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Sheldon

Sheldon relaxed back into his spot as the conversation around him blurred out of focus. The four weeks were up. It was time to guess her background, however, despite their constant texting Ms. Moxie was still a complete mystery to him.

"Theoretical Physicist?" he typed out with hopeful anticipation.

"Nope. Sorry. You lose."

His smile dropped like melted ice cream.

"Drats."

Then the death blow,

"I guess the same for you. Though I think you might specialize in String theory, but you dabble in Dark Matter. That's just my guess."

"Drats again."

Sheldon was not happy to have lost the wager though he was getting used to the feeling as he lost almost as many games with Ms. Moxie as he won. Now she had bested him again and had successfully guessed his professional background.

Sheldon was amazed that she had been able to guess with the little information he had given as he had studiously tried to avoid any mention of Theoretical Physics. However he had not been as successful as he thought. Their exchange of information had been eclectic. From topics such as the upcoming Thanksgiving Football games - something he could converse on with the best of them thanks to his father's tutelage, to religion - again something he was well versed in thanks to his mother's inclination. Science subjects had invariably cropped up, and it was his dismissive attitude of all other science fields that had led Ms. Moxie to the conclusion that Theoretical Physics was where his heart was.

But over and above his regret at losing, and amazement that she had successfully guessed his field, was disappointment. This stemmed from their agreement that the winner would not be required to reveal their own background, and this he regretted more than anything. However, at least now he was able to share more about himself, his work and his friends, which was enough for his ego at the moment.

As he broached the subject of his companions, Moxie insisted he did not reveal their names to which Sheldon agreed. So he named Leonard: Wheezy, Howard: Sneezy and Raj: Bashful.

With Disney in mind, he had initially thought about Penny being Snow White as that character had lived with 7 small men. But then, as he explained to Ms. Moxie, given his neighbor's cleaning habits, she could never be referred to as Snow White, so instead he had opted for the name Sleepy - after Sleeping Beauty. Again he explained that his neighbor is considered by many to be pretty hence the Beauty, however unlike Sleeping Beauty, she had had a number of sexual partners in the past, so he had opted for Sleepy because she refused to get up before 11 am when she was not working.

"After a long and somewhat tortuous courtship for their friends, she and Wheezy were married about six months ago."

As Sheldon added this, he thought about Penny and Leonard's marriage and how the change terrified him. Quickly putting that unpleasant subject from his mind, he told Moxie that Sneezy's wife was Doc since she had a doctorate and worked with sticky icky things like micro viruses and such.

"Doc and Sneezy now have two little ones so it's a good thing she adept at dealing with microbiology."

That little joke got an 'LOL' from Moxie.

Sheldon then moved on from the subject of his friends to the group's earlier conversation and how he had deflected their taunts, as well as his jibe at Howard, but Ms. Moxie was less than generous with her praise.

"Sheldon, as much as I admire your riposte, I think criticizing a person over their education status is petty. I'm sure not everyone in your social circle has your impressive background. Remember that TV show you told me about, and the character you admired so much. Not everyone can be Spock. Scotty and Chekov had their place too, right?"

He couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he realized that Ms. Moxie had made a valid reference. Using Star Trek to make a point, no matter how sharp it hit his ego, was a sure-fire way to ingratiate Ms. Moxie into his heart. He felt his pulse rise like a thermometer in August. Never had talking about Star Trek excited him so much.

Once again, he experienced that familiar tunnel vision he felt every time he conversed with her. It was as if she was the only person who could reach him, but more importantly, she seemed to be the only one who understood him. But he had to acknowledge her point about his friends. She was correct. Not everyone could be Spock. He now regretted using Disney Characters to give his friends code names, and wished he had used Star Trek, but the deed was done.

"You're right. My roommate Wheezy is lot like Kirk, he is impulsive, and in the past was always chasing women. Bashful couldn't speak to women for the longest time and though that is no longer the case he is still getting shot down by the female sex. So much so that lately he has asked his parents find a wife for him. So he could be the unnamed red shirt crew man. Ergo, mute and ineffective. Sneezy is an engineer so could be Scotty, except he could never live up to Scotty, so maybe we should ignore him."

"Doesn't the Enterprise need Scotty?"

"Yes... it does. And I must admit that despite what I have said, Sneezy is fairly competent as an engineer. Well at least for creating robot women. Space toilets, not so much."

"You should tell him that. (That he is competent, not the toilet thing.) I am sure he would appreciate hearing it from you."

"Fine, but not now. He was teasing me too much about you being my girlfriend."

"Well, I am sure they are curious, it is only natural. I mean, our relationship is unique and possibly awkward for some not accustomed to virtual relationships."

"Oh believe me, Sneezy is more than accustomed to being with virtual women."

"Even so, I am sure that your friends are constantly vetting your girlfriends to see if they will fit in your coterie or "space crew", so to speak"

"I've never had a girlfriend, though they did try to get me to go on a blind date arranged through a computer dating site, but I didn't succumb to their blackmail."

Sheldon had little patience with his friends' constant need to give into their primitive urges. But for his friends to attempt to pair bond him with some random stranger based on faulty algorithms was really the last straw. The assumption that Dr. Sheldon Cooper would find his soul mate with unsubstantiated math was the height of stupidity, even for his ignorant friends. A dating site? He had had to laugh at his friend's foolishness. As if Sheldon Cooper would be coerced by a dirty sock! Sheldon had forbidden anyone to mention the idea of him dating ever again, or they would get a strike and be required to take his class.

"I've tried those sites as well, they are a colossal waste of time."

"Agreed, the very idea that algorithms could determine your ideal mate is utter folly. But let us get back to a more sensible and realistic topic, that of a Space Crew. What role would you see yourself as in a hypothetical landing party?"

For him, there was no question what character he would be. Spock was the only choice. Ms. Moxie didn't reply for a few minutes and Sheldon wondered if she had been put off by his query. Just because he loved Star Trek related topics, he was unfortunately aware, thanks to Penny, that many females did not. Then he thought back to his other statement: That he had never had a girlfriend.

Sheldon held tightly onto his phone as he waited for her response. His anticipation of her reaction perplexed him. He had never cared what people thought about him before and he was sure he wasn't going to start now, but still he felt anxious that she might think him an odd duck, as Penny might say. When the phone buzzed in his sweaty palm, he let out the breath he was not aware he had been holding and closed his eyes for a moment before reading the text.

"Forgive the delay. I had to do some quick research on the crew of the Enterprise. I think that the blond Yeoman was quite fetching."

Sheldon smiled, and thought to himself, "A Moxiful Yeoman!" But before he could reply, he received a second text,

"However, truthfully, I have to say, I would be Dr. McCoy, because I loved the actor on Death Valley Days."

"I'm so pleased that you chose to be McCoy. We need a medical officer. Are you by chance a Doctor?"

"Possibly, but then again, maybe I am one of those lowly plebs who don't have a doctorate, like Sneezy."

There was no chance this woman was not educated. He smiled as he typed back,

"I highly doubt it."

"Don't you think I could be like Sneezy."

"Never! I am certain you have a doctorate"

"You don't know me. In fact I could be like that Sleepy Beauty you mentioned."

"I know you don't sleep until 11 AM, since you text back at 800 AM on the nose... so do you mean like having coitus with numerous partners?"

"Yes. I could be like that."

Sheldon refused to believe Ms. Moxie would give into her baser urges in such a manner as to be on par with his flighty neighbor Penny. But she could be. She could have many men interested in her. That date she had with the man from the wedding indicated that she was attractive. He had said that she had marvelous hind quarters, a lure for most men who were driven by their hind brains, to be couldn't believe Ms. Moxie would be with any man. Her taste was too refined, her mind too polished, her thoughts too sophisticated for the hordes of men that could be knocking at her door. She would have stringent standards that most men could never meet. She must have!

"I still don't believe it."

"You have no evidence to the contrary"

Sheldon had an uncomfortable feeling brewing in his gut. It could have been the terrible Mee Krob, or had Moxie hit a nerve.

He admitted to her in the next text,

"Or I don't want to believe that you are like that."

He smiled with relief when he read the next text:

"If that is what you want to think of me, then that is how I am. Besides which, it's also true."

He breathed out a sigh and leaned back in his chair.

"Good. Besides, I am so pleased you can be Dr. McCoy! My roommate lost our chance when he let Dr. Stephanie go as his girlfriend."

"I will have to hear more about Wheezy and this Stephanie person."

Sheldon squirmed and typed quickly,

"You don't by chance have a propensity to leave your medical instruments in people during surgery and have a large stuffed animal collection?"

"No."

Sheldon smiled at his text, but before he could respond further, he received another text that changed the subject back to the topic he would have rather avoided:

"Speaking of girlfriends, I am surprised that you have never had one. You seem to have a vigorous social group, you are well educated and I find that you are very easy to converse with. It is surprising that you have not had a romantic relationship. Have you never thought about having a companion?"

Sheldon let out a sigh and repeated the same argument he had stated numerous times to his friends:

"No, I have no need for romantic relationships. I find social interactions taxing to say the least. I can barely tolerate my roommate, who is actually my best friend, how could I possibly function or continue my current intellectual output if I had to juggle a girlfriend who like a succubus, would steal my precious time. Science is my only love. Always has been, always will be."

"Yes, societal constructs of pair bonding seem outdated at best."

Sheldon was surprised and elated at her answer.

"So you agree, dating is a waste of time?"

"Finding a mate is a completely inefficient use of time. If one is in need of a relationship then I think arranged marriages are the way to go."

"I should let you tell that to my foreign friend. It's just a matter of time before his parents find him a mate from India."

"Lucky bastard."

Sheldon smiled at her uncharacteristic use of bad language.

"He doesn't think he is so lucky. In fact, I think he enjoyed pursuing females for copulation rather than pair bonding, but he said it was time to settle down. Not that he is that successful at pursing females, mind you."

"Well, a purely sexual relationship would be far superior to one in which you had keep up with the social mores of dating and romantic endeavors. Just a quick 45-minute session a week and you're done."

Well, Sheldon thought, 45 minutes a week was a lot less time than his friends had spent pursuing females, but he was thankful he had never wasted his time on such folly. He typed back with a smug smile,

"I have no need for such activity."

"Really? Most people do have some need for sexual release. It's the hind brain's Biological imperative. Have you ever had interest or any type of attraction to another person, male or female?"

Sheldon thought for moment before he answered. He really had felt no attraction to any other person. He could identify an attractive person given social parameters, but not personally. No one had ever stopped him in his tracks, turned his head and convinced him that the effort required for a physical relationship was worth the emotional cost. No one. Sheldon typed back a truthful reply,

"None. It has never crossed my mind. In fact just because I don't want to waste my time in the pursuit of women like some rabid dog, the group says I am asexual. I admit that I have considered it. I don't have any interest in that aspect of human interaction. I consider sexual intercourse messy, unappealing and overall a wasted enterprise."

"Then you might well be asexual. Interesting."

Sheldon swallowed when he read her response and then typed back quickly,

"Interesting, how so?"

"There is not a large population of asexual people, so it is just another aspect of you that makes you so unique. I find it very intriguing."

Sheldon relaxed his grip on his phone,

"Really? Most people would be looking to find a way to convince me otherwise."

"I am not most people and one cannot be convinced of their sexual orientation. Besides, as I said, I love that you are so unique. I think personally that I identify more as sexually fluid, rather than adhering to labels and forced obligation.I also find the idea of a physical relationship taxing. Perhaps in the future, but not currently."

Sheldon read the text and frowned, unconsciously voicing the question, "What does "Sexually fluid" mean? Does she like to have coitus in water?"

The group, who had been ignoring Sheldon until then, stopped all conversation and looked at him. Sheldon noticed the lack of background noise and looked up. It was Penny who answered him, "Sheldon, sexually fluid means that a person isn't straight or gay. Their orientation isn't rigid."

Raj slammed his food down, "Dammit! Sheldon gets a girl who is down with anything, and we don't even know if he has genitals! This is so unfair!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes, "As I have said, on more than on occasion, I have genitals. They are functional and aesthetically pleasing. More importantly, she is 'not down with anything', or whatever your sick mind is thinking. She just said that she wouldn't waste her time on a physical relationship."

Leonard shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe her sexual fluidity is flowing toward a desert at the moment. So she's just like you!"

Sheldon frowned at Leonard, and bent to look at his phone. Though, when he was certain that the group wasn't looking at him, a smile curled up on his mouth. He had found someone who was just like him. Despite appearances to the contrary, he often saw the rolled eyes of his companions and sometimes understood the sarcastic comments he pretended to ignore. In a room of friends, he often felt alone, an outsider. However at this moment, he didn't feel that empty feeling. Suddenly he realized that he hadn't responded to her earlier text, but Ms. Moxie had already texted him back,

"Just to be clear, I do not find this relationship taxing."

Instantly Sheldon's smile bloomed to half his face as he wrote back quickly,

"Neither do I."

He remembered her early comments on her being akin to Penny and he had to know the truth.

"However back to the original topic and just out of curiosity... how many sexual partners have you had?"

Sheldon sucked in his bottom lip and awaited the response. He suddenly felt as if all eyes were upon him, so cupping his hand around the phone to shield the answer from their prying eyes, he stood up to take the conversation into his bedroom. He was certain that Penny would be able to understand his private messages just by the motion of his fingers as he texted. She had to have some unique super power relating to cell phones since she was always on hers.

He closed the bedroom door and locked it, and within 15 seconds he had a reply.

"How many do you think/wish I have had?"

Sheldon thought about his answer for a moment before he responded with true honesty:

"Well, since I have had none, it would be nice to think there is someone like me out there."

"Then none it is and that's the truth. Besides, when would I have the time? The time I could be spending in the contorted throws of ecstasy, I am busily responding to your texts."

"Time well spent."

"I agree. It's just as stimulating."

Sheldon took a minute to ask the next question, but he wanted to know how similar she was to him. Could he have found a person who had no interest in the messy act of coitus? Could he possibly have found the one person on the planet who like him would not be bothered with puerile pursuits like pair bonding and emotional entanglements.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?

Again there was a delay before she answered and he wondered if this was too personal a question, a step too far. But he had to know.

"Yes."

"I see."

Sheldon slumped down slightly in his bed.

"Have you?"

"Does my sister and mother count?"

"Not really."

"Then no."

"Oh... I think I should have answered no."

"I want you to be honest. Those are the rules."

"True and I am being honest. I was speaking more to the fact that I did not enjoy it."

Sheldon perked up with a smile. For some reason, her reply made him smile,

"Really?"

"Yes. In the end it seemed more like something I did just to say I had done it, rather than from desire. I felt nothing. I had wanted to test if I would be overwhelmed by his touch. That the act of kissing would leave me speechless and to know that the person I was kissing felt the same as me. But I didn't. I have not had the pleasure of that kind of connection with anyone, and I doubt I that I ever will."

Sheldon asked honestly from a place of pure ignorance,

"Is that Important? A connection with someone?'"

"I believe that most people think so."

Moxie:

As she cleaned up the dishes and she tried to keep up with their conversation, her soapy hands almost ruined her phone. She made a mental note to get a voice activated assistant to help with times like these. After the dishes, she retired to the couch to continue their conversation, a ritual she enjoyed. She had hated to scold Sheldon, but he didn't seem to know to how to speak with his friends. She didn't have any friends, and found the idea taxing. However, friendship seemed important to him so she'd help him protect it. She made note cards to keep track of his friends since he seemed to have so many and she was relieved that he had chosen simple nick names rather than something from the Science Fiction shows he liked so much.

He did a good job on changing the subject from his social faux pau, but unfortunately, he went on a tangent about some silly space show. She quite often needed to look up trivial things in most of her chats with Sheldon, especially with Science Fiction references. Once when he said he was in a No-Win scenario like the Kobayahsi Maru which she had thought was a Japanese dish before she looked up the reference as some training test in Star Trek. At least Deforest Kelly was in it, so it couldn't be so bad and she made a note to watch Death Valley Days at a later point.

She was preparing her bath when the conversation turned to sexual partners. When she could concentrate on his texts better, she read again, that he had never had a girlfriend, something she wondered about him for a while. It seemed impossible. When he had mentioned his stunning looking neighbor, she had felt an unfamiliar knot in her chest. But when he had said that he had never been with anyone. She relaxed. The whole conversation made her nerves tingle. The idea of texting a man while soaking in a warm bath full of bubbles seemed so naughty, but so had their conversation for the evening.

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

He asked as if the question as if it mattered. She wished it didn't.

No woman likes to be reminded of her younger, more immature self. When she was young, she had kissed a boy just to prove a point, almost a test. She practically had to bribe the boy to do it and the action did nothing for her. She was more focused on her work, her hobbies. She was an independent person who did not need a man to make her feel she was complete, who did not need to have her worth reflected in the eye of another.

Unfortunately her mother did not mirror her views. She was not looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with her parents, at the end of the month, and listening to her mother lament her single status. In fact, it was at her mother's behest, she had used one of those dating sites; a colossal waste of time. Each date worse than the last and the final straw was getting stood up at coffee shop a few years ago. Funnily enough it was the same coffee shop where Sheldon had found her phone.

Sheldon had asked her how many sexual partners she had had, as if that was important. She wondered if he was the type of man that said he wasn't interested in physical contact but his actions might be different. She wasn't sure how to react, until he said he had had none. Just like her.

She put the phone aside, and raised her leg out of the tub and looked at the water dripping off her calves in glistening sheets. Desire for a touch is ingrained in everyone's biology to some degree. If she had to put herself in a box, she preferred to keep her options open. She had attraction to both sexes, deep desires that she had only recently discovered after she had seen a gorgeous tall man with dark hair and crystal blue eyes stare at her across a room at a lecture hall at a science conference at Cal-Tech. She had fantasied about that man and touched herself thinking of his hands on her. That was enough for her, just a fantasy. At least she realized she had sexual desire, a burden she must tolerate. Desire is a fickle Vixen.

She had to distract herself from the bubbling desire she felt, especially at the moment while thinking of that handsome man and the latest conversation with her new friend.

She looked over to her bathroom counter and the dental floss gave her an idea. "Idle hands..."

A Big thank you to all the guest reviews! I cannot respond and tell you how much the reviews mean to me, but I wanted to tell you all, and everyone that has reviewed that it makes my day to read your response and that you still enjoy my little scribbles. Thank you so much!