Hey guys, I'm back with an update! Thank you very much for your reviews. This was definitely one of the toughest chapters to write, because it deals with a lot of issues and emotions. It felt like it took forever, but it's finally done (yay!) and quite a long one. Special thank you to Almondblossomme for her help with translations. Hope you enjoy. Happy reading!
Chapter 22: The Crossroads
"…I don't want to go back."
Neither Oliver nor Felicity spoke for the longest time. The charged words hung in the air like an invisible force field between them. Felicity didn't know how they'd gotten to this point. Just last night they'd been so happy and content on their date. She'd never felt closer to Oliver. Now, less than twenty-four hours later, they were totally at odds, their relationship being torn apart at the seams.
Her husband's hands clenched at his sides. His broad, strong body looked like it'd been carved out of stone while the lines of his face creased in a pained expression. When Oliver finally spoke, he kept his gaze trained on the fireplace. "When you first came to Nanda Parbat, I made sure you wanted for nothing. If it was within my power to give you something, I didn't hesitate to give it. I knew this arrangement wasn't what you wanted, but I thought if I could just show you what the League had to offer, what I had to offer, it might eventually be enough."
"And I appreciate all of that, because it was what I needed at the time. I needed to learn to trust you, which I did."
"But you don't anymore," he pointed out, finally meeting her eyes.
"I trust that you love me. I trust that you'll always protect me. I trust that you would never intentionally hurt me. But I don't know that I trust you to completely let me in. Oliver, you were so upset that I didn't tell you about Dig and yet you were keeping an even bigger secret from me." Oliver opened his mouth to respond, but Felicity continued, "And that's not all you're keeping from me. You're so secretive about your role in the League and all of your missions. Even with this mission you tried to keep me in the dark."
"It's for your protection."
"I don't want to be your responsibility, Oliver, I want to be your partner. My father did the same thing to my mother, only letting her be a part of his world when he absolutely had to and look how that worked out for her. It eventually killed her."
"Felicity, it's not like that. It's just as you said, I will always protect you. Leaving you in the dark about certain League affairs is how I do that. If you're known as my wife and nothing more, it will make you less of a target."
"No, it won't. This marriage may have started out as an arrangement, but everyone knows now how much we care about each other. If anything, our love will embolden our enemies because they'll know they can get to you through me or vise versa."
"I made a big show of punishing your attackers for that very reason. Unless they have a death wish, no one would dare make a move against you again," he asserted, his blue eyes blazing so fiercely they resembled the burning center of a flame.
"It's not just about possible threats, Oliver. While well-intentioned, being known only as your wife makes me feel even less like myself. I wasn't one of those little girls who always dreamed of her wedding day and getting married. I dreamed of being an astronaut, a scientist, or an inventor. I wanted to be the complete opposite of my father and help people by creating something for the greater good. I wanted my life to have meaning and purpose."
"It will."
"How?" she challenged. "How will I be taken seriously or be able to make a difference if all I'm seen as is your trophy wife? In some ways, I have even less freedom than my mother. I'm watched constantly and can't even walk down the street for a cup of coffee without my guards trailing me. When I'm back in Nanda Parbat, it's worse because everyone is constantly watching me, and I'm not allowed outside of the compound at all." A wave of tears stung her eyes. "My entire life I've been trapped in a cage of a man's making, being told what I can't do."
"Felicity, Ra's and the advisors already know what you're capable of. Why do you think Ra's propositioned you to work alongside Al Hassoub? Even if you're involved in League affairs, that doesn't mean you'll be serving the greater good. You'll be serving Ra's and doing for him what you refused to do for your father. You won't have a choice."
"So I really am a hostage, then."
"No, that's not what I'm saying."
"But that's what the situation is. I may be the third most powerful person in the League, but my role is limited to what you and Ra's decide you want from me. Don't you see how confining and degrading that is?" Felicity retorted.
"And you think I don't face the same challenges?" Oliver suddenly exploded. "You think I agree with and want to carry out every single order Ra's gives me? Do you think it was easy for me to abduct my childhood best friend, who's done absolutely nothing wrong, and be the one to torture him because I knew it would still be better than leaving him with the other butchers? You think it doesn't tear me up inside now that I have to train him to be a killer just like me? Not every assassination I've carried out has been for a noble cause, and the faces of my victims will forever haunt me. We all have to make sacrifices when answering to Ra's, Felicity, and that's the goddamn ugly truth."
Her husband's angry outburst was like a punch in the gut. Felicity had seen glimpses of vulnerability in Oliver after she was attacked and when talking about his family or Shado, but this was different. The calm and controlled exterior he often exhibited around her had cracked. The raw and repressed emotions he so expertly hid were fully exposed. She was aware that Oliver tried to shield her from the League's darker elements, but finally—and most likely unintentionally—he was showing her the very real toll his years of servitude to Ra's had taken on him. How much the impossible weight of living up to the expectations of being Warith al Ghul chipped away at him.
Lowering her voice, so as not to make him even more defensive, she tentatively asked the question that he'd so expertly avoided. The question that had the power to change everything. "Oliver, do you want to be Ra's al Ghul? Do you want to be in the League?"
"Felicity—" he growled in frustration.
Like throwing water on a flame, her hand on his face silenced him. She met his gaze and held it, letting him see the deep love and genuine concern she felt inside. It wasn't a trick question or a way to trap him to win the argument, so she clarified, "Oliver, honey, I need to know what you want. If you tell me without a doubt that you want to be Ra's al Ghul, then I'll understand and we'll go from there. But if you don't, then I have a right to know that, too."
Oliver clutched her hand and stared deep into her beseeching eyes. With a tight voice, he replied, "Shamsi, I can't ever be Oliver Queen for you."
"This isn't about that. Oliver Queen is only one piece of the puzzle. When you told me about losing your family before, I guess I had this picture of you in my head like Harry Potter—"
The corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly. "Seriously, Harry Potter?"
Felicity blushed. "Yes, Harry Potter. Like an orphan but, you know, with the Demon's Head instead of the Dursleys and with a sword instead of a wand. And no dramatic prophecy. There is no prophecy, right? Because the League believes in some hokey stuff, and I wouldn't be surprised—"
Oliver interjected mid-babble, "No prophecy."
She cleared her throat and attempted to get her racing mind back on track. "Okay, good to know. What I mean is I thought you had lost everything, and there was absolutely nothing for you to go back to out in the real world. Being trained as Warith al Ghul and responsible for so many people is huge, and I figured it might be difficult to walk away from that and start over completely. You at least had purpose all these years. But when I found out you're Oliver Queen, it hit me that you've got your own personal empire—and when I say 'empire,' I don't mean it in a power-hungry, greedy, gold digging sort of way—just that this is something that is completely yours. I thought maybe you could find another clear purpose outside of the League. A purpose where you can make a difference in the light of day. Does that make sense?"
He nodded, though somewhat reluctantly.
"I just want you be honest with me, too, about what you want. Because even though you've stepped into your role as Warith al Ghul, it seems like you're conflicted and afraid to want anything beyond what Ra's has forced upon you."
"I appreciate your concern, shamsi, and I love you all the more for it." He squeezed her hand and used his free one to stroke her cheek. "No one has asked me what I wanted since, well, ever. But there is still one important fact you're overlooking. There are only two ways to leave the League: either Ra's releases you or death." His brilliant blue eyes bore into hers. "We can sit here all night and dream of a different life here in the city, but we both know that Ra's will never let that happen. He chose me above all others—above his own blood—and groomed me as his heir. He'll never accept my wanting to leave."
"So you do want to leave?" she persisted.
Oliver leaned his forehead against hers. "Shamsi, I can't go there, because there is no choice to make." He murmured, "All I know for sure is that I love you, and I want to make you happy. I don't want to lose you."
Feeling torn between her desires and the reality of their situation, Felicity took a moment to gather her thoughts. Releasing her bottom lip from between her teeth, she spoke in a gentle voice, "When you think about all of this, it's kind of extraordinary."
Clearly not expecting that response, Oliver reared back slightly, his eyes going wide. "What?"
"I already thought I was incredibly lucky to have you in my life, and then I learn that your family owns the company that I wanted so badly to work for. If your family's yacht had never sunk and I was able to get away from my father to start a new life here in Starling, I like to think that we both would've ended up at Queen Consolidated and still have met."
"That is pretty extraordinary and totally possible. Considering I suck with technology, I probably would've walked into your office needing help with some IT issue that you could figure out in mere minutes. I would've been just as mesmerized by you then as I am now." His caressed her face and offered a mischievous, dimpled grin. "I would've made up phony IT issues as an excuse just to keep seeing you."
"What, like dumping a latte on your laptop?" she teased.
"Definitely."
Felicity laughed and wound her arms around his neck. "I would've tried to be professional, but you'd be so damn handsome and charming that I'd totally get flustered and babble like a dork anyway."
"Your babbling is adorable," he murmured.
"Wow, you really must love me," she joked before turning serious once more. "I love you, Oliver, and I don't want you to think you're not enough. The truth is it's not about what you can give me materially as Oliver Queen or Al Sah-him. I don't need any of the lavish things you can provide for me in either life. I need this." She placed her hand over his heart. "I need you. Just you. But I fear that answering to Ra's and then becoming him may mean that you'll never truly be mine. You'll always have traditions, missions, protocols, and advisors to answer to. As your wife, so will I. My heart chose you, but it never chose the League."
"Shamsi—"
"I'm afraid that with time, as Aroos El Ghoul, the chains will only tighten. I'll be so constrained and isolated that it'll be suffocating." Her voice cracked on the word as the first of her tears fell. "And I can't…I can't live like that long-term. I can't bring children into that kind of life, and I don't think you want to either based on what you told me last night and just now. The fact that you think there isn't even a choice to make means you're just as trapped as I am. How can you promise me freedom when you can't even conceive of it yourself?"
The anguished expression Oliver wore after hearing her concerns made Felicity's heart ache. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but she was hurting, too. They were at a complete crossroads, with different paths laid out before them, and not one without potentially dire or heartbreaking consequences. If there was something he could say to assuage her fears, then he would've said it. But there wasn't, and he couldn't.
Forsaking words, Oliver wrapped her up in his arms and drew her into his embrace. Felicity went willingly, clutching him tightly in return. More tears formed when he pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. Their saltiness mingled with the taste of him, and she nearly sobbed at the feel of him licking them off her lips before deepening the kiss. She melted into him, accepting the only comfort that he could give her at the moment.
When the kiss finally ended, she saw the moisture glistening in his own eyes. He pressed his lips to her forehead before enveloping her entirely. Felicity hugged him back just as fiercely and buried her head in his neck. They stayed like that for a very long time.
The smell of the fat, juicy hamburger smothered in cheese with a side of hot French fries sitting in front of her had Felicity's mouth watering. She'd spent most of the morning at A.R.G.U.S. continuing the investigation after last night's lead had been a bust. Felicity cursed Merlyn's inhuman knack for disappearing, though a part of her was oddly relieved to have something to focus on besides her current relationship drama. Despite getting their issues out in the open last night, she and Oliver were still far from finding a solution to their dilemma. Burying herself in work was a much-needed reprieve.
Felicity had a restless night after Oliver left with Nyssa and the team to continue their manhunt. She hated lying alone in their bed, with nothing but the darkness and her troubled thoughts to keep her company. She'd awoken earlier than usual this morning and called Dig to come pick her up on his way into work. Her guards weren't exactly thrilled when she said they could have the day off. The order was useless, since they followed Dig's SUV all the way to headquarters anyway.
Having access to A.R.G.U.S.'s cutting-edge technology allowed Felicity to set up an algorithm to analyze the next set of evidence that may lead to Merlyn. While that ran, she used her free time to dig further into her father's and Armitage's devious affairs. Much to her relief, Felicity found some pretty damning information. The inconspicuous trail of blood money she'd traced in their long list of dirty dealings was like a single block in a game of Jenga. Remove a key foundational piece and the whole structure of H.I.V.E.'s evil empire could come tumbling down.
Felicity had told Sara that she couldn't make a move until they had a clear plan to present to Al Sah-him. Unfortunately, now that they might have a real shot at taking down H.I.V.E. and getting justice for Sara's family, the timing couldn't be more wrong. Merlyn was the number one threat, and the suggestion of going after anyone else would probably fall on deaf ears. Being at odds with her husband, Felicity figured whatever influence she did have to sway him to the cause was seriously waning.
With her stomach in knots from such emotional turmoil, Felicity didn't think she'd even be able to eat when Dig suggested they finally get that Big Belly Burger together. Thankfully, all it took was one whiff of the delicious greasy and salty aromas to activate her appetite. She'd been much hungrier than she thought and dug in without hesitation.
"Good to see that some things haven't changed. You can still polish off a Big Belly Buster in record time," Dig teased.
Felicity gulped down a mouthful of her cold and creamy chocolate shake before replying, "You know I always get the munchies after an intense hack."
He smirked and leaned back into the booth with his arms folded. "True. For a few minutes there, I was worried you'd bite your own finger thinking it was a French fry."
"Okay, that only happened once when I was eleven and, for the record, it really hurt."
"I don't doubt that since I was the one who had to bandage your finger from the bloody gash you gave yourself."
In true childish fashion, Felicity stuck her tongue out at him.
Dig chuckled in response. "The food has put you in better spirits. I'm glad. When I picked you up this morning, you seemed quieter than usual."
She wiped her greasy fingers on a napkin. "Yes, well, yesterday was a long day followed by an even longer night."
"Everything okay between you and Al Sah-him?" The question seemed innocent enough, but Felicity knew better. The concentrated, probing squint of Dig's dark brown eyes told her he already knew the answer. They hadn't gotten much of a chance to really talk, and she was surprised he'd lasted this long without confronting her about the situation they now found themselves in.
She was about to say she was fine but, "It's complicated" came out instead. Felicity could never lie to Dig, and she didn't want to. Dig was like her Yoda. He could be funny and silly when he wanted, but when the going got tough, his words of wisdom had the power to change her entire outlook. There were countless times over the years he'd given her advice, which resulted in her turning it over and over in her already overactive mind hours later.
Instead of prodding her further, though, Dig sat in silence with his probing eyes trained on her. The blonde shifted in her seat under the scrutiny before blurting out, "We got into a fight last night—or disagreement, if you will."
More silence.
"I learned something about Oli—Al Sah-him," she corrected, "that I didn't know before. Something that's a game changer, and I confronted him about it. Then it turned into this big argument about our future and the League. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, because we did need to talk about it. These issues didn't come up in Nanda Parbat because, well, it's Nanda Parbat. The compound is hidden in the desert in the middle of nowhere, and Ra's word and League traditions are pretty much law. There's not much wiggle room. Being here in Starling, out in the real world, everything is different, and I don't know what to do or where the hell Al Sah-him and I stand."
Dig's brow furrowed in concern.
Sighing, Felicity revealed in a low, somber voice, "I told him I didn't want to go back to Nanda Parbat." She twirled a fry between her fingers. "The look on his face, Dig, when I said it…it was like I'd betrayed him."
After another moment of heavy silence, he finally spoke, "Is that how you really feel?" She nodded. "Then you did the right thing. You won't be doing him or yourself any favors by lying. Hiding the truth would be a betrayal."
Felicity nibbled on her bottom lip, knowing that Dig was right.
"If anything, it sounds like he betrayed you by keeping secrets of his own," he continued. "Can't say I'm surprised since this is the League you're dealing with. It's known for operating in the shadows to influence people and manipulate situations."
"Al Sah-him isn't manipulating me," she disagreed.
"Are you sure about that? I get that he's been your protector all this time in my absence, but the truth is you wouldn't be in danger if not for the situation your father and the League has put you in. If Al Sah-him truly cared about you, he'd abide by your wishes and release you from this arrangement. You don't want to go back to Nanda Parbat because your instincts—which have always served you well—are telling you it's not safe. There was already one attempt made against your life. How can he guarantee it won't happen again in such an isolated and hostile environment?"
"Al Sah-him will always protect me," she refuted.
"He can try, but all it takes is one mistake. Believe me," he grumbled, no doubt thinking about how her father tracked her down despite Dig's best efforts to hide her in Starling. "Compared to Ra's and the rest of the League, Al Sah-him may seem like your knight in shining armor but he's not. If anything, Al Sah-him is a dark knight. Whatever compassion and protection he's offered you, it's not without expectations. I know his kind. He's an assassin, pragmatic and predatory at his core. He's in line to be the next Ra's al Ghul, and your connection to H.I.V.E. will ensure his power in the League is secured."
"I'm not naive, Dig. I'm fully aware that there are different sides of Al Sah-him—some I'm still learning—but whoever he is, he loves me. And I love him. That's the one thing I can trust," she persisted.
Dig shook his head and rubbed his jaw. "Felicity," he said gently, "I can't possibly imagine the hardship and trauma you've endured these past months. Quite frankly, it makes me ill to think about how I failed to protect you when you needed me most."
"Dig, I told you it's not your fau—"
He pressed on, "You're one of the smartest and strongest people I know, and I completely understand that you had to do whatever was necessary to physically and mentally survive since your abduction. Of course you'd try to see the good in Al Sah-him since he saved you. It's not like there was anyone else you could trust—"
"That's not entirely true. Nyssa and Sara have always had my back, and there's this adorable little girl, Amina, and her mom that I've gotten friendly with—"
"My point," Dig interjected, "is that you had to adapt, and no one would fault you for that. You don't have to defend the choices you've already made. You just have to realize that you still have one. The League doesn't run Starling. No matter what any of them say, you are free here, and you have every right to question what's real."
"What's real," Felicity repeated, attempting to process the underlying meaning of his words. Dig never once looked away. If anything, his stare intensified, as if he could somehow will her to see the truth he was trying to impart on her. "You don't think…you don't think my feelings are real, do you?"
"That's not what I'm saying. I think they're real"—he leaned forward, his expression grave—"but it's not uncommon for captives to eventually bond with their captors when they think they've somehow been saved from a worse fate."
"So, what, you think I have Stockholm Syndrome or something? That I only love Al Sah-him because he's the lesser of two evils?"
His pitying look turned Felicity's stomach. It wasn't as if the thought hadn't crossed her mind either. When Al Sah-him had lavished her with beautiful dresses and acts of kindness, she was completely aware that he was trying to gain her favor. He'd admitted as much just last night. He'd done and given her everything he could to build trust between them and endear her to the League.
In a way, it had worked. His gestures, both big and small, helped her to see his kindness and generosity. Dig was also right that Al Sah-him saving her is what ultimately deepened their connection. To an outsider like him, the bond between her and Al Sah-him may seem like nothing more than manipulation and co-dependence. As he said, and she wouldn't deny it, she did have to make certain choices under duress to ensure her safety. Her marriage on the surface appeared to be nothing more than a truce between enemies, but it was so much more than duty and survival. What couldn't be seen or measured was the union of their two lonely and broken souls finding each other and healing to become a whole.
Only Felicity could truly see into Al Sah-him's heart, and he into hers. In addition to the love and respect that had formed between them, there was an emotional vulnerability that linked them in a deeply intimate way. Al Sah-him knew what it was like to lose his entire family at a young age. He knew what it was like to be forced into a dark and dangerous situation no child should ever have to endure. He'd taken orders for years and fought his way to the top, all the while trying to hold onto even the smallest piece of who he really was. It was the same battle Felicity had waged all her life against her father, who'd wanted to exploit her abilities for his own selfish gain.
The night Al Sah-him brought her up onto the roof of the compound, revealed the truth about his family, and asked her to call him by his true name, their bond was cemented. Their discussion-turned-argument last night further confirmed that connection. She just had to find a way to explain it to Dig so he fully understood the heart of the battle she now faced.
"I don't have Stockholm Syndrome, Dig. If I did, I wouldn't feel so torn and be questioning my new role. I'd do what my husband has asked of me without challenge. Al Sah-him is the one I'm worried about. He's the one who's being held captive and doesn't see that he has a choice, too."
"Meaning?" Dig prompted, looking curious yet skeptical.
"You're right. Al Sah-him is my dark knight. He's spent over a decade in the League being molded by Ra's and his assassins to be a great warrior, and that's the man who fiercely defends me and uses his power to protect me at every turn—sometimes against my own wishes. But Warith al Ghul is not who he is in his heart. He's let me see a completely different side of him, a side he's long kept hidden, and that man is inherently good. He's kind, generous, and compassionate, and every bit as trapped as I am. He doesn't see it yet, but I've seen glimpses of the man beneath the hood in these past months. Coming here, I feel like I've finally discovered who he truly is."
"You're talking about Oliver. That's what you called him the other night. I noticed you never said it again after the guards arrived."
"I'm the only one who calls him that," she confirmed. "The only one who really knows that—"
"That he's Oliver Queen," he finished for her.
Her eyes widened, and she gasped. Felicity hadn't been planning on revealing Al Sah-him's true identity; that wasn't her secret to tell. Yet, he'd figured out the truth anyway—typical Dig. She replied, practically tripping over her words, "H-how'd you know that? Have you known this whole time?"
"Not at first, and I wasn't sure I was even right until now."
"Frack," Felicity cursed her slip-up.
Dig explained, "I thought you calling him Oliver was odd, but that it could've been a cover. I started putting the pieces together last night when I saw how engrossed you were researching the Queen family. You seemed rattled after seeing the statue at QC and speaking with Walter Steele. Al Sah-him mentioned that the explosion at QC was Merlyn's way of sending him a message, too, and then he refused to investigate the site of the bomb himself—even though you'd be going and it's obvious he hates being separated from you. Plus, he's about the age Oliver Queen would be now if he'd survived. Him ending up in the League via Merlyn, who was a close family friend, makes sense."
"Yeah," she breathed, still reeling.
"Oliver is the one who abducted Tommy Merlyn, isn't he? They were close friends growing up. The League has him, and it's why Malcolm is off the rails now, isn't it?"
There was no point in denying it. "Yes, the League has Tommy," she confirmed. "He's actually my friend now, too. He was the imprisoned man I'd told you about. The one who helped me escape from Al Torr."
"Is he still in prison?"
"No. He was inducted into the League after saving me. Al Sah-him has been tasked with training him. He's here now hunting his father, too—per Ra's orders." She added, "But he doesn't know that Al Sah-him is Oliver."
"Tommy's the bait, then," Dig assumed.
"Yes."
"How's he holding up?"
She sighed and confessed, "Not so good. He's no more cut out for League life than I am. He's having a difficult time adapting, and Oliver is pretty torn up about it. He doesn't want Tommy involved in any of this."
Her friend crossed his bulging arms. "Yet he continues to dutifully follow orders."
"There are consequences if he doesn't, just like when you worked for my father," she reminded him. "And I imagine your superiors now expect the same."
Dig countered, "Then maybe he doesn't have a choice like you thought. Maybe you're wasting your time thinking you can save him. Your intent is to get him to embrace being Oliver Queen instead of Al Sah-him, right?"
He knew her too well. "That would be ideal, but mostly I just want him to be honest with me," she said, feeling her frustration return. "I want him to let me in, but he's just not there yet. When I asked him if he wants to be Ra's al Ghul someday, he wouldn't confirm or deny it. He just kept saying he has no choice."
"An indirect way of admitting he won't change." He gave her a pointed look.
"Or that he's afraid to," Felicity retorted just as boldly. "He told me that crazy reprogramming the League does never wiped away his past, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been indoctrinated in some form. He's never even let himself think about having a different life. Ra's would never just let him—us go, I know, but he won't be around forever. I don't want Oliver to fight to die. I want him to fight to live whether he wants to be Ra's or not. I want a husband who will be my partner and treat me as an equal, not try to shelter or control me because 'that's what's best for me.' I want freedom for us both."
"Did you tell him that?"
"I tried to," she lamented, vigorously dunking a fry in ketchup and chomping on it. "Sort of. But he still only sees one path ahead of him, and you don't know how tough it is getting through that thick, stubborn skull of his. One minute we're fighting and the next we're kissing, which, yes, is probably TMI for you, but it's so damn frustrating because I really, really don't want to go back to Nanda Parbat, but I'm also so crazy in love with Oliver that I can't just walk away. He's opened my heart in so many ways, and how can I abandon him when he needs me so desperately now? He already said he doesn't want to lose me, and I feel the same way." She took a gulp of air. "God, am I just like the most selfish person on the planet or what?"
"You're not being selfish, Felicity. You're one of the best people I know on this planet, because you have such a big heart. Sometimes too big a heart, in my opinion." He reached out to grasp her hand and gave it a squeeze. "The young yet very mature and capable woman I know would never let herself become so swept up in a man that she completely sacrifices who she is. If Oliver truly loves you, he has to accept that."
"But isn't marriage about compromise?"
"It is about compromise. But so far you seem to be the only one making sacrifices. You'll never be happy if you're not honest about what you want and need from him, which you have every right to express. Never, ever, apologize for your feelings, Felicity. You may love Oliver now and consider him your husband, but how your marriage began was completely out of your control. Being here in Starling, away from the full constraints of the League, gives you the perspective you need to take some of that control back. Obviously I want you to stay here in the city, but it's not my choice either. Whether you decide to stay or not, it needs to be what you want."
"Hypothetically, if I chose to never go back, the League wouldn't accept it. Al Sah-him would be shamed. It'd break the truce, and I'd be hunted by Ra's and probably my father for betraying my husband and my duty."
"Doesn't matter. I'm your bodyguard, always. I'll take both those bastards down once and for all if I have to. No matter what, I won't fail you again. I promise you," he swore, his dark eyes blazing.
Felicity blinked back tears, truly touched by Dig's genuine love and loyalty. He was a true testament to the fact that family wasn't just about blood; it's who and what you make of it. She placed her free hand over the much larger one that held hers. "Thank you," she whispered.
Dig didn't say anything else. He didn't have to. The pair simply sat in silence, the familial bond they'd formed many years ago renewed and stronger than ever.
She shouldn't do it, Felicity told herself. It was wrong and not why she'd been tasked with this assignment. She was supposed to run comms while Al Sah-him and Dig led their teams to a new location—an abandoned warehouse by the bay—where Merlyn was thought to be hiding out; she was not supposed to be eavesdropping on their conversation.
Felicity had gotten the updated intel just a few hours ago, and she'd insisted that she be involved in the op to walk them through it. Already she'd picked up a signal being transmitted from inside, and there was no telling what awaited them. It could be, and most likely was, a trap. No way was she letting them go in there without her.
While Al Sah-him and Dig were out in the field, Felicity sat stationed on an A.R.G.U.S. military vessel fully equipped with all the computer power she'd need to keep an eye on her boys. She'd originally wanted to be in the field with them. Unfortunately, the one time her husband and former bodyguard actually agreed on something, it was to keep her away from the action "for her own safety."
The sleek stealth vessel, roughly the size of a two-story house, was anchored away from the warehouse—just in case Merlyn set up any more explosions—and also gave the second team of agents a panoramic view of the area. Although Felicity was perfectly safe in A.R.G.U.S. custody, her League bodyguards were also on board. She'd told them to stay out of the command center, though, so that she could work without them hovering. The other intel specialists and cryptographic technicians were clearly ill at ease with their looming presence.
As Felicity pulled up the specs of the building and worked to home in on the signal, she couldn't help switching on the comm system. She tuned into Al Sah-him and Dig's channel, muting herself in the process. She told herself it was just to make sure they were getting along. The last time they'd been in such close contact alone, they'd been fighting each other and arguing nonstop. Felicity had spoken to them both separately these past couple of days, but she doubted the tension between them had lessened. She doubted either could resist facing off without her there to rein them in. Therefore, she reasoned, it was her moral obligation to know what they were doing and saying to each other.
Felicity pressed her earpiece more firmly in place as Dig's low, deep voice transmitted into her ear, "It's quiet out here. Too quiet."
"Probably how Merlyn wants it," Al Sah-him spoke. "It's a good place to hide and keep a low profile. Hardly any activity around, and ideal for detecting possible intruders. Plus multiple exit points."
She checked the map in front of her with each agent's and assassin's location. Dig and Al Sah-him were stationed on the roof of a neighboring warehouse.
"We've got them all covered."
"I doubt that," her husband muttered. "Merlyn always has something up his sleeve. Expect the unexpected with him."
"If you think we're so unprepared, then why are we even bothering to conduct this operation?" Dig challenged.
"Because I trust Felicity's intel, and this may be our only shot. Besides, I know my team is up to the task. We're trained to think on our feet."
"And we're trained to put down terrorist organizations like yours. So if you're thinking about double crossing us when we apprehend that son of a bitch, don't."
"Terrorist organizations commit crimes to provoke public fear. The League seeks to right the wrongs of the world from the shadows. You might say we clean up the messes you make. Like that hostage incident in Kaznia a few years ago. It was one of your own who staged that event, and we had to put him down while you awaited orders."
"And I suppose you did that just out of the goodness of your heart," Dig mocked. "Traitors and anarchists go rogue. Good soldiers follow orders and carry out missions the right way."
"What's right about letting a roomful of people die while politicians argue?"
"Don't act like you're so free. You have orders to carry out, too. If Ra's wanted those hostages saved, it was to serve whatever selfish agenda he was pushing," he argued. "It's no different than your arranged marriage, except that order involved taking a hostage—Felicity."
She startled at the sound of her name and Dig's gibe. She was thankful she'd muted herself, for they surely would've heard the little groan she let out.
Al Sah-him refuted, "Felicity isn't my hostage, she's my wife."
"Could've fooled me. Because if that were true, you'd give her a choice to remain here in Starling rather than forcing her to return to Nanda Parbat with you."
Here we go, Felicity thought, her instincts proven right. Dig and Al Sah-him really were going to hash it out right then and there.
"She told you that?" he questioned, his voice strained. Felicity could just imagine his jaw tightening and eyes narrowing. "Are those her words or your own? Because your reason for wanting her to stay is no different than my reason for wanting her to come back with me."
"Starling is her home."
"And she's my home." Her heart skipped a beat at his declaration. "I realize you've spent the last couple of days filling her head with nonsense to turn her against me and drive a wedge between us, but it won't work. I love her, and I will fight for her."
"You know what your problem is?"
"You," Al Sah-him growled in retort.
"League of Assassins," Dig scoffed, "you're feared for your bravery and power, but all I see are a bunch of weak men running from their lives, trying to escape. You're fighting the wrong battle. Waging war against the wrong person. You're in so deep with the League that you won't even consider an alternative path, even if it means securing your own happiness and hers. That's not powerful, that's cowardly."
"I'm Warith al Ghul, Heir to the Demon," he asserted. "You have no idea—"
"You're also Oliver Queen," Dig cut him off. She heard Al Sah-him's sharp intake of breath. "Before you get all bent out of shape, you should know Felicity didn't reveal your secret. I figured it out myself."
"Oliver Queen died a long time ago." His tone was flat and dismissive.
"If that's true, then why does she call you Oliver in private?"
Silence.
Dig pressed on. "Let's say for a second I believe that your love for her is real."
"It is real," Al Sah-him interjected.
"What do you really see happening between the two of you in the future? What is Felicity's place in all of this?"
"It's none of your business—"
"Except it is," Dig retorted. "No matter where she is in her life, I'll always be her bodyguard. I'll admit I failed her once, and that's one time too many. I'm not taking any chances this time around."
"While your protectiveness of her is admirable, it's unnecessary. I'm her husband, and there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe."
"I'm not just talking about her physical safety. Even if you pose no bodily danger to her, there is an emotional toll. For years she's fought against her father's control, and now she's in another situation where her freedom has been stripped from her. Felicity may want to honor her vows to you, but that doesn't erase the fact that she was initially threatened into saying them. Her feelings for you are battling with her desire for independence. She's always wanted to forge her own path."
"I don't want to control her. I love and respect Felicity. If anything, I want to give her more freedom. She'll have that when I'm Ra's al Ghul. She'll be one of the most powerful women in the world, and we can lead the League as we see fit—together. She doesn't have to be limited by tradition or isolated from the world. She can make a real difference in her new role," he declared. "She will be my priority."
Felicity bit down hard on her lip as Al Sah-him refuted the concerns she'd explained to him last night. He'd also touched upon on all of the things she'd told Dig earlier about them being partners and him giving her more control and freedom. Her husband's vision for their future seemed bright and almost perfect, if not for the fact that he sounded like he was trying to convince himself of its possibility as much as Dig.
"Did you discuss this with Felicity?"
Dig already knew the answer; Felicity realized he just wanted Al Sah-him to admit it.
"I will once this Merlyn business is finished. We haven't had much time to sort out the details."
Another scoff. "If you're gonna stay married, you two seriously need to work on your communication skills."
"We keep getting interrupted," he said pointedly.
"A preview of what's to come, I'm sure. Your vision sounds good in theory," Dig replied, "if only life always worked out the way we planned. Unfortunately, it's an illusion, which I think you already know. You can't control the world or what it expects from you. There will be times when what's good for the League isn't good for your wife and vice versa."
"We'll figure it out," Al Sah-him insisted. "Both you and your wife work for A.R.G.U.S. I'm sure you receive orders that aren't always ideal. You two seem to make it work."
"We do make it work, but it didn't happen overnight. There was a time when we almost threw in the towel altogether. We almost got divorced."
Hearing Dig's confession, Felicity's eyes widened. Dig and Lyla had seemed so solid and in sync as a couple in the time she'd known them. Dig had never mentioned they'd experienced a rough patch. Then again, there was a lot she hadn't known about Dig until he finally told her his true identity. One of the things Felicity had been looking forward to when she'd first escaped to Starling was spending more time with Dig and learning about his life outside of H.I.V.E. and his role as her bodyguard.
"What happened?" her husband asked, voicing her own curiosity.
"Lyla and I got married while we were stationed in Afghanistan. Even though we were in the middle of a war zone, we were happy and in love. When we returned stateside, though, everything was different. We'd both brought our own demons back with us, and we couldn't seem to figure out a way to deal with them without a war to fight. We started taking our anger at the enemy out on each other, and I eventually shut myself down emotionally. Cutting myself off from Lyla hurt her even more, and it all became too much. We needed some time apart to figure things out. So when A.R.G.U.S. recruited us, I chose an undercover assignment that would put me back in the field. I needed to get my mind off of everything. My mission was to infiltrate H.I.V.E., serving as a bodyguard to Damien Darhk's young daughter. Darhk is one of the most ruthless and dangerous men in the world, and I was eager to bring that son of a bitch down. I channeled all of my anger, frustration, and guilt into him. You could say I saw defeating Darhk as a way of atoning for my sins.
"I'd read the small file on Felicity. She seemed like any other ten-year-old girl, aside from the fact that she was a genius. Her test scores were way above average for her age. She didn't have much contact with Darhk. She'd mostly been in the care of her mother until she'd been killed."
Felicity's heart clenched at the mention of her mom. The familiar ache had her inhaling a shaky breath. Her fingers faltered for a second on the keyboard, but she quickly recovered. She still had work to do as they spoke.
"I'll admit I hadn't given her much thought. I didn't want to get attached. My goal was to get Darhk, and she was the means to do that. When I was in the army, sometimes kids were caught in the crossfire that I couldn't save. Their faces haunted me in my dreams, and I had no intention of adding Felicity among their rank," he explained. His voice was gruff and heavy, the trauma of the past still weighing on him. "When I first met her, she was this tiny little slip of a girl. Blond curly hair, knobby knees, and big glasses. She didn't say a word, and I was surprised because I'd been told she was chatty. I was hoping maybe she'd unknowingly let something slip about her father."
A small smile broke out on Felicity's face. She remembered that day just as clearly, though she had a completely different perspective. She recalled staring up at Dig as her father introduced him and couldn't help thinking that if giants existed, he'd be the closest version of one. He had been huge—his biceps bigger than her head—and intimidating. He'd worn a stern expression but had kind eyes, unlike the other guards she'd had in the past. After her mother had died, she'd been scared that she would be next. One look at a tall, hulking John Diggle helped to calm her fears because Felicity didn't know how anyone would even try to mess with him.
Dig's steady voice broke her out of the memory, and she listened intently. "A couple of weeks passed by without her saying much—mostly just a quiet thank you here and there for driving her around or holding open a door for her—but I could tell there was much more beneath the surface. Despite her silence, I could see her taking in her surroundings. Felicity had intelligent eyes, like she was always working out something in that mind of hers. Then, one day, I picked her up from school and she wasn't waiting in her usual spot. Felicity was never late. I asked a few students if they'd seen her, and they couldn't tell me anything. Some of them didn't even know who she was. The school had top-notch security, and personal bodyguards weren't allowed on campus during school hours. I started to worry that one of Darhk's enemies had taken advantage of that. That she'd been taken without anyone even noticing.
"I decided to check her classroom first before I called in the rest of the guys. She was curled up in such a tight corner in the shadows that I almost missed her. Her little sniffle gave her away at the last second, and I rushed over to her. She wasn't physically hurt, but she was crying. There were pieces of the science project she'd carried into school that morning all over the floor. It was a mini computer.
"I asked her what happened, but she wouldn't speak. Giving her a moment, I gathered all the pieces together and put them in her pencil box. Then I coaxed her out of the corner and announced we were going to dinner. I took her to the local Big Belly Burger. It was obvious she'd never been to one, the way she was eying the milkshakes." He chuckled under his breath. "I got us a booth and ordered her a Big Belly Buster with a large shake. The kid clearly hadn't had a decent meal in a while. I told her about how my little brother and I used to go to Big Belly Burger after a hard day at school. There was nothing a good burger and fries couldn't cure. She still said nothing, but she was listening as always. When our food finally arrived, she stared at it for a few seconds. The burger was bigger than her." Another chuckle. "I showed her how to grab it and demonstrated taking a monster bite of mine. I let the ketchup and mustard smear on my face and grinned at her which, sure enough, got a little smile out of her. She did the same and finally took a bite. The next thing I knew, she was practically inhaling her food. She was small, but the girl could pack it in."
The quiet laugh this time came from her husband. "She still does."
"That burger opened the floodgates. Once Felicity started talking, I couldn't stop her—and I didn't try to. I let her speak for a long time and just listened. I wasn't even thinking about Darhk or what secrets she might spill. I was genuinely interested in her thoughts. She babbled about a bunch of random subjects, mostly science related, and I was completely blown away. Felicity really was a genius, but I could tell she also had a big heart. She talked about all these new inventions she'd read about and how they could help people and change the world. I knew right then that she was something really special. We got on the subject of computers, and it turned out she'd built that one she'd brought to school. At the mention of it, she got quiet again. I didn't want her to clam up, so I decided to take a chance and ask her what happened. Turned out a boy in her class was jealous and didn't want a girl beating him out of the class prize. He smashed it on her, so she couldn't present it the next day."
"Little bastard," Al Sah-him muttered.
Dig snorted. "Yeah. My big brother instincts kicked in, and I was seeing red. That night I promised to help her rebuild it. I had no clue what I was doing, but all Felicity really needed was an extra set of hands. She knew exactly what to do, and she'd collected so many spare computer parts from her experiments that she was able to replace the broken ones. I escorted her into the classroom with it the next day. She did her presentation, and of course she won the prize. The teacher gave her a big ribbon, which she wore for a solid month," he explained, his tone full of pride.
"And the brat who picked on her?" Al Sah-him inquired. "Please tell me you handled him."
She smirked, amused that her husband's protectiveness extended to one of her childhood bullies.
"Hell yeah I did," Dig replied. "We had a little chat. Felicity informed me later on that his mother had to come to school to drop off a new pair of underwear for him."
Their full, deep chuckles mingled together, warming Felicity's heart. She pressed her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing herself. Robbie had told the class his wet spot was from spilled juice. Felicity had no idea his "accident" was because of Dig. The truth brought a satisfied grin to her face.
"Ever since then Felicity and I shared a special bond. She doesn't know it, but she helped me, too, that day. My mission became more than just taking down Darhk; it was about protecting that light Felicity held inside of her. Her light drove out the darkness that had taken hold within me. She helped to open me up and let go of the past. She gave me a new purpose, a chance to right some of my wrongs. When I finally saw Lyla again, I was a better version of myself—the version she needed—and we were able to save our marriage."
Felicity blinked away the tears threatening to fall, touched by this new insight. That day they'd first bonded at Big Belly Burger had been so special to her, too. She'd been overwhelmed by such deep sadness and loneliness since her mother's death. Focusing on school was the only way she'd been able to keep her head above water. When that kid had smashed her computer, it felt like yet another loss. Then Dig had walked into the classroom and showed her a completely different side to him. He'd offered her kindness and friendship. Dig had become so much more than a bodyguard, and it was the first time since losing her mom that she'd felt a sense of hope.
"Look," Dig broke the silence that followed, "whether you choose to be Ra's al Ghul or Oliver Queen, I don't really care. That's not my concern. My priority will always be Felicity. For whatever reason, she sees something in you that she believes is worthy of her love. My greatest worry is that her love for you will eventually snuff out her own light. She's been making sacrifices, hiding who she really is, most of her life. I don't want her to have to hide anymore.
"You can dress her in League gear"—Felicity glanced down at the uniform in question that Sara had lent her for tonight. She wore dark red leather pants with a black protective top. League gear was much stronger than A.R.G.U.S. gear, and Al Sah-him had wanted to make sure she was safe in case something went wrong. Felicity had felt awkward at first putting it on, but she had to admit she looked pretty badass in it. Her husband seemed to agree if the intense, smoldering gaze he'd given her upon seeing it was any indication—"and tell yourself you're giving her this grand new life with power and influence, but there are still sacrifices she'll have to make. Ra's al Ghul will always have enemies, and she'll continue to live her life watching her back."
"Maybe you're the one selling her short," Al Sah-him countered. "Felicity is far from a damsel in distress. She's smart and strong and can handle herself. I have complete faith that she would thrive as Bride of the Demon."
"I agree. Felicity is strong and will be great no matter what she does. But just because she can handle it doesn't mean she should have to. Don't make the mistake of assuming you know what's best for her."
"Likewise. You're not a part of the League. You don't know its potential. It might be exactly what she needs."
Dig let out a heavy sigh. "If Felicity decides to return to Nanda Parbat and stay there with you, then I'll respect her choice. But it has to be her choice. Are you at least willing to give her that, or is all your talk of respect just that—talk?"
Felicity sat perched on the edge of her seat, her sweaty palms hovering over the keyboard, waiting for Al Sah-him's answer. She was so engrossed in the conversation that the sound of her computer beeping startled her. Her final systems check had completed. As badly as Felicity wanted to wait for her husband to speak, she couldn't waste time. She motioned to Lyla, who'd been tasked with running point on the op, letting her know everything was in place for them to proceed.
Lyla gave the other agents and Felicity the go-ahead. Reluctantly, the blonde turned on her comms and interrupted the pair, "Dig, Al Sah-him, everyone is in position, and I have eyes on the warehouse. It's go time."
She was met with a few seconds of silence before someone cleared their throat.
"Copy that, shamsi," her husband replied, causing the corner of her mouth to turn up.
"Be careful, the both of you."
"Will do. But with you watching over us," Dig said, "I do think we have the upper hand."
"Probably," she agreed, her voice taking on a teasing lilt. "Also, you forgot to say 'copy that.'"
"Copy that. We're moving in five."
"Be advised, infrared is showing a strong heat signature on the north end of the warehouse."
"An explosive device?" Al Sah-him asked.
"Either that or Merlyn has company. I can't be sure until you move in."
Al Sah-him's teams, which Felicity was in charge of directing, checked in one by one as they proceeded from their various positions. Nyssa would be entering with Sara and Tommy on the ground while Al Sah-him and Dig infiltrated from the roof. Felicity initiated the body cameras with night vision capabilities.
All was quiet for the first minute. Nyssa led the unit through a darkened corridor that opened up into a wide storage area. The A.R.G.U.S. team approached from the opposite side of the building. Stacked boxes were scattered about. The teams had taken only a few steps inside when gunfire sounded.
"We have shots fired," Al Sah-him reported. "We're going in."
Felicity watched as the little green dot that represented her husband flew into the building. Dig was right beside him.
"Merlyn hired mercenaries," Sara declared. "And not just any mercenaries—"
"Ravagers," Nyssa cut in.
Al Sah-him and Dig both cursed.
"I take it they're somehow worse than your average, run-of-the-mill, crazy-scary mercenaries," Tommy piped in.
No one answered. No one had to. The Ravagers were some of the most lethal mercenaries in the world who only showed allegiance to the highest bidder. Her father had even solicited their services a time or two—usually for his more ambitious operations that would've caused high casualties for H.I.V.E. otherwise. For Merlyn to hire them meant he was out for blood.
A knot of dread formed in the pit of Felicity's stomach as the huge glob on her scanner broke off into a small army of dots. They spread out, moving so quickly it was difficult to keep count. She reported as many of their locations and numbers as she could.
"Sit tight. We'll draw some of the fire from you," Al Sah-him told them.
"Not much else to do with it raining bullets," Tommy retorted. "This is exactly why all those sword lessons are worth shit. How are we supposed to combat bullets—"
"Shut up and focus," Nyssa ordered him before commanding the others to take aim with their bows.
"My teams are reporting that parts of the warehouse are rigged with explosives," Lyla interjected. "Beware of the crates."
Her eyes glued to the screen, Felicity warned the teams of the Ravagers shifting positions. All units were directly engaged in combat. Despite being outnumbered, Al Sah-him and Dig moved quickly. Her fingers raced across the keyboard, running a detection program to try and find where the remaining small but deadly explosives could be. So far, no sign of Merlyn.
Out of the corner of her eye, Felicity monitored her husband and friend's progress. There was utter chaos in her ear from the shouts, gunfire, and staggered explosions. "Please don't die. Please don't die. Please don't die," she chanted under her breath.
"Felicity, honey," Al Sah-him interrupted, "it's a little hard to fight with you doing that in my ear."
"I thought I was muted."
A grunt. "Nope."
"Oh, sorry! Muting now. I love you. Make good choices!" she rushed out.
Minutes later, Felicity whispered a curse and turned her comm back on. "Al Sah-him, Dig, there's movement near the dock. I think some of the Ravagers are trying to escape."
"Son of a bitch," Dig swore. "Merlyn's with them. The coward's running again. They're getting on a speedboat."
Lyla ordered the crew to prepare for pursuit.
"Or you could just blow the boat out of the water," Felicity suggested.
"We could kill him," the brunette replied.
"Would that really be so bad?"
"We need to take him in alive. Besides, we don't know if the dock is rigged, too. If we shoot it, we could unintentionally set off a chain reaction that could compromise the teams' safety. The whole place could blow."
"Right. Good point." The ship rocked as it got into position and the captain gunned the engine.
"There's another boat. We're going to try and catch up to him," Dig announced. "Maybe we can trap him on the water."
Felicity worked to home in on the speedboat, but she couldn't pick up a signal. It must have some type of stealth device built in that blocked out her system. One of the other technicians, however, had a different scanner that could track it. He was now guiding Al Sah-him and Dig. The lack of control sent a jolt of panic through Felicity. She'd only ever known Al Sah-him to fight on land. Could he handle combat on the water? Did being on a boat bring back terrible memories of his past?
She couldn't ponder it for long, though, because she still had Nyssa's team to take care of. They'd succeeded in driving out and even overpowering the Ravagers, but more explosions were going off. The warehouse sustained so much structural damage it could collapse at any moment.
Picking up speed, the boat rocked up and down. Felicity did her best to ignore the queasy feeling overtaking her as she directed Nyssa and the others safely out of the warehouse.
"Where's Merlyn?" Nyssa demanded. "Do they have him?"
"We're closing in on him now." At least, that's what it sounded like based on Lyla's orders to the crew. "But that won't matter if you don't get out of there alive first," Felicity responded.
"I like Felicity's idea. Let's go with that," Tommy agreed.
"Head's up," Sara warned. The sound of grunts and weapons clashing filled the comms. "I think that's the last of the goons."
"What do you mean they're missing?" Lyla shouted at the lead technician. "We had their coordinates just a minute ago."
"Both boats just disappeared off radar, ma'am," the man replied.
"FELICITY!" came Nyssa's yell in her ear.
Focus, she coached herself. One problem at a time.
"One sec, I'm finding the best escape route."
"Where do we go?" Sara urged.
Felicity, putting her fast-talking tendency to good use, quickly issued directions to guide them out. Just as they'd cleared the warehouse, a warning popped up on her screen. Something inside the warehouse had been triggered. "It's gonna blow!" she exclaimed, catching the attention of the other technicians.
Everyone started yelling orders. Seconds later, the warehouse exploded into violent flames that licked at the night sky. Pressing her hand to her earpiece, Felicity tried to contact her friends. An ominous crackle was the only response.
"I've lost communication," Felicity reported to Lyla.
"Keep at it. I need to know the status of all our teams."
"Where are Al Sah-him and Dig?" she replied.
"We're working on it." Despite the stern tone of her voice, Lyla could not hide the worry in her eyes.
Biting her lip so hard she could taste blood, Felicity rushed to retrieve the connection. Mere moments felt like hours, but eventually another crackle sounded before Nyssa's voice came through to say they were all safe.
"Oh, thank God," Felicity breathed. "Get out of there and report to the rendezvous point."
"Where's Al Sah-him?" Sara interjected.
Good question, she thought to herself.
"Lyla," Felicity called.
"Agent Michaels, we might have something," one of the other technicians announced. "There were shots fired."
Lyla rushed to his side and ordered the ship to head in the direction of the new coordinates. Felicity stared helplessly as the crew launched into action. This was beyond her area of expertise, and it felt like torture not to be able to aid in the search.
Leaving her station, as her team was already safe, Felicity went to stand beside Lyla. "What can I do?" she demanded.
"Be patient. We'll find them."
Easier said than done, she lamented. It wasn't just about locating Al Sah-him and Dig. If Merlyn had rigged the warehouse, then there was no reason not to assume that he had something up his sleeve with his getaway boat. Not to mention that the last time Al Sah-him had probably been on a boat was the night his family's yacht sank. Was he able to focus on getting Merlyn, or was he anxious and distracted?
"We've got Agent Diggle on comms," the technician announced.
"Patch him through," Lyla ordered.
"Lyla, we have a situation. We damaged Merlyn's boat and I took out the last mercenary, but he's overboard. Al Sah-him dove in after him, and he's MIA, too."
Felicity's entire body tensed as her heart wrenched in her chest. Al Sah-him was in the water. The sky was almost pitch black with the smoke from the warehouse blocking out the moon. Not to mention the winds that made the bay water choppy. How could Al Sah-him even of think of jumping in after Merlyn? How could he find his way to the surface when enveloped by such darkness?
"Dig, you have to find him. Please," she pleaded.
"I'm searching, but I can barely see out here," he replied. "There's only one light on this boat."
One of her guards approached. "What's going on? Where's Al Sah-him?"
"I don't know. He dove in the water after Merlyn."
"He's missing?" he demanded.
"Yes."
He addressed Lyla. "We need to get to that boat. Now."
"We're already underway," the brunette replied, glaring at the guard. She obviously didn't like a League member ordering her about.
"There must be something I can do." She looked to Lyla, whose expression turned sympathetic. "I can't lose him."
Moisture stung Felicity's eyes. What if she never saw Oliver again? What if what she said last night, about feeling suffocated and like she was still in chains, was the last conversation they ever had? She couldn't let him die thinking that, despite everything, he wasn't the best part of her life. That she didn't love him with her very heart and soul. She'd never forgive herself.
Felicity paced as the minutes stretched on. Instinctively, she clutched at the sunflower necklace that hung from her neck.
"Hold on. I think I see something," Dig said.
Felicity shared a glance with Lyla, her stomach feeling like it was in her throat.
"It's Al Sah-him. I see him."
"Dig," she stressed, "get him."
A long and ominous silence followed. Then, finally: "Got him. We're heading toward you."
"John, stay where you are. Visibility is terrible, and we're almost there," Lyla told him.
"Is Oliver okay?" Felicity pressed.
"He's a little waterlogged, but he'll survive."
Felicity rushed toward the deck and peered over the railing, her eyes frantically following the search lights that created illuminating streaks across the surface of the water. Finally, the light landed on the speedboat where Dig stood at the helm. Al Sah-him sat at the stern, hunched forward. Was he hurt? If they weren't allowed to board soon, she was about to jump over the side herself to get to them.
It took a couple more minutes before Dig and Al Sah-him were assisted by the crew and came onboard. Despite instructions to keep her distance as the crew worked, Felicity saw an opening and took it. She darted between agents and threw herself at her husband.
"Oliver!" she exclaimed.
"Felicity, I'm all wet," he cautioned in a raspy voice. In spite of his protest, he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close.
"Are you okay? Why would you jump in after Merlyn? You could've drowned! What if Dig hadn't found you?" she demanded in a rush, clutching him fiercely.
"I couldn't let him get away." His body shook against hers, and she realized that he was still coughing up water.
Felicity started to pull away, but Oliver didn't let her get far. He wrapped one arm around her waist to keep her by his side. She patted his back as he expelled the rest of the water in his lungs.
"We almost had the bastard," Dig growled. "The bay has him now. We'll have to continue the search for the body in the morning when the water calms."
After a few more harsh coughs, Oliver inhaled deeply and straightened to his full height. Felicity rubbed his chest as her eyes scrutinized him, searching for any additional injuries.
One of her guards approached. "Without a body, we can't assume that Al Sa-her is, in fact, dead."
Lyla replied, "It's pitch black out, his getaway boat is destroyed, and he's miles from the shore. If he has any chance of surviving, it's minimal."
"He's right," Oliver spoke up. "Merlyn has the uncanny ability of cheating death. We can't assume he drowned. He must've had a contingency plan."
"So what you're saying is he's still a threat."
"Yes. This is far from over."
Bustling around the kitchen in the loft, Felicity kept herself busy preparing tea. After Oliver's impromptu swim in the Starling City Bay, she figured a hot, soothing cup of tea would calm her nerves. Her thoughts were going in a million different directions as she waited for Oliver to finish his shower. The debriefing with A.R.G.U.S. hadn't given them any time to talk privately.
The teapot whistled, and Felicity turned off the stove. Just as she'd finished pouring a hot cup, footsteps sounded on the stairs. She dropped her tea bag in and stared at Oliver, who wore a pair of black sweatpants and nothing else. Her eyes instantly focused on his torso, where new bruises had formed. There were also a few scrapes along his arms, but nothing more serious.
Unable to tear her gaze away from him, the tea sat forgotten on the counter. Oliver stared back, and the silence hung heavy between them.
"I thought I lost you tonight," she murmured, without breaking eye contact.
"I'm right here, shamsi," he gently replied.
"You could've drowned."
"I'm a good swimmer."
"You scared the hell out of me."
"I'm sorry." He took a step closer. "About a lot of things."
Her voice trembled. "I would've never forgiven myself if the last conversation we ever had was an argument. I would never want you to die without knowing—well, I wouldn't want you to die period—but I wouldn't want you to not know how much you mean to me."
"Felicity—"
"My greatest fear used to be that I'd never be free. But tonight I realized, regardless of the League or H.I.V.E., my greatest fear is losing you," she revealed. "You're my home, too."
Oliver's stunned and somewhat hopeful expression morphed into a confused frown. "Did you—"
"Eavesdrop on your conversation with Dig through the comms? Yes, I did," she confirmed, unable to even muster up the guilt she probably should've been feeling. "I get that I shouldn't have, but I was worried that you two wouldn't get along and I'd have to jump in anyway. Then when I heard what you said, I couldn't just turn it off."
"I'm glad you did," he replied, surprising her.
Felicity took a step toward him. "Do you really see me as being your partner when you're Ra's?"
He nodded, also moving forward.
With a furrowed brow, she asked, "Why didn't you tell me that last night?"
"Because I was so worried about losing you for good that I couldn't think straight, and you weren't wrong about the issues we'd face with the League. I spent the entire night and today thinking about how to make this work."
Felicity stood directly in front of him and rested her hand against his chest. The touch of his hot, smooth skin over hard muscle made her insides quiver. "What did you come up with?"
"There's not much we can do about the alliance while Ra's is still in charge, but it probably won't be much longer until the effects of the Pit fully wear off. He's probably got a year left, at most two. If you really don't want to return to Nanda Parbat after we catch Merlyn, I can arrange for you to stay here in Starling. I'd hate to be away from you and you'd still need security, but it's obvious you'd be safe here with John. We may have our differences but the one thing we do agree on is protecting you."
"You couldn't stay here with me?" As much as his offer thrilled her, the idea of being separated from Oliver also filled her entire body with dread and disappointment.
"No," came his strained answer. "With Ra's deteriorating health, I have to be with him in Nanda Parbat to reinforce my status as heir. It'll make the transition smoother."
"What happens if you return to Nanda Parbat without me? Will it weaken the alliance?"
"I'll handle it," he dismissed, though the grim set of his mouth said otherwise.
Despite her husband's uncanny ability to conceal his emotions, the tension throughout his entire body was clear as day. This was no simple offer. Felicity didn't doubt the scrutiny and backlash Al Sah-him would face if he returned home without her by his side. It would be seen as a sign of trouble and weakness.
"Oliver, I'm not going to let you face that alone. That's asking too much of you."
With a shake of his head, he replied, "No, shamsi, it's not. As much as I hate to admit it, John was right. From the moment we met, you've never truly had a choice. It's not fair to you, and the last thing I want is for you to end up resenting me because of it." He brought his hand to her face and gently caressed her cheek. "I could never forgive myself if I was the reason that fire that burns so brightly inside of you was snuffed out."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she informed him, "But don't you see? You fuel that fire, too, now." She stroked his jaw and moved to the back of his head, feeling the short layer of hair that he was letting grow at her request.
"Maybe that's true—"
"It is true," Felicity reinforced.
"—but if you return with me, a huge part of you will still wish you could be here in Starling. As badly as I want us to be together, it'll hurt more knowing that you really desire to be somewhere else, with someone else."
Felicity sighed, knowing he meant she wanted to be with Oliver Queen. Frustration flared within her, especially since he seemed to be making yet another choice for her instead of listening to what she was saying. "And what I'm trying to tell you, you big stubborn pine tree, is that I love every moment that I'm with you, no matter where we are, no matter who you are. If I let you walk away, then it'll feel like an even bigger piece of me is missing."
"Which I love hearing, don't get me wrong, but we're basically back at square one," he argued.
"No, not necessarily. We know that I love you, and you love me. We also know that each of us is at least willing to make some kind of compromise to make the other happy. We can't figure out our entire future in a night, and that's okay. We don't have to."
He frowned in confusion. "So what exactly are you proposing?"
"I'll choose to return to Nanda Parbat with you if you promise me that we can seriously discuss a life together that doesn't completely center around the League," she replied, holding his beautifully intense baby blues with her own. "Also, it'd help if you can promise me that I get some leeway to leave the compound once in a while. Not gonna lie, being out and about in Starling this past week is going to make me feel even more stir crazy when I go back."
"And where would you like to go?"
"Well, going for walks outside of the compound occasionally would be a good start. But we never did get a honeymoon, so if I could plan a trip for us to maybe Bali or Aruba in the near future"—she pouted her lips and shrugged casually—"that would be great, too."
"That does sound tempting." He slid his arms around her waist and drew her closer. "We can discuss alternatives to the League and arrange a trip if you promise to also hear me out about the difference you could make in the League. Does that work?"
Running her hands up and down his biceps, which she couldn't help noticing flexed enticingly beneath her touch, she said, "I can live with that for now."
"You're sure?"
She gripped his shoulders and stood on her tiptoes to plant a firm yet loving kiss on his lips. "Yes, I'm sure. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to make this work, Oliver." Dig had said it took him and Lyla a while to sort things out, and Felicity accepted that she and Oliver would need time to work out all the details, too. Whatever they did decide, it would take a lot of careful planning. They had to be smart about it and not simply rush into anything—especially with their enemies lurking around every corner.
"I do, too, shamsi. I meant what I told John about fighting for you, fighting for us. I realize I can be stubborn and not the best listener, but I'm trying. This is all new to me. The League isn't exactly known for fostering normal, healthy relationships."
"Neither is H.I.V.E. I'm trying, too. What really matters, I think, is that we're in this together."
"We are stronger together," he murmured. Their noses brushed as Oliver leaned in to claim her lips.
Felicity, clinging to him, opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, and a low groan rumbled from the back of his throat. Meanwhile, his hands dipped below the hem of the comfy sweater she'd changed into. The moment his fingers came into contact with her bare skin, her body was electrified. It ached entirely for him. Why did she suddenly feel like it'd been months since they last made love?
She sensed the same desire in Oliver. The slow, gentle kiss turned fast and frenzied. Felicity's fingers scratched at Oliver's scalp as his tongue teased her bottom lip and tangled with hers. Oliver matched her stroke for stroke, until her head spun and her knees felt weak. He supported her weight as she leaned into him.
"You're sure that you weren't hurt tonight?" Felicity questioned, vaguely aware of Oliver leading them toward the couch.
"I'm okay, I promise. Pretty sure I've coughed up all the water by now," he joked.
She bit his lip in response, the gesture both playful and scolding. "You weren't scared at all?"
They both let out an oof when they landed on the couch, with Oliver taking most of the brunt from beneath her. He paused and pulled back slightly to look at her.
"Yes, I was scared. There was a moment in the water when I felt like my twelve-year-old self all over again, about to lose everything I ever loved." He brushed the curtain of hair away from her face. "I wasn't about to let history repeat itself—even if I do probably owe John one now for helping me."
Felicity beamed down at him. "You're gonna be best friends one day. You watch."
Oliver scoffed. "I highly doubt that."
She was sure she could get them to play nice at some point, but that probably wouldn't be anytime soon. Besides, she had more important matters to attend to. Reaching for the hem of her sweater, Felicity yanked it over her head. Oliver hungrily took in the sight of her lace-clad breasts. Her thighs clenched around him upon feeling his growing erection. She leaned back down to kiss him and reached for the elastic waistband of his sweats, eager to free him, when a loud pounding sound interrupted.
Her husband swore colorfully under his breath before gently lifting her off of him to answer the door. Felicity quickly reached for her shirt, surprised that her intense, laser-like glare hadn't already burned a hole in the door and singed whoever dared to interrupt them. Did assassins never sleep?
"What?" Al Sah-him barked.
"Jeez, crabby much?" Sara replied.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and tapered his tone. "Sorry, it's been a long night. What do you need, Sara?"
"There's been a new development regarding Merlyn. You better come right away."
"What is it? If it's another lead, send the team and—"
"It's not another lead. It's Merlyn. He's here."
"What?" Felicity stood up. "How many lives does that man have?"
"He's decided to surrender and willingly turn himself over to the League to face justice."
"Why?" Al Sah-him demanded, suspicion coloring his tone. "What's the catch?"
"What do you think? He wants to make an exchange for Tommy."
Translations:
Aroos El Ghoul = Bride of the Demon
shamsi = my sun