Jo, Anne Maria, Dawn - Total Drama
Balto, Steele - Balto
Robin Hood - Disney's Robin Hood
Emerald, Bismuth - Steven Universe
Rufus - Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart
Rarity, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia Melody - My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Hong Kong Phooey - Hong Kong Phooey / Hanna Barbera
Disclaimer: Axel is my OC. Additionally, every character is an anthro, which includes the characters that are originally four-legged.
Chapter One: Back To Where It All Started
[scene opens with an overhead shot of Camp Wawanakwa. It then transitions over to the Dock of Shame]
Chris: Welcome to another season of the hottest reality show on television, along with your favorite host, Chris McLean! I'm back for another round of putting these contestants through my daily dose of pain, suffering, and humiliation, right back on good ole Camp Wawanakwa! Unfortunately, the lawyers called up and have said that I've got a little "carried away" in the past few seasons and I'm currently under strict instructions not to force the contestants through anything too life-threatening. Emphasis on "too". Because while I may be forced to abide by regulations, that's not to say that I'm gonna give these guys a vacation. Nohohoho, the memo of Total Drama is survival of the fittest and the goal to win the grand prize of one million dollars! So strap yourselves in because we're kickin' it into high gear, right here on Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[cue theme song, the episode continues]
Chris: Alright, time to introduce our fourteen contestants who will be competing and ultimately pummeling each other to the ground for the next few weeks. [hears the ship horn in the distance and sees the boat approaching] And here they come!
[the boat comes to port by the dock and the stairway is let down to let the contestants off]
[as Jo walks off the boat, Anne Maria pulls out her hairspray and starts to spray her hair, causing the jockette to cough]
Jo: Hey, Jersey Reject! Mind not poisoning our lungs this time?!
Anne Maria: Oh, sure, I'll stop...when you stop lookin' ugly!
Dawn: Must you two be fighting already? I understand that both your souls are deeply troubled, but-
Jo: Here's a question; how about you stop poking your nose into business that doesn't concern you, hippie?!
Dawn: [winces and then sighs] Very well, I shall give you your space…
Balto: Hey, you alright there?
Dawn: Hmm? Oh, yes, I'm fine. I'm just concerned for those two, they don't seem to have changed from the last time I saw them and I fear that their mannerisms will ultimately be their downfall.
Balto: Yeah...I know how that feels...I've got a similar issue.
Steele: [off-screen] You talkin' about me, wolfdog?
Balto: YIP! Steele, don't creep up on me like that!
Steele: I've got full range to do as I please, and that just so happens to include whatever way I feel like approaching you.
Dawn: You know, just because you've been holding onto your shattered pride for all these years doesn't mean you have to let it consume your well-being.
Steele: [clenches his fist tightly] How about you keep that aura s**t to yourself and no one gets hurt…[walks down agitated]
Balto: Whoa, that was...something...well, at least he didn't jab another insult at me.
Dawn: His soul may be consumed by arrogance brought upon him through the venues of others, but to even my surprise, I can sense something...hidden inside.
Balto: What?
Emerald: [off-screen] Elite gem coming through! [on-screen, roughly shoves past Vinyl and Octavia] Gah, stupid earthlings, always getting in the way…
Octavia: How undignified!
Vinyl: Man, that chick's got some 'tude. And not in the cool with an attitude, I mean an attitude.
Bismuth: Well, that's Emerald for you. She's like that all the time, how she ended up in somethin' like this is beyond me.
Rufus: [sees that Rarity is distracted by the commotion and tries to reach into her pocket to pick at it, but is slammed down by a hand] Ow!
Hong Kong: HIYA! And a rinky-dinky-doo to you!
Rarity: Oh, I say!
Hong Kong: I must apologize on behalf of this thief, ma'am, with ma' all know-how in kung-fu, I knocked him clean down from pilfering yo' pockets!
Rufus: Hmph, spoilsport…
Rarity: [to Hong Kong] Oh, why, thank you, darling…[to Rufus]...and as for you…[slaps him across the face and huffs away]
Hong Kong: Make no mistake, fo' as long as the legendary masta' Hong Kong Phooey is here, no criminal scum shall get away from their misdeeds!
Rufus: [sarcastically] Oh, yes, I'm sure you'll do a fine job at that...ingrate…I'm not the only thief around here.
Robin: If you're referring to me, I'll have you know that I do not steal for fortune, I steal for the good of the people, from what I have seen and heard, you steal only for your benefit. Tis truly selfish on your part.
Rufus: Oooooh, why don't you just jam that arrow up yours? [walks away huffily]
Robin: [sighs] Such a poor unfortunate soul, one of the many I've seen in my time…[begins to walk away, but is tripped up by someone else. A hand reaches down to pull him from hitting the ground and he comes face-to-face with a grey wolf with black hair styled in that of a greaser, accompanied by his black jacket and jeans]
Axel: Well, looks like I caught me another one.
Robin: [with a wry grin] I take it that it was you who tripped me up.
Axel: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, maybe I could tell you if it were just you and me, tck-tck~
Robin: Perhaps if you release me, I'll consider it, of course, there is to consider the possibility of us not competing on the same team.
Axel: Ah, well, I have ways of making things work, and I believe I can with the likes of you~[releases Robin from his hold]
Robin: Thank you, I shall see you on the morrow, dear chap...by the way, I never asked you your name.
Axel: The name's Axel, hotshot, and I do mean hot. Your face is distinguishable enough for me to recognize you as the great Robin Hood. I gotta say, you really got it goin' on~
Robin: Oh, you mean like this?~ [walks away with a noticeable spring in his step as his tail swishes about, much to the wolf's amusement]
Axel: Hehe, yup...just like that…~
Chris: Well, I can see you've all gotten yourself acquainted with one another, so I'll give you the rundown. This is Camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next several weeks The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya' dig? The camper who manages to stay on the island without getting voted off will win one million dollars!
Steele: [smirks] I'd say the prize is as good as mine.
Balto: Yeah…[rolls his eyes]...good enough for you to rub in everyone's faces.
Steele: I don't need any of your lip, wolfdog, you got that?
Balto: I have a name, you know.
Steele: I don't need to say if I don't feel like it.
Balto: Ugh, you are so petty.
Steele: [pulls Balto into a headlock] Wanna see how petty I can get?!
Balto: ERMPH! Not really...get off, you're making a scene!
Chris: [chuckles] I can tell I'm gonna enjoy you two. Putting rivals together is always the way to make good television.
Anne Maria: [rolls her eyes] Ugh, whadda' bunch a' dorks. [sprays her hair which clouds the two canines next to her, causing Steele to loosen his grip as he and Balto start to cough]
Steele: Damn, woman, what's in that…[coughs]...deathtrap?!
Balto: I think some of it got in my lungs!
Anne Maria: It's just hairspray, stop bein' such babies. It's perfectly harmless.
[static buzzing]
Anne Maria: Not even thirty minutes here and I already got a buncha' people whinin' and cryin' about my hairspray. I have certain needs ta' look this good, I guess that's just somethin' people won't eva' understand.
[static buzzing]
Steele: There's no two ways around it, I can smoke any of these people with my eyes shut, I didn't become winner of the winter sports back where I come from for nothing. Competition is sorta my forte, and it's the perfect opportunity for me to get even with you-know-who. He may be safe back up in Nome with his little gang and all the things he stole from me from that stupid run back in...UGH, the point is, now that we're on an equal playing field, I'm about to bring out the gauntlet on the wolfdog!
[static buzzing]
Balto: Normally, I'd be thrilled to participate in something like this, but recently, I haven't been feeling all that chipper. There's been a lot going on back at home and that I have to face Steele again is only gonna add to that stress…[sighs]...but I might as well give it my best shot, right?
[static buzzing]
Chris: Here's the deal. We're gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name, go stand over there: Dawn, Emerald, Hong Kong, Rufus, Rarity, Balto, and...Steele!
Balto and Steele: WHAT?!
[static buzzing]
Balto: Are you kidding, I can't be on a team with Steele! No, no, I'm just dreaming is all. I'll just-[pinches]-OW...oh, no...
[static buzzing]
Steele: Ooooooh, no! Nonononono, I am not working alongside him! No way, no how!
[static buzzing]
Steele: Yeah, I'd like to suggest being on a team that doesn't include the wolfdog.
Balto: I second that! Why are we even on the same team?
Chris: Why else? The two of you are clearly uncomfortable with each other, so I decided to take advantage of it by putting you on the same team. And there are no switchovers unless I say so, which in this case, I don't. Of course, you could both be on no teams at all...because I'll disqualify you. [chuckles] So, what's it gonna be?
[the two canines glance at each other, Balto with a look of apprehension and Steele with a look of venom...before the two close their eyes tightly and shake their hands before instantly retracting]
[static buzzing]
Steele: Well, this already sucks ass! I'm stuck on a team with the very person of who I can't stand. There's no way I'm gonna be able to get the votes to give him the boot, given how they're only like two other people I could confide to…[sighs]...what I'm about to do goes against all my principles, but...I'm going to have to...play nice with...him...oh, God, I think I'm gonna throw up.
[static buzzing]
Chris: Now, as for the rest of you: Jo, Anne Maria, Vinyl, Octavia, Bismuth, Robin, and Axel. To the team on the left, you'll be known as...Team Pulverizer!
[the logo of a sledgehammer appears above them]
Rarity: My, what an...interesting choice of a name…[shudders]
Chris: As for the team on the right, from now on until the merge, you'll be known as...Team Punisher!
[the logo of a whip appears above them]
Jo: Now that's something I could get used to. Punish the weak. [punches her palm with her fist while wearing a smug grin on her face]
Emerald: You know, I've led entire armies to the point of being pulverized. Perhaps you'd like a dose.
Jo: Let's just say you'll be eating my dust by the time the day's done.
Emerald: Oh, I don't eat dust, I create it by crushing those weaker than me.
Octavia: [sighs] Well, this is off to a fine start.
Vinyl: Ah, lighten up a bit, Tavi. At least you got me around to bring out that little ray of sunshine in you...underneath all that "sophisticated exterior" or something.
Octavia: [rolls her eyes] Charmed…
Chris: Now, as per usual, every day there will be a challenge for you to face head on, and the team that wins each challenge will win invincibility and gets to spend a night at the luxury McLean spa hotel, while the losing team will have to settle for the less extravagant cabins and vote off one of their teammates to walk the Dock of Shame, catch a ride on the Boat of Losers, and leave Total Drama for good. Your first challenge begins in half an hour! Starting…now!
[scene cuts to the contestants using the spare time that they have to mingle with one another before the challenge]
Octavia: You know, I'm still surprised you dragged me into this. Surely you've seen the kinds of barbaric activity that goes on with this show.
Vinyl: I like to think of it as a means of adventure, finding inspiration for a sick new beat, after all, gotta keep the flow fresh.
Octavia: I suppose you have a point...I just can't help but feel...unnerved.
Vinyl: Ah, c'mon, Tavi, lighten up a little, I'm sure the folks here are...mostly friendly. Besides, you could do with meeting some more people who aren't all "sophisticated" and "high-class" as you.
Octavia: Well...if it will please you, I'll give it a try...
Vinyl: Alright, step in the right direction.
[scene shifts over to Rufus walking over to Emerald]
Rufus: [clears throat] My dear lady, may I say what an honor it is to be within your presence?
Emerald: Hmm, chivalry...what do you want?
Rufus: I was thinking, while this might be rather sudden, I would like to offer you my services, like a partnership of sorts.
Emerald: [her stoic expression morphs into that of a small grin] Go on…
Rufus: The way I was thinking is that we could help one another in terms of maintaining our safety. After all, given how we're at a bit of a disadvantage in terms of numbers, I was thinking of an alliance between the two of us and at least two more people to ensure we have the majority.
Emerald: Well, I'll give you this, it's an intriguing proposal and I believe I can find one of the additions. [looks over at Steele leaning up against a tree staring at Balto and Dawn engaged in conversation with a stony look on his face] Follow me…
[the gem and the fox walk over to where the malamute is standing]
Steele: [looks over at the two people now standing before him] Whatta' you want?
Emerald: A proposition that I'm sure you'd be interested in. [looks over to where Steele was originally looking at] I take it you have an...issue with someone over there?
Steele: Hmph, what gave it away?
Rufus: The look on your face is an open book. But I believe that we may be able to assist in your predicament, given your...track record and all…
Steele: [his eyes half-lid] You lookin' for a fight, smart guy?
Rufus: [slightly recoils but recovers] Not necessarily, but more along the lines of...assistance. After all, with the three of us joining forces, we'd need just one more person to give us the majority.
Emerald: Which is where you come in. I don't suppose you'd be able to get...him to join our cause?
Steele: [looks over at Balto and sighs] Well, I did say…[mumbles]...I can assure you it won't be an easy job, but I'll try to make something work…
Emerald: Excellent...
[static buzzing]
Emerald: I've no issue with an alliance, the only downside is that I just happen to be part of an alliance rather than the creator of an alliance. But I believe I can make it work...for now, that is.
[static buzzing]
Loudspeaker: Attention, fresh meat! Meet me by the beach in ten for your first challenge and you might wanna make sure you know how to do that thing called balance! [chuckles]
[scene cuts to the contestants standing on a floating platform in the lake with a wooden beam strung across the two ends of the platform]
Chris: [while on a boat with Chef Hatchet] Okay, teams, here's how it's gonna work; each member of your team has to walk across this narrow wooden beam to the other side of the platform without losing their balance and falling into the water, which just so happens to be filled with notorious man-eating sharks! [chuckles as several sharks fly over the beam before diving back into the water, causing quite a few of the contestants to recoil]
Vinyl: Oooookay, maybe I didn't think this through...oops.
Octavia: [sighs] Oh, Vinyl…
Chris: The team with the most members on the other side of the platform wins the challenge and a trip to the spa hotel! The team with the fewest members will be sending someone packing. Oh, and for every team member that decides they're a big ole chicken, that's also a point down for your team, so ya' might wanna pick your battles in a way that doesn't involve everyone hating you for being a scared whittle baby... [chuckles]
Jo: Alright, maggots, let's make one thing clear; we are not gonna wuss out and lose to those weaklings on the opposing team, we're punishers and we're gonna bring the smackdown!
Axel: Yo, slick, you ain't gotta worry about nothin', I got this in ma' back pocket, ya' dig?
Robin: Agility just so happens to be one of my greatest strengths, so this shouldn't be any trouble at all.
Rufus: [to Hong Kong] Listen, I just want to apologize for my actions earlier. Early competition jitters is all. I actually find your style to be quite theatrical and alluring.
Hong Kong: Mmmm...ma' kung-fu senses are suspectin' some doggone trickery is afoot, but as long as I don't catch you pullin' some woo-doo villainy on me or anyone else, I can appreciate the compliment.
Rufus: But of course. You have my word on it.
[static buzzing]
Rufus: The thing with someone like Hong Kong is that they're rather self-absorbed in themselves. As a result, it can be used as a weakness against them and I know just how to get the ball rolling.
[static buzzing]
Chris: Alright, teams, time to see who's got balance and who's taking a dive to their doom! And...go! [blows the air horn]
Bismuth: Time to show 'em that we mean "Bismuth"! [walks onto the beam and starts to gingerly make her way across] Whoo, no wonder they call it a tightrope, ya' gotta *squeeze* into space…
[at that moment, a shark jumps out from the water, causing the gem to freeze in place, but not lose her balance]
Bismuth: WHOA! Down, boy, down! Okay...almost there...
Chris: And Bismuth makes it across for Team Punisher!
Bismuth: Awww, it wasn't anything I couldn't manage.
Jo: That's right, show 'em, Bismuth! Tough luck, "pulverizers".
Emerald: We'll see about that. [rushes past Jo and effortlessly skips across the beam] You were saying?
Jo: [with her mouth gape, growls] Try and show me up, will ya'?! It is ON! [shuffles across the beam with a look of determination]
Emerald: [gasps and scowls furiously] You all on the other side, you'd better give it your all!
Chris: Ohohoho, this is gonna be good!
[scene cuts to a montage of the contestants crossing the beam. Steele walks steadily across it while Rarity gingerly tip-toes on the beam. Robin effortlessly walks across the beam while Anne Maria cautiously shuffles across it. A shark rises out of the water and tries to bite the human girl, but only gets its teeth shattered by biting onto her solid hair]
Anne Maria: That's right, fish face! No one touches the hair!
[Dawn is next to cross the beam as she gingerly walks across it. The sharks rise up under the beam, but stop when they see the moonchild walking across]
Jo: Okay, someone mind explaining how she's even doing that!
Dawn: [as she reaches the other side] The sharks recognize me as non-threatening and I acknowledge their right to be left alone. These poor creatures, having to be tortured on a show like this.
[Octavia is next to cross the beam as she looks down nervously at the water. Vinyl is next after her and runs across the beam in a rush of fear]
Balto: [steps onto the edge of the beam and gulps down at the shark-infested waters below] Oh...oh, my…
Chris: Huh, could we have our first chicken for this challenge? That might not be such a good idea in case, ya' know, your team loses. That'll probably put you at a serious risk of...elimination. [chuckles]
Balto: [scowls at the host and then looks back to the end of the other side] Okay...let's do this. [walks cautiously across the board while looking down at the water] Just keep going, just keep going…
Chris: And Balto makes it for Team Pulverizer!
Balto: [breathes a sigh of relief as he comes to a stop on the other side] Thank God…
Rufus: Say, you see those sharks in the water? Bet you could really show them some real Pulverizer spirit by clobbering any of them that tries to jump at you.
Hong Kong: Mmmmmm...ya' know, I think you might be onto somethin' here...stand back, the master of Kung Fu is about to drop it like it's hot! [begins to make his way across the board when a shark jumps out of the water] Karate CHOP! [jumps into the air and swipes down on the shark's head...and plows on the beam, causing it to snap in two and break, sending him into the shark-infested water] AAH! Take that! And that!
Steele: [facepalms] Oh, no…
Hong Kong: [with all the sharks now subdued across him] HAHA! What'd I tell you?! Hong Kong Phooey's still got it!
Chris: True, unfortunately, you also damaged the beam and you didn't complete the challenge. As a result, you and Rufus failed to complete the challenge for Team Pulverizer while Axel is the only member of Team Punisher not to cross. Meaning...Team Punisher wins the challenge!
[the members of Team Punisher while the members of Team Pulverizer groan]
Axel: And that's how we do it, baby!
Robin: Marvelous!
Vinyl: Alright, we the team!
Chris: Team Pulverizer, what can I say, other than I'll be seeing you at the elimination ceremony tonight.
Hong Kong: Ah...shoot…
[static buzzing]
Rufus: What'd I tell you? Hook, line and sinker.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Balto walking through the forest when he's pulled into a bush by a pair of arms]
Balto: Yip! Hey, what's the big...Steele?
Steele: I'm gonna put this in the simplest of terms, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
Balto: [under his breath] Well, isn't that a given…
Steele: However, I'm willing to put that aside for the proposition I'm offering you.
Balto: And that would be…?
Steele: The assurance that neither of us will vote against each other in the case we head to elimination, tonight being an example.
Balto: So...you're asking for an alliance, I take it?
Steele: Whatever you wanna call it. I get that you might think that I'm pulling your tail on this, but I'm telling you that you have my word on that I will not vote for you out of pettiness. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a dumbass.
Balto: Well...if you're being honest then I suppose I can give you a pass...but hear me out when I say that at the first moment I sense treachery, I'm out.
Steele: Hmph, I'd say that's a fair deal. [extends his paw out to shake] We in agreement?
Balto: [hesitantly sticks his arm out to shake with paws with the malamute] Yeah...agreed…
[scene cuts to black, at the Elimination Ceremony]
Chris: Welcome to the Elimination Ceremony, Team Pulverizer! I can see by the looks on your faces that spirits aren't all that high tonight. No surprise given the disaster that was today's challenge. [chuckles as Steele rolls his eyes and Emerald scowls darkly] There are only six marshmallows on this plate, those who receive a marshmallow will be safe to play for another day, the one who does not receive a marshmallow must report to the Dock of Shame, catch a ride on the Boat of Losers and leave Total Drama for good!
[static buzzing]
Emerald: I don't tolerate failure, I never have and I never will. Today's performance was going well until that dirty mutt ruined everything, but at least I have the opportunity to make sure he reaps what he sows…
[static buzzing]
Rufus: Looks like the master of kung fu didn't master the art of intelligence. [snickers] But hey, that's on him and it's about to bite him in the rear end.
[static buzzing]
Rarity: Hong Kong may have cost us the challenge, but I don't trust that Rufus for a minute. He tried to pick-pocket me earlier so he's already not on my good list.
[static buzzing]
Dawn: Please understand that I'm only doing this out of the good of the team. I fear that your presence will lead to our own misfortune.
[static buzzing]
Chris: The following players are safe: Emerald [catches the marshmallow]...Rarity [catches the marshmallow]...Dawn [catches the marshmallow]...Balto [catches the marshmallow]...and Steele [catches the marshmallow]. Campers, this...is the final marshmallow of the night…
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Rufus!
Rufus: [catches the marshmallow with a satisfied grin]
Rarity: [scoffs and turns her head in indignation]
Hong Kong: Awww, man…[sighs sadly and stands up]
[scene cuts to the Dock of Shame as the members of Team Pulverizer watch Hong Kong board the Boat of Losers]
Hong Kong: I apologize for the dishonor I have bestowed upon ya'll. But mark my words that I will do ma' utmost to ensure that such a mistake like this will neva' happen again for the legendary Hong Kong Phooey! HIYA!
[the Boat of Losers departs from the dock and disappears from sight]
Chris: The rest of you are safe…for tonight. [the Pulverizers depart from the dock and head to the cabins] And we've got our first contestant on the road to Loserville! I'd say I'm surprised that Hong Kong's gone, but that would be a lie. [chuckles] That's one down, thirteen to go! Who will crumble under the pressure and who's gonna stick it out all the way to the end? Find out next time on Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]