Prologue
Hey everyone! I haven't written a fan fiction that wasn't for myself in such a long time, so apologies if my writing is a bit clunky. Ah, who am I kidding. I'm still writing for myself except I'm sharing it with all of you. Eh.
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Over the hills and ledges of the friendly green tones of Spiral Mountain, laid a rather dormant town called Showdown Town, a place where rhinos and pigs could shop at their leisure and hang around the town square aimlessly as the dickens. But in the middle of the town was a large, towering arcade machine that cast a shadow over the town.
Yes, it was the Lord of Games' factory, being the prime location of many a video game. Good, bad, mediocre, games that were likened to that of a darkened soul that apparently is rave with "internet reviewers" these days, all of that came from one factory that endlessly churns out all products. And occupying the main floor was its lone worker, a witch named Gruntilda Winkybunion, being held for all eternity to make endless rubbish that will eventually get a four out of ten on review sites.
Gruntilda was once a persistent pest, going from attempting to steal a toddler's beauty for herself, to stealing the life force of the entire Isle O' Hags for herself, to outright stealing Spiral Mountain for herself. Also she might've had a time machine once.
After her last fight though, her motivation and confident whittled to nothing more than mere dust, endlessly and dully carrying out boxes, more boxes, warm milk for her cat Piddles, re-arranging orders, answering to customer complaints, the whole shebang. Day in, day out, never a break nor vacation, for eleven years. It's sure to break someone's psyche.
The witch slammed a box of returned Kinect devices onto a table and growled, misery at her robotic back not being how it used to be. "Eleven years and not a break, how much can this poor witch take.. ?!" At least her rhyming was still in top shape. She looked behind her on one of the crates and saw her boss, Piddles, glaring at her with a prrowl.
"Purrrrll.. I didn't say stop.." She leapt onto the floor and looked up at Grunty. "Dumb ol' witch doesn't know how to work anymore.. prrrr.. maybe tell LOG to get rid of rubbish and replace her with another rubbish. I think I know a certain bobcat or a hedgehog who could fill your position nicely.."
The name "LOG" set Gruntilda off, as she finally smacked the box off onto the floor and squealed, hopping up and down angrily. "GraaaAAAH! LOG this, LOG that! It's all I ever hear! That floating lout will one day feel fear!" She then started kicking at the Kinect devices angrily, stomping them, tossing them, all in all, throwing a huge temper tantrum.
"If that LOG really thinks he can keep me in the workforce, he'll answer to me! I'LL MAKE THINGS WORSE!" Piddles never really saw Gruntilda this angry before. Probably missed her coffee break. Oh wait, she can't drink.. or eat.
"Ahem?" Grunty was bashing a device onto the floor when a cold, snarky toned British computerized voice spoke up behind her. It was the Lord of Games himself, floating in place with a disapproving look. "You better be relieved that what you are doing is such camaderies not in production anymore, or you would be in serious trouble."
"Oh, uh.. um." Grunty cheekily grinned, starting to put the devices back in their boxes.
"I see, no rhyming?. I figured, making that tic of yours back some twenty years ago got on my wires quickly." LOG floated around Gruntilda and looked down at her. "You're on thin ice, Winkybunion. I get complaints about you all the time from your ragged feline. Skipping work, skipping duties, skipping rope.."
"I like to pass time with jump rope! Can't you see my dying hope?!"
"You're missing the point." LOG suddenly got into her face, a much grim tone that he so often used to make a point. "I can easily fade you out with a blink of my monitor. One move, and you'll be banished to development hell. A place where all that could potentially be released to the market- don't. You ever wonder what happened to that Jon fellow?"
"I don't know any Jon, I have no idea what you're on." Gruntilda said plainly.
"Exactly." LOG frisked back in front of Gruntilda and looked down at her. "One more outburst like this and it'll be eternity for you. I do hope this will be the last time we have a problem." The lord of Games turned around and started to float away to the doors.
".. " Gruntilda looked at her wrists. Eleven years working in this establishment, her robotic wrists slowly deteriorating away to show off her robotic interior. She wasn't going to work for eleven more years.
This will be the last time we have a problem, she thought, how powerful will the god be when he's fallen?
Somewhere deep inside her, flares of the old witch's devious energy had shown up again. Ready for another scheme, another day to ruin the world under her witchy hands! And with a glare at Piddles, that cat stared back with a look that said "well, about time."
"Piddles my dear, tackle the god down. We'll soon bring havoc to this town." Grunty said with a grin as wicked as the day she was born. Ew.
As LOG was about to leave the factory doors, the last thing he had expected suddenly smacked him down to the floor. Claw marks and purple fur rubbed off on the god as he yelled. "Hey, what the BLAZES?!"
Before the god could do anything though, the witch, being all-time reigning champion in sumo wrestling for three years straight in witch school, tackled LOG and held him to the ground face first, his little mouse critters scared out of their mind!
"You're damn right there will be no toil! I'll rule this land and watch you BOIL!" The witch ripped open the back cover of LOG's monitor, showing off the various chips that the deity had installed in him. One by one she started yanking them out to the sweet dulcets of the lord's screams of bloody murder, the room started glitching out, causing everyone inside to spaz until a single blip suddenly blinked them out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAA̶̡̢̻͍̻̯̻͔̝̝͝͠A͎̗͍̕͢͠ͅA̷̡̺̳̺̺͖̝̰͍͎̩À̙̰̲͇̰̮͖͙̪̦͓͖̘͢A͏͍̭͎̺̗͖̯̀A͞҉̴͇͍̣̼̙̟̱̤̥̹͈̩A̡̞̺̯̬͍̜̘͖͇̻̫͘͘̕A̯͖͉̼̤̗͎̯͔̲̠͉̣̳͔̗̱̳̲͘͟͝A̶͍̞͙̰̱͚̤̼̪͇͉̜͝ A—-"
BANJO-THREEIE:
ANOTHER FAN FIC
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