THE ROOM spun around aimlessly, and the newly-painted walls swirled around her in disorienting cerulean that drowned her slowly, inevitably.

She stood there, her body buckling under the overwhelming pressure, and her feet started to feel numb beneath her. Frozen in place by the window, the breeze outside was her only reminder that she was very much awake. The heartrending confession, simple yet piercing, seemed to reverberate from the walls. She tried to snap out of it, failing yet again to forget his words.

"I have a friend whom I've known for a long time. But I started to like her. If I tell her how I feel, things might get a little awkward. But if I chicken out again and not tell her, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. What should I do?"

Song-hwa slowly slumped to the floor. Hugging her knees to her chest, she closed her eyes and allowed a single tear to slip through. She hadn't even finished unpacking her boxes! Everything was just too much, all too much. All these years, she never knew that a few words stringed purposefully together would bring a million realizations to light.

What should she do?

She could still remember when he had first announced his marriage back then. They were getting ready for band practice, and she was doing her best to sing much better that night. It was the night when she'd finally tell him how deeply she cared for him, to tell him how she truly felt and if they could be more. She can't believe how long it took her to accept her feelings, how long it took her to open up her heart to him. She was finally ready.

He came into the room, his hands clasped gingerly in front of him. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the silver band wrapped around his ring finger. The silver band, burning its way in her memory, stunned her almost immediately. She remembered how the room went hauntingly silent for a few seconds as they waited for Ik-jun to deliver the punch line. She glanced at Ik-jun, silently hoping for him to run up to them, let out that mischievous chuckle of his, and admit that he was only messing with them. Instead, his beaming smile grew wider, which could only mean one thing: there was no punchline.

Ah, the smile on his face was a hallmark of pure bliss, of utter excitement. His voice was laced with bubbling joy that she could have sworn was only heard on rare occasions. His eyes shone with incandescent happiness that she bitterly wished were because of her. She took one, last glance at him, breathed in heavily, and grinned.

"Congratulations Ik-jun!"

Mustering up the last bit of courage she had left, she called the group for a photo together to celebrate this life-changing announcement.

The ceremony was beautiful, as it was taken out from an obscure, picturesque fairytale. As he stood in front of the girl whom he vowed to spend the rest of his life with, she watched from afar. She watched him with eyes that shone brightly through unabashed tears that stained her cheeks. Jeong-won was quick to catch on, and gently nudged her before handing her his handkerchief.

'Why are you crying? Is something wrong,' Jeong-won whispered to her, his eyes not leaving the wedding scene.

'Don't worry,' she hushed. 'I'm always emotional at weddings.'

And as Song-hwa watched Ik-jun profess his undying love for his soon-to-be-wife, she felt her heart sink with each word he uttered. She began to accept that Ik-jun was never a sure thing for her when it came to love. As friends, they were inseparable; their bond together was too important, invaluable to put on the line. She was finally coming to terms with the glaringly, obvious answer to all her what-ifs. Life has finally given her the shove she needed to move on. Despite all this, a hidden part of her murmured a vow of its own.

'I will love you no matter where you go and who you see,'

'I will love you if you don't marry me.'

Song-hwa shut her eyes to the memories that came rushing back. There was a reason she had decided to distance herself, to move to this branch. For her, this was her way of self-preservation. This was her means of recuperating, both physically and mentally. As if on cue, the ocean breeze felt flush against her cheek. She took in a deep breath, basking in the air's saltiness that welcomed her. Like magic, her mind began to slowly unravel the ball of emotions she had experienced earlier.

She knew what she had to tell Ik-jun. She thought back again on her past actions, and decided her past decision was only right. Time and chance had not been kind to them over the years. Had there ever been a so-called 'right timing' for her and Ik-jun? Long years mixed with different stages of heartbreak, longing, and acceptance seemed to say otherwise. It felt like the world had cruelly hearkened the past to inch its way back into her heart: starting with the revival of their band, and now… this.

Brushing off the inconspicuous specks of dust on her clothes, she walked towards the remaining, unpacked boxes. She had much time to mull this over. Yet, her heart pulsated with an irregular beat that declared a definite answer. She mumbled a prayer, wishing the heavens could reassure her that she was right about this.

Maybe this move was a blessing in disguise. Maybe there was no such thing as the right timing for a relationship. Maybe this was just life's way of checking on her, making sure that all of her messy feelings were a thing of the past. Deep down, she knew Ik-jun was an irreplaceable part of her life, and hardly anything that could come in between them. He would always be her first love. He would still be the person whose company she enjoys the most, whose jokes never fail to make her laugh. He would always be her greatest what-if, but she knew that the world had already supplied her with the answer she needed since that day in the wedding hall.

She hoped Ik-jun would understand. After all, he always has.

'I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another,

where once we were so close...'

'I will love you if I never see you again,

and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.'

.

.

.

'That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.'

A/N: This was inspired from an excerpt from "The Beatrice Letters" by Lemony Snicket. I came across it a few weeks ago, and just felt like it was made for Ik-jun and Song-hwa. I haven't written a fic in four looong years so please bear with me!