Two Hundred and Forty Nine
Naruto is happy to be back home after about two months of training on the road with Pervy Sage. He enjoys his Mum's home cooking, gets jumped by Burifu and followed around by Kimiko. Then, after telling everyone about some of the things he and Jiraiya got up to, Naruto went to bed and slept like a log until morning.
The next morning he wakes to the sound of the Sparkies chirping their morning song in the tree outside his window. Naruto jumps out of bed and throws open his bedroom window. When he sees the Sparkies, Naruto's eyes widen and his noisy greeting dies on his lips. "Sparky...Mrs. Sparky...You're…" a grin slowly spreads across Naruto's face and he climbs out the window and into the tree. Naruto inches closer, but not too close. The Sparkies are watching him with unusually territorial expressions on their faces. When Naruto is close enough to get a good look, but not close enough to touch, he whispers, "How much longer until your eggs hatch?"
Sparky puffs out his chest and squawks something.
Any day now, Kurama translates.
"Wow, little baby Sparkies!" whispers Naruto. "They're gonna be so cute, 'tebayo!"
Both Sparkies puff up proudly.
Then Naruto hears a tapping sound. The Sparkies turn to their eggs and then back away a bit to sit beside the nest. Naruto sees three flame-coloured eggs sitting in the nest. One of them has a crack forming in the side as the baby phoenix inside taps on the inside, trying to get out. One of the other eggs begins to rock, and then it too begins to crack from the inside. The third egg is not far behind, and soon all three eggs are rocking and cracking. Naruto watches in awe as the three baby phoenixes break out of their shells and emerge, all slimy and gross, with helpless cries.
"Wow…" whispers Naruto, still very much in awe.
Peanut wakes up Sasuke by tugging on her hair. "What do you want?" grumbles Sasuke, wondering why there is a heavy weight on her legs when the cat is by her head. Maybe it's Eizo. Sasuke lifts her head to see. There is a cat giving birth on her lap.
"AGAIN?" shouts Sasuke. Then she turns to glare at Peanut. "Is this your girlfriend? You're barely a year old, for goodness's sake! Just because you were born on my lap, it doesn't mean you can bring your lady here to have her kittens on my lap!"
Peanut hisses at Sasuke and smacks her shoulder with his paw.
The female cat makes a pitiful noise and births her second kitten. Peanut jumps over to his mate and licks the top of her head.
"I should've got him neutered," Sasuke mutters.
Peanut hisses at her again and sinks his claws into her leg.
Sasuke's mother knocks on her door and says, "Is everything alright in there, Sasuke?"
"No!" says Sasuke. "Peanut has a girlfriend and he brought her in here."
Mikoto opens Sasuke's bedroom door and sees what is happening. She takes in the sight of the skinny, dirty, tabby and white stray giving birth on top of Sasuke. She observes Peanut fussing around his mate. She sees how stressed and annoyed Sasuke is. Finally, Mikoto walks over to Sasuke's bed and sits down beside the two young cats. "Don't move, Sasuke," says Mikoto. "Just leave them to it. And try to calm down."
Sasuke sinks back onto her pillow with a frustrated sigh. How is she supposed to calm down with a cat having babies on top of her?
"Fugaku!" Mikoto calls softly.
A moment later, Fugaku appears in Sasuke's bedroom doorway. He sees what is happening and says, "Well I'll be damned."
"Can you take Peanut elsewhere?" Mikoto asks. "He's not helping - he's just getting excited."
"Of course," says Fugaku. He crosses the room in a second, scoops up Peanut and carries him out of the room saying, "Let's go get your Mrs. some food and a nice bed to nurse the kittens in. That will be much more helpful than hissing at Sasuke."
Peanut responds by hissing at Fugaku.
"None of that!" says Fugaku sternly. "You are a parent now, you'd better start acting more mature."
Peanut's Mrs. mews pitifully.
"It's alright," says Mikoto soothingly. "They'll be back soon. You just focus on having your babies." Mikoto gently strokes the stray. Soon the third kitten is born, and then the fourth. That seems to be all, as the stray starts to clean up the four slimy babies.
Soon after the fourth kitten is born, Fugaku returns with a tray, some newspapers, a bag of kitty litter, a box and an old rug. Peanut is sitting on his shoulder, mewing anxiously and Eizo-Mori trails along behind. Eizo helps Fugaku set up the litter tray and line the box with the rug, making a cozy cat bed. They arrange the new additions to Sasuke's room on the floor beside her bed. Peanut jumps down off Fugaku's shoulder and inspects the new cat furniture. Fugaku leaves Peanut with Eizo and heads out of the room again. He soon returns with two bowls, a towel, a tin of cat food and a jug of water. How he balances it all, Sasuke does not know. Fugaku lays down the towel, places the bowls on top and then, at Eizo's insistence, lets the little boy fill one with water and the other with cat food.
Peanut jumps back up onto Sasuke's bed and investigates his kittens. He nudges them with his nose and licks their heads, and then rubs his head against his mate's head. His mate is more interested in making sure all four kittens find her nipples so they can get some milk. Fugaku removes Peanut again, telling him to stop getting in the way.
"Obviously we have to keep her," says Mikoto, stroking the stray. "We can't toss her out with a newborn litter of kittens."
Fugaku sighs. "At least it's cats and not some random kid from the forest…"
"I know!" Says Mikoto, smiling. "We'll call her Butter. Peanut and Butter."
Sasuke rolls her eyes.
"...and then the eggs hatched right then," says Naruto, finishing up his account of that morning's adventure. "They are so cute, 'tebayo."
"I wondered how many eggs there were," says Minato, pouring maple syrup over his pancakes because he prefers them that way over having them with soup. "The Sparkies haven't let anyone near that tree since they started building their nest.
"Wow, really?" says Naruto. "They must really like me, then!"
"Yes, they really must," says Kazama, also pouring maple syrup on her pancakes.
Minato wonders when Naruto is going to remember that it's his birthday - the only reason Jiraiya actually brought him back to the Leaf the previous day. Kushina isn't going to bring it up because she's still annoyed that Naruto said she'd put on weight. Arashi isn't even up yet and Kazama seems happy enough to not bring the topic up just yet. She is probably waiting for Minato and Kushina to take the lead.
Baby phoenixes are exciting and all, but Minato is sure they will see plenty more.
"I feel like I've forgotten something important because I'm so excited about the baby Sparkies," says Naruto, scratching his head thoughtfully.
"Yes you have, 'tebane," says Kushina, irritably tearing off a piece of her pancake and aggressively dunking it in her soup.
Before Naruto can ask what he's forgotten, Burifu bursts into the kitchen in her pyjamas, her hair in a mess and a massive grin on her face. She leaps at Naruto, knocking him off his chair and tackling him to the floor. "Happy Birthday." she says, a bit too aggressively. "You are going to have a good day, got it?!"
"Yes, Burifu," says Naruto, nodding. He sounds a little scared. Then he realizes. "That's right, it's my birthday!"
"It's about time you remembered," says Kazama.
Minato pulls a birthday present out of one of his storage seals and hands it to Naruto. "Happy Birthday. I guess this is the first birthday present I've actually given you."
"That's if you don't count Kurama," says Kazama.
Naruto gets up off the floor, causing Burifu to fall to the floor with a bump. Naruto tears open the present and then stops, a little confused. In one hand he has a t-shirt that says "big brother" and in the other hand he has a baby onsie that says "little brother". Naruto looks from one to the other in confusion.
Minato, Kushina and Kazama wait.
"But...I haven't got a little brother...have I?" Naruto says, very unsure.
"I'm not fat, you dumbass," says Kushina savagely. "I'm pregnant with the little brother you asked for, dattebane!"
Minato is sure the people on the other side of the village can hear Naruto's yell of joy.