"I didn't really want to live,
so anything that was an investment in time
made me angry...but I also just felt sad."
-Angelina Jolie

The bulging folder of medical records slammed onto the desk a little too forcefully in front of a dark-skinned girl with glasses. The action clearly startled her, causing her glasses to be knocked askew.

Margot smiled sheepishly and gave a wave. "Hi ya! Erm, Rosalyn Greene for 10:30? These are her medical records and insurance card, in case you wanted to make any copies."

The girl straightened her glasses and smiled.

"Oh, perfect! Yes, let me get those copies finished for you. Then, I'll get her vitals. Doc's running a little late this morning."

The lobby was small and quaint - it looked more like someone's refurbished basement then a medical space. The green spotted wallpaper was peeling in places, and the hard, blue waiting chairs looked as though they belonged in a public school. There was a small, black square TV in the corner that looked like it was made in the '90's - there was a Queen of Sauce rerun describing how to make the perfect cake for a spring picnic. I expected there to be some contrast from Zuzu's high tech hospitals, but this was truly night and day.

The girl behind the front desk, whose name tag read Maru, brought me into a side room to obtain my vitals. Margot looked like she wanted to come with, but I gave her a sign to stay back for now.
Maru was wearing some kind of subtle perfume with a sandalwood scent. She was efficient as she worked. I could see that her movements were practically automatic, as were mine. Although the office space was different to those I've known in the past, the actual routine of it all was the same: the beep of the thermometer scanner, the firm pressure and release of the blood pressure cuff, the cool touch of the stethoscope, the soft touch to my wrist for my pulse. I didn't bother to ask for the readings, because, honestly, who cares at this point? It won't really make a difference.

I noticed there was no ID badge on her indicating her title.

"Are you a nurse?" I asked softly.

Maru smiled. "Nothing quite so formal. I'm a bit of everything here - lab tech, phlebotomist, IT gal...whatever the doc wants me to be, really. Equipment often goes haywire...as do the patients."

I held out my arm and rolled up my sleeve to expose my translucent, chalky skin in preparation for the blood draw. When I looked down, all I saw were hard protrusions of bone and vibrant blue veins. I looked away quickly - I hated looking at myself anymore and, even after all this time, I don't like to watch the needles go in.

It was strange having someone else draw my blood, since Margot was the person who used to do it all the time for me. Maru had no trouble, however, filling up 4 vials, giving me a glass of water and a licorice candy, and bringing me into a separate room where Margot waited for me.

There was a knock against the wall next to where the curtain was drawn. After a few beats, Dr. Harvey came in looking out of breath with a coffee cup in one hand and a clipboard in the other. He was tall with a slender build. Although he had a professional air about him, his unkempt hair, wrinkled lab coat and lopsided stethoscope also gave the impression of someone who walked through a tornado.

"Hi, it's been a bit of a crazy morning. I'm Dr. Harvey. I remember meeting Margot, but I don't think I met you. It's a pleasure."

He sat on a black stool and wheeled himself over to me. He gave me a firm handshake and had a warm smile. Then, he said, "Neuro isn't exactly my specialty. But, I feel strongly about taking a holistic approach to patient care. I promise I'll do my best to take care of you."

Dr. Harvey continued to look at me when talking, which I appreciated. Oftentimes, doctors would ask me questions when they were in the middle of doing multiple things at once. "We'll be pals, Doc.", I said.

Dr. Harvey dragged his pen down a few areas on his clipboard before he said, "How have you been doing physically? How often and how long have your seizures been occurring?"

"Fine, better than before...they're small, like 1-2 per day and about a minute long usually. No major ones. I've even had a few days where there were none. The NeuroPace is great and really helps keep track of everything, when I remember to bring it with me." I tapped the object at my hip. It looked no different from a brown, threaded bag. I continued, "It's mainly the side effects and the migraines that suck right now."

Dr. Harvey looked thoughtful and scrunched his mouth below his mustache. "I'm going to take a closer look at your medication list and blood work to see if anything can be removed or changed to maybe give you some more relief. I'm glad to see you carry the magnet around with you. What about your mental health?"

I felt myself shift uncomfortably and rub the clammy sweat from my palms onto my lap. I looked over to Margot and noticed her brows were furrowed as she worried her bottom lip. She was purposely looking at the floor. How much did he know? How much was written in my record?

"F-fine. I'm fine." I said softly.

Although he looked like he wanted to push the subject further, he dropped it. "You're lucky you have someone to look after you. Please, if anything comes up or if either of you want to review anything with me, stop by anytime. Let's check in once every couple of weeks to make sure we are on track."

We left soon after. As we walked in the direction of our farm, Margot nudged me and said, "So, what did you think? Did you like your new doctor?"

"I thought he was fine." I said. "What about you? You're the one who usually gets into arguments and claim to know more then they do. I was surprised you were actually quiet."

Margot scratched the side of her head and laughed, "We've chatted before and I was able to give him a bit of an interview. I think he seems like...a pretty nice guy. I think he has the right heart for medicine, which can be so rare these days. So many people just do it for the money."

There was no need to say anything further because, to me, it didn't really matter. Good doctor or not, my fate was still sealed - I was shackled into a condition for the rest of my life which would always feel like a noose around my neck. I was thankful for the doctors and thankful for Margot, truly. Yet, I do wish that all the fuss would stop. It wasn't going to get much better then it already has - I wish they would just leave me alone.

Margot and I developed a bit of a routine. At 6:00am, Margot would go for a run while I woke up, took my medicine, and showered.

At 7:00am, Margot will water all the crops (I would help...with what she would let me help with).

At 8:00am, Margot would check on the slowly growing number of farm animals. I would check our little cave for any new mushrooms.

At 9:00am, Margot would drag me to Pierre's to see if any seeds or saplings were on sale (It didn't matter to her that Jojo's was cheaper and had better sales, she refused to go there).

Between 10:00am - 5:30pm, Margot pulled weeds, searched for berries, explored the land, and would catch up with the neighbors. I would read underneath one of our many trees on the farm or take small walks and take pictures with our camera. I never strayed too far.

At 5:30pm, we would have dinner together and begin to wind down. Sometimes, we would even talk about our day. It was nice that Margot listened when I told her about my books. Margot apparently went to some kind of Egg Festival where she brought home a large pink plush bunny that now resides in our livingroom.

It's been a little over 2 weeks since this routine started for us. Margot was planting some last minute seeds later in the afternoon when she said, "You know, you're not going to make new friends by stuffing your face in a book for the rest of your life."

I didn't take my eyes off of the book. "That's kind of the point?"

Margot sighed, wiped the sweat on her forehead, threw down her small garden trowel, walked over and plopped down next to me. "I really don't want to be a nag, but the sun is setting and you're going to hurt your eyes with this lighting. Also, didn't I tell you to pay closer attention to your posture? If you keep hunching over like that, you're going to regret it when you have arthritis."

I didn't respond.

"Rosie! You're young! You're only 22! You have your whole life ahead of you! There are so many great things to do and so many interesting people just waiting to meet you!"

I snorted. "Overrated."

Margot got close to my ear—, a strange smile sprawled across on her face that I tried to ignore—, and whispered, "I don't know about you...but I'm feeling 22…"

"Don't you dare. That song is so bad."

The fading orange sunlight hit my face as Margot swiftly pulled the book from my hands.

"Hey!"

"That's for insulting her highness, TSwift."

I let a small smirk escape. "Can I have my book back, please?"

"Hmmmmm." Margot cocked her hip and tapped on her mouth, pretending to think really hard. "How about...you go out and see the town a bit or maybe, actually, gasp, talk to someone! Then, and only then... I'll think about giving the book back."

I tried to grab the book back from her, but she shoved it under her armpit and ran into the woods.

I looked around and sighed. It was getting to be the end of the day anyway. There shouldn't be too many people around, especially if I avoid the main road.

I decided to take a walk. The dirt road up north brought me past a charming log house with a blue roof. Although the surrounding terrain was rocky, the road was smooth. Eventually, I reached a large lake that I had never seen before.

This was actually really nice, peaceful even. The lake was still except for a few pockets of ripples - I guessed they were caused by fish but I was not sure. The orange glow cast by the remaining sunbeams displayed a beautiful contrast against the crystal blue lake. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I tried to focus on the sound of water tumbling against stone and air gliding through the surrounding trees. Yes, I needed this. It felt so good to get some tranquil alone time, just myself and nature, without anyone bothering m-

"Oh. You just moved in, right?"

Oh no. I turned and found the man from the pier standing behind me with a lit cigarette between his fingers. The image of the vulnerable, pathetic woman, who was shivering and crying in the rain swam into my mind. A woman who was supposed to be having that moment of crisis to herself. Yet another moment of solitude that was stolen by a stranger…

I could see his features better in the firelight with each drag of his cigarette before the puff of air was expelled. He held more youth in his face up close. I wondered if his black hair was natural or dyed.

In response to his question, I gave a thumbs up with the best smile I could manage, then proceeded to look back at the lake with my arms firmly crossed. Hopefully, he was smart enough to pick up on obvious social queues. Instead, he just took another drag and came to stand next to me by the water. Great.

"Cool. You're...Margot, right?"

I sighed. "Nope. That's my sister. I'm just the tagalong."

He smirked. "And...out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?" The cigarette in his mouth was warping his words a little, but I still caught the inflection. His statement pissed me off in and of itself, but the cigarette smoke wafting in my face is what made me snap.

"And out of all the things you could do on a lovely evening, you chose to fuck up my peace with your disgusting cigarette? I have enough problems without you tainting my air and giving me cancer."

Instead of taking another drag, his mouth remained slightly open. He looked right at me with those same deep, dark eyes from before. They were unnerving.

I looked down. I guess I went too far. Although it's probably better for him to think I'm a bitch, I couldn't help but mumble, "Sorry. I don't know you. I came here to be alone, so..."

His face contorted briefly before he started choking on suppressed laughter.

This bastard was...laughing at me?

Then, he said, "When I take walks, I do my best to avoid everyone. I hate being pressured into small talk. Just… kinda ironic." He took one final drag before dropping his cigarette to the ground and stomping out the flame with his shoe.

I didn't miss the guilty expression on his face or the slight color that rose into his cheeks. Maybe he's not so arrogant after all?

"How about we just enjoy the space together as two strangers and cut the bullshit?" He said.

"What do you mean?"

"We both hate small talk so...let's skip it. We'll only say something if there's actually something to say."

"Okay..."

"Cool. See you around, tagalong."