Banjo and Kazooie weren't exactly on the most social terms with Jolly, him not being as.. What's the worst? Kept to himself, as much of Banjo's other friends were. King Jingaling was friendly if not a bit eccentric, Mumbo was kind of a blowhard but was all up for beating Gruntilda yet again, Jolly? The interaction that Banjo could recall most vividly was an intoxicated tall frog trying to get them to try his Seaman's Surprise. With his hot pink pants around his legs. The bear shivered as he recalled. Here's to hoping this will be over quickly, Banjo thought. Kazooie had the same thoughts too, even if watching the bartender turned black market dealer hitting on her friend was funny.
As soon as the duo and their friends entered the portal to the game, they were instantly pummelled by the loud, rampant music that affected their sensory. Banjo shut his eyes and closed his ears, yelling out loud; Kazooie was gritting her teeth and zipping the backpack shut. The heroes stumbled upon a rave party, full of color-blinding flashy lights and loud booming music that shook the large building up and down. In the middle of it all was a color changing stage with a crowd surrounding something, a dancing reprogrammed Jolly Roger! Or Dodger!
"IT'S JOLLY!" Banjo yelled to the others. Sadly, the music was that overwhelming.
"WHAT?!" Mumbo replied, "MUMBO NO HEAR! MUSIC REALLY LOUD!"
"I do say, I don't suppose someone can turn this music off, right?!" Coming from Jingaling, the party king himself, this was a huge statement.
"Guuhhh! KAZOOIE! WE NEED TO TURN THE MUSIC OFF!" The bear unzipped at his pack, with an annoyed Kazooie shooting her head out. "Graaaah! I WAS AVOIDING THIS STUPID MUSIC BEFORE-"
"Yeah! We need to SHUT IT OFF!" The bear was cringing hard and starting to tear up at the eyes from the sensory overload. He grabbed at Kazooie and dove into the crowd, trying to find a good place to stop the music. Moving and weaving across the tall figures and strafing towards the large speakers that took up a good chunk of the room space. Walking around it, he found a bunch of outlet strips nestled up against a single socket, spouting off bits of electricity and being generally unsafe to keep plugged in.
"Alright, do you want us to unplug it or-" Banjo started.
"WHAT?!" Kazooie replied.
"AH SAID, DO YOU WANT US TO UNPLUG IT OR DO-"
"DO YOU WANT US TO BUTTCHUG IT?! GROSS, BANJO!" This bit was getting ridiculous.
"NO! I MEAN-"
"Graaaaaaah- SCREW THIS!" Kazooie yelled, before shooting a single grenade egg at the socket. As soon as Banjo saw what type of egg was shot out, he immediately ran in the opposite direction before the big explosions hit. Wires and pieces of speakers were scattered across the dance floor, getting everyone's attention towards the bear and bird who were on the floor, shying away from being hit by any debris. The music stopped, but the noise started up again with the audience and clubbers who were having fun booing at the duo.
"Wuh-oh, Banjo. Looks like we made them mad."
"Well, at least the music's stopped..!" Suddenly, a loud, dainty voice was heard over one of the working intercoms, fuming with rage.
"MY. CLUB. YOU RUINED. MY.. CLUB!" A sharp feedback was then heard as the microphone was dropped to the floor, a slim figure donning a gaudy magenta Village People outfit called out the duo from the stage. It was Jolly Roger, dressed up like Glenn Hughes!
"Oh, my, GOD. I can't EVEN. YOU TWO, ON STAGE. NOW!" Jolly ordered the two to come up on stage, his silver necklaces beating against his slimy frog chest. "You two are NOT going to just ruin MY club and get away with it!"
".. Is that ugly looking simpleton talking to us?" Kazooie looked over at Banjo.
"Kazooie, that's Jolly! We gotta get that chip offa 'im!"
"Yeah, but we don't even know where it is!" Suddenly, the duo was again interrupted by the frog.
"Uh, HELLO. Am I being IGNORED HERE? MY NEEDS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
"Ah dun' like it when he yells.." Banjo and Kazooie walked up onto the dance floor to look up at the possessed frog, looking back at Mumbo and Jingaling, who were pushed along to stand with the duo.
"So, YOU think you can just waltz up in my club, and ruin everyone's fun?! HMPH, that makes me so ANGRY. Ooer!" Jolly was livid at this point, yet Kazooie couldn't stop laughing at that soft feminine voice sounding so angry.
"Pahaha, what, are you going to hit us with pillows? What can you possibly do to punish us?" The breegull always being the one to tempt fate, she couldn't possibly expect Jolly to do anything she hadn't faced before.
With a wicked grin, the froggy snapped his fingers. Instantly, the arena went dark except for a single purple colored spotlight shone on him. A rave beat started to play across the building, giving everything a slight rumble.
"We're gonna dance-off, cutie~." The frog undid his black leather jacket and revealed his green lean chest, tapping his shoes onto the floor. Jolly then thrusted his body and gyrated his hips in a circular motion, still staring at them. "Me versus all of you. Winner gets to be the dance champion, loser gets banned for life! Ooer!~"
Our heroes immediately stared at the frog, Banjo and Kazooie shielding their eyes, Mumbo looking unimpressed, and Jingaling rolling his eyes.
"Pffft, frog think dance moves impressive? Mumbo show you how to boogie." The skull-headed shaman instantly threw his staff at the floor, jumping forward to shimmy his shoulders and shake his hips, dancing to the beat. He looked back at the others and grinned. "Come on, dancing not so bad, unless you big turkeys!"
Banjo was never much of a dancer, in fact he absolutely hated dancing in front of other people in fear of embarrassing himself. It felt super awkward having to shake his body in front of other people, and usually it ended with Banjo running off to drink some water and sit out some heavy dance parties. Kazooie was usually bolder than Banjo, but there was no way she would want to dance against a sweaty, creepy frog.
"Ugh, fine." Kazooie muttered, leaping out onto the rave floor and half-heartedly dancing away. She was walking back and forth, keeping her head in a fixed place. "Oooo, I'm dancing, ooooh." Yeah, she was not going to beat the bad guy this time.
"Uh.." Banjo blinked, then did some dumb disco dance moves, finger pointed up into the air and his hips shaking in place before he quickly stopped. "Ah'm sorry, I.. no thank you." The heroes of this fanfic who risked dying multiple times to save the day, just couldn't bring themselves to be humiliated to save their friend.
"Hmmhmm," King Jingaling chuckled and stepped up onto the dance floor. He wasn't called the Boogie King for nothing! The Jinjo King clapped his hands and shook his hips and rump, moving his arms in a circle and grinned. "You're missing out, you two! I do think this is a fun genre!"
"Noooo, I think we're good," Banjo looked at Kazooie, who had quickly stopped dancing as well, "right Kazooie?"
"Sure, yeah. Let's just.. Get some drinks and watch this mess. Preferably far away." The duo walked away from the dance floor and grabbed some vacation juice.. Which was a glass of OJ with some sunglasses topping it off.
Banjo and Kazooie watched from afar as he saw Jolly going up against Mumbo and Jingaling, hoping that either of them could outlast Jolly. Quickly, Kazooie got bored of playing by the rules of the game. She wanted to be beating up people, not watching people get sweaty by dancing! "Graaaah, I can't take it! We need to get that chip!" Kazooie threw away her vacation juice, plastering it all over a bystander's face. "Got any bright ideas, Banjo?"
Taking initiative, Banjo tried to think about how they can take down the possessed dance freak. "... uh, he's a cold-blooded animal, right? Maybe if we put some ice on him, he'll lose the dance contest?"
Kazooie immediately threw the idea away, "That's gotta be the stupidest way to take down a frog!" She then glanced over at Jingaling slowly but surely getting tired, the weight on him starting to wear out as Mumbo and Jolly danced on, face to face.
"I.. phew.. I admit.. He has some really great energy to.. Dance like that!" The king panted, looking at the frog as he did the splits, springing back up and kept dancing the night away. The Jinjo eventually slumped off stage and walked over to the bear and bird, who were trying to think of a plan.
"Maybe we can grab a bucket of ice, fly it over his head, and drop it all over-"
"But dat would mean we have to steal from the bartender! An' ahm no criminal.." Banjo moaned. What a cinnamon biscuit.
"The bartender is a nameless, faceless NPC, Banjo! It doesn't matter if- Whattya want?" Jingaling was suddenly met with Kazooie glaring at him, in the middle of a banter with her bestie.
The king cleared his throat, ".. Ahem, apologies for intruding, but you do realize you can shoot ice eggs, right?"
"... I shoot the egg, you two tackle him."
"Excuse me?!" Jingaling exclaimed, but Banjo nodded attentively. "C'mon, Chickenwing! It's to save LOG! Uh, and Jolly!"
"Oh, alright. You're lucky I partook in some Jinjo Football as a youngling."
As Banjo and Jingaling stood their ground, Kazooie made a running start and took to the air! The large arena made it easy to fly in such a building, but it wasn't easy. Maneuvering away from wires, spotlights and disco balls wasn't an easy feat! Mumbo barely looked up and figured that stinky bird had a plan.
"Uh, sweetie?" Jolly said in a passive aggressive tone. "What's wrong, Boney? Can't keep up with the Dance King?" Jolly smirked and started to flop on the floor, doing the worm.
The shaman sneered, was this all he had? Basic clubbing moves? "Mumbo perfected the worm before you were tadpole, Frog!" And as the two were flailing on the ground, Kazooie felt it appropriate to cease the dumb contest immediately.
"BOMBS AWAY!" She spat out an ice egg at Jolly's body, and immediately saw it freeze in place, causing the frog to widen his eyes and stay on the ground to shiver and shudder.
"AAAH! Can't.. move.. can't.. shake my cute rump.. ooer.." The amphibian glared up at Kazooie flying off and growled, attempting to get up. "No.. fair! DISQUALIFIED! THAT'S.. INTERFERENCE!" And the crowd is jeering at Jolly's lack of moves as he laid down on the ground, failing to get up and missing some serious beats!
"Oh, shame on you all! SHAME! I'M PERFECT AND FABULOUS, OOER!" A moving shadow suddenly appeared before him, revealed to be Mumbo looking down at him.
"Frog remember when not serve Mumbo's kind in pub?"
The frog stammered, not liking his tone. "N-no..?"
"Well, Mumbo do. Hit it!"
The poppy club beat stopped, and was soon replaced with a folksy Russian tune. Suddenly Jolly saw Mumbo don a ushanka and a telogreika. Soon as the tune started, the shaman started to cross his arms and squat dance in front of him, kicking him in the gut with one foot and the other!
"AHH! Stop-OW! STOP THAT! YOU'LL REGRET THIS!" As the ice was wearing off, Banjo and Jingaling made their move and tackled the frog to the ground. The king using his large physique to good use by holding him down, and Banjo looking for where the chip was located on Jolly.
"Aaah, get off of me! I don't like the rough stuff!"
Banjo ignored the constant innuendos and searched Jolly's person to find the chip. Not on his neck, arm, head, back, chest.. then he looked down at Jolly's rear end.
The chip was sticking out of his pants from the back.
King Jingaling blinked, ".. Oh, hell no."
Whilst Mumbo was Russian dance kicking Jolly in the face, the other three glazed at each other with worry and hesitation. That witch had a sick sense of humor.
".. Onetwothree not it!" Kazooie suddenly rang out, leaving Banjo confused for a minute. "Guh?"
"Not it!" The king replied.
"Not— D'OOOOH!" Banjo whined, gritting his teeth. Today was not his day. He set a reminder for himself to get back at Kazooie one of these days. But that'll have to wait, Mumbo's legs were slowing down!
With a shiver and a long groan, the disgusted bear reached deep into Jolly's pants to grab at the chip, pulling it out as he briefly touched at other stuff he didn't want to think too much about.
"NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT, IT'S SENSITIVE!" The frog yelped.
Gritting his teeth; Banjo yoinked the sticky, slimy chip off of Jolly as the game suddenly glitches out of existence. No more was the obnoxious music or flashy light show, but Jolly on the ground, unconscious and dazed.. and his face somehow hurting. Mumbo made sure to stop before he came to, but that was some well deserved payback. Banjo, on the other hand, had a bunch of regrets as he immediately threw aside the chip. He needed a sink, stat.
"Oooeeeeer.. what happened?" Jolly looked back and saw Jingaling, Kazooie and Banjo on top of him, but his eyes only laid on Banjo.
"Oooer, teddy bear! I knew you had these feelings for me!~" the frog happily gleamed. Immediately, Banjo leapt off of him and gagged.
After a quick explanation, and Jolly agreeing to help in any way he can, it was time for LOG to get one of his chips back. Kazooie inserted the chip in his monitor, and the god gleamed once again.
"AaaAAAAAAAA. I feel a bit better.. although I feel the need to ask why this specific chip is rather oily."
"Don't ask, just open the next portal." Kazooie was absolutely done with dancing for now.
"Impatience is a virtue that will land you in disappointment, avian." The god absolutely was wondering why one of his precious video game chips were slimy, but it was better to not dwell on it if the heroes were to save him and his position. He nevertheless opened up the next portal.. to Humba Instinct.
".. is this a fighting game?" Banjo asked before gulping. "Ah don't fancy fighting games."
"FIGHTING GAME?!" Kazooie felt her beak go agape, and she immediately dragged a resisting Banjo into the portal, with everyone else following suite. One wonders what will await them, but one thing that didn't occur to them just yet, is that the next game would be a killer.
Killer, killer, oh she's a killer.