Chapter Eight: Surprise, Surprise
Chris: [narrating] Last time on Total Drama Reloaded, the two teams were tasked with finding the key to the spa hotel, buried somewhere on the beach. During the whole event, Jo and Anne Maria continued their feud and they really went at it! I love me a good catfight! [chuckles] Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the spectrum, Robin and Axel continued to be all mushy-gushy with each other, with Robin even having confessed some of his background to the greaser. Man, is that sappy or what? Additionally, it appears that Rufus is now hiding something from the other guys on Team Pulverizer in the form of Balto and Steele, now isn't that just sweet, he wants a little bit a' tail himself. [chuckles] Back to the competition, it was Rarity who won the challenge for her team by finding the key in the location nobody would have expected, right under my seat. Gotta say, that girl's got some real brains for doing so. And that night at the elimination ceremony, Team Punisher said goodbye to Anne Maria who decided that Jersey Girl and Total Drama really don't go hand in hand in her eyes. Eh, her loss, I suppose. [on-screen] We're down to the final seven competitors and let me tell you that I got a real big surprise in store for these guys. What's that, you may ask? Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it? [chuckles] You'll just have to find out for yourself by watching the latest Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[cue theme song, the episode continues]
[scene shows the interior of the spa hotel as Rarity is seen walking down the hallway with a satisfied look on her face]
Rarity: [sighs contentedly] I can never get enough of this place, especially since today yours truly got her team into it. If only the living quarters could be this luxurious for both teams, it's so unsanitary in those cabins…
[static buzzing]
Rarity: You know another thing to be thankful for? This is currently the farthest I've ever made it on Total Drama, and this time, I intend to go all the way. However, I intend to get there in the most genuine way I manage, why go through all the trouble of backstabbing and making false promises when you can win through your own wits and determination.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the bathroom where the room is seen to be rather steamy as Steele exits from the shower. He approaches the mirror and smirks as he looks about his figure]
Steele: Hehehe, my, my, you are one sexy mountain man, aren't you? No wonder you used to have gals pining all over you, and don't think I missed a few glances from other guys, you were just that beautiful. And whadda ya' know, ya' still are, and I still got me a crowd.
[static buzzing]
Steele: What, there's nothing saying a guy like me can't brag about des guns. [flexes out his arm] Bet you anything no one would have expected me to get this far, probably would have thought I'd be kicked off much sooner for being too like my old self. Well, sorry to disappoint those people, but this guy's not going anywhere anytime soon. I've made it this far and I ain't quittin' now, that million's got my name written all over it.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the interior of the males' bedroom where Balto and Rufus are seen laying on beds separate one a piece]
Balto: [as he gets underneath the sheets, he sighs contentedly] Now this feels great. Soft beds after a long and stressful day…[looks toward Rufus' direction and notices the rather stony look on the fox's face as he appears to be looking straight ahead]...um, you okay? Rufus?
Rufus: [blinks as he regains his senses] Huh? What? Oh, it's just you, Balto…
Balto: Um, yeah...so, as I said, are you alright?
Rufus: Well...of course, I am, I was just...watching the wall, is all.
Balto: I see…
Rufus: [after a moment of hesitation] Um, actually, there is something I wanted to discuss with you, but it just happens to involve Steele as well…
Balto: Really? Well, if you wanted to discuss this with me for now, I'm all ears.
Rufus: Aaaah, right...well-
Steele: [opens the door as he whips his presumably still wet top fur] Haaaaa, now that's what I call luxury. The two of you gals been up to?
Balto: [blushes a little at the "gals" comment] Oh, nothing much, just talking is all. Actually, Rufus here wanted to talk about something with us.
Rufus: Uh...yeah…
Steele: [as he plops down on his own bed] Alright then, what's the scoop?
Rufus: Ah, right, well...I was just...thinking to myself….about you two and well…[clears throat]...oh, boy, how do I say this without sounding awkward…
Balto: Um...is something wrong, Rufus?
Rufus: [sighs] I just happened to notice how...close you two have gotten recently and well...I couldn't help but feel a little...a little…[clenches his fists]...you know...
Balto: Oh…
Steele: Well, ain't this a turn of events? You sayin' that you want some?
Balto: Steele!
Rufus: Actually, he's not...wrong in that endeavor...you two are just so...endearing to look at and be around that I...I...Iwanttobepartofyourcircle.
Balto: [blushes] W-Well, Rufus, this is certainly an...interesting revelation…
Steele: Hmm...you know, I figured you were swinging that way with your little game of flirtation a while back, though if you wanted some a' this, you could have just asked.
Rufus: [blushes] O-Oh...well, in that case...may I…
Steele: Well, there's enough room on the bed...wanna join?
[feeling a rather prevalent tingle run up his body, Rufus slowly makes his way from his bed to Steele's and lays down next to the malamute. Steele then turns to Balto]
Steele: Say, wolfy, how about you join us? There's still plenty a' room~
Balto: O-Oh! Well…
Rufus: You know, it's actually rather nice over here…
Balto: Huh...I guess it couldn't hurt…[gets up from his bed and goes over to lay down on the left side of Steele's bed as Rufus is taking the right side and the wolfdog's eyes shoot wide open in surprise as he feels the contact of his fur against Steele's]...oooh…
Steele: Hmm, seems like someone likes what he sees~
Balto: [blushes] Well, I just didn't expect you to be this...warm…
Rufus: [sighs contentedly] Now this feels nice…
Balto: You know...it does...it really does...um, so would you say that we're...more than associates at this point?
Steele: Let's see, we're three fully grown men sharing the same bed together and the two of you seem to have an attraction to yours truly based on the blushes I've seen on your face, and the suggestive behavior of foxy here. The only thing that'd seal the deal would be a kiss…
Balto: Oh...well...assuming that all three of us are available...would you be interested in...what you just said…?
Steele: [pulls the wolfdog into a kiss by wrapping his paw around his head, causing Balto to give out a muffled sound of surprise before their lips separate] That answer your question, wolfdog?~
Balto: [after a few seconds of hesitation, he finds his voice] Whoa...that felt...really nice...better even, it felt good, like really good~
Rufus: Say, would I be able to partake in this little activity?~
Steele: Weeeeell, since you asked nicely…[pulls the fox into a kiss by wrapping his arm around his back and pulling Rufus on top of him, the red fox's expression of comical surprise amusing the malamute]
Rufus: [as his lips part from Steele's] Hoooooooooo, you weren't kidding, that felt heavenly~
Steele: Heh, what can I say, these lips know how to kiss~
Balto: Hehe, yeah...you know, now that all three of us are closer to one another, what say we all form an alliance? Like a pack to the final three?
Rufus: Well, I see no reason to reject that offer, so I'm in. How about you; tall, dark and handsome?~
Steele: Seeing as someone's gotta be the alpha around here, I'll have no problem in getting the three of us through the rest of the game, especially if we can have a little…fun in between~
Balto: So it's agreed, wolf pack to the end? [puts his paw out for the other two to touch]
Rufus and Steele: [after a glance at each other, they extend a paw out each to Balto's] Wolf pack to the end.
[static buzzing]
Balto: You know, I imagine quite a few people would say that I'm crazy for aligning with two people who don't have the cleanest backgrounds, especially considering my previous conflict with Steele, but given from what I've seen nowadays, I would say that I'm a good position with the two, not to mention...getting up that close and personal to Steele lit a feeling in me that I haven't felt in a long time. In that moment, I actually felt...a connection~
[static buzzing]
Steele: So, looks like this guy's got himself two allies who just so happen to have the hots for him...yeah, I'd say that I got myself a pretty solid deal. Plus, I get to have me some rewards~ [winks and clicks his tongue]
[static buzzing]
Rufus: [sighs with relief] Words cannot express the pleasure and relief that I'm feeling. I can't believe I'm actually in a close partnership with the two of them, I can't remember the last time I felt this giddy, and let me tell you, I feel invigorated.
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to morning as the sun rises over the horizon. It then cuts to the males' side of the cabins where Robin and Axel are seen still sleeping. Axel is the first of the two to walk up on the bottom bunk. Upon peering over at the still sleeping vulpine, a mischievous grin spreads across his face as he silently climbs up to the top bunk and looms over Robin]
Axel: Hehehe, time to get me some...breakfast~
Robin: [with his eyes still closed] And how would you like yours cooked?
Axel: Aye, you were awake the entire time, weren't you?
Robin: [as he opens his eyes] Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't, but I appreciate the gesture of you coming up here, darling.
Axel: Awww, I couldn't help myself from seeing your pretty face this lovely morning...well, at least until his dictatorship comes in and spoils the party.
Robin: Hehe, true that, ma' dear. Now, about breakfast~ [flutters his eyes at the wolf]
Axel: Ah, yes, thanks fa' reminding me, foxy~ [goes down to the vulpine's level and pulls him into a kiss]
Robin: [as he and the lupine pull away] Aaaaah, I must say, you've a way with that tongue of yours~
Axel: Heh, same could be for you, babe~ Now, how about I scoot into that bed a' yours? We still got some time left and I'd like ta' spend it bein' as close to you as possible~
Robin: Ooooh, such a gentleman…[moves over a little to the left so that Axel has room to take up the right side of the bed]
Axel: [sighs contentedly] Now dis feels nice...heh, I know I've said this plenty a' times before, but I just can't get enough of ya' beauty, Robbie~
Robin: Awww, why thank you, my dear Axel~ And the same can be said for you, meaning that we're both beauties to look at~
Axel: Hehe, ya' got that right~ Say, I bet you've got a whole family line a' foxes who looked just as good as you~
Robin: Weeeeeell, you wouldn't be wrong in assuming such, I think you'd take a fine interest in my cousin, William Scarlet, or simply Will as he likes to be called.
Axel: Aaaah, and what'd be of this Will? What's his style?
Robin: Well, compared to me wearing green, he wears dark red and…[goes up close to Axel's ear]...he wears pants~
Axel: Ooooh, fancy boy, is he?~ Well, if I ever get the chance to see him, I'll tell him that his cousin's the cutest lil thing I've ever set my eyes on~
Robin: Oooooh, stop~ But really, I'm so glad to have met you on this expedition.
Axel: Same goes for me, Robbie-baby. Gettin' down with a celebrity is one thing, but another is formin' a strong bond between each other…[under the sheets, he unites his hand with Robin's]
Robin: Truer words never spoken, ma' dear...like birds of feather…
Axel: ...We stand to the finale together~ Now...come 'ere and gimme some sugar~
[with that, the two canines exchange another kiss between each other which goes on for a few seconds]
[static buzzing]
Robin: Call me sappy, but I just cannot get enough of that wolf~ [sighes blissfully]
[static buzzing]
Axel: I'mma tell ya' this right now, that fox is the pinnacle of perfection, easy~
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the females' side of the cabins where Jo is seen working out by doing curl-ups]
Jo: Five fifty-one...five fifty-two...five fifty-three…
[static buzzing]
Jo: Being the only girl left on the island, other than Miss Fashionista on the other team, I'm keeping my wits about in case any a' the guys try and throw me off. I've made it this far and I ain't givin' up easy.
[static buzzing]
Loudspeaker: Attention, campers! Meet me by the Dock of Shame for a special announcement! I've got a surprise in store! [chuckles]
[scene cuts to the seven contestants gathered by the dock standing before Chris]
Chris: Now then, as you're all aware, there are only seven of you left, meaning that half of the roster has been cut from the competition beforehand. So, it's time to announce that from this point onwards, the teams are now merged! Meaning it's every camper for themselves for the rest of the competition!
[static buzzing]
Jo: About time that I made the merge once again. However, seeing as there's four Pulverizers and three Punishers, I'm gonna make sure to keep Robin and Axel close by as I need me some votes on my side.
[static buzzing]
Rarity: You know, that puts my merge score up the three, which is more than anybody else has made on this show. Am I proud of myself for that? The answer is that is yes, I am. Yay for me!
[static buzzing]
Chris: And now, for the surprise I was telling you about, it appears that things are getting rather friendly between a lot of you guys, and that's sweet...but I know something that's even sweeter! So, I'm bringing back an old friend who you've all missed so dearly.
Rarity: Hmm? What on Earth could he…[as the sound of a boat approaching the island is heard, she looks ahead and her pupils suddenly shrink with fear]...oh...oh no…
Balto: [looking visibly uncomfortable] Wait...he can't mean…
Rufus: Oh, blast...not her…
[scene cuts to a boat approaching the island against a background of fire, with a familiar-looking green gem on the bow, looking fiercely ahead]
Chris: [off-screen] Ladies and gentlemen, iiiiiiiiiiit's Emerald!
[scene cuts back to the dock as the contestants, particularly Balto, Rarity, and Rufus, are looking rather on-edge. It then cuts to the boat stopping before the dock as Emerald steps down with her feet thumping on the wood]
Emerald: That's right, I'm back, [as she begins to walk along the dock to the others] and not only am I going to wipe out the competition, but I'm giving special attention to my backstabbing team who voted me off!
Rufus: [gulps as Emerald is standing right in front of him] Um...hello there, Emerald...how have things been…?
Emerald: [with a strong glare down at the fox] I'll tell you how things have been...better yet…[grabs the vulpine by his collarbone]...I'll show you...
Rufus: Eep…
Chris: Whoa-ho-ho, settle down there, Emerald. There'll be plenty a' time for you to kick butt in today's challenge, so I say you spare him...for now. [chuckles]
Emerald: [huffs as she drops Rufus on the ground and snorts off, glaring at the other members of her former team as she passes them] Ingrates…
[static buzzing]
Emerald: Now they fear me, and so they should. I will make them all pay for what they did to me. If they think that they can take me down that easily, they've got another thing coming!
[static buzzing]
Rufus: ARGH, that sadistic host just HAD to bring HER back of all people! My only hope is that she's gone sooner than later, preferably by the end of today!
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Rarity sitting on the steps of the cabins when Emerald steps before her]
Rarity: Huh? [looks up and almost pales when she sees Emerald glaring at her] Oh...hello, Emerald...um...long time no see? [grimaces upon seeing Emerald still giving her a cold look] Um...can I help you with something…?
Emerald: Yes...you can help by staying out of my way and making sure that you know your place, that way, I won't see fit to destroy you...unless I decide otherwise…[walks away, leaving a shell-shocked unicorn behind]
[static buzzing]
Rarity: You know, when I'm arranging gems for my outfits in the boutique, I think they look positively darling. When they're physically threatening me with violence...not so much…
[static buzzing]
Emerald: Who cares about making allies? I don't need anybody's help to get through this game, especially those who are undeserving of my assistance. So if I'm going into the fray alone, so be it!
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to Rufus sitting underneath a tree when he spots Emerald approaching him and his breath hilts]
Rufus: [under his breath] Oh, drat…
[just as Emerald opens her mouth to haze the vulpine, the loudspeaker comes on]
Loudspeaker: [off-screen] Attention, campers! It's challenge time! Meet me in the center of the forest where you'll be getting another surprise! One that I'm sure some of you will love! [chuckles]
Emerald: Hmph! [looks back at Rufus] Well, come on, get your pleb bottom into gear and get moving!
Rufus: Hmm…[walks uncomfortably past Emerald who is still glowering at him as she follows him]
[static buzzing]
Rufus: I honestly don't understand how that woman can act as if she's innocent in this whole debacle when she clearly intended to have me voted out not too long, what an utter hypocrite…[his eyes dart from left to right, just to make sure a certain someone isn't hearing]...she's not close around here at the moment, right?
[static buzzing]
[scene cuts to the contestants standing before a white line as Chris stands a few inches away on the other side]
Chris: Today's challenge is the classic game of the three-legged race. You will each be put into pairs with a ribbon tied between one of your legs next to your partner's and race all the way to the finish line about a mile or so right over there. However, this won't be any ordinary race as there will be a few surprises along the way. [chuckles]
Steele: [to Balto] Take a shot every time he says "surprises", cuz I've a feeling he's up to something.
Chris: Also, the pairs will be randomized by my decision to see who gets paired with who, ya' dig?
[Rufus grimaces uncomfortably at Emerald]
Chris: The first pair on the list is...Robin and Axel!
Axel: [fistpumps] Ho, yeah, baby! [high-fives the vulpine]
Robin: Tis a relief to still stand next to you, ma' dear.
Chris: Next up...Balto and Jo!
Balto: I-what?
Jo: Hmph, I suppose it could be worse…
Chris: Next...Rarity and Steele!
[the unicorn and the malamute glance questionably at each other with their eyes half-lidded]
Rufus: So, wait a minute, that means I'm with…[his eyes slowly turn to the right to see Emerald standing next to him as his eyes then look straight ahead with an expression of suppressed frustration]
[static buzzing]
Rufus: Seriously...I mean...SERIOUSLY?!
[static buzzing]
Emerald: [with a stick in her hand] Looks like I'm stuck working with him once again, but this time, I'm not following his directions, he's following mine. And he'd better do so or else...well, I'm sure you can draw your own conclusions on that…[snaps the stick in two]
[static buzzing]
Chris: Looks like I scored a real deal with pairing those two together, will they be able to stand each other long enough to win the race, or will Emerald practically slaughter Rufus beforehand? Find out the answer to that when we return on Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[scene cuts to black, the episode continues]
[scene shows the contestants in their respective pairs waiting at the starting line]
Jo: Alright then, fuzzball, listen up, I'm in charge of this mission, follow my lead and don't trail behind, you got that?
Balto: [sighs and rolls his eyes] Yeah, I got that…
Jo: Good, maybe we'll have a chance of winning after all.
Balto: [looks at the camera with an unamused expression on his face]
Steele: Well, fancy seeing you this up close and personal, princess.
Rarity: Please don't push it.
Steele: Hmph, ya' don't have to worry about me playing horndog on you, I'm not even swingin' that way.
Rarity: [stares in surprise at this with a hint of a blush] Oh...I see…
Axel: Heh, fancy we're the only ones who got stuck with someone we wanted, eh, baby?
Robin: Quite so, now let's see if we can win the race at the same time.
Axel: Well, you can be certain that I got ma' game face on fa' this.
Robin: [chuckles] Oh, you are such a card, darling.
Rufus: [grunts as Emerald wraps the ribbon tightly around his leg next to her's] Must you be so rough with that?
Emerald: Last time I checked, I didn't ask for your input, now did I?
Rufus: Well, no, but-
Emerald: [points a finger at his nose] So I say ZIP IT!
Rufus: [cringes, but doesn't say anymore]
Chris: [at the finish line holding a megaphone] Alright, runners, first pair to reach the finish line wins invincibility and a night at the spa hotel! On your marks...get set...GO! [blows the air horn]
[with that, the contestants dash from the starting line and head out onto the open field. In their current position, Robin and Axel are in the lead with Balto and Jo close behind while Rarity and Steele are neck-and-neck with Rufus and Emerald. However, Balto and Jo are gaining more of a lead on Robin and Axel and eventually surpass the two]
Jo: Haha, first place, here we-
[at that moment, the two step on a hidden landmine which sends them both screaming in the air and then landing in a bush as the others pass them]
Balto: [as he tries to pull him out of the brambles] ACK! Where the heck did that come from?!
Jo: [sticks her head from outside the bush] GRRR, damn you, Chris!
[scene cuts to Chef hiding behind the trees with a bazooka in hand and a can of pasta in his other]
Chef: [softly] Time fo' dinner, suckas…[chuckles darkly as he loads the can into the bazooka and aim at the approaching contestants]
[a volley of pasta blasts suddenly whoosh through the contestants' paths. While Robin and Axel along with Rufus and Emerald are able to escape the onslaught, Rarity and Steele aren't so lucky as a large chunk of pasta splatters in between them, knocking them to the ground]
Steele: ARGH, THIS S**T BURNS!
Rarity: AAH, IT'S ALL OVER ME! AND IN MY HAIR!
Chef: [off-screen] There's plenty more where that came from…[on-screen]...in case ya' wan' extras…[cackles loudly]
[scene cuts to the two remaining pairs only several yards away from the finish line]
Axel: There it is, we're gonna make it, baby!
Robin: Hoho, marvelous! [upon further inspection of the approaching finish line, he detects a cannon on the opposite end of the finish line with an intern lighting the fuse] Wait a minute…
Chris: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
[the cannon fires out a large punching glove right in the direction of the approaching contestants. While Rufus and Emerald are able to evade the destructive blow, Robin and Axel are unfortunately met with the glove punching hard against them, knocking them back several yards and onto the ground with a THUD]
Axel: AGH…[inhales sharply]...aaaah...f**k, that hurt...you alright, Robin…?
Robin: Well…[hisses in pain]...I've been better…
Emerald: Well, now that they're all out of the way, come on, onwards!
Rufus: [as he gets pulled along by Emerald] YIP! Steady on now!
[at last, Rufus and Emerald cross the finish line]
Chris: This just in, Rufus and Emerald are the winners of today's challenge! Meaning they're both safe from elimination and have won themselves a night at the spa hotel! And coming up the rear, we have...Rarity and Steele in a messy finish!
Steele: Go f**k yourself, McLean.
Rarity: [shudders] I need a shower…
Chris: And then behind them is...Balto and Jo, looking like they just went through a jungle and back!
Jo: [as she removes a branch nestled in her hoodie] God, you have no idea how much I wanna hurt you…
Balto: [as he removes a twig from his top fur] Honestly, I don't blame you…
Chris: And finally, in last place, we have Robin and Axel slugging their way across the line, yeesh, looks like they got the wind knocked outta them. I wonder what that could have be-[gets punched in the arm by a grey fist]-OW!
Axel: That's what you get, prick! That s**t really f**king hurt!
Robin: I concur, that was completely unwarranted!
Chris: [as he rubs his arm with an irritated expression on his face] Talk about sore losers…[tries to recompose with his usual condescending smile] Anyways, I'll see you all at the campfire ceremony to see who's gettin' the boot tonight. [as he walks away, a cunning smirk spreads across his face]
[scene cuts to black, at the Campfire Ceremony]
Chris: Now then, seeing as Emerald and Rufus are safe from elimination from winning today's challenge, the rest of you are ripe for the picking. However, tonight, I have a surprise for all of you.
Steele: [rolls his eyes] Oh, let me guess, ya' run out of marshmallows or something?
Chris: Nope, it's something I'm sure you're all gonna love to hear. Tonight, no votes will be needed.
Balto: Oh, so does that mean nobody's going home tonight?
Chris: Oh, Balto. Poor, naive Balto, somebody is getting eliminated tonight, but not someone. You all ever heard of the phrase "killing two birds with one stone"?
[several of the contestants are now suddenly anxious upon hearing this]
Chris: I thought so, and it just so happens that Robin and Axel were the last pair to cross the finish line, which means...they're both getting eliminated!
[the contestants gasp]
Axel and Robin: What?!
Jo: Are you kidding me?!
Rarity: Wait a minute, you never said anything about this!
Chris: Well, duh, that's why it's called a surprise, ya' dig?
Rarity: You're just making this up as you go along, aren't you?
Chris: Let me think about that...yes, yes I am. Robin, Axel, it's time for the two of you to hit the Dock of Shame!
Axel: [hits the side of his seat] Unf**king believable, he played us like a damn fiddle!
Robin: [sighs] While he was disingenuous about not informing us of this beforehand, I'm afraid that we must abide by this…[puts a hand to Axel's]...I mean, at least the two of us are going together…
Axel: [looks toward the fox...and sighs] Yeah, I suppose ya' right…[links his hand with Robin's]
[scene cuts to the Dock of Shame as the six contestants stand at attention while Robin and Axel board the Boat of Losers]
Axel: I suppose it's not all bad...I mean, I may have lost the money, but I still got somethin' outta this experience...you~
Robin: And I feel the same way, my darling~
[the English fox and the greaser wolf move closer to each other's lips and embrace each other in a kiss as the boat departs from the dock and heads off into the night before disappearing from view]
[static buzzing]
Emerald: While those two weren't my ideal targets, having them gone is still a win in my books as it provides less people to challenge me. Huh, "killing two birds with one stone"...I like the sound of that.
[static buzzing]
Rufus: So I'm stuck spending an entire night with Emerald...brilliant, just...brilliant…
[static buzzing]
Chris: Well, wasn't that a day full of surprises? Bringing back old friends, sharing some laughs along the way, and saying goodbye to two contestants in one sitting, it just doesn't get any better than this. Will we be able to top the surprises from today, I sure intend to do so, next time on Total...Drama...Reloaded!
[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]