A/N Hi guys! I'm so sorry it's been so long since an update. I love TBC so much and love my story and have so much fun writing it. Long story short, I've been dealing with some health issues that I THOUGHT were the flu but turned out to be something much more serious. I'm not feeling 100% today either, but I've been feeling better and wanted to write while I was inspired.
As usual, PLEASE REVIEW. Not hearing what people think is so discouraging for a writer, trust me. No news is NOT good news when it comes to reviews lol.
Don't you even care
Just the slightest little bit for me
'Cause I really need to feel you cared
Even once upon a time for me
I need to believe
In my heart of heart of hearts, you care for me
I need to understand
Why you left me there so helplessly
Don't you even care
Care at all for me?
Reflections of your love have come to wither
I thought I'd done my best to memorize
-Reflections, Mariah Carey
Four months.
Four months and five days. That's how long Andrew Clark had dreamed of getting Allison Reynolds alone, of talking to her and telling her how much he cared about her and needed her, and wanted her back. That's how long he'd gone thinking that he'd never be alone with her again.
And now here she was, at his house, on his porch, standing on the other side of his door, looking as vulnerable as she'd been when she came out of that room after Claire's makeover.
"Hi," Andy said softly. He knew better by now than to get his hopes up. She was probably just here because Brian had opened his big mouth and she wanted to offer him the exact pity he didn't want.
Allison didn't respond. She just stood there staring at him as if she were trying to get some kind of read on him.
Finally Andy remembered to "mind his manners", as his mother was always on his back to do, whenever she made time for him. "Um, come on in," he said, stepping back so she could walk past him.
Andy sat down on his couch in the living room, while Allison stood, clutching her bag, and staring around the room and then at Andy.
"How have you been, Allison?" Andy asked. "You can sit down, you know."
Her eyes landed on him again, and she finally sat on the opposite end of the couch from Andrew.
Andy was never one who could handle awkward silences well, but he knew better than to push. Besides, Allison had some nerve treating him like she did, and then just showing up at his house like this. If she was expecting him to speak first—to make whatever this was, easy for her, she was sadly mistaken.
"Where is everyone? Your brothers, your dad?" she finally asked, barely audibly.
"Everyone's out. Girlfriends, and all." That one hurt. Andy was never good at hiding his emotions. He realized the implications of what he'd said, and then quickly tried to change the subject. "I just got in from work," he said.
Allison just nodded. After a few more minutes of silence, Allison blew on her bangs and looked over at Andy with that penetrating look of hers, "Are you alright, Andrew?" she asked, with tears in her eyes.
And that was when Andrew knew he'd been right about at least one thing. Brian had definitely told at least part of the secret Andrew had been keeping from everyone else.
The last thing he needed or wanted right now was Allison's pity. "Allison," he began, in a tone she hadn't heard him use pretty much since detention, "why are you here?" he asked.
He regretted it almost immediately. Allison practically cowered back. As if she regretted coming. At that was when Andrew remembered why he'd fallen for Allison in the first place. For the first time in a long time, he saw her as the vulnerable, emotional, artistic soul who had captivated him from the moment she slammed her way into that library.
"I'm sorry." Andy said,"that was rude. It's just that you haven't really wanted anything to do with me, since…well…and now you're here. It's…kind of unexpected."
Allison blew on her hair again. "I made a mistake," she said.
"What?"
"I made a mistake," she repeated, more confidently.
"What are you talking about?"
"I didn't mean to hurt you. At the end of the school year, I mean."
"Oh." Andy said, not knowing what Allison was really trying to say. "I don't really want to talk about this, Allison. It's over."
But that selfish streak in Allison wouldn't let her stop. "I was stupid. I didn't even want to break up with you."
This was news to Andy. "So why did you?" he asked, almost accusatory.
"Because I was afraid that if I didn't, I would ruin your life."
Andy got that confused look that Allison found so adorable. "Ruin my life? What do you mean?"
"I didn't want to make you choose between me and your friends, or wrestling and your friends. I thought that, if I didn't break up with you, you might start doing things like alienate your friends and get in trouble and risk your scholarship."
Andrew was starting to understand now. "So you broke up with me, because you thought you were protecting me?"
Allison nodded, suddenly shy. "After everything you said in detention, the last thing I wanted to do was be another problem for you. And after I heard about your friends and how much they didn't like the fact that you were dating me, I thought that maybe it'd be easier if I weren't in the picture."
"So you made the decision to end things without asking me if I even cared about that stuff. You didn't even give me a chance to make the decision between you and my friends for myself, or even talk to me about how you felt. You just made the decision for me. Even though you were the one who reamed me out for not being able to think for myself. You took away my chance to do just that."
Allison had tears in her eyes again. She hadn't thought of it that way, until just now. As much grief as she'd given Andy about thinking for himself and making his own decisions, she'd taken control and made the choice between her and wrestling, and her and his friends, for him without him even knowing there was a problem to begin with.
She said the only thing she could think to say, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
Andy was still furious. "I can't believe this. I've spent the past four months trying to figure out what went wrong between us. I never would have thought it was this. I thought I'd done something wrong."
"I'm sorry. I wish I had never done it." Allison repeated.
Andy finally looked back at her. "So, you came all the way over here to finally tell me that after all this time."
Allison shook her head, looking down at her shoes.
"Then, what? What is it?"
"I came here because… because I thought maybe we could forget it ever happened, and…and…"
"And, what, Allison?"
"Get back together." She finally said in that soft voice of hers.
And there it was. The words that Andrew had been wanting to hear for so long. The words he'd started to think he'd never hear, and spent a lot of time convincing himself he'd never hear.
"You want to get back together?" he asked, not wanting to believe his ears.
Allison nodded. "If you can forgive me. That was a totally shitty thing I did, and you're right that it was controlling and I didn't let you think for yourself. Maybe I should just leave and-"
And that was all she could manage to say before Andy had advanced upon her and was kissing her as if he were afraid she'd disappear and he'd never see her again.
It baffled Allison that he could go from being so angry with her, to making out with her, in less than a minute. It let Allison know for sure that he'd been just as miserable without her as she'd been without him.
Finally he let her go. Trying to hide a smile, he said, "It's getting late. I should probably get you home now."
Allison smirked that smirk Andy had missed so much. "Okay, Sporto," was all she said.