"HAKU!" Naruto jumps on Haku, knocking her to the ground with the force of his hug.
Sasuke wonders where she's seen this Akatsuki member before. Oh, that's right. That's the chick she met in the forest in the Land of Waves. The one that inspired Sasuke to dye her hair blue.
"Oh, do you two know each other?" asks Sasuke's Dad from his seat at the head of the meeting table. They are in the council room, waiting for everyone to arrive for the meeting about Zetsu. The Konoha elders are present, along with the clan heads and Wind and Rain. Sasuke and Naruto are attending because they are instrumental in the plan to defeat Zetsu and stop Kaguya from returning.
"Yeah, we met in the Land of Waves," says Naruto.
"She's the Ice Style User I told you about," adds Sasuke.
"Ah, I see," says Sasuke's Dad. "Where are your comrades? There were four of you last time I checked."
"We lost the new girl, so Kisame and Kakuzu went to find her," says Haku, smiling softly. "They will arrive once they do."
"Can we wait for them?" asks Rain from his seat at the other end of the table to Sasuke's Dad. "They have news that might affect our plans."
"Is everyone willing to wait?" Sasuke's Dad asks the assembled council.
They all agree except Shikaku Nara, who already fell asleep on the meeting table.
"Very good," says Sasuke's Dad, and they all settle down to wait.
Five minutes later, three more Akatsuki members arrive. A huge blue man who has a weird spiky thing on a leash, a guy in a mask and a blonde girl about Itachi's age.
"Sorry we are late," says the creepy guy in the mask. "The blonde one wandered off to go and find something to blow up."
"I blew up a wall!" says the blonde one. "The people appreciated my art."
"What people? What did you blow up?" demands Wind.
"She blew up the wall around that ghetto on the edge of town," says the fish man. "The construction workers and that one pregnant chick seemed cool with it."
"Speaking of which," says the creepy guy. "Rain, remind me to talk to Yahiko about recruiting Itachi Uchiha for Akatsuki."
"Ghetto?" says Choza Akimichi, confused. "We don't have a ghetto in the Leaf, do we?"
"Yes we do," says Sasuke's Dad, sounding a little embarrassed. "I live there."
"Well you don't have a wall anymore," says the blonde one cheerfully. "I turned it into art."
"Good," says Sasuke's Dad, nodding firmly. He gestures to the three empty seats beside Haku, who managed to ditch Naruto and take a seat in the five minute wait. "Take a seat. Everyone, these three are Kakuzu of the Hidden Waterfall, Kisame Hoshigaki of the Hidden Mist and Deidara of the Hidden Stone. Kisame, Kakuzu, Deidara: these people are the Leaf clan heads, our elders, my kid Sasuke, and our local head prankster Naruto. Now that we are all introduced, let's begin the meeting." Fugaku Folds his hands on the table. "Before we begin the important business, does anyone have any questions?"
"I have one," says Shikaku. "I would like to know how our Akatsuki guests managed to recruit a Stone ninja to Akatsuki."
"Oh," says Wind. "We were approached by the Hidden Stone a month ago. They wanted us to quietly get rid of a problem kunoichi, who kept terrorising the Stone Village and the country. They were at their wits' end, and out of other options, so they came to us. We told them we had a better solution: we could take Deidara here under our wing if they agreed to an alliance with Akatsuki and the Hidden Rain. The Tsuchikage was reluctant to ally with us until Deidara decided his house wasn't artistic enough."
"It was one of my best explosions," sighs Deidara, blissfully.
"Yeah, he gave in as soon as he saw his house blow up," laughs Rain. "So now we have a lovely, pyromaniac artist on our team."
"And soon we will have that Itachi chick too," adds Kakuzu. "It's been a long time since I've met someone I didn't want to kill."
Sasuke pulls a face. Itachi can't join Akatsuki, she's pregnant.
"Does Itachi know she is joining Akatsuki?" asks Sasuke's Dad evenly.
"Oh, you know that chick?" says Kisame, grinning. He is unaware that he is walking on thin ice by calling Itachi 'that chick'. "It was her idea to join Akatsuki. She threatened to turn Kakuzu in for his bounty and steal his job. But we like her, and Samehada thinks she has nice chakra-"
"She does," agrees Karin's mum from her end of the table.
"-That chick also said something about working while she makes the baby-daddy raise the brat," continues Kisame. Sasuke sees her Dad's eyebrows lower into a dangerous frown. "I gotta say, I like the idea of swapping Kakuzu out for someone Samehada likes. And if that chick wants in once she has her baby, that would be awesome, even if Kakuzu doesn't leave."
"Kisame," says Sasuke's Dad, lowering his sunglasses and placing them on the table. "That's my daughter you are talking about. Watch yourself." His rinnegan spin slowly.
Kisame's face drops a little as he realizes he was talking disrespectfully about the Hokage's daughter.
Sasuke smirks, but does not say anything.
"Now, shall we get back to the meeting?" says Sasuke's Dad, raising his eyebrows pointedly.
"Yes, do," says the elder Koharu. "What is this meeting really about? Is it about this business with the Sacred Scrolls of the Hidden Whirlpool?"
"Yes, it is," confirms the Hokage. "For those of you who do not know, the Sacred Scrolls of the Hidden Whirlpool were written by the Second Hokage, Kagami Uchiha and Ashina Uzumaki. They each hold half of a sealing jutsu and a record of the history of the Senju, Uzumaki, Uchiha and Umino clans. We are directly descended from Kaguya Otsutsuki. Our enemy Zetsu is her youngest son. His goal is to revive her, and to do that, he needs all nine Tailed Beasts and an ancient statue. If Kaguya is revived, the entire world will be cast into a genjutsu and used as a chakra farm. We cannot allow that to happen, so we must stop Zetsu.
"Stopping Zetsu is Akatsuki's goal. We are allied with Akatsuki so we will aid that cause," he continues. "The seal recorded in the scrolls was specially made in order to seal away Zetsu. However, it has not been tested properly yet and it requires two very specific people to use it. Those two people are the two sons of the Sage of Six Paths: Indra and Ashura Otsutsuki."
"But they died a long time ago," says Inoichi, frowning. "The jutsu is unusable."
"They reincarnated," says Sasuke's Dad gravely. "Indra and Ashura grew to despise each other so much that they had to reincarnate to finish their fight. The cycle can only be broken if the reincarnations truly become friends. The Sacred Scroll from the Temple of Joe has two seals that can be used to find the reincarnations. After much searching, we finally found the current reincarnations purely by accident because Naruto is Naruto."
"So who are they then?" asks the elder Homura.
"Sasuke is Indra and Naruto is Ashura," says Wind, calmly. "That is why they are at this meeting."
Inoichi, Shikaku, Choza and Okami start laughing. Hiashi sniggers and Shino's Dad adjusts his sunglasses. Tsume Inuzuka raises her eyebrows and disbelievingly says, "Really?"
"Wow," says Deidara, grinning. "Indra must've been awesome in his previous life if he reincarnated into a girl."
"I was Madara Uchiha," whispers Sasuke, looking down and wringing her hands. No one hears her because Tsume starts laughing maniacally while Sasuke is speaking.
Sasuke's Dad face palms. "Quiet," he says. "We are not here to discuss why one of the reincarnations is female. We are here to discuss the security arrangements Naruto and Sasuke will need while they learn the sealing jutsu."
"Wind and I will be a part of their security detail," says Rain. "And I am sure that Kurama's Guards will assist us. We will need to find a safe location to train Naruto and Sasuke in."
"What's wrong with training them here in the Leaf?" asks Homura banging his stick on the floor irritably.
"Zetsu can easily pass in and out of the barrier around the Leaf without raising the alarm," says Wind. "We need to take Naruto and Sasuke to a location that is easy to defend and that Zetsu will have trouble getting in and out of."
"What about the old Uchiha temple?" asks Sasuke's Dad. "It is easy to defend and has chakra coded barrier seals that, once activated, should keep out Zetsu."
"That might work," agrees Rain thoughtfully.
"I have a better idea," says Naruto loudly. "Why don't we go to the Temple of Jashin? It's surrounded by a wall of fire that burns anything that touches it unless you fill the requirements to get past. Since I became the leader of the Order of Jashin, the entire Order would help us fight Zetsu if I asked them, 'tebayo."
"Send them to the Temple of Jashin," says Okami firmly.
"Yes, Okami sama," says Sasuke's Dad.
"Is she allowed to give you orders?" asks Kakuzu.
"She's the Uzumaki Queen," says Sasuke's Dad. "She can give anyone orders."
"Oh, I see," says Kakuzu, nodding. "The world would be better off if a Queen sat on the Whirlpool throne again. I remember when the big five Hidden Villages were built. The Whirlpool was already a great power that no one dared mess with. Without the Whirlpool, the other Hidden Villages have grown weak and complacent. Shinobi are not what they used to be."
"Haha, you're old!" laughs Naruto, pointing at Kakuzu. "Hey, Mr. Nice Hokage, I want all of Team Seven to come on this mission, not just Sasuke and me. Can Kakashi sensei and Madoka come too?"
"Alright," agrees Sasuke's Dad. "Kakashi and Madoka will accompany you and Sasuke as bodyguards along with Wind, Rain, Kurama's Guards and Iruka. Is there anyone else you want to drag along for the ride, Naruto?"
"Nope, that's good, 'tebayo."