"This is the Senju compound," says Tobirama, gesturing to it.
"And over this way is the Uchiha compound," says Madara, dragging his father in that direction.
"And we have the Sarutobi clan, and their allies," says Hashirama, cheerfully. "And the Hyuuga clan, and a group of insect user-ers who call themselves the Aburame clan, and the Inuzukas, and the Hatake clan and a bunch of others! It's gonna be a big village! And the clan wars are OVER!"
"We're even expectiking the Hidden Whirly-poolies to send us some representititives," says Tobirama, slurring his words badly. "Aaaany day now."
"Are you drunk?" asks a woman's voice from behind them.
They turn to see two women wearing Whirlpool forehead protectors. One of the women has red hair tied up in two buns on the top of her head, and a diamond in the centre of her forehead. Evidently, she is a young Mito Uzumaki. The other woman has long brown hair, hanging loose down to her knees.
"I'm not," says Madara. "They are!" he points to Hashirama and Tobirama.
"They are all drunk," sighs Batsuma, facepalming.
"Haha, your hair is pretty," says Hashirama, and pats one of Mito's buns. A crown made of roses grows around her head. "Let's get married when we're grownups."
"Alright," says Mito, a concerned expression on her face. "Who are you?"
"I'm Hashirama Senju," says Hashirama. Then he shyly ads, "Hi."
"Is this a goddess I see before me?" says Tobirama, kneeling on the ground before the other woman.
"If you say so, so I shall be," says the woman.
"Allow me to serve you in whatever way you see fit!" says Tobirama, taking her hand, and kissing it.
"Then you shall be my husband," says the woman. "But you will need to learn fuuinjutsu the old way."
"No need," says Steve, as all four shinigami appear. "He's gone and brought the dead to the world of the living, making him a Grand Master of fuuinjutsu. You'd better keep this one, Umino."
"We're going to need a peace treaty," says Mito, a cunning expression in her eye. "And us marrying these two Senjus will be in there. And we'd better do it before they sober up and forget."
"Can we get back to being dead?" asks Tajima tiredly.
"I had better record how I did the jutsu before I sober up and forget," says Tobirama, pulling out a pen and scroll. He lies on his stomach with his legs in the air and writes out the seal formula. Then he grins and says, "We need to finish our tour of the village, care to join us?"
"Don't mind if we do," says Mito, taking Hashirama's arm. "We can't have three drunks and two zombies wandering about unattended."
"Before that, we should write up the peace agreement between our villages," says the Umino woman. "We will, of course, check it over once the three of you are sober."
"And that's exactly what we did," says Hashirama, ending the flashback no jutsu. "Oh how the tables have turned. Back then we reanimated our fathers to show them our village, now we are reanimations being shown the village. Except Madara...he's back for real and plotting the apocalypse."
"Speaking of Madara," says Fugaku, getting up. "I need to run his ultimatum past the village elders and the clan heads. Come on, Madara, let's go while I think of it."
About mid afternoon, a summons is sent forth from the Hokage Tower, calling the elders, the clan heads and the previous Hokages to an urgent meeting. At the same time, the entire village is instructed to gather around the Hokage Tower for an important announcement.
As the village gathers, Fugaku meets his council in the council room. Madara stands off to one side looking sulky while the clan heads take their seats. The elders and the previous Hokages take their places of Honour near the Fifth Hokage. When everyone is finally gathered, Fugaku calls the meeting to order, silencing the curious whispers travelling around the table.
"Alright," says Fugaku, clasping his hands together and resting his chin on them, with his elbows up on the table. "A few of you already know why we are here. For the rest of you, I suppose it will be simplest to say that Madara Uchiha is back from the dead and we have one year to convince him NOT to cause the apocalypse. Lord First, please read Madara's Ultimatum to everyone."
Hashirama reads the Ultimatum aloud and, once he is done, he retreats to a corner to cry from the pain the silver pen on gold paper caused his eyes.
"Hiashi!" snaps Koharu, banging her cane on the floor. "You were at the battle at the Temple of Jashin? Why didn't you talk Fugaku out of this madness?"
"We did not have a lot of choices," says Hiashi. "We were all either wounded, exhausted or dead. The Kazekage and the Mizukage agreed to the Ultimatum, not to mention Madara had Naruto and Sasuke hostage."
"I mean, if you have a problem with your Hokage's decision," says Madara, taking an interest in the meeting. "You could fight me."
"Who's he?" demands Tsume.
"Madara Uchiha," says Fugaku, stroking his mustache. "Madara, please do not threaten the village elders."
"Sure, sure," says Madara, backing off.
"So let me get this straight," says Inoichi. "You are going to let him roam free in the village, rather than locking him up. What are you thinking?"
"That we don't have a lot of other choices," says Fugaku, evenly.
"I, for one, agree that this Ultimatum is the best solution," says Shibi. "It might not be the right solution, or even the one that makes the most sense, but Fugaku did what he thought best at the time, and I trust his judgement."
"I was there," says Hiashi, supportively. "And I think that we are only delaying the inevitable. However, it was the best option at the time."
"The Hyuuga's got a point," says Madara.
"We've established that Fugaku had no other viable choices," says Shikakaku, thoughtfully. "But how can we be sure Madara will adhere to the rules laid out in the Ultimatum. You make it sound as though he is so powerful that all the combined might of the shinobi world could not stop him. How do you plan to keep him in line, Fugaku?"
"My Mustache will lend me the power," says Fugaku, without hesitating.
Madara laughs heartily. "That dumb-looking mustache won't increase your power, you moron."
Fugaku sees red. He stands so abruptly, his chair hits the wall behind him. Fugaku feels a swell of fiery power from his mustache. He turns and punches Madara in the gut, sending him flying through the wall. Madara flies through the air and hits the cliff above the village, creating a Madara-shaped hole in the cliff face. Fugaku leaps out of the hole in the wall and leaps to the cliff where Madara is stuck to the bottom of his crater. Fugaku pulls Madara out by the front of his shirt and says, "Don't. Knock. The. Mustache."
"Noted," says Madara, dazed.
Fugaku drags Madara back to the Hokage Tower, where the council is staring at the hole in the wall, their mouths hanging open. Fugaku throws Madara to one side and says, "As I was saying: my mustache will lend me the power I need to keep Madara in line. Are there any more valid points anyone would like to bring up?"
Everyone shakes their heads, their mouths still hanging open. Everyone, that is, except Okami, who is casually filing her nails, and Chouza.
"I have a question for Okami sama," says Chouza. "Okami-sama, why haven't you had your say in the matter yet? I would've thought you would have an opinion on this."
Okami looks up from her filing. "Of course I have an opinion," she says. "But I couldn't care less. Do whatever you want."
"Just out of curiosity," says Shikaku. "What is your opinion?"
"We're all going to die anyway," shrugs Okami. "What does it matter if it is now, in a year, or at the end of our natural lives? Have fun trying to tame Madara, Fugaku. I'll be watching with a bag of popcorn."
"Very good," nods Fugaku. "I would expect no less of the Uzumaki Queen. Now, we had best let the village know what is happening."
"LET THE VILLAGE KNOW?" Shouts Homura. "That will incite chaos!"
"It's too late," says Fugaku, smugly. This is exactly why he called the village to gather before the meeting started. "I've already gathered the village. Let's go and tell them." He turns back to Madara, grabs him by the front of his shirt and drags him up to the roof of the Hokage tower. The council picks up the pieces of their shattered minds and scrambles after him. "Don't forget to bring the Ultimatum!" Fugaku calls over his shoulder as he is heading out the door.
When they all reach the roof, Fugaku releases Madara.
Madara stands and brushes himself off. "Note to self," he mutters. "The Hokage's mustache is the physical manifestation of the Will of Fire, and it is controlling Fugaku in order to rule the Leaf Village from the shadows."
Fugaku frowns at Madara. "How hard did I hit him?" he mutters.
"Here," says Lord Third, holding out the Ultimatum. "I brought the Ultimatum."
"Good, you can read it to the village," says Fugaku. "The village will feel much better about the news if they see that you support the plan." He is, of course, buttering up Hiruzen so that someone who hasn't already had their eyes destroyed will get to read it.
His ruse, of course, works like a charm. "Very well," says Hiruzen. "I will be glad to read it for the village."
Fugaku steps forward to address the village. "As most of you don't know, there was an epic battle at the Temple of Jashin yesterday. In that battle, the Fourth Hokage and his wife were brought back to life by their son, Naruto Uzumaki. We have a few more reanimations wandering the village. Please do not be alarmed. Also brought back from the dead was Madara Uchiha. Unable to defeat him, we instead brokered a peace treaty. Lord Third will read it for everyone now." Fugaku steps aside and gestures Hiruzen forward.
By the time the Third Hokage has finished reading Madara's Ultimatum, his eyes are watering in pain and the village is somewhere between total panic and jubilant celebration. So in other words, they are totally silent and unsure how to react.