LIFE IS THE ART OF CHOICE
Hello everyone. I'm happy to be here with you. Recently I don't have much time to write, but fortunately, I manage to do it during the weekends. An idea for this story appeared in my head this week. It's going to be AU-meaning it will not be the same as in the series and it will involve one of my favorite plots-Joe Burns, Elsie and Charles.
Long story short-Elsie and Charles are circling around the subject of being together, but they haven't estabilished anything concrete yet. When Elsie is almost sure, that Charles will propose, he starts to back down and then, Joe Burns appears. Elsie has to choose with who she wants to spent her life with. This story will most definitely have more than one chapter. Hope you will like it.
Legal note: Don't own any of the Downton characters, just like to give them fantastic adventures from time to time.
It's been a long time since Elsie felt so frustrated as she was now. Normally, she was the most optimistic woman among the Downton staff, if not the whole Downton household. Always ready to cheer everyone up and make all the people around her happy. However, recently she felt like all her optimism and her enthusiasm were forgotten.
Those past few weeks were like a roller-coster ride. Up and down, up and down. There were days when she was so incredibly happy and so hopeful, that she went to bed feeling like her heart was singing from joy, but on the next day, something hurtful has happened and she went to sleep, with tears in her eyes, wondering why on earth did she dare to have any dreams in her life. Dreams about feeling happy, dreams about having somebody she loved by her side, dreams of being loved and protected woman.
The cause of this emotional swing was always the same- Charles Carson.
Their relationship-if she could even call it that way, has entered a new faze recently. Things that were unthinkable before, were now happening on a daily basis.
It all started one day, after a sleepless night, one of many, that Elsie used to have, ever since the day of her 45 birthday. She normally never thought about her age, about passing years, about regrets in her life, but starting from the day of her birthday, she started to analyze, how her life looked like so far and what she would like to change or enhanced. Of course, there were some things which she already missed, like having a baby for example. This time has passed and it will never go back. She just erased this subject from her mind, trying not to contemplate too much about it. She told herself that she should distinct the things that cannot be changed, from the ones that were still amenadable.
The question of having children was a closed one, so she pushed it to the corner of her mind. But there were other questions. Like a question of her career-she knew that in this sphere everything was just as it should be. She might not have been a mother, but she definitely gained a professional success. A modest farmer's daughter from Argyll, has managed to become a housekeeper of the one of the greatest houses in England. All that she accomplished so far, was a result of her hard work-everyday, from dawn till dusk. She knew that if she was to retire tomorrow (hypotetically), she would have no regrets in that sphere of life. There wasn't pretty much anything else that she could achieve. Her parents would be so proud of her, if they could see her now.
The job that she had, gave her a solid, financial background, a respect of people, a roof over her head, many new, interesting experiences, broadening her mind and a lot of good friends. Most of all, the job that she had, has also brought a man into her life, that was now a number one in her heart-Charles Carson. Ever since the first day that she came to Downton and saw this tall, handsome man, with his deep, making her shiver baritone voice, she knew that he was the one. That either it will be him or nobody else. She didn't know him, she had no idea what was he like, but her first glimpse of him, made her heart inevitably belong to him.
Pretty soon, she got to now him very well and they had an amazing and fantastic connection, right from the start. They loved to talk, to spent time together, to discuss everything-life, books, politics, world events, their co-workers, the incidents in the household. Neither of them never had enough of talking. Their professional cooperation was always ideal, they understood themselves like they were one mind. They constantly watched each other and they were always taking into consideration the ideas of the other.
Naturally, there was never an option that there might be something more between them. When Elsie came into the house, England was still buried deeply in the Victorian age and the question of morality was an important one. There was not a possiblity, that the servants could have a relationship or let alone to get married. Even though both of them wanted it very much. Elsie knew, that and she was sure of that. In spite of the fact that they've never really talked about it. She sensed that Charles was in love with her, as much as she was in love with him.
He was more reserved than she was, so it was difficult to read something from his face, but Elsie knew. She saw how he looked at her. No other man in her life has ever looked at her that way..She noticed how he stared at her, when he thought that she was not watching. She saw how flustered he was, when she stood nearer to him than usual. How he lost his usual composure.
Sometimes, when they were drinking their evening Sherry and talking, while everyone else had gone to bed, she sensed that he was very close to saying those words, that she so wanted to hear. But always, in the key moment, he backed down.
After she summed up her life, few months ago, after her birthday and she decided that there is definitely one thing that she wants to change in her life and that was her marital status, she figured, that she was the one who had to push Charles Carson in the right otherwise she will never wait for any declaration from his side. She knew him so well. He was conservative. He didn't like changes. He thought that this situation will last forever. That she will always be around him, as his faithful friend, caring about him, that those moments during an evening Sherry will be enough for her.
However this was not the case. Elsie wanted more. She wanted a declaration of his feelings. She wanted his proposal. She wanted to move on with her life, even if it meant that she will have to give up her job-she realized that the idea of a marriage between the butler and the housekeeper, could be difficult to accept for the upstairs people. Times have changed and they heard from time to time, that butlers were getting married now and still carried on with their jobs. But of course, it was always easier for men to live in this world. There were double standards. If they could cope with an idea of a married butler, she was not sure, that they could live with an idea of a married housekeeper. She didn't mind though...She would give up her job for Charles, actually she would have given up everything for him, if he just wanted to make them both happy.
How much would have changed? They would no longer live in the Abbey-that was something to get use to, but other than that, she would have taken care of him with the same doze of love as she did now. For many years. He sometimes didn't even realize, how very well taken care of he was. Elsie, besides doing all her duties perfectly, has never neglected her favorite duty-taking care of him. No matter how much work she had or how tired she was, she always remembered to bring him tea and biscuts during afternoon tea, to butter his toast during the breakfast or to watch, that he wouldn't work too much and had some proper rest.
That was one thing in her life that she was absolutely sure of-that she wants to spent her life with him, making sure that he was happy. If only he wasn't so stuck in his ways and could see what's important in life. If he could only figured out, that his future was not serving the Crawleys, but living with Elsie in an atmosphere of love and safety.
From the day that she intensified her efforts, which meant to convience him, that they were perfect for each other, she felt a bit frustrated or sometimes even extremely frustrated...
Whenever they were taking five steps ahead, on the next day, he was taking three steps back...
When they had a lovely evening together and his soppy eyes told her, that he was on the brink of asking her to marry him, he backed down and on the next day, he behaved in a stuffy and distant way, which almost brought her to the point of tears.
Time has passed and Elsie was slowly losing hope for a happy life with her pompous, old fool..There were days when she felt so frustrated, that she began to wonder, if she should not leave and start a new life, somewhere else...Without that tiring state of suspension...When she went to bed, she decided that on the next day, she will tell everyone that she is leaving to lead a new life and then another day began and when she went downstairs and she saw him in the servants hall, her heart told her, that it was impossible to live without him and that she was ready to take any suspension and uncertainity, as long as he was living under the same roof that she was...
That's all for today my lovelies. That was just an introduction, rather long one, I suppose, but that's me. When I start to write, I never know when to stop ;-) On the next chapter, Elsie and Charles will cross the line of their closeness, on one stormy night...Will this push Charles to making a decision...? If you are curious, you need to stick with me and the story ;-) I will definitely update tomorrow. Sorry for any mistakes and let me know if this story seems at least a little interesting to you so far. Stay safe! See you soon!