Nothing prepares you for the moment your boyfriend tells you they killed someone. Danny was right, it was hard for her to get into the story and even harder to get her mind back out.
Lacey was shuffling back to her dorm after spending a couple of hours wading through all the shit Danny had gone through as a child. She couldn't seem to turn it off.
Lacey: I'm heading back
Phoebe: Word
Danny explained how he was often left alone to be watched by Tara and how one afternoon he had made his way into Vikram's office and rummaged around like a curious eleven year old would. He had found his father's antique gun and messed around with it, cocking the pistol that he had no idea was loaded. Tara came barging in looking for Danny, startling him and causing him to involuntarily pull the trigger.
Tara was hit in the neck and fell bleeding in the doorway. Danny couldn't climb over her to get out without disturbing her or stepping in the enormous amount of blood that had suddenly spilled out all around her. Instead, a terrified Danny waited in the corner of his father's office. He didn't know how to save her, he was frozen, paralyzed by fear and guilt.
Karen had come home first, the macabre scene viewed by her in reverse of Danny's view. She instinctively ran toward Tara before realizing that the dark pool all around her was blood. She screamed in fear for Danny who was still crying in a ball in the corner of Vikram's office.
Once Danny was able to calm down enough to explain what had happened, Tara's death was ruled an accident. It was Vikram that was arrested and ultimately put on probation for not having properly secured his firearm and thus endangering the welfare of a child.
Danny had returned to school almost immediately following the accident. Karen hadn't sought therapy for him at first because Danny had seemed to cope well on his own. As soon as the kids at school connected the tragedy with Danny, however, he began to come undone. This was also when Karen had lost her sense of reality.
Phoebe: You texted me a half hour ago, are you good?
Lacey: I'm sorry, I'm almost there
Phoebe: I can't wait to hear how the jumpsuit worked out!
Lacey cringed as she thought about how to explain this night to Phoebe. The original plan was maybe some hot sex followed by working out their schedules through the new year. She definitely had not anticipated becoming a stripper followed by two vastly different versions of true crime she had yet to reconcile that both involved her boyfriend killing someone.
Once back at her dorm, Lacey explaining her peepshow was enough of the story to illicit some empathy along with a major dose of second-hand embarrassment from Phoebe. Lacey was too drained to go into anything else.
Lacey ran solo the next morning, Phoebe still buzzing and headed for a major hangover from all of the Jell-O shots she had made and sucked down entirely by herself last night and into the early hours of the morning.
As she made her way around the gymnasium, Lacey spied Archie jogging toward her. He made a point to turn around and run with her in tandem. She popped one of her earbuds out but didn't say anything.
"Danny okay?" Archie huffed out alongside her.
"I guess so, why?"
"He wasn't up for warm ups with me this morning, know anything about that?" Archie asked as if he was accusing her of something.
"Nope."
"Look, I hope you realize that everything you do affects him. Affects me. Did you have a fight or something?"
"I haven't talked to him yet today. Maybe he's just busy. I'm not in charge of him, I have my own shit to do."
"Jesus, sounds like you'd fight with him all the time. Are you always this combative?"
"Fuck off."
"I'll take that as a yes. Did he tell you about our time away?" Archie asked, wanting to hurt her somehow in the worst way.
"I don't talk about Danny's private life with anyone."
"He let me destroy him—"
Lacey stopped abruptly, pulling out her other earbud and taking a second to catch her breath.
"Would Danny appreciate whatever bullshit is coming out of your mouth right now? He doesn't talk about you with me—"
"But you do know about this last trip—"
"I do, but only as a courtesy. I don't need the details, like I said, it's private. You should be protecting him—"
"A courtesy." Archie squished his face up in equal parts curiosity and irritation.
"Yeah, Arch, something you obviously know nothing about. We were not together exclusively during your last away stretch. We're together now, so he told me he had been with someone else. It wasn't a big deal."
"You do realize how much overall ass he's had, right? Girls, guys, he's been inside of more SU students than he hasn't been."
"Thank you for the update." Lacey winced, nice reminder, she thought to herself.
"He'll get bored again, he'll want his ass drilled again—"
Lacey looked at Archie as if he were wasting her time, because he was. She took a moment to reset her hair.
"He missed me." Archie insisted, grinning wickedly.
"What is your end game here?" Lacey shrugged, "Are you just trying to hurt me?"
"Aww, are you gonna go run and tell him?"
"I'm sorry, okay?" Lacey said instead of reacting to Archie's baby voice like he had been fishing for.
"You're sorry? For what, stealing the only light in my life? Giving him back for a couple weeks and then stealing him again? Yeah, okay thanks."
"No. I'm sorry you're taking your frustration out on me when that energy should be focused on putting yourself back together. I'm sorry you can't see me as an ally, as a friend. I'm sorry you can't live the way you want. What I am not sorry about is falling in love with Danny. I am not sorry that he loves me back. You know what it feels like."
Archie's jaw flexed a few times before he nodded.
"I do."
"You can't tell me that if he had picked you, you would waste one second worrying about how I felt about it."
"I miss him."
Lacey stuffed her ear buds back in her ears, done with Archie's bullshit.
"He didn't pick you, Archie. Danny and I chose each other. He's mine." She almost growled before taking off again and leaving Archie standing there in a puddle of rage.
Lacey had early morning studio time booked before her fine art class was to begin. After her run, she was pumped to finally move all of her stuff safely back into the studio and not have her work hanging precariously around every available surface in her dorm. Phoebe was too.
Standing up to Jo and Archie and their bullshit over the last week had renewed her drive to succeed. Lacey had always been motivated, but Danny definitely threw her a curveball that she was still navigating. At first, he stalled her when he swept her off her feet, and now she was sorting through the pre-college horror show that was Danny's childhood. It was time to refocus on herself.
Phoebe was ready to go when Lacey returned to take a quick shower. She wore the yellow plaid skirt and black turtle neck she had wanted to wear the night before. She pulled on her knee-high black boots and left her hair out.
"You are rocking alllll of that. Damn." Phoebe assessed as they walked out of their dorm with arms full of canvases and supplies.
"Oh, Lacey, hey—" Lacey's RA stopped her in the hallway.
"Hey, Sarita."
"Tell Danny he still owes me for the other night." She said suggestively before turning to walk away.
"Uh, yeah, okay—"
"The fuck did that mean?" Phoebe asked like she just smelled dead fish.
"No clue. I guess I'm Danny's wingman now?" Lacey wondered out loud.
"Better not be. You're back together right?"
Lacey trudged along in silence next to Phoebe for a few steps while she let the question hang.
"Um, did I miss something?" Phoebe tried again.
"We're together."
Phoebe knew there was more behind Lacey's answer but let it go for now because neither of them had coffee yet. The conversation would be useless. They couldn't stop with all they had to carry, both of them reluctantly passing by the shitty coffee stand.
As they walked up the hill, Sarita's comment and Archie's desperation swirled around in Lacey's head like a perfect storm. She looked around at the students walking around campus and wondered how many of them had been previously serviced by Danny's open lifestyle.
Maybe that part of his life played a role in working to overcome his trauma. Being rejected and bullied for endless middle and high school days spanning years, having no friends, no romantic relationships, maybe his open college lifestyle was how he achieved the acceptance he hadn't felt in so long.
The network of friends and lovers that Danny had crafted must have made him feel protected and like his life mattered to people again. Lacey couldn't help but think that maybe a monogamous relationship wasn't the best thing for him, despite their feelings for each other.
The people from the new life he had created last year obviously missed him and wanted him back. Lacey felt like a burden to all at the moment and began to doubt that she could continue like this and still achieve her own success.
"Just drop them here." Lacey pointed and helped Phoebe set down the stack of work she was carrying for her, "Thank you, Phoebs." She gave her roommate a hug.
"C'mon let's go get coffee now—" Phoebe pleaded, feeling Lacey's interest in leaving the studio begin to dwindle.
"I'll get some later—" Lacey said, happily propping up her refurbished pieces in the order they belonged in.
Phoebe left and returned ten minutes later with a large coffee for Lacey.
"I've got you. Make this shit happen."
Phoebe swirled her finger around, pointing to all of Lacey's work before tapping her cup against Lacey's and heading out without waiting for the thank you she knew Lacey would give.
"I love you, bitch!" Lacey yelled anyway.
Danny: Happy Monday, love
Lacey: Morning
Danny: Sorry I missed shamelessly ogling you during your run today, so busy this morning
Lacey: Sarita says you still owe her
Damn, Sarita's insinuation bothered her more than she had realized at the time. Just running back through the sound of Sarita's voice made her doubt Danny's loyalty. Could he still be creeping?
Danny: Okay, thanks
Lacey: Have a good day
Danny: Lacey, are we okay?
Lacey: I'm in the studio, I can't really talk rn
Danny: Gotcha, I'll catch up with you later
Lacey chugged her coffee and made the final touches to her collection that would be due by the end of class. She had never felt more relieved to move on from this part of her life. Jo had successfully destroyed her first collection, but Lacey would not allow that to ever happen again.
The second time, she literally pieced each canvas back together, cutting off chunks from one and gluing them and sewing them to others. Once she was done, she stretched the new work over the frames herself.
The pieces felt dirty, heavy and dark. The collection had six pieces, each work helping to spell out a story of anxiety, suffocation and death. Lacey was nervous that her professor would not see her vision, but at this point, this was the collection and she'd take whatever grade was coming. It was time to move on.
Luckily, her professor arrived before the rest of her class had filtered in. It gave her a quiet moment with each piece. Lacey stayed silent as her professor moved down the line, pausing and taking in each one. She nodded at the end and walked back to her station to prepare for the class. Lacey couldn't take her professor's temperature on her work, but tried to let it all go, it was done.
The class eventually wandered in and got set up, several of them coming over to check out and praise Lacey's unique work. They had all been curious about her pieces since she had them hoarded in her dorm for obvious reasons.
"Alright, break starts tomorrow, this is our last assignment until next semester. Pick your medium and commit to it before I reveal what we're doing.."
Lacey set up her giant sketch pad on her easel and decided she'd do whatever was asked of her in charcoal. As she adjusted her stool, her professor walked up onto the the little display stage and yanked the cloth off a painting of a nude woman.
"This isn't high school anymore folks, today we're going to work with a live body model. This was my first live body piece. I want you to focus on what you see, is it detail? Shape? Texture? What do you wish to capture? Passion? Anatomy? Race? Gender? I want you to capture the thing that makes this model human to you. Capture what matters to you. We're only doing this for this one class, so plan wisely."
Lacey hopped off her stool and moved her easel so she would better be able to see the stage. A nude model sounded refreshing, she wanted a break from her emotions. She wanted to capture lines. A single line that would run a simple yet identifiable outline of the model with simple details that would highlight character. That's what was important to her.
The supply room door opened as she sat back down and blunted the edge of one of her pencils. The model walked into place and that's when Lacey looked up. It was Danny.