Tsunade is doing her rounds of her patients. Rock Lee is in for his last check up. "Well, Lee," Tsunade tells him cheerfully. "You are fully healed. But make sure you build up your training routine slowly so you don't put unnecessary strain on your muscles. You don't want to end up back in here with training injuries, do you?"
"No, Lady Tsunade!" says Lee, saluting enthusiastically. "I will do exactly as you say!"
"Very well, you may go," says Tsunade.
"Thank you Lady Tsunade!" says Lee, bowing and smiling.
Tsunade watches him leave with a smile on her face. She is happy for the young man. What he doesn't know is that he recovered so well his bones are stronger than they were before. She told him not to push himself too hard because she does not want him beating himself up over how far behind his training he has fallen because of his injuries.
"LADY TSUNADE!" Shizune bursts into the examination room, a panicked expression on his face. "We have an emergency! Come quickly!"
"Where's Okami?" asks Tsunade. "Can't she deal with it?"
"She's training Karin," says Shizune. "She won't be back until tomorrow. Besides, this is a matter that she couldn't deal with anyway."
Tsunade sighs and stands. "Lead the way."
Shizune leads Tsunade down to the lobby to where Minato, Kushina, Ikkaku, Kohari, Mei and Hizashi are waiting. Patients and staff alike are staring at them and the five children with them. Minato is holding a very skinny newborn with a cleft palette. Hizashi has his arm around an adolescent boy with milky-white eyes. Two identical boys huddle together under a blanket, but the way they are standing sets off alarm bells in Tsunade's mind. The fifth child, who is wrapped in a blanket like the rest, has a twisted foot. Ikkaku is carrying her in his arms.
Tsunade marches over to the group. "Where did you find these kids?" she demands.
"We just orphaned them," says Kushina cheerfully. "They are the children of the Order of Joe. We just wiped out the Order of Joe."
"...Right," says Tsunade, raising an eyebrow. "Follow me." She leads them to a quarantine ward. "Shizune, prepare a surgery room. We are going to fix the baby up first." Several minutes of ordering her staff around later, and Tsunade has four of the children in hospital beds in the same ward, a quarantine sign on the door, hospital gowns on the kids (who own nothing but what they were born with), and a drip feeder getting some nutrients into the baby.
Shizune returns to tell Tsunade the operation theatre is ready. Tsunade whisks the baby away, taking Shizune with her. Fixing the baby's cleft palate is a simple matter for Tsunade, and it only takes her an hour with Shizune's help. When the operation is finished, Tsunade takes the baby back to the ward and puts her in the crib she had the orderlies set up.
"What's the baby's name?" she asks Kushina, who stuck around. Minato, Ikkaku, Kohari, Hizashi and Mei left while Tsunade was in theatre.
"Ajisai," replies Kushina. "She must be the baby Joe mentioned after he and the other shinigami declared Naruto a Grand Master of Fuinjutsu. He said something about going to gloat over one of his followers who just had a baby."
"You've met Joe?" asks the girl, who Tsunade has learned is eight years old and named Sekitei. "What's he like? Is he nicer than the Order?"
"Joe is…" Kushina thinks about this. "He's...kinda dumb, and prone to violent killing sprees when he is summoned by someone who can't control him. Aside from that, he's a cool guy. It's a pity his cult was the worst."
"He is going to be mad," says Tsunade.
"That's his problem," shrugs Kushina. "I'm not scared of Joe."
"Right," says Tsunade, deciding to get back to business. "I'll need Okami's help to separate the twins, not to mention a full team of surgeons, careful planning and at least 20 hours. However, Shizune and I can correct the girl's foot."
"Seperate us?" asks the twin on the left. The twins are six years old and co-joined from hip to under arm. "How?"
"Get your elbow out of my face!" snaps the right twin.
"Get your face out of my elbow!" says the left twin, jabbing his brother in the face a couple of times.
"Who is going to look after all these kids?" asks Shizune.
"That's what the others went to bug Fugaku about," says Kushina. "By the time you are finished with them, Tsunade, we will have found someone to look after them."
"The blind boy can leave once he's had the rest of his vaccinations," says Tsunade. "He's fine - but his blindness can't be fixed. He is missing parts of his eyes."
Iruka wonders why Fugaku turned up at his house. He is also fairly sure Fugaku is wondering that too. The two of them stare awkwardly at each other before Iruka, who is lying on the couch feeling sore, says, "What do you want, Lord Hokage?"
"I just came to tell you that I casually told the entire village that Naruto is the Fourth Hokage's son," says Fugaku, shrugging. "It stopped them from worrying about the Madara situation. But now the elders are pissed at me."
"Why are you telling me?" asks Iruka.
"Because Kushina wouldn't listen to me about not killing people over their treatment of Naruto and I thought you might be able to alleviate the situation," says Fugaku.
"Oh, Kushina's on a murder spree right now," says Iruka, shrugging. There is not a lot he can do. "She's off with Minato, my parents, Mei and Hizashi. They heard about what happened when we met the Order of Joe on our Temple Tour."
Fugaku sits down heavily. "The village is doomed."
"I'll do what I can," says Iruka supportively. "Oh, it looks like they are back, but Kushina is not with them. I wonder what happened?"
Minato, Hizashi, Mei and Iruka's parents file into the room, grim expression on their faces. "Lord Hokage," says Hizashi. "We all just killed the Order of Joe."
"So I hear," says Fugaku, raising an eyebrow. "I hope you didn't slaughter any innocent children."
"Oh no," says Minato. "We brought them back to the village. There were only five children in the entire Order - all the inbreeding probably created fertility problems. They are with Tsunade in the hospital at the moment. All but one needs surgery to correct a birth defect or deformity of some kind."
"Let me guess," says Fugaku, rubbing his temples. "You want me to decide who should look after them?"
"Yes, and don't suggest my parents," says Minato firmly. "This house is full enough. I mean, Kushina and I are sleeping in the guest room. There is no guest room now."
"We could send them to the orphanage," says Fugaku. "Nono is back in charge, and I know she will take care of them."
"That won't do," says Ikkaku, shaking his head. "The level of trauma these kids are sure to have is not something an orphanage is equipped to deal with. Whoever looks after them will need to be able to devote most of their time and attention to helping these kids recover."
Iruka can see the solution as clear as day. "Give them to Madara," he says.
Fugaku turns to him, horrified. "WHAT."
"You heard," says Iruka, calmly. "You haven't found Madara anything to do yet, and these kids need someone to look after them. We've already seen that he can cook and is not terrible with kids. Besides, it would only be for a year, until the Ultimatum has come to an end."
"Absolutely not," says Fugaku. "I will not give Madara a chance to brainwash a set of new disciples to carry out his bidding."
"We'll all be dead at the end of the year, so what does it matter?" demands Iruka. "And it is far better Madara brainwash them than the Order of Joe!"
"Get the idea out of your head, it is not happening!" snaps Fugaku, glaring at Iruka.
"Fugaku," says Minato thoughtfully. "I'm sorry, but I'm with Iruka on this one. Giving those kids to Madara won't do them any harm, and it might do him a whole lot of good. As Iruka says, it will only be for a year - until Madara decides what to do. We don't have much chance of stopping him, but at the very least looking after four traumatized kids and a baby will keep him too busy to plan his course of action properly."
"Minato has a good point," agrees Iruka's mother. "If we use those kids as a way of distracting Madara from his plans, we might just be able to counter him properly when the time comes."
Mei and Iruka's father are nodding in agreement. Only Fugaku is opposed to the plan.
"Fine," says Fugaku, giving up. "Since you all outnumber me, go ahead. But guess what? Iruka: YOU are in charge of all dealings with Madara from now on. You can keep him busy. YOU can try to convince him not to revive Kaguya. And YOU get to tell him he's looking after five random orphans!" Fugaku sweeps out of the room muttering angrily to himself.
"So I'm in charge of Madara, then?" says Iruka, grinning. "That's good. I will need a hand teaching my class now." He looks down at the remains of his arm meaningfully.
"Aaaaaand he's making Dad jokes," says Mei, grinning. "Nice."
"You're going to make Madara help you teach your class?" says Hizashi, facepalming. "Why am I not surprised?"