Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Three Houses. All rights to the owners.

I have no ideas going into this. Let's see what I can think up…

"Teach!"

"Yes?"

"Oh, wow, you were actually there…" Claude chuckles as his professor calmly leaps off a nearby building to land next to him. "Were you following me Teach? Naughty naughty."

"Says the boy sneaking out of the inter-house dinner."

"Ah, you got me." The boy chuckles. "You make that sound like a bad thing Teach, what if I'm doing this for the benefit of everyone?"

"And what benefit would that be?"

"Removing you from the hall."

Byleth blinks. "You knew I would follow you?"

"Of course! You're too perceptive to not have noticed. I figured you'd think I had some sceme concocted and would chase me."

"Why is removing me from the dining hall a good thing?"

"You tend to cause competition Teach." Claude chuckles. "Dimitri and Edelgard both want to impress you, you know. They're going to quip at each other, argue, and generally try to one-up each other as long as you're there. I could see them getting a little heated, so I may have baited you out here. Hope ya don't mind."

Byleth eyes him appraisingly. At least, Claude is going to tell himself that it's appraising. Her expression never changes, so really he has no idea. She could be planning on putting a dagger in his head for all he really knows.

That doesn't seem her style though. She's been a tough cookie to crack, but Claude has identified a few concrete things about her. Mainly that she's a weird mix of hyper-competence in combat, warfare, survival, stealth, and similar matters, but totally incompetant when it comes to basically anything else, especially social situations that don't involve heavy manipulation.

He hasn't told her to her face, but he finds her incompetence adorable. He wants to tell her just to see how he responds… but he won't, because, you know, she's his teacher.

"So you led me out here to stop Dimitri and Edelgard from fighting?"

"Yep."

"I see." Byleth says, and nods. "Good thinking… but what do we do for now?"

"Well, what do you usually do in your free time?"

"Train."

"When not training."

"I mark tests."

"I said free time Teach."

Byleth frowns. "I… spend time with Father."

"...is that it?" Claude asks in surprise. "You don't have a hobby or something?"

Byleth doesn't respond. She keeps up her smile, but Claude reads a measure of discomfort in her posture.

"Wow, okay, you need a hobby." Claude says in surprise. "Seriously Teach. Your whole life shouldn't be training with occasional talks with your pop."

"I teach as well."

The boy rolls his eyes. She's missing the point entirely. "That's a job, not a hobby."

She tilts her head. "What would you suggest?"

"Doesn't matter what I think. A hobby is supposed to be something you enjoy." Claude snorts. "What do you enjoy Teach?"

"Train-"

"Aside from what you do already."

Byleth falls silent again. She considers all her likes and dislikes, trying to come up with something that could possibly become a hobby. She really doesn't do much aside from hone her own skills when she's not teaching. She practices stealth and observation, she practices her swordplay, hand-to-hand, and dagger throwing, and occasionally visits her father. That's really it. She doesn't fish, she doesn't collect nor practice tea, nothing. If she's in her room, she's either taking care of her weapons, sleeping, or grading papers.

"You don't have to tell me now, just think about it." Claude says after a minute, seeing that his professor is having trouble. "It'll be good for you."

She nods in understanding.

"Now that we've given their lordships a moment to calm down, let's go back, shall we?" Claude grins. "I was hoping to get some of those ribs. I hope Raph hasn't taken them all."

###

"O-Okay!" Leonie pants. "J-Just let me catch my breath… whoo… I'm still… gonna beat you."

"Right." Byleth smiles.

The two women have been sparring for nearly two hours by this point. Leonie is bent over with her hands on her knees, panting, and sweating profusely all the while. Byleth has worked up a bit of a sweat herself, but seems to be in much better condition than her student.

"Don't look… so smug!" Leonie threatens weakly. "Stop smiling!"

"Why?"

"You look condescending!" She barks.

"I see… but there is a point to my smile." Byleth murmurs.

"What's that?"

"Manipulation." She says honestly. "People tend to be more favorable towards you if you smile. Visible emotion is a powerful tool. If I frowned all the time, I'd look less approachable and less pleasant, which isn't my goal."

"Wait, wait… you keep your smile up to look pleasant, right?"

"Yes."

"So does that mean you're not actually happy right now?" Leonie asks suspiciously.

"I'm happy enough to be training with one of my students, but I'm not ecstatic if that's what you mean." Byleth offers. "I do not feel particularly strongly about training."

Leonie's doesn't know what to think about that. Her professor just admitted to conscious, constant deception via schooling her expression constantly. That's a bit unnerving, right? It's not just her?

"Now, are you ready again?" Byleth asks. "Or do you need more rest?"

"No, I can go again." Leonie grunts, and lifts her spear. "Alright, let's do this."

###

Lysithea glances up from the book she's reading. She blinks, rubs her eyes, and squints at the candle, and then the window. She blanches slightly when she sees stars outside, and a pale full moon hanging in the sky. She's been here a lot longer than she planned on being. Granted, if sh didn't have classes tomorrow, she'd gladly stay up longer, but Professor Hanneman's class is first thing in the morning so she should probably get back to her room.

Reluctantly, the girl packs up her papers, quill, and ink, and returns the books she was reading back to their proper spots. She then picks up her candle in its holder and exits the library reluctantly. The torches in the halls have already been extinguished, leaving the girl to navigate only by the moon where it shines through the sparse windows and the sparse light of her candle.

The darkness alone is a bit unnerving. Lysithea would tell anyone who asked that of course she's not afraid… but she is, just a little bit. That's why when a shadow momentarily crosses a window in front of her she freezes in place. That was no small shadow, and she heard no sound. It's too small for a bat, and too silent for an escaped wyvern or pegasus.

Lysithea rapidly shakes her head. She's being foolish. Of course it's nothing. The monastery is perfectly safe. She does pick up her pace a bit though, wanting to get back to the comfort of her room as soon as possible.

She moves down the stairs at a brisk pace and exits the cathedral. She spares a look back as she leaves, half expecting to see some dark shape swooping down from the spires, but of course there's nothing.

"Why would there be? It's late. You're not a child Lysithea." The girl mutters to herself. "Bah, this is absurd. I'm seeing shadows and ghosts where there are none…"

The girl makes her way past the classrooms, nodding to a few patrolling guards as she does so. Their footsteps and their torchlight fade away as they round a corner, and the brief respite Lysithea had from the darkness is over.

Something from the corner of her eye catches her attention, and her gaze snaps to the roof of one of the classrooms. She doesn't see anything now, but she swears there was something there.

"I-It's probably just a cat or something." She mumbles, and clutches her candle tightly. She curses the way her heart is racing and her veins pump with adrenaline. "Just a cat…"

Even so, she runs the rest of the way back to her room. She all but slams the door behind her and quickly locks it. The girl sighs in relief as she puts down all her things and starts to prepare for-

"You've got sharp eyes."

"AAAAHHH!" Lysithea doesn't hesitate to fire off Miasma, and the darkness shoots from her hand to impact the ceiling harmlessly. Her shriek is stopped a moment later by a hand covering her mouth, and her wrist is also grabbed to stop another attack.

"Good reflexes too." Byleth remarks calmly as the girl struggles. "Although your aim could use a little work."

Realizing that the intruder is just her professor, Lysithea stops squirming and the woman releases her. "Wh-What are you doing here?!" She hisses. "Why were you on the ceiling?!"

"I'm usually on the ceiling." Byleth says with a shrug. "Stealth practice. I came here, followed you from the library actually, to warn you about staying up so late again. I can applaud dedicated research, but your overall productivity will be lower if you are tired. Even if not for school's sake and just for your own work, it would be best to go to bed on time."

"My research is far more important that sleep."

"Then you should sleep, because you forget more things when you don't get enough sleep, so you'll just have to learn them again." Her professor reminds her as she moves to the window to leave. "A smart soldier gets good rest, it's more important than nearly anything else."

"Fine." The white-haired girl mutters. "I'll try to remember next time."

"Good." She steps out of the window with an ease that suggests this is a practiced maneuver… and considering how often she enters rooms through strange places, Lysithea doesn't doubt it is practiced. "Now sleep."

The window slides closed and Lysithea rolls her eyes. Just her luck that the year she gets into the academy, they recruit a weirdo ninja teacher. At least the professor seems more interested in other students like Petra, Raphael, and Dimitri, more than her.

The girl puts away her quill case and changes into her nightclothes, and then extinguishes her candle. She slides into bed and relaxes, allowing her already droopy eyelids to close fully. Pleasant sleep finally starts to reach-

"Oh, don't forget to meet at the training grounds instead of the classroom tomorrow."

"Goddess-! Leave!" She barks, and glares at the woman who has stuck her head in through the window again. The professor withdraws her head without comment and again, silently, closes the window.

Maybe she was wrong. This place does have a ghost. It's got blue hair, an attractive body, a creepy fixed smile, and apparently has no sense of social propriety…

###

"-one ninety nine, aaaaand two hundered." Raphael grunts. "Whoo, I can feel that. What about you Professor?"

Byleth nods. The burning in her arms can hardly be ignored. "Quite. What's next?"

"Next is food! I dunno about you, but I'm starving! Gotta keep that energy up!" The boy smiles. "I hope they've got some good meat. I could go for a steak."

"Unlikely. Steak will probably be kept for dinner. However, they may have rabbit, or smaller meats." Byleth says.

The two walk over to the dining hall, grab food, and sit down. Raphael's portion is obviously larger than Byleth's, but hers is hardly small. The first few minutes of the meal are occupied by the two of them stuffing their faces. However, after the bulk of the food is gone, the two actually talk a bit.

"There aren't many people who can keep up with my training professor. I'm surprised you can!" The boy says. "You're a lot stronger than you look!"

"Good." Byleth grunts. "Being underestimated is always helpful."

"Well, I wouldn't say people underestimate you." Raphael chuckles. "I think almost all the students are a bit scared of you professor."

"Even you?"

"A little. I've never met someone who can match my strength, but you can also jump from buildings and appear from nowhere. That's a bit scary." He says.

"I see." She doesn't sound particularly put off by that fact. If anything, she sounds amused. "I hope that doesn't dissuade you from training with me. I find you quite a good training partner."

"Really? Well thanks Professor!" The boy says with a big grin. "Of course it doesn't stop me! I haven't been able to find someone who can keep up since I was little! I'm not about to give up my best training buddy!"

"Good. What's next by the way? I'm done eating."

"We gotta wait for the food to settle first, but then I think we should do some more lower body training, and then some endurance stuff like running!"

"Got it." Byleth is more than willing to let Raphael dictate their routine. It's quite the wringer, which she can appreciate. Her own routine was starting to become inadequate before she came to the monastery, and Raphael's was just the replacement she needed. It also helps he's just really friendly...

###

"Romantic advice? Well Professor, you've come to the right place!" Lorenz Hellman Gloucester says proudly as he sticks his chin up proudly. It's only natural she'd come to such a distinguished, and knowledgeable noble as himself for such a delicate matter. "I do consider myself a bit of an expert on such things, you know."

"I do know. Hence why I'm asking you." Byleth murmurs. "I seem to fare very poorly in all of my attempts, and no one is willing to tell me why. Not even Dorothea, and she usually doesn't mind giving dating advice."

"Well, I am more than willing to be your instructor!" Lorenz chuckles. "It is only fair, I must repay you for the education you've been giving us!"

"I'm fairly sure that's why you pay the monastery."

"Oh please! Such a pittance is insufficient compensation." The boy says dismissively. "Now, there is some easy advice that can be given without me even knowing your situation. Some essentials to flirting are universal! A pleasant smile, sincerity, and some more subtle aspects of body language." Lorenz explains. "The lack is sincerity is why Sylvain never succeeds, see?"

Byleth nods seriously, hanging on to his every word.

"An immediate problem that I can see is that your usual smile looks rather… fake. Or just polite, but not genuine." The boy says critically. "You can smile genuinely, yes?"

"Of course." Byelth nods, and does so. Her new smiles stretches the edges of her face unnaturally, and the slight head tilt that comes along with it adds to just how eerie it looks.

"Hmm…" Lorenz frowns. He quells the shock he's feeling and tries to think through this. He was expecting his professor to maybe have some minor issue, not for her to be terrifying to merely look upon. "Erm… alright…"

"Is there something wrong?" The professor asks.

Can he really tell her that she looks creepy? That would an impolite thing to say to a woman. She asked for his help though… Hmm... "W-Well, not quite. Your smile is unique is all. You look very… enthusiastic."

"Good."

"S-So, erm, you have claimed before to be a skilled assassin, yes?"

"Indeed."

"Then you are versed in seduction to an extent, correct?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"Well, many of the same principles of seduction apply to flirting." Lorenz says. "They are quite similar after all. Both activities are simply a way of enticing someone else, although for slightly different ends."

Byleth's smile changes to a furious looking glare, and Lorenz recoils slightly. "You said to be genuine, yes?" She asks in a low voice.

"Y-Yes?"

"Seduction is a falsehood." She responds firmly. "That would not be genuine of me."

"By that logic Professor, being polite is also a falsehood." Lorenz scoffs.

"Ah." She blinks. Her glare turns to a flat, emotionless expression. "That is a good point. So I should seduce them?"

"Erm… not quite." Lorenz coughs. Unless she's going for a one-night-stand, that would not be a great idea. "You are attempting to establish a connection, and outright seduction is not quite the best for that."

"But you just said-"

"I said it was similar to flirtation." Lorenz sighs. This is a lot more difficult than he expected. He's having more trouble explaining this than he was expecting. "Okay, erm… this might take a while…"

###

"Lorenz."

"Ah, Hilda. How rare it is for you to approach me. To what do I-"

"What the fuck did you tell the professor?" She interrupts with a scowl. "What did you do?"

"You have to be more speci-"

"Why is she leering at the gatekeeper? Again? Dorothea stopped her from doing that before and now she's at it again!" Hilda huffs. "She just came away from talking to you, right? What the hell did you tell her?"

"I simply gave advice!" Lorenz scoffs. "Apparently our dear professor has had issues with romance, and seeing my incredible success in that area, she asked for my assistance."

"You're joking."

"Not so! Ask her yourself." The boy smiles smugly. "She was quite the disaster before, judging by what she told me, but with my expert advice, she should improve dramatically."

"Then why is she creeping on the gatekeeper?!"

"The gatekeeper? I thought she would aim a bit higher…"

"That's not the point you shallow ass!"

"Pardon you! I know, and respect, my responsibilities as a noble! It is my duty to aim high, and I encourage others to do so as well!" Lorenz huffs. "Besides, what is the problem here? If the professor wishes to pursue the gatekeeper, who are we to stop her?"

"Have you ever seen her flirt before?"

"Well no-"

Hilda promptly grabs the boy by the arm and drags him over to the main gate. They pass by a number of students who raise amused eyebrows at the two of them. Lorenz curses the hit to his reputation, but Hilda ignores everyone they pass.

"Look. This is your fault." Hilda growls.

Lorenz blinks as he gazed upon the scene in front of him. One of the two guards is pointedly looking away, looking like he's trying very hard not to laugh, while the other is pressed against the wall looking for an escape from the woman leaning over him. She has that wide, creepy smile on her face again. She's also following some of the advice Lorenz gave and is incorporating some of her less manipulative seduction techniques, mostly surrounding how she's posing her body, but the creepy smile really just ruins her attempt.

"Ah… okay… I understand." Lorenz coughs. "She's much more aggressive than I expected."

"Stop her." Hilda snaps. "This is your fault."

"Fine, fine. Let it never be said that Lorenz Hellman-"

"GO."

"Alright, alright." He sighs.

Hilda watches the boy go and talk to Byleth. She shakes her head and lets out a long sigh. She hates to stop the professor, she knows the woman means no ill, but there's no way Hilda can let her go around terrorizing the guards.

Someone is going to have to teach Byleth basic social and flirtation skills at some point… but it won't be Hilda. Too much effort. Poor professor, she's gotten stopped half a dozen times now. Hilda really does feel bad, but it's probably for the best she's stopped for the foreseeable future.

###

"You have many similar paintings."

"Ah! Oh, Professor, I didn't realize you were here!" Ignatz breathes. "Did I lose something? Is that why you came?"

"Yes." She points to a blue stone sitting on his desk. "I got distracted after, looking at your paintings."

"O-Oh!" The boy squeaks. "Wh-What do you think?"

"They're good… but very similar. Especially the paintings of people. You seem to pain Rhea-like people a lot."

"Oh, that!" The boy says, and blushes. "Erm, that's because I'm trying to paint someone in particular."

"Rhea?"

"No." He mumbles in embarrassment. "The Goddess."

"I see." She murmurs. "Then you'll want to make her smaller. Use Flayn as a base perhaps. Her hair is much more messy, and her outfit more… skimpy."

Ignatz blinks rapidly. "You talk like you've seen her."

"I have. She's right here." She gestures to the air beside her.

"Erm…" The boy doesn't know what to say about that. "If you say so professor."

"I do." She nods. "However, if you seek to improve your art in general, I suggest you draw more people than just Rhea. If you draw only one body type, then you'll have a very limited understanding of how to draw people in general aside from that one type."

Ignatz's brow furrows. "That… makes sense." He nods. "I never considered that before. That's probably standard practice… I wouldn't know I suppose. I'm self-taught."

"Well, better to start now than never. If you are looking for particulars, I suggest Flayn, Marianne, Dorothea, Edelgard, and… men. In general. All your paintings are women thus far." Byleth says. "Dedue, Ashe, Hanneman, Hubert, and Raphael, if you need specific suggestions."

"Thank you Professor!" Ignatz says with a hasty bow. "I'll be sure to remember that!"

"Good." She nods. She carefully puts back the coverings on the paintings, and returns them to their spots. "Consider asking for permission first. Not everyone takes kindly to being painted."

"O-Oh! Oh course, I should have thought of that." Ignatz coughs.

"You have my permission, incidentally." Byleth blinks. "And don't forget the assignment tomorrow."

With that, Byleth steps out the window and leaves, leaving Ignatz alone in his room. The boy sinks waits for a few seconds, seeing in she'll return, but when she doesn't he lets out a shaky breath and sits down on his bed, then buries his face in his hands.

His embarrassment takes several minutes to pass, but he isn't able to look his professor in the eye for nearly two weeks afterwards.

###

"You would make a good spy…"

"Wh-What makes you say that Professor?" Marianne stammers.

"You are inconspicuous. Most people tend to ignore you." Byleth says. "That is a useful trait. Someone ignoring you can act without raising their concern. You can listen in on conversations, walk past guards without too much scrutiny and without them remembering you, and various other benefits."

"Ah."

"It also helps that you are quite attractive, but it is subdued enough so as to not be obvious. That can be useful as well. Going from plain to pretty can be drastic enough on it's own to make you look like a different person, not to mention all the benefits of manipulation and seduction that come from being attractive." The woman murmurs. "Hmm…"

Marianne fidgets under her teacher's scrutiny. The two of them are in the cathedral, and it's late in the afternoon. She was just doing afternoon prayers when the older woman dropped down from the rafters and started talking to her. She's not used to such intense attention… or being called attractive, by anyone.

"I could train you." Byleth says suddenly. "I could teach you to be a spy."

"L-Like Petra?"

"Not quite. I'm training Petra to be an assassin. That's more stealth and killing focused, rather than reconnaissance, infiltration and manipulation focused. I would be teaching you how to listen, how to avoid being noticed even more, and how to abuse people's expectations to become forgettable." She offers.

"I don't think I'm very suited for that Professor."

"I disagree, but it is your choice." The woman says with a shake of her head. "You have potential, and I would love to see you use it for something, even if not for my suggestion."

"I don't want to put anyone else in danger Professor. It's best I don't pursue anything…"

Byleth tilts her head in slight confusion. "How would you put others in danger? Are you violent?"

"No Professor. Merely cursed…"

"I suggest talking to Manuela and Hubert then. Both of them are experts on curses, albeit for different reasons."

Marianne shakes her head. "Not a normal curse, it is my crest."

"Hanneman and Linhardt then… and probably still Manuela and Hubert."

"I-It's not my place to drag others into my problems Professor."

"It's my job to get involved in your problems, Marianne. As it is Manuela and Hanneman's as well." Byleth counters. "Whatever you are worrying about, I can guarantee it is a solvable problem."

Marianne shakes her head again. "It's not so simple…"

"I said…" Byleth says slowly. "I guarantee it. I was not joking. There is no such thing as an unsolvable problem, or in this case, an unbreakable curse."

Marianne falls silent. What is she supposed to say to that?

"You don't believe me." The teacher says calmly. "That's fine. You don't have to believe me immediately. I can wait. When you want to learn how to manipulate people and get rid of curses, we'll be here for you."

"R-Right…"

Byleth leaves, stepping silently across the stone floor. Marianne watches her leave with conflicted feelings. She'd love help, but she knows she shouldn't accept it. She has no right to bring misfortune on anyone else, even if it's for the purpose of them helping her cure her curse.

Feeling disheartened that to let down her professor, she makes her way back to her room.

I expected the Golden Deer to be easy, and some of them were, but some characters like Marianne and Ignatz were quite a spot of trouble. The only part that struck me as really good was Lysithea, though I know I tend to be critical of my own work, so maybe there are more good ones in here than I think.