While everyone else worth mentioning is looking for Eizo, Madara thinks. If he were a toddler, where would he go? Come to think of it, when Madara was a toddler, he was already learning to fight and kill. He wandered off so he could play without being interrupted and sent back to training. "Why am I being so self-reflective all of a sudden?" he mutters, shaking off those thoughts.
So, avoiding contact with other people as much a possible, Madara searches the house from top to bottom. Everyone else gives up searching the house and heads outside, but Madara does not think the kid left the house. He's probably hiding somewhere.
Some sort of commotion begins in the living room. Madara is only mildly curious about what it is, so he heads upstairs to search again. There are some nooks and crannies he did not pay enough attention to the first time around. While he is searching the bathroom cupboards for the toddler, Namiko appears.
"Excuse me," she says, urgently. "I need towels."
"Why?" asks Madara, moving aside to let her grab some.
The chubby brat pauses in her frantic rush and says, "Itachi's in labour and the Nine Tails took over Naruto to deliver the baby."
"Oh, I see," Madara says. "Well, if you have everything under control, I'll keep looking for that toddler."
"Burifu says Eizo's chakra vanished," says Namiko helpfully. "My Daddy has a seal on the whole house and garden that monitors everything. I bet no one asked him where Eizo is."
"How incompetent," says Madara, rolling his eyes. "Go take your towels downstairs. I'll question Iruka."
Namiko runs off down stairs to deliver the towels, and Madara heads to Iruka's room. He searched in there before and the man was sound asleep.
Madara pokes Iruka's injured shoulder.
Iruka jerks awake with a yelp. "What?" he demands, glaring at Madara. "You better have a good reason for poking my burns."
"I hear you have Gurunku's surveillance seal on this place," says Madara, getting straight to the point. "The Hokage's toddler wandered off somewhere, and everyone's frantically looking for him. Burifu says his chakra's vanished. Do you know where he might have gone?"
"Back of Naruto's closet," says Iruka. "There's a room-seal there, where Naruto keeps his collection of relics, as he calls them. My surveillance seal can't reach inside, so I imagine sensors can't sense people in there either."
"Thanks," says Madara. "You can go back to sleep now."
"Wake me up if he's not there, and I'll do a back-check on the seal's data," says Iruka, closing his eyes.
Madara heads to the room he assumes is Naruto's room. It is a mess, with orange clothing all over the bed and floor. He heads over to the closet and opens it. He pushes aside the clothes and other random junk, which a toddler could easily have climbed through or over. At the back of the wardrobe is a seal Madara has never seen before. Acting on the knowledge that Eizo is inside the seal, Madara walks into it.
Inside is a small room filled with junk. A few books, a scarf, an old white jacket, a cloak with 'Fourth Hokage' embroidered on it, some photographs of the Fourth Hokage and his wife, an orange box filled with things that look like they could be used for pranks and a few other things that could only have meaning to Naruto litter the floor. And in the centre of the room, playing with a toy toad, is Eizo.
"Hi, Uncle Madara," says Eizo, grinning up at Madara.
"Don't you start," sighs Madara. The Hokage's kids calling him uncle just reminds him that his brothers are dead and he will never be an uncle.
"Why?" asks Eizo.
Oh great, he's at THAT age. "It reminds me of my brothers," says Madara. The kid won't understand. "When my youngest brother was your age, he was killed in an enemy attack."
Eizo looks up at Madara, he looks as if he does understand. "Pretty Princess Sister nearly die. Mummy and weird sister get new eyes. Daddy get purple eyes. Did Uncle Madara get purple eyes because brother die?"
"You're an articulate little bastard, aren't you?" says Madara, surprised that the Hokage got his rinnegan for something like that. "No. I had four brothers, all of them are dead. I helped build this village so kids like you wouldn't meet the same fate."
Eizo smiles. "Uncle Madara's nice."
"You're hardly a toddler," says Madara, patting the kid on the head. "You're a little boy."
Eizo grins. "I sense chakra and use the potty!"
Madara smiles in amusement. "Come along, little boy," he says. "Your parents are going frantic looking for you."
Together, they head downstairs. Eizo takes the toy toad. When they arrive in the living room, Itachi has her baby in her arms, wrapped in a towel. The baby still has all the mess of birth on it, but at least it has stopped crying.
"TINY HUMAN!" yells Eizo, running over to his sister. "Me see, me see!"
Itachi shows Eizo the baby. "This is your nephew," she says.
"Hi, tiny nephew," whispers Eizo, patting the baby's forehead gently.
"I am so glad that's over," mutters Sasuke.
"Where did you find Eizo?" asks Naruto.
"He was in the seal in your closet," says Madara. "Namiko told me Iruka has Gurunku's surveillance seal covering this place, so I asked him where the brat might be. He was right."
"Iruka-nii is the best," says Naruto.
"So you keep saying," says Madara.
Burifu bursts into the room with Tsunade and a couple of other Uzumakis in tow. "I got Okami sama and Karin," says Burifu. "They stopped to get nappies and formula."
"The baby is born already," says Madoka. "It's a good thing you brought nappies."
Tsunade checks the baby over and puts a nappy on him. "He's as healthy as Naruto," comments Tsunade. "And Naruto is unnaturally healthy for someone who eats poisonous mushrooms. Good job, Madoka."
"Oh… actually the Nine Tails delivered him…" Madoka says, refusing to take credit.
"Kurama says you did a good job helping once you picked your balls back up," says Naruto, grinning. "He also says we should tell everyone else we found Eizo before they start turning the village upside down."
"I'll do it," volunteers Namiko. She heads over to the window, leans out and yells in at a volume that hurts Madara's ears, "HEY! WE FOUND EIZO!"
"Wow," says Naruto, holding his ears. "I've only ever heard Iruka-nii yell that loud, dattebayo."
"That's a powerful pair of lungs you got there, little Umino," says the Uzumaki woman. Judging by the bite marks on her arms, she is the Queen, which means she is the one Burifu referred to as Okami sama. That means the girl is Karin.
"Your highness," Madara says, and bows to the Uzumaki Queen. He knows better than to not bow.
"And who might you be?" asks Okami sama.
"I am Madara Uchiha," says Madara.
"Good for you," says the Queen. She does not care one bit. Madara probably could have told her he was the Sage of Six Paths and she wouldn't have cared.
Okami sets about cutting the baby's umbilical cord. "Hmm, where should I put this until we can dispose of it?" she asks.
"Drop it," says Itachi.
"Wait…!" Madoka tries to protest.
Okami drops it.
"Amaterasu!" Itachi activates her Mangekyo Sharingan and burns the placenta and umbilical cord with the black flame. Before it even hits the ground, the placenta no longer exists.
"That's a bit overkill, don't you think?" says Madara, wondering if Itachi knows about the risks of overusing the mangekyo.
Itachi shrugs.
"So, now that that's dealt with," says Okami, turning to Tsunade. "Why did you drag me here?"
Tsunade takes Okami by the shoulders and turns her around to face the door. The people who were looking for Eizo are piling back into the room, looking relieved and tired.
"Sensei…?" Okami says, her eyes going wide.
Ikkaku stops in the doorway and stares at Okami. Fugaku walks right into him, not expecting Ikkaku to stop so suddenly. "...Okami?"
Okami runs forward and throws her arms around Ikkaku. Fugaku dives out of the way just in time to escape being pinned to the floor as Okami knocks her Umino over.
Mikoto screams quite suddenly, drawing everyone's attention off Okami and Ikkaku.
"What's the matter?" asks Fugaku, squeezing past Okami and Ikkaku.
Mikoto points at Itachi. "Itachi…!"
Fugaku sees the baby and hits Shisui over the back of the head. "Itachi gave birth just now," he says. "If you weren't blind I would toss you out the window."
Madara is not sure he wants to know what's going on here, but he is concerned that Fugaku is being a little too mean to Shisui. All Shisui did was get Fugaku's daughter pregnant…OH. Overprotective dad.
Madara sighs. He's had enough madness for now. He takes advantage of the confusion to slip outside and sit on the roof. He has planning to do, after all. How to get the tailed beasts now that they are surrounded by guards? Where can he find allies? Is reviving Kaguya worth it?