Three Hundred and Fifty One.
"Peace out, suckers!" says Dark Kurama, walking away from the village gates and making rude gestures over his shoulder. "I won't miss you at all!"
"Later Kurama!" says Naruto, waving cheerfully. "Have fun, 'tebayo."
"Oh, I have a bad feeling about this," frets Kushina.
"Go, you two!" says Sei, shoving Kon and Fukuro out the gates. "He can't train you if you stay behind."
"I'm not sure I want to go…" says Kon nervously.
Kurama grins and calls over his shoulder, "Come on, sidekicks! We have the entire Elemental Nations to explore, and less than a year left to explore them!"
Kon and Fukuro run after him, their backpacks bouncing. Kon has a small bag with only the bare essentials. Fukoro has her backpack stuffed with anything and everything she could fit into it.
"So where are we going first?" asks Fukuro, once she catches up.
"The Valley of End," says Kurama. "There's something I've been wanting to do for a long time."
"When do we start training?" asks Kon.
"Whenever and wherever I decide it's lesson time is when we will train," says Kurama. "Speaking of which... Lesson One: How to run really fast through the trees like a ninja." Kurama takes off through the trees at high ninja speed.
Kon and Fukuro freak out and run after him, but fail to keep up. Kurama stops and waits for them to catch up. They arrive about half an hour later, out of breath and on the forest floor.
"Well, I guess we're going to have to start at the beginner level," says Kurama. "Come on," he says. "Up the tree, now."
Fukuro and Kon climb the tree the old fashioned way. When they are on his branch, Kurama says, "See that branch?" He points to a branch on the next tree over.
"Yeah?" Says Kon, uncertainly.
"Uh, huh." Fukuro looks worried.
"Jump to it," says Kurama. "Gather up some chakra and jump, like so." he demonstrates.
"Isn't that closer to ninjutsu, though?" asks Kon.
"For things like this, it does not matter whether it's ninjutsu or ninshu," says Kurama shrugging. "Now jump to me."
Both try their hardest and both face plant in the dirt. "Try again," says Kurama.
They do, and the result is no better. After an hour and a half of failed attempts, Kurama decides he needs to give them some incentive to learn faster. This is taking far too long. Kurama ninshuus up some water and drenches the pair. "Just jump from that branch to this branch! It's not hard!"
Groaning, his two sidekicks pulls themselves to their feet and climb back up the tree. They try again and again for the next half hour, with Kurama drenching them after every failed attempt. Finally, Kon lands on the branch beside Kurama.
Then he falls right off the other side. Kurama facepalms and mutters, "Well, that's a start, I suppose." Then he drenches the boy again and says, "Try again, and this time stay on the branch."
After another five attempts, he finally gets it.
Meanwhile Fukuro is still trying and failing miserably. Eventually, she also makes it to the next branch. However, she manages to stay on the branch by grabbing onto it on her way down and clinging to it like a sloth.
"That's still not good enough," says Kurama, drenching her anyway. "Try again. And you!" he turns to Kon. "Jump to that branch." He points to a nice branch the next tree over.
Kon attempts to jump to the next branch while Fukuro attempts to jump to and stay on the branch Kurama is perched on. He materializes his tails so he can whip them back and forth in annoyance and frustration.
Kon makes it to the next branch on just 13 attempts, and Fukuro manages to stay on Kurama's branch after another seven attempts. Kurama jumps to the next branch and orders Fukuro to join him. Then he tells Kon to just keep going in the same direction. He'll catch up later.
Not that Kon manages to even leave Kurama's sight. He does the smart thing and starts taking it slow so that he can judge the distance better. Fukuro eventually figures out the whole taking your time thing as well, and makes much better progress. Kurama still drenches them both after every failed attempt.
Around mid afternoon, they finally reach the Valley of End. Kurama stands at the top of the waterfall and surveys the valley. It's been a while since he helped form this valley. His side kicks fall to the grass groaning. The fragile humans are covered in bruises.
"Can we stop for food?" asks Kon.
Kurama realizes he forgot to feed his sidekicks and feels a stab of guilt. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" he demands, glaring at them. "I don't eat. Food is the one thing I NEVER think about. If you two are hungry, tell me." And, for good measure, he drenches them again.
Shivering and miserable, Kon and Fukuro dig around in their bags for some dry clothes and some food. At least they had the sense to bring water proof bags. Once the pair is dry and fed, they curl up in the grass and go to sleep.
Kurama sighs. Fragile humans. He sits down in the grass beside them. Then he gets bored of waiting for them to wake up and goes to sleep himself.
They wake up when night falls. Kon builds a fire and cooks a stew. Fukuro digs around in her backpack for some rope, then strings up the rope between two trees. Once the rope is secure, she hangs their wet clothes over it to dry. Kurama watches them with interest. They might have no fighting or shinobi training, but they certainly know how camping works.
Once his sidekicks have eaten, Kurama tells them to go back to sleep.
"Shouldn't someone keep watch?" asks Kon nervously.
"I will," says Kurama. He can still sense everything in a 100 kilometer radius when he's asleep, after all. And sleep he does, after the humans are fast asleep on their bedrolls.
The sunrise wakes up the humans. Kurama doesn't care. He's seen a great many sunrises, so he ignores their excitement and goes back to sleep. Apparently it's a beautiful red sunrise. That means bad weather later, or something.
Once the sunrise is over, Kurama's sidekicks cook themselves breakfast. Kurama doesn't need to eat, so he pretends to sleep a bit longer. His sidekicks are content to let him. Once they have eaten their breakfast, the pair leaves their bags by the remains of the campfire and explores the area.
"Wow, I've only heard about these statues," says Kon, staring down at the massive statues of Hashirama and Madara. "They are so much bigger than I imagined."
"Woah," is all Fukuro says.
Kurama decides now would be a good time to wake up and get on with the reason he wanted to come here. He gets up and heads over to where the siblings are precariously perched on the edge of the cliff, trying to look down at the statues.
"The view is better at the bottom," says Kurama. "Jump down and have a better look."
"Jump…?" says Kon.
"...You mean, over the waterfall?" says Fukuro.
"Exactly," says Kurama.
"No…" says Kon, backing away from the waterfall with a frightened expression on his face.
"I don't want to…" whimpers Fukuro, backing away too. "I'm too scared."
"Oh, so you're both too scared?" says Kurama, grabbing them both. "Well I guess it's time for Lesson Two: Fearlessness!" And with that, he tosses them both over the waterfall. "And Lesson Three: How to survive falling over a waterfall!"
And then Kurama does what he came here to do: he jumps over the waterfall, tucks his knees up to his chest and yells, "CANNONBALL!"
Kurama lands at the bottom with a resounding splash that sends torrents of water into the air, reaching as high as the statues' waists. Kon and Fukuro scream as they are tossed up onto the river bank. They are both completely fine.
Kurama climbs out of the river and pulls his sidekicks to their feet. "Come on, let's do it again."