Three Hundred and Fifty Three
Madara is taking the second class of the day. That class is history. Iruka told Madara to teach the kids about anything, so he is telling them about the Sage of Six Paths. About half way through Madara's History class, the Hokage walks in with Sasuke's cat on his shoulder. Madara stops talking about the Sage and says, "Hello, Hokage. You do realize having a cat on your shoulder makes you look stupid, right?"
"Hmm, interesting," says the Hokage. "I don't care."
"Well, as long as you know," says Madara, and picks up exactly where he left off.
"Is this in the curriculum?" the Hokage whispers to Iruka.
"Shh, no talking," whispers Iruka, who is holding Ajisai. "And no."
Madara finishes his story and says, "Any questions?"
"I have one," says the Hokage. "Didn't you take kid Number Three home yesterday? Where is it?"
"She's in the new entrant's class," says Madara. "Any questions related to the Sage of Six Paths?"
"If the Sage of Six Paths died a looooooooong time ago," says Burifu, frowning. "How come Naruto and Sasuke met him?"
"They met his ghost."
"Ooooh," says Burifu, nodding. "I met Grandpa's ghost…" she promptly starts crying. Iruka goes over and hugs her.
"My Undead Grandma says she met the Sage of Six Paths's brother!" says Hanabi Hyuuga. "He said he was dead or something, and it was probably the or something. Was the Sage of Six Paths the 'or something' too?"
"Most likely," says Madara.
The sound of screaming children erupts from a nearby classroom. Judging by the direction of the screaming and the pitch of the screams, it is the New Entrants' class. Madara rolls his eyes and asks, "Is that normal?"
"It's too early in the school year to tell," says Iruka, raising an eyebrow. "Some classes have that one student who occasionally causes uncontrollable chaos." A nostalgic expression crosses his face. "And then there was the year we had the Prankster Gang. At least Lord Third made sure there were two in each class, and he had the sense to split up the ring leaders."
The New Entrants' teacher rushes into the room. His clothes smell of rotten eggs and stale tuna. "Madara sensei!" he says. "That kid of yours just set off a stink bomb!"
"Where did she get a stink bomb?" Madara demands.
"I don't know! Is there any way someone could have given her one?" snaps the teacher.
"Well…" Madara thinks about that for a second. Realization hits him. "It must've been that girl we met on the way here this morning. Lucy ran off to chase a cat, and I left Tachi, Ajisai and Sekitei for a couple of minutes while I chased the bloody dog down. When I came back, there was a girl with them. Said her name was Hinata Hyuuga."
Iruka and the Hokage facepalm.
"Oh no…" the New Entrants' teacher sinks to the floor in despair. "Not another one."
"Hinata Hyuuga is one of the ringleaders of the Prankster Gang I just mentioned," says Iruka. "Naruto is the other."
Madara sighs. Uzumakis pranksters are the worst to manage.
And now, he has one in his care. Wonderful.
Kazama sits in her chair, with her cat on her lap, knitting. She has been knitting for a few days now. She started the day Madara came asking for advice on one of his children. She is nearly finished her project: two matching scarves for Minato and Kushina. Kazama is making the scarves to the same pattern as the one she made Naruto last winter. She is using the same colours too, but in different orders. She uses orange, blue, green, yellow, red and brown.
It is almost time for Iruka, Burifu and Kimiko to return from the Academy. Arashi is in his study, working on his latest project: the story of Kaguya, her sons and the Tailed Beasts. He plans to question all nine tailed beasts on the matter, starting with Kurama.
The front door opens and Iruka calls, "We're home!"
The cat puts his head up, flattens his ears against his head and then runs out the window. A moment later, Iruka entres, followed by Kimiko, Burifu, Tachibana, a little girl on crutches and Madara carrying Ajisai. Tachibana is holding Lucy back from running out the window after the cat.
"Hello again, Madara," says Kazama. "I see you have another child. I know the feeling. What's your name, then?" she addresses the little girl. It is hard to tell how old she is because she is so small and scrawny.
"I'm Sekitei!" says the little girl. "What's that?" the girl points to Kazama's knitting.
"Oh, this?" Kazama holds it up. "I'm knitting a scarf."
"What's knitting, and what's a scarf?" Sekitei demands.
Kazama explains and, only a few minutes later, Sekitei is sitting on Kazama's lap, learning how to knit. The girl is uncomfortably light and thin.
Kimiko and Burifu drag Tachibana and Lucy outside to play. Madara and Iruka start going through their students' worksheets. The cat sneaks back in and goes to annoy Arashi. After about half an hour, Kazama lifts Sekitei off her lap and takes her to the kitchen to feed her some muffins and hot chocolate. Iruka summons the other three kids by leaning out the window and saying, "Food!"
That manages to unearth Arashi as well, and soon everyone except the cat and the dog are gathered in the kitchen eating muffins and drinking hot chocolate. Sekitei has never had hot chocolate before, and drinks hers with wide eyes.
The door bangs open and Naruto's voice calls, "I'm home, dattebayo!"
"NARUTO!" Burifu jumps up, slides under the table and dashes into the hallway. A moment later a thud indicates that she tackled Naruto to the ground.
"Who's Naruto?" asks Sekitei.
"My Grandson," says Arashi.
"Hinata's boyfriend," says Iruka. "You met Hinata earlier remember?"
"Oh yes! She gave me those cool stink bombs I set off in class."
"Oh dear," says Kazama, laughing. "It seems the Prankster Gang is recruiting."
"Wow," says Sekitei, staring at Arashi wonderingly. "You actually know who your Grandson is."
"Er...yes…" Arashi frowns. "Most men know who their children and grandchildren are. It's just the Order of Joe that doesn't."
"Oooooh."
Naruto struts into the kitchen with Burifu attached to his back. Just behind him are two youths in identical clothing. The girl looks about 17 and is covered in bruises. The boy looks about 21. Bringing up the rear is a strangely ethereal-looking man with pale skin that seems to shimmer red. He has long, dark red hair with two black streaks in his hair, just above his ears. He has red eyes with vertical slits for pupils, and fangs sticking out of his top jaw. He is dressed almost identical to the Guards, although the nine sections on the bottom of his tunic taper to points at the ends.
"Hey, what's Uncle Madara doing here?" says Naruto. "And who are those kids, and where did that baby come from?"
"Madara is looking after the children from the Order of Joe," explains Iruka. "He's also giving me a hand teaching my class. This is Tachibana, this is Sekitei and the baby's name is Ajisai."
The strange man laughs. "This was your idea, wasn't it, brat?"
"Yes it was," says Iruka. "How did you get out?"
"We have the key now," says the man shrugging. "Don't you dare try to summon me, Madara."
"Of course not," says Madara. "I have a dragon for a summon now."
"Who is this?" asks Kazama, wondering how Iruka and Madara know this guy.
"This is Kurama," says Naruto. "We figured out how to split him in half so that half of him stays inside the seal to-"
"Stop Naruto from getting himself killed," finishes Kurama, grinning. "This half of me is going to train these two." He pats the two youths on their shoulders. "These two are my new Guards. They've had bugger-all training, so they are Junior Guards until I'm done with them."
"That's lovely," says Kazama, proffering the plate of muffins. "Have a muffin."
"Don't mind if I do," says Kurama, taking a muffin and sitting down.
The two new guards take a muffin each and sit down. After Kazama prompts them, they introduce themselves. The boy is Kon, and the girl is Fukuro.
Naruto grabs a muffin and sits down as well. Burifu jumps onto his lap. "When did you decide to train Blue and Backpack?" Naruto asks Kurama.
"At the exact moment your mother asked me not to cause too much havoc," says Kurama. "We three are going on a road trip together. We will visit my stupid siblings so these two can meet the other Bijuu Guards, and cause as much havoc as possible."
"My name is not Backpack!" protests Fukuro, glaring at Naruto.
"And my name is not Blue!" protests Kon, who is actually named after a specific shade of blue.
"Yes, and Naruto is not named Ramen Topping," says Kurama. "Suck it up."