A/N: Hey peeps, since we have a fair amount of chapters pre-written, you get two chapters a week until further notice. -Ignis Dracorex, Cyrro's Manager.
(PS: he really is. If he didn't set a schedule and remind me to update, I'd update maybe once a month. -Cyrro)
Three Hundred and Fifty Six
Kushina lazily blocks another punch from hitting someone. Not her. No, Nail Polish's punch nearly hit Backpack. For the last hour, the five girls have done nothing but trip over each other, hit each other and separate Backpack from her backpack. Bun and Ribbons try to attack Kushina from behind and collide with a painful bump.
"Seriously, stop getting in my way!" says Ribbons, pushing Bun to the ground.
Up on the observation platform, Naruto is tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth. Kushina wishes she could join him and watch these girls fight amongst themselves. However, she has a job to do, and she must do it.
Mascara pulls out a kunai and throws it at Kushina. However, she manages to throw it so wrongly that the kunai flips around and flies off course, hitting Backpack in the arm, just as she reaches her backpack.
"You guys!" says Backpack, rubbing the bruise on her arm. "Can't you at least let me get my bag?"
"If we don't get our bags, you don't get yours!" snaps Bun, snatching the bag and throwing it up onto the balcony.
"But I keep my weapons in there!" says Backpack. "You just have makeup in your dumb bags!"
Bun, Ribbons, Mascara and Nail Polish turn away from Kushina and descend on Backpack like a flock of vultures. Their attempt to beat her up goes so poorly they end up hitting each other more than Backpack. Backpack curls up in the fetal position while the other four girls alternate between kicking her and hitting each other.
Kushina sticks her hands on her hips in disapproval. These brats are all failing. She heads up to the balcony and sits beside Naruto to watch the unfolding cat fight.
The girls pull each other's hair, mess up each other's make up, attempt to claw each others' eyes out and eventually forget about Backpack. Backpack somehow manages to escape from underneath their feet and belly-crawls to the sidelines.
Deciding to ignore the girls until they are ready to behave like decent human beings, Kushina pulls a hairbrush out of one of her storage seals and starts brushing her hair.
While Kushina is brushing her hair, Backpack climbs over the railing into the observation platform and grabs her precious backpack. She backs away from Kushina with the bag and then sits down to open it. Kushina keeps an eye on the girl while she pulls some ointment out of her bag and starts rubbing it on her cuts and bruises. The brat isn't about to try attacking Kushina in her condition, so Kushina decides to ignore her and watch the catfight.
Things have heated up, with Ribbons attempting to use some ninshu, and the other girls throwing around shuriken and kunai. There is no clear favourite to win, but at this point, Kushina has decided none of these girls are worthy of protecting Naruto. She is not passing anyone.
Backpack knocks her bag over, sending its contents sliding across the floor. "Sorry!" says Backpack, diving after a book and a roll of bandages. Backpack picks up all her items, then proceeds to drop them again because her arms are too full. "Ow!" Backpack touches her arm gingerly. It is swelling up a lot, Kushina notices. It probably got twisted when the other girls were walking on Backpack. Favouring her arm, Backpack shuffles over to Kushina to retrieve a reel of ninja wire. Kushina gets her brush stuck on a knot right as Backpack is picking up the ninja wire. As Backpack is limping away, Kushina realizes the bell is gone.
Kushina drops her hairbrush and pounces on Backpack. She snatches the bell away and holds it up in front of Backpack. "I don't think so, missy," says Kushina. "None of you are passing. I hate all of you. This test is over."
This installment of the Make Out series is awesome. Minato is so engrossed in reading he doesn't have time to counterattack, he just dodges out of the way of Purple's attempts at ninshu and brushes off his kunai like flies. Oooooooo…. Jiraiya isn't holding back in this love scene. Minato blushes and blocks a punch from Purple.
Purple looks over Minato's shoulder sees what he's reading and backs away slowly, turning red. "You're reading p-porn?"
Minato turns his head to glare at Purple. "This is adventure-romance that just happens to have sex scenes. Not porn."
"B-but...t-that's…!"
Yellow shirt appears out of the trees, looking a bit frazzled. Blue is just behind him. Blue stops to check that Green is alright and Yellow stares at Purple in surprise.
"H-he has p-porn!" says Purple, pointing at Minato.
"Again, not porn," says Minato, sighing. "It's just got sex scenes in it, okay? Besides, porn doesn't have a plot this good."
"Listen guys," says Blue calmly. "Questionable literature aside, we cannot beat Minato unless we work together. In order for one of us to get a bell we need to form a plan and attack him all at once."
"As much as I hate to admit it," says Purple, crossing his arms. "You're right. This guy is so strong I don't even think Sei could beat him."
Minato, uses his book to hide his grin. These guys are getting it. He decides to spice things up a bit. "Well, you have to find me if you want to get the bell," he says. "I'll be reading. Later." Minato hiraishins away to find a good spot to read.
Han of the Steam Style sits in his favourite spot overlooking the Hidden Stone and feels lonely. He stands out enough being nearly seven feet tall, not to mention that he is a jinchuuriki. He has worked hard to earn everyone's trust and respect. He gave up on friendship. Even the five tails won't talk to him. At this point they only have each other, so in some ways Han sees the moody tailed beast as his only friend. On the other hand she's always trying to break out and refuses to speak to him or work with him, so she can hardly be called a friend.
Still, at least Han is not completely alone.
Han sits up a little straighter as something on the horizon attracts his attention. A dust cloud, coming towards the village. Han strains his eyes, but all he can see at the head of the cloud is a blur of white. Han watches the strange phenomenon approach the village. As it gets closer, Han makes out people riding horses. Five men and five women. Their horses and clothing are white. The trimmings on their clothing and the horses tack are gold.
Han feels The Five Tails stirring inside his seal. Do you know these people? Han asks her.
Yes, says Five Tails. They are my Guards.
You have Guards? Says Han, surprised. Had you told me, I would have found them. After all, I am lonely.
Five Tails goes very, very quiet.
Will you tell me what your name is now? Asks Han. I do not think your Guards will be too happy if I do not know.
Kokou, says Five Tails. I misjudged you, Han. Shall we start over?
Of course, Kokou. Now let's go and meet your Guards. Han stands and heads down to the village gates. He arrives just as the horses burst through the gates. The come to a stop just in front of Han and rear up on their hind legs and whinny. The horses hooves hit the ground with a thud and they toss their manes. Ten pairs of eyes bore into Han. The five women are wearing riding habits with tailored jackets and long flowing skirts. The men are wearing riding boots with metal spurs, long coats over their shirts and vests, and big cowboy hats.
One of the men takes out a cigar, lights it up and breathes in deeply. "Han of the Steam Style, I take it?" he says.
"Yes, sir," says Han. "Kokou tells me you are her Guards. Welcome to the Hidden Stone."
Kurama and Naruto hold an emergency meeting inside the seal. His parents do not know which one of them the real Naruto is actually watching. Naruto knows, though. The real Naruto is watching Kushina's test and a clone is watching Minato's. Kurama looks down at Naruto, his tails lashing about. Naruto sits down with his legs crossed and thinks hard.
Finally, Kurama says, I did not expect your mother to fail all five girls.
Me neither, says Naruto. They are all kinda lame, but that girl did get the bell.
I'm going to have to over rule Kushina's decision using my supreme authority, Kurama sighs. Let's see...The girl who put ribbons in her hair had some degree of skill, but her attitude is terrible.
Backpack came prepared, points out Naruto. Did you see what she had in her bag? It's a shame she never got to use that brick…
True, muses Kurama. Nail Polish girl did a good job with her nails, but she can't throw a kunai straight to save her life - or mine, for that matter.
Sei did say that none of them have been training for more than a year, says Naruto. But Backpack managed to sneak up on my mum and get the bell.
For five seconds, points out Kurama. But considering she was dealing with Kushina, that is nothing to sneeze at. Now the bun girl is the only one who got close to landing a hit on Kushina. She can at least aim relatively well. However, she has a tendency to go wild and her attitude is poor.
Backpack took a beating and managed to keep going, says Naruto. The other girls have stopped their catfight to cry from the pain.
They have too, says Kurama, trying not to laugh. Mascara is mostly crying because her makeup got smudged all over her face. She is far too concerned with her looks. Oh look, she broke a nail too.
Naruto rolls his eyes. Stop trying to be impartial and just admit Backpack is the only one who even came close to meeting the requirements for the bell test.
Look, I'm trying to be impartial to make up for your mother's total dismissal of everyone. Clearly Backpack is the only one worthy of being my Guard, but the others might have potential if they shape up. And I plan to tell them so! Now when shall we tell Kushina we are hijacking her test?
Once she's calmed down, says Naruto shuddering. And when my dad's present. I don't want to provoke my mum when she's mad like this. She's scarier than Grandma.
No she's not, says Kurama. I'll take Kushina over Kazama any day.