Kushina Uzumaki is not only happy to be back, she is also back with a vengeance. She grins as she looks around herself, hiding the fact she is confused about the barrier. Kushina slides off Minato's back. She needs to locate Naruto and hug him as tightly as she can.

Then Minato screams like a little girl. "KAKASHI WHY DO YOU HAVE GREEN HAIR!?"

Kushina locates Naruto at exactly the same moment as Minato screams. Naruto has green hair too. "Minato," says Kushina, hitting her husbands arm. "Didn't we have a blonde baby?"

"We did," says Minato, pointing at something outside the barrier. "But look at Kakashi! He's not supposed to be all...green."

"LOOK AT NARUTO!" yells Kushina, smacking Minato over the ear. "HE'S GREEN TOO!"

"AAAAHHH!" screams Minato, running to Naruto and crouching down in front of him. "What is this?" he says, helplessly, grabbing Naruto's shoulders and giving him a little shake. "What happened to your hair while I was dead?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The green haired girl sitting nearby in a wheelchair starts laughing hysterically. "Bwahahahahaha *snort* ahahahahahaha!"

Naruto points and laughs at the girl. "Haha, Sasuke! You snort when you laugh."

"Your parents are morons," says the girl, giggling. "Ow."

Kushina stares at the girl. Naruto called her Sasuke. Sasuke is Mikoto's second child's name. This girl looks like Mikoto. "You had black hair last time I saw you!" says Kushina, pointing at Sasuke. "What happened?"

"It's all Obito's fault," says Kakashi. "He fell out of a tree, and our hair turned green."

"He's not wrong," says Rin, with a shaky laugh.

"Hey!" says Obito. "Don't blame me - it was your training session, Bakakashi!"

Kushina's brain works overtime trying to figure out what is off about that exchange. "What is it?" she mutters, hitting her forehead against the heel of her hand in an effort to concentrate. "What is it? What is it? What's wrong with that picture?"

"Naruto, you get your IQ from your Mum," says Sasuke.

"Obito and Rin died," says Minato. "Obito and Rin, how are you alive?"

"We'll tell you once the battle is over," says Obito. "Little help killing Zetsu, please?"

"HEY!" yells Kushina, angrily as she sees Zetsu. "You're that monster who tried to kill my baby!"

"And he's trying to do it again, Lady Kushina," says the man holding up the barrier. Kushina didn't even notice him.

"Who are you?" she asks.

"I'm Iruka Umino," he says turning his head to grin at her. "Remember me? I put a flower crown on Lord Third when he was sleeping one time."

"Oh!" Kushina remembers. "Yeah, I remember you! You were a funny little kid, dattebane." Kushina claps her hands over her mouth in mortification. "Oh I said it again!"

"You said 'dattebane', dattebayo!" says Naruto, happily.

Kushina's blood turns cold in horror. "Oh no, I passed it on, 'tebane!"

"YAY, I have something in common with my Mum, 'tebayo!" says Naruto, and tackle-hugs Kushina.

"Hey, Big Brother Fourth," says Iruka. "Can you teach Naruto and Sasuke that jutsu they are trying to learn? We were going to get Jiraiya, but for obvious reasons, we are stuck here."

"Why can't you teach them?" demands Kushina, squeezing Naruto tightly and patting his hair. "You're the Umino."

"Because teaching an Uchiha fuuinjutsu is a bit beyond my abilities," admits Iruka, blushing in embarrassment. "Naruto, Kakashi and Jiraiya have been teaching her: I literally don't know how to make her understand."

"Okay," Minato smiles his silly smile. "I'll teach the kids. Kushina, it's your turn to kick the crap out of Zetsu."

Kushina turns her head slowly and grins at Black Zetsu. "Zetsu," she says sweetly. "You're going to die."

"Hey, Lady Kushina," says Iruka. "Before you flatten Zetsu, can you duck into the Temple real quick and get Sasuke's meds from her bag? It's the one with the duck on it."

"Temple?" says Kushina, confused. "We're at a Temple?"

"The Temple of Jashin," says Iruka. "Sasuke's bag is over by the far left wall."

"I'll be right back," says Kushina, releasing Naruto, who staggers back and gasps for breath. Kushina marches up to the barrier and walks right through it as Iruka lowers it for a split second. Quickly, Kushina darts into the temple, grabs a bag with a duck on it and runs back to the barrier. "This the one, 'tebane?"

"That's the one," confirms Iruka. "Pass it through the barrier."

Kushina passes the bag to Naruto as Iruka lowers the barrier again for a second.

"Thanks, Lady Kushina," says Iruka.

"Hey!" says Kushina, as she realizes that an injustice has been done. "Why are you calling Minato 'Big Brother' even though he is a hokage, but you aren't calling me 'Big Sister'?"

"Ah, well," says Iruka, a bit nervously. "I wasn't sure If you would appreciate it."

"What if I don't appreciate it?" demands Minato, trying to act indignant, even though Kushina can tell he likes being called Big Brother.

"You have no choice," says Iruka. "You are my brother."

"But that makes you my Mum's brother-in-law," points out Naruto. "So you should call her Big Sister anyway."

"Good point, Naruto," says Iruka.

"Wait…" says Minato. "How are you my brother?"

"Your parents are alive," says Iruka. "And they raised Naruto and adopted me. Now can we please get back to killing Zetsu and giving Sasuke her pain medication?"

"Yes Iruka-nii!" says Naruto, taking the bag over to Sasuke. He fishes around in the bag for a few seconds before pulling out a copy of Make Out Paradise. "Sasuke I didn't know you read Pervy Sage's books."

Sasuke blushes. "Just give me my meds, Idiot!"

"Oh so that's where my book went," says Kakashi, as Naruto pulls out Sasuke's medicine and hands it to her.

"Actually, that's my Mum's copy," says Sasuke.

"I have your book, Kakashi," says Rin, blushing.

"Oh, you read those books too!" says Kushina, grinning. "I love that series, 'tebane."

"Wait…" says Naruto, his face screwed up in thought. "Kakashi sensei, do you read girls' books? Is Make Out Paradise for GIRLS? No wonder I found it boring."

"HEY!" yells Kushina, and everyone else on the battlefield - including all of the Zetsus. "THOSE BOOKS ARE NOT BORING!"

"Focus!" snaps Iruka, after the outburst. "We need to kill Zetsu, not bond over porn. Big Sister, please go beat up Zetsu. All of him."

Kushina remembers her anger at Zetsu and turns to stomp down the Temple stairs. "I'm gonna kill you, Zetsu, 'tebane."

"Not so fast," says Zetsu, grinning. "We have a different battle ready for you. We got ready while you dallied."

The ground in front of Zetsu begins to shake, and a coffin pushes its way up out of the dirt. The reanimation jutsu! Kushina is glad that she and Minato were both resurrected in full battle gear. She pulls out a kunai and marches past Obito and Rin, past Kakashi and his line of defenders and down to where the coffin is. The white zetsus part to make way.

Kushina stops a few metres away from the coffin and waits for it to open.

Slowly, the coffin lid creaks open, then it falls to the ground with a thud. A woman with red hair fastened into two buns and a diamond on her forehead steps out. Slowly, Mito Uzumaki looks up at Kushina. "Long time no see, little Kushina," she says.

"You look a lot younger than you did when you died," says Kushina. "What's with that, 'tebane?"

"There is no point in reanimating an old woman," says Mito. "Besides, if I am to fight you, I will do it at full power. I would test your strength, my successor. How well do you handle the power I left you?"

"Actually," says Kushina. "I just got back from the dead myself. My son over there, the blonde boy in orange, has the Nine Tails now."

Mito raises her eyebrows elegantly. "Well," she says. "Fancy that." Dozens of chakra chains erupt from her back. "The battle of the former jinchuuriki begins now."

Kushina grins wickedly and unleashes her own chakra chains.