Hello My Fanficateers!

Here we are again! Must we always play this dance, this tease, this tantalizing display of passion for the show we all love but miss with all our hearts? Why yes!

New Fan Fiction to quell our missing ship and show! (hint)

I have a MAJOR shout out to my co-author Shamy4evr (TreesRgreen). She's the most amazing person and really made this story come to life. I hope this helps our mutual isolation! Away we go!

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Sheldon

It was a scorching Friday afternoon in late September and though summer had well passed in Pasadena, there had been a surge in the temperature that day to 105 degrees. Sheldon was not looking forward to the hot car ride after work in such unusual weather conditions. However, instead of going home, Leonard wheezed something about not being able to breathe, and insisted on refilling his inhaler at a different drug store nearby work as he didn't want to drive the extra 10 blocks to the one Sheldon normally patronized to restock the medicine cabinet and had his prescription.

One thing Sheldon hated: Changes in his routine and Leonard had been pushing it lately with his impromptu marriage to Penny, their sporadic living arrangements and finally he had had the temerity to suggest that he and Penny move into 4A and Sheldon move into Penny's apartment. Not in any universe could Sheldon imagine that. Added to all of that had been rescheduled dinner nights due to "family obligations" and Raj's frequent trips to India to find a bride disrupted game nights more than once. This detour of Leonard's was another in a long line of changes and Sheldon was just about to crack; again.

After stopping the car in front of some strip mall off Colorado Blvd, Leonard selfishly rushed into the drug store, leaving Sheldon alone in the sauna-like car interior.

Sheldon was no stranger to heat. Being from West Texas, one becomes accustomed to air stealing weather, but it had been over 25 years since he had lived in that flaming swamp and heat was no longer his friend. Right now, the stickiness alone was driving him crazy. Even his forearms were sweaty and he briefly wished that he didn't insist on wearing an undershirt every day, and then realized the heat must be affecting his thinking processes as this was a habit he would never break.

His attire was part of his routine, and he saw no reason to change anything other than the logo of his t-shirt. Ironically today he was wearing his black melting Rubik's cube which seemed particularly apropos at that moment. So knowing that it was only a matter of time before he succumbed to the elements, he left the car to purchase a bottle of cool water from the coffee shop near where they had parked. In fact as he made his way towards the door of the café he thought that he might need to purchase two bottles: One to drink and, if Leonard didn't return from his false emergency soon, one to pour one over his head.

As Sheldon approached the door of the coffee shop, he looked down and almost stepped on a cell phone lying on the ground. He looked around for the owner, but the empty streets just reinforced his view that no intelligent person would be out in this heat. Uncharacteristically, he bent to pick up the phone and noticed that it was sheathed in a sturdy protective case, and seemed undamaged. Without thinking, he wiped the back on his moist sleeve, then realizing what he had done wondered why he had not used the hand sanitizer and spare rubber gloves in his bag, the heat had obviously affected his thinking process. God knows what pathogens enveloped this device.

He walked into the coffee shop and purchased two bottles of water, but couldn't take his eyes off the phone in his hand. He moved to one of the tables closest to the air conditioning vent and began to investigate the misplaced gadget. Maybe he could find out who it belonged to by going through the texts or calls. Possibly one of the numbers would be HOME or WIFE or something that might help him identify the owner. After all, Sheldon was a southern gentleman, and a gentleman would return lost property, unless it was the Ring of Power from Lord of the Rings, then all bets were off.

The phone was not locked and appeared fairly new. It was either that or the person who owned it didn't have a friend in the world as there were no contacts, no pictures and no other means by which he could glean any information about the owner. The only bit of data was outgoing and a number of missed calls, none of which had a name attached. However, two numbers had been calling constantly for the last 10 minutes.

Sheldon debated whether he should call the numbers, but just as he had decided against it, the phone rang and without thinking, he swiped the screen to accept the call. However, before he could say a word, he heard a gruff-voiced man jump in:

"Oh hey! I'm so glad you answered. Look, I'm sorry the date ended the way it did. Yeah, I know your cousin's wedding was a little weird. And perhaps catching me with her in the backroom may have been a bit of a shock! I don't know how, but it just happened, ya know. Please don't tell her husband I banged her. I think his family is connected if you know what I mean!"

Sheldon was too shocked to say a word, as the man continued his ranting, "I really was having such a great time talking to you though I couldn't understand half of what you were sayin'. I know... I know... I shouldn't have grabbed your ass. But in my defense, it really is a marvelous one."

Sheldon's face looked as if he had eaten an unripe lemon, "Um... excuse me, why would you grab this person's posterior?"

"Who the hell is this?" the man on the other end of the line sounded taciturn and decidedly unintelligent given that he did not answer Sheldon's question.

"I'm Sheldon. Who is this?"

"I thought this was the chick who I just had a date with at her cousin's wedding! She took off after she swung her purse in my face. God, what the hell did she have in there, books? I think I am going to have a black eye! Mind you, I don't think finding me with her cousin later helped the situation."

Sheldon was indifferent to this scallywag's complaints over well-deserved pain. He was obviously a cad since he felt it was appropriate to grab a woman's posterior. Sheldon had enough of that kind of behavior from his friend Howard, who had gotten Sheldon kicked out of the Bakersfield Comic Convention. During that ill-fated trip, Howard had groped one Cat Woman, but Sheldon had been advised that it was Sheldon's lecture to her Spiderman boyfriend on the benefits of not mixing the DC and Marvel Universes, that had caused the problem, rather than the assault on his girlfriend's honor.

Hearing the caller's heavy breathing, Sheldon's attention was brought back to the point of the call and he answered curtly, "Well, whatever was in her bag then is immaterial since her phone is not in it now. I assumed she dropped it. I am attempting to track her down to return the device to her. Do you know her name?" Sheldon was tempted to add, "Or were you too busy manhandling her to give it any thought", however, he needed information, so surprisingly he held his tongue.

Sheldon thought that the caller had hung up as there was silence for almost 20 seconds, but then the man answered and even Sheldon recognized the sneer in his voice, "Listen dude. I don't know who you are, but I'm in enough trouble as it is. I ain't telling you shit. Let's just say her name is...'Ballsy Babe' and leave it at that."

"Fair enough, but I think I like Moxie more." Sheldon had always loved that name as it reminded him of the bottle of pop by the same name that his Meemaw would sneak him when they went to the local Woolworths.

"Well that sounds like a hooker's name, it's too bad I didn't get to know her better. Anyway, I'll tell her cousin to tell her you found her phone."

Sheldon asked, "You're going to see her cousin again, what about her husband?"

"Erm.. you're right... You're on your own. If you ever do find her, tell her that Mr. Swinging-low said he was sorry for grabbing her ass. I mean, I should have waited for the next date."

"I'm sure she would agree. If I find her, I will tell her. Thank you." Sheldon hung up quickly muttering "for nothing" as he took a large drink of his now tepid water.

He looked out of the window to the car, and seeing that Leonard had not yet returned he was just about to bite the bullet and dial the second missed an incoming number when the phone tone signaled he had a text. Sheldon debated on whether he should read it, but he felt that it was the only clue he could follow.

He chuckled as he read the text:

"Listen up, you miscreant! I know you have my phone, I can track it on my computer! You are at the coffee shop down the street from the wedding! I have tried calling a number of times but with no result so am now reduced to texting. Just because you have an overabundance of testosterone pulsing through you is no excuse for being an arrogant ass! Not only did I have to listen to you chatter about mindless minutia for 30 minutes, but you then showed your true nature by having coitus with my cousin. The same cousin whose wedding we were attending! Groping women without their permission and stealing their phones is really over the line, even for a knuckle dragger like you! You don't even have the looks to back up your satyriasis nature, you letch! Don't you think I won't call the police!"

Sheldon smiled as he immediately typed a message back:

"Dear phone owner, this is not the Neanderthal who groped you. This is the person who found your phone. However, your overly affectionate date did call you while I was in possession of your phone, and wanted me to tell you that he offered a heartfelt apology for his behavior and the posterior grabbing. He begs for forgiveness and for you not to describe his boorish behavior to the husband of your cousin. He did not say it as eloquently as that, but you get the gist. Personally, I think you were in your rights to smack the masher and I hope your cousin's husband gets a lawyer soon."

It took a few seconds, before Sheldon got a text back:

"Oh dear. Forgive my outburst and the obvious statement, but you found my phone?"

"Nothing to forgive. You had no idea you were not communicating with that boorish brute, instead of the Good Samaritan who just wants to return your phone. To wit, how can I get this back to you? If you give me your name and address I can mail it to you."

"Thank you for retrieving my phone but I would rather not give my name or my address to a stranger if you don't mind."

"That is quite understandable, given your recent experience. I am in the coffee shop on Eagle Rock Blvd, which I think that you have already established from your tracking device. Nicely done."

"Thank you. If you could leave the phone at the coffee shop, I would be in your debt."

Strangely, Sheldon felt twinge of regret. For some reason he was interested in meeting this person and just leaving her phone seemed so final. However, through the window of the café, he could see that Leonard was standing at the car and looking around for him so he knew he had little time left. He texted back that he would leave the phone with the counter attendant and inform her that Ms. Moxie would be picking it up.

"Ms. Moxie?"

"Yes, it is far better than the name that man wanted to give you. Something to do with balls, but I doubt you are into sports. Ergo, Ms. Moxie for clocking the masher across the face. I am assuming it is Ms. Not Mrs. Unless infidelity runs in your family."

"It most certainly does not! It is definitely Ms., and will be for the foreseeable future, given my date today. My cousin's fifth wedding is a symptom of her condition. While I don't object to the concept of a wedding, I am baffled by the notion of one that takes place at a bowling alley. She looks for love in all the wrong places, as has been proven today. Love is a powerful drug for some."

"Well, I agree on both counts, the bowling alley and looking for love. I love koalas, but you don't see me tramping around to all the zoos."

"Well, my date was acting like an animal. He was even doing the deed with my cousin similar to a canine."

Sheldon viewed her text with a confused scowl. "I don't know what that means."

"Never mind. Thank you again, stranger. I think I should call you Phascolarctos Cineriusphile but that seems too lengthy."

"It does, though I do love Koalas, therefore a name depicting a fondness of koalas seems apropos."

"Well if I speak to you again, I might call you Marsupialophile. Just to save time. Good day."

"Good day."

Sheldon's smile had not abated since he had received the first text and as he put the phone down, he stared at it almost mesmerized. The phone itself seemed to be as fascinating to him as its owner. It had no girly sparkles like Penny's phone, and no silly wallpapers of smiling cats or other such frilly nonsense. Finally, noticing that Leonard was now pacing in front of the car, he quickly went to the main screen, memorized the number and handed the phone to the girl behind the counter.

"Uh, excuse me. I found this phone, and the owner will be coming to retrieve it. Her name is... Well, I don't know her name, but she goes by the name Ms. Moxie?"

The shop girl, whose name badge indicated that her name was 'Demona', looked up from her magazine. Her nose piecing and full sleeve tattoos weren't as shocking as her slack jawed response to Sheldon's perfectly pronounced syllables, "What? Boxie?"

Sheldon shook his head, "I weep for the future... Never mind...Just call her Moxie, okay?"

"OH! Okay. I'll save it for her." Reluctantly he handed the phone to the young girl with the vacant eyes. But as the girl grasped the phone, Sheldon couldn't let go. He seriously doubted whether this Demona person would remember his instructions or worse still, pocket the phone herself.

Leonard's shrill voice broke the staring contest and tug of war that Sheldon was having with coffee shop attendant.

"There you are! Geez, Sheldon! What are you doing? I had another asthma attack looking for you in this heat!" Leonard was panting and leaning on a table, but Sheldon ignored him, and continued his struggle with the counter girl.

Eventually, Sheldon realized that he had little choice here. He released the phone, and watched as Demona pulled it back and placed it under the counter. Leonard called out to him again but Sheldon continued to ignore him as he narrowed his eyes at the girl who was now popping her gum.

"Hey! Anyone can get it there! You need to lock it up!"

"Dude, you need to be locked up! It's fine. Chill." Her deadpan expression showed no signs that she was in the least bit worried about Ms. Moxie's phone, or Sheldon's feelings on the matter. One more gum pop and Sheldon was about ready to blow.

"No! I will not chill! She expects her phone to be safe!"

"Whatever, look Mister. I will leave it in the register." Demona shoved the phone in the slot for the twenties and slammed the drawer closed giving him a fake smile Sheldon. "Happy?"

"Not usually." Sheldon glared at her.

"I can believe that." She walked off to help the customer who had been waiting for her latte for the last 10 minutes.

Leonard approached Sheldon at the counter and with a wheeze, he asked, "What the hell are you doing, Sheldon! I've been looking for you for hours!"

"Don't exaggerate, Leonard. It has only been 10 minutes since you came back to the car."

Leonard took another puff from his new inhaler and screamed at Sheldon, "YOU SAW ME! And you didn't come out?! Sheldon that is so heartless! Even for you."

Sheldon looked down for a moment, then handed Leonard the extra bottle of water he had purchased, "Here."

Leonard took the water and shook his head, stunned, "You got me a bottle of water?"

Sheldon's eyes darted around as he quickly moved toward the door, and said, "Ah.. yeah... Let's say that. Ready to go?"

Leonard shoved his inhaler into his pocket and followed Sheldon muttering, "Yeah.. I'm ready. I've been ready... Sheldon!"

They walked back to the car, but not before Sheldon looked through the coffee shop window once more at Demona and shot her another glare. She showed him her teeth as she continued to make the overdue latte.

After a visit to the comic book store to meet up with Howard and Raj, and a stop at the local Chinese for takeout food, the group made their way back to the apartment for vintage game night. By then it had been two hours since Sheldon had found Moxie's phone.

Sheldon placed the food on the coffee table and sat in his spot as the others settled down to their usual routine of sorting out their orders. A routine they had practiced every Friday evening (not including annoying cancelations) for the last 10 years even though it seemed that each one of his friends had moved on with their lives. Howard and Bernadette were married with two children, and though Leonard still technically lived with Sheldon, he now spent most of his time at 4B with Penny. Both ladies were enjoying their usual Friday night at Penny's in a girly gathering probably cooing over the children, and talking about such ridiculous nonsense as Leonard and Penny's recent marriage. Raj was still single so at least one thing hadn't changed. The room hummed with inconsequential things that Sheldon cared little about. He thought about the intriguing stranger whose phone he found. He pulled out his phone, entered the number he had memorized, and texted the following:

"Hello lost phone. I certainly hope you have found your owner, and that you are now safe with her. I was none too pleased to leave you with that coffee shop girl, but alas that was all I could do. If you are home and safe, please text back. Thank you, Marsupialophile."

Sheldon placed his phone on the coffee table as Leonard brought him proper mustard and high sodium soy sauce to accompany his dinner. Looking at the phone in confusion, Leonard asked, "Who are you texting?"

"No one. Just a phone." He begrudgingly poured high sodium soy sauce on his dinner, but he kept one eye on the phone.

"Sheldon, that is strange, even for you. Tell me the truth, are you complaining to Time Warner Cable again? I told you, we switched last year, and they don't care that we missed that episode of Agents of Shield!"

"NO! I'm not..." But Sheldon's reply was cut off by the text alert tone from his phone. He smiled instantly when he recognized the incoming number.

"Dear Marsupialophile, yes I am home safe with my owner. I was purchased less than week ago, and it would have caused her great expense to get a replacement for me. She was pleased that you had texted her as she wanted to thank you for rescuing me from what surely could have been a horrible fate. It's so nice when someone does an unexpected good deed, that it seems as if a simple thank you just doesn't seem enough."

Sheldon read the text as Leonard brought him over a drink, a purple liquid Sheldon hadn't seen in years, "Leonard, is this grape Nehi?"

Leonard shrugged as he poked his food around, unaware of his roommate's broadening smile, "Yeah, I saw it at the drug store and picked some up."

Sheldon rubbed the bottle label with his thumb in a nostalgic haze. "Reminds me of Moxie soda pop... Thank you Leonard. That was unexpected."

The guys looked up in shock at this rare expression of gratitude, but Sheldon was already back on his phone, texting furiously,

"May I speak with your owner, or is she otherwise occupied?"

Sheldon took one bite of his dinner, but quickly grabbed the phone when the alert came on.

"Hello Marsupialophile. Thank you again."

"You are most welcome. I hope you have a pleasant evening planned to recover from your traumatic day."

Sheldon placed the phone down, took one more bite of his food, but his eye never left the device. He quickly grabbed the phone when he heard the alert again.

"I do. I am going to read a fascinating article from the Journal of Organic Chemistry, while drinking a cup of black tea and enjoying a bath. Seeing as my tap water tends to be more alkaline and the tea more acidic, the article I am reading about Aerobic Nickel-Catalyzed Hydroxysulfonylation of Alkenes Using Sodium Sulfinates seems appropriate."

Sheldon drew in a long breath and licked his lips to hide a spreading grin that Leonard, at least, couldn't help but notice. Sheldon took one more large bite from his dinner and put it down in favor of his phone.

There were three strange things about Sheldon that night: His dinner was forgotten, he never took his eyes off his phone, and the smile never left his face.

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Now, I know most Fan Fiction author's BEG for reviews, but please help me out. I really don't know if anyone is getting any stories lately. Just a quick line, a short hello into the void and tell me if you love it or hate it, or just a little line saying how much you miss our show!

Thanks again folks!

I will keep to my publishing schedule of Saturday and Wednesday, I promise!