AN: Merry Christmas from myself and Ignus Dracorex. (Remember him? You should, because he's the reason this gets written.)
BOOOM!
Bank tellers dive in all directions, screaming as Deidara turns their vault door into 'art'. Kakuzu nods approving as he watches the chaos. Deidara lets loose a gleeful cackle and yells, "BEHOLD MY ART!"
Kakuzu strides forward, through Deidara's explosions, and entres the bank vault. An explosion marks his entrance into the vault with perfect timing, sending a strong breeze past him. The breeze causes the stacks of bank notes to flutter up into the air, surrounding Kakuzu as he strides towards his prize. Another explosion from outside the vault sends the rest of the money flying around. Kakuzu stretches out his arms and closes his eyes, breathing in his glorious fortune as it gently floats to the ground around him.
When the explosions stop and the money finally settles, Kakuzu lowers his arms and opens his eyes. Then he places his briefcase on the ground, opens it and activates the seal inside. All the money in the vault is sucked into the briefcase. Once it is all gone, Kakuzu closes the briefcase with a snap and picks it up. Now in possession of a ton of money, Kakuzu leaves the vault. It is time to collect Deidara and go back to the Hidden Rain, where Kakuzu plans to count the money slowly and carefully, many times. Of course, once he has counted the money, Kakuzu will give 3% to the Akatsuki fund. The amount is big enough that 3% will keep Yahiko off Kakuzu's back about surrendering a portion of profits to Akatsuki.
When Kakuzu exits the vault, he sees Deidara sitting on a pile of rubble, surveying her handiwork. "That was beautiful art," she sighs, happily.
"Yes it was," agrees Kakuzu. "Once I have counted our winnings, I will give you 1% of the loot."
Deidara cups her chin in her hand and says, "I did half the work, I should get half the money."
"You know, if I killed you after robbing this bank, getting a pay cut from Akatsuki would mean nothing," says Kakuzu calmly. "And there would be no witness to the fact we robbed this bank so there would be no reason for me to surrender any to Yahiko, leaving me rich and happy and you dead."
Deidara makes an unhappy noise. "10%?" she asks hopefully.
"One."
"Nine?"
"One, and unless you want me to make it 0.5%, I suggest you stop trying to haggle."
Deidara blows up her fringe in exasperation and says, "Give me however much you were going to give Yahiko and I won't tell him we robbed this bank. You won't have to give him anything."
Kakuzu is about to threaten to give her nothing, but Deidara sees the look on his face and interrupts before he can begin.
"I can even come up with a legitimate story to cover our absence," she says, grinning. "After all, we know where all the bijuu guards live, and I also happen to know the identities of the two stone Jinchuuriki. The Temple of the Four Tails is not far from here. We can pretend finding them is what we were actually doing."
Kakuzu frowns in thought. He could pretend he was only going to give Yahiko 2% of the money. But no, Deidera is smart enough to see through that. A longer time spent away from headquarters means more opportunity to collect bounties… "Deal," says Kakuzu, holding out his hand for Deidara to shake. "You get 3% of the money from the vault on the condition you don't tell anyone we were here or what we did."
Deidara shakes. "And now, we pay a visit to the Water Screen Cave to tell Son Goku's Guards where their Monkey King is."
"We are not escorting them," says Kakuzu firmly.
"Of course not," says Deidara, grinning. "But we are going to pay a visit to Kokuo's Guards as well. They aren't far from a nice, big bank."
Kakuzu smiles. This kid isn't so bad after all.
Namiko screams in horror as the zetsu brings its kunai down on the helpless Jashinist.
Clang! The kunai is knocked out of the zetus hand by a glowing chakra chain.
"Huh?" Namiko's mouth drops open in confusion. What just happened? She turns to look at the tree line and sees the last person she thought she would see.
Burifu Uzumaki is standing in the grass, an expression of pure rage on her face. Her hair floats around her like a crimson halo as a second chain erupts from her back and binds the zetsu tightly. "How. Dare. You. Attack MY FRIEND!" Burifu growls, stomping towards the zetsu.
The other zetsus leap to attack Burifu, but they are instantly cut down. All of the zetsus die in one fell swoop. The Order of Steve in its entirety steps out of the trees; from the oldest (Pantsu) to the youngest baby: they are all there and they are all mad.
"How dare you attack the baby Umino, eh," growls Pantsu as he tosses aside the dead body of a white zetsu.
"Burifu!" Namiko runs over and hugs her friend. "How did you know we were here?"
"I felt your chakra," says Burifu, hugging Namiko a little too tightly.
Namiko is used to tight hugs now, so she just grins and says, "You saved our lives!"
"That was the point of us coming, little dudette," says Pantsu, shuffling over and patting Namiko on the head.
"Who are these people?" asks the Jashinist.
"They're the Order of Steve," says Namiko.
"The Order of Steve?" says the Jashinist, pushing himself up on his elbows and wincing in pain. "We are on our way to the Hidden Leaf to get help because the Temple of Jashin is under attack. Four of our comrades were killed along the way. Please help us."
"Naruto and my Daddy are at the Temple of Jashin!" pipes up Namiko. "Black Zetsu wants to kill Naruto and his friend Sasuke. And...and there's so many Zetsus and so few of us!"
"Woah," says Pantsu, holding up a hand. "There is no need ta try and convince me. The Four Shinigami Orders help each other. Besides, even if Naruto wasn't at the Temple of Jashin, we would still help on his behalf, since he is our brother too, eh." Then he turns to his family. "Alright, you lot! Everyone below acolyte rank is to escort these three ta the Leaf, eh. The rest of us are going ta the Temple of Joe ta help our cousins, eh."
"What do I do?" asks Burifu. "I don't have a rank."
"You go with your friend," says Pantsu. "This is your time to prove you are worthy to lead the Order when I die."
Burifu salutes and gives Pantsu a determined nod. "Yes Gramps Pants!"
"Yo, Gramps," says one of the Steveites, crouching down, and motioning to Pantsu to climb on his back. "Get on. We gotta go fast!" Pantsu does so, and half of the Order of Steve vanishes into the trees.
Madoka runs over to the Jashinist and takes a look at his leg. Then he charges his hands up with chakra, grabs the leg, and pulls on it. Namiko starts crying again because the noise the broken bone makes is disturbing.
The Jashinist screams loudly and makes a noise similar to what Namiko's mummy makes when she is alone and thinks Namiko can't hear. "That pain is so good…" moans the Jashinist.
"What the f****..." mutters Madoka as he fuses the bone back together.
The Jashinist enjoys the pain while it lasts, which scares Namiko, so she cries harder and latches onto Burifu.
The rest of the Steveites just stare at the Jashinist as he moans in ecstasy, screams in pain and foams at the mouth.
Madoka sneakily pulls a needle out of his medical pack and injects the Jashinist. The Jashinist passes out instantly. "That was creepy," he says, and starts bandaging the Jashinist's leg.
"I'll carry him," says one of the adult Steveists. A few of the ones who stayed are adults or teenagers, but most are children. The adult hoists the Jashinist onto his back while Madoka makes sure that the Jashinist's leg is okay.
Once the Jashinist is safely on the Steveist's back, Burifu says, "Let's go to the Leaf! If anyone is feeling down, you know where we keep the liquid courage!" Then she pulls out a bottle of something foul tasting and forces it down Namiko's throat. "Drink up, kid. You need some of that courage I mentioned."
"Wait!" Protests Madoka, trying to stop Burifu from giving Namiko the liquid courage. "She's too young for alcohol!"
Burifu tosses Madoka the bottle. "You have some too. It'll put hair on your chest, or something."
Madoka drinks it. "Huh," he says. "That tasted better than Lady Tsunade's sake, shannaro."
"ALRIGHT!" yells Burifu, leaping into the air, and throwing her arms out. "Let's get going!"