Hey, you. Yes, you. You whom I love very much, where have you been all this time?
The world is so confusing lately. I lost my sight. I lost my purpose. I lost myself without you who guide me back.
And now I am exhausted being the blind man that I am without you.
Since when did he start writing this kind of stuff? He could not remember the last time he writes anything other than for academic matters.
There was a journal on his nightstand, and without thinking, he picked it up. He looked at his past equations. So complicated, so beautiful, and yet so meaningless now. His last remaining sentimentality stopped him from reaping those pages out or was it his fatigue that prevented him from doing so? He cannot differentiate anymore.
He didn't even remember picking up this pen from the drawer. The only thing he remembers is staring emptily on the blank page of his journal before putting these constant repetitive words into writing. He needed them out before they haunted his last remaining sane mind.
Sheldon looked at the empty spot beside him. How many days has it been since the last time he saw Amy?
Amy must have been very busy with her works. She hasn't gone home in weeks.
He missed hearing her voice. Maybe he could call her? He picked up his phone from under the pillow, ignoring all the notifications, and just press Amy's number by memory.
One, two, three, five rings, no one picked up. The only voice he could hear in the bedroom is his ragged breathing.
Amy must be asleep, Sheldon thinks.
Sheldon decided just to go back to sleep, forgetting his half-written journal. Unconsciously, he reached out for the empty spot beside him, hoping for warmth that is his wife but found nothing but a cold empty sheet. He found her pillow though, with her faint smell invading his worries. It was soothing and yet so wrong.
Maybe it was just because of his tiredness, or he just doesn't have anything else to give that he fell asleep immediately after that. The tears have stopped a long time ago but not this painful feeling in his chest. He just wants to sleep because only in his sleep that he does not feel anymore.