUMMY!" Luna screamed, shutting them all up. "It was from The Mummy! Evie says it! That is the reference! YES! YES! YEESSSSSSSSSSSSS! ARCEUS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" She tossed her head back and let out a rapturous scream before crumpling, panting with a blissed out smile on her face.

Everyone could only stare.

"Did… did she-?" Ron began.

"Yup," Jonas said, shaken.

"Right here in front of-"

"Uh huh."

Ginny swallowed. "Wow… Neville, lucky guy." The 'lucky guy' in question could only watch as Luna pulled out a candy cigarette and stuck it in her mouth.

"And on that note I think the meeting has come to an end," Lance said, face twisted in horror before he reached out and touched something out of sight and disappeared along with Jonas.

"We'll keep you up to date on this, pup," Sirius said as Cynthia, Clair, and Diantha also signed off. "And seriously… thank you. I know you want to help but… this is enough, for now. Thanks."

"Welcome," Harry said halfheartedly, Sirius grimacing before sadly signing off, Remus following.

Jack, having stepped away from Harry, let out a frustrated sigh. "I know you aren't happy about this but it is for the best. We just want you to be safe. All of you."

"We know," Harry murmured.

"Good. Now, I'm heading off to bleach my brain of Luna's…" he waved he hand over at the blonde who'd grabbed her dex and begun typing a letter to Pokehouse ('This never happened to me before but…'), "…that from my mind. Stay safe and Ginny, FYI, your Deepfake registered on our dexes too. Lance texted me the moment I appeared that you were giving us weird holocast forms so next time feel free to give me a bigger ass." And with a snarky smirk he pulled off his top, his girls bouncing free as the teens screamed and shielded their eyes. Jack scoffed before disappearing.

"So… I want to make sure of three things before I sign off," Jasmine said, still covering my eyes. "One, we all agree that Luna and Neville's sex life is going to be strange."

"There was never any doubt!" Luna chimed in.

"Two, my father needs to be hit for pulling that last stunt."

"Yes," Hermione growled, scrubbing her eyes as if to wash the image away. "I am scarred for life."

"And three, we are totally not listening to them and we're stopping Stan ourselves, right?"

Harry nodded grimly. "Hell yes."