A/N: This is my first time writing a FanFiction any input is greatly appreciated. Be nice. Thank you. :)
Jane lied in her hospital bed, Maura had left to work on a new case, her mother was at home collecting clothes for Jane to wear. As she lied there, thinking Jane wondered what would have happened if her baby survived this torment. She wasn't quite sure how she felt with the whole situation, apart of her blamed herself for the loss, apart of her wondered if she felt somewhat relieved that she could continue her job and not worry. Was that wrong? She thought to herself.
"Well, hopefully by tomorrow you will be discharged. Your wounds are healing very well Ms. Rizzoli." Said Jade her new nurse for the next twelve hours. "Thank god." Jane rolled her eyes and allowed the nurse to exam her wound and bruises.
A few hours passed by, Jane was in and out of sleep and suddenly a familiar voice, accent to be exact pulled her out of her sleep. "I tried calling you." Casey mumbled as he stood in the door way of the hospital room. "I didn't get it." Jane lied, she had gotten them. Two days ago she knew Casey tried calling her, but she didn't have the heart to tell him she had lost her baby. Their baby. Casey was just getting excited about being a dad and talking to Jane about visitation.
"I happen to be on my way back to Boston on leave and I heard that you were in the hospital. I figured you would have called me back." Casey walked over to the chair beside Jane. "If I knew you any better I would say you are avoiding talking to me or about what happen." Casey muttered in his English accent. "I'm not avoiding anything, just in shock that you are here." Jane huffed and turned to look Casey in the eyes, those eyes she fell in love with over and over again. "Jane, what happen?" Casey asked, the question he didn't know if he wanted the answer to.
Jane slowly slid up the bed and sighed heavily. " I was working a case, a minor she uh. She witnessed a murder and I was trying to protect her and the suspect shot her and I was trying to protect her and next thing I knew I was on the ground, being kicked. All I could see was Frankie." Jane paused as she felt tears, it was the first time she had talked about what had happened with anyone. "Frankie came after me, I heard Korsak shouting my name." Her eyes immediately left Casey's and she cleared her throat trying her best to hold back any tears that dared to fall. "Jane." Casey whispered and tried to reach for her hand, instantly feeling the brunette pull her hand away.
The two sat in silence for what felt like hours till Jane heard her mother at the door. "Janie." Angela shouted as she walked through the door, smiling then quickly loosing it and eyeing the man in the chair. "Charles." Angela said, annoyed. "I brought you some sweat pants and t-shirt. Jane I really think you need to get more exercise." Her mother set the bag in the table in front of the bed and sighed. "Thank you, Ma." Jane smiled at her mother and pointed to the chair on the other side of the bed. "You know what, Jane I will come by again and talk more, or you can call me when you get out of here." Casey said softly and stood up. Jane turned to look at the blonde man, eyeing him. "O-okay." Jane muttered and grabbed his hand softly and squeezed it and watched as he walked out of the hospital room.
"What was he doing here?" Angela asked, opening a book she had been reading. "He was on his way back to Boston and heard about my accident." Jane muttered out, looking up at the tv. "I didn't tell him about the baby." Jane took in a shaky breathe and continued to watch the black and white show that appeared on the tv. "In time you will, Janie."
Angela had left the hospital to go to work, and Maura texted Jane to inform her she was finishing up the paperwork and would be up shortly. Casey also texted Jane to tell her that he wanted to talk to her again. Jane shook her head and got up from the bed, she walked to the bathroom and changed her clothes that her mother had brought for her, relieved to be in clean clothes again. As the brunette stood in the mirror she ran her hands over her stomach and sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry." Barely a whisper, she shook her head and pulled her hair into a pony tale and walked back to the hospital bed.
"Jane." Maura walked into the room and saw her best friend sitting in the hospital bed, her hands on her stomach. "Hey." Jane smiled and removed her hands. "How is the case coming along?" The brunette asked as Maura sat down. "Well we still haven't caught the suspect, and I'm still running DNA analysis of the blood that was found on the knife. How are you?" The blonde asked, leaning back in the chair. "Casey came to see me." Jane muttered out, playing with her fingers. "Oh. Is he back in Boston?" Maura asked, raising an eyebrow. "He's on leave for two weeks, he heard about my accident." Jane shrugged her shoulders and looked around the room. "Maura, I couldn't come clean about the miscarriage to him." Jane looked at her best friend with the sad eyes, she always knew she could come clean about anything to Maura. "Well, maybe there is a subconscious reason you didn't tell him and in time I think that you will tell him." Maura shrugged and grabbed her best friends hand. Jane nodded and laid her head back, closing her eyes.
--R --
Two days later
"Casey, hey. D-do you u-uh want to go to dinner?" Jane asked over the phone, standings against her counter with her eyes closed. "Yeah, that sounds great Jane. Dirty Robber? Seven O'clock?" Casey asked over the phone and Jane almost sighed of relief. "Seven is great." Jane smiled and hung up the phone. She had to admit she was kind of nervous, she loved Casey, still and the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him.
Jane grabbed a pair of jeans and a tank top quickly changing, she grabbed a jacket and threw it on, her hair was down, beautiful and wavy as always. She quickly applied a light amount of make up and called it good, she slid on a pair of nice shoes and grabbed her phone. "Okay." Jane whispered to herself, grabbed her keys and walked out of her condo.
As the brunette walked through the door she saw the back of Caseys head and she sighed softly and walked over, clearing her throat as she reached the table. The blonde man slid the beer across the table as Jane sat down and smiled. "Hi." Jane said softly as she took a sip of beer. "Hey. How are you feeling?" Casey asked the brunette and smiled at her, he truly did miss seeing her face. "I'm okay. How are you?" She smiled at him, honestly something about Casey still made her feel week to her knees. "I'm okay." He chuckled and shook his head. He knew something serious needed to be talked about, but he was dreading it. Jane took a deep breath in and took another sip of her beer. "Uhm." Jane cleared her throat. How could she talk to someone about something she hasn't even felt herself? "Casey." She looked down for a second and he reached for her hand, knowing that most times would calm her down. "I-I had a miscarriage." The brunette mumbled and felt his hands sliding away, Jane instantly squeezed them and she couldn't look up, she couldn't face his emotions as hers was falling out of her control. Casey was frozen. Unsure of how to respond or even what to do. He felt Janes hands squeeze his and he looked at her, she felt his eyes on her and she looked up. Tears in hers and his eyes. "I-I'm so sorry." She muttered out and allowed his hands to pull away. It was quiet for what felt like an hour, but really it was a whole ten minutes of sitting there in silence and Casey avoiding her eyes.
"I didn't know how to tell you when I haven't even processed the information myself, I had every intention of tel-" Jane couldn't finish her statement before Casey jumped in and said " is this why you avoided my calls?" His voice almost sounded hurt. "Mostly." Jane replied and looked away. " I didn't know how to tell you this, you were just getting excited and it-it felt wrong to tell you just over the phone. W-without being able to... hold you or see your emotions." Jane sighed, she was awful at facing her problems. "Casey, I never had any intentions of keeping this from you." Jane whispered and leaned in to grab his hands. "I-.." Casey sighed. "I believe you." He muttered out and allowed the brunette to hold his hands, but he did not hold hers in return. He was confused. Mad, he was mad at Jane and mad at the person that caused this, well not caused but didn't know. He knew Jane was upset, but he was too.
They sat in silence for a while longer until Casey finally squeezed Janes hands in return, the sheer relief that went across her face allowed her to let the tears fall that have been burning her eyes for the last half hour. She turned away slightly from the people in the restaurant and she felt empty. The man across the table looked at Jane and watched the emotions come across the face. "C-can I take you home?" Casey asked, he wanted to continue to grieve this in private, not expecting this kind of news. He released her hands and stood up, waiting for her.
"Jane." Casey whispered as she unlocked her apartment door, no words were spoken in the drive back from the Dirty Robber.
"Casey, I don't know what to say." She walked in the door and left the door open for the man to come in. Casey quickly closed the door behind him and followed the brunette to the kitchen, watching as she grabbed two beers. "I haven't processed the information and talking about it doesn't help." She slid the beer across the counter and watched as the blonde man sat down. "I never intended for this." She muttered out and opened both beers.
" I know you didn't intend this, I just wish you would have been more careful." Casey took a big gulp of his beer and sighed, setting it down. " I should have." Jane shrugged and took a sip. "I'm mad." Casey admitted, shaking his head. " I know." Jane replied and watched the man across from her. "I know." She repeated and he looked at her. Casey felt a sudden pull and he stood up and walked over to the brunette, his eyes never leaving hers, he felt a sudden need to be there for her. Casey wrapped his arms around Janes lower back and she wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes, the emotions were too much to hold in, shaking she let it out, a whimper, a whine and then she started to cry. She couldn't hold it in anymore.
Casey held the brunette, letting his own tears fall as he felt the woman's body tremble in his arms. Slowly he pulled away from her, enough to look at her, Jane looked down, not eyeing him. "Jane." He whispered and she leaned into him and up, inches away from his lips, some kind of physical emotions was needed for her, maybe to avoid the rest of her emotions and Casey gave in, his lips touched hers and instantly the kiss heated with both need and grief from both sides. Janes body was pressed against Casey's and their hands were caressing each other.
"J-Jane we can't." Casey whispered as he pulled away, Jane was still numb as her eyes opened. "I know." Jane whispered and closed her eyes. Casey kissed the woman's forehead and pulled away. "I should go." Casey mumbled and pulled away from the brunette, walking to the door. Jane followed behind him and slowly opened the door. "I'm sorry, Casey." Jane whispered and watched as he walked out. Closing the door, she leaned against it and sighed heavily and slid down the door, tears falling freely.