Two Hundred and Nineteen.
"Is your seat comfortable?" Iruka asks Mei. "Do you need another pillow?"
"I'm fine," says Mei, her hand on her stomach. "What I would really like is a shoulder massage."
"Your wish is my command," says Iruka, and starts giving Mei a shoulder massage.
"Does he need to be here?" asks the Raikage, from his chair beside the Mizukage's.
"His daughter is in the tournament," says the Hokage, from his chair on the far side of the Raikage.
The Raikage looks down from the special viewing area where the Kages who have genin participating in the chunin exams are seated to look at the candidates. "There are four girls in the tournament," he says. "The one from my village, the Mizukage's kid, the girl from Akatsuki and the Leaf girl. But the Leaf girl looks too old to be his daughter."
"She's my apprentice," says Iruka.
"So that means you screwed the Mizukage," says A, sighing. He looks at Mei's massive belly. "I'm assuming you're responsible for that too?"
"Yes I am," says Iruka, his chest swelling with pride.
Nagato arrives in a hurry and sits down in his seat on the other side of Mei. "I'm not too late, am I?"
"No, the tournament starts in about five minutes," says Mei.
Killer Bee, who was behind the Raikage helping C stand guard, runs past Mei and Iruka, slips between Mei's guards and plants herself on Nagato's lap. "Hey," she says, dripping buckets of sweetness out of that one word.
Nagato goes about seven different shades of red in quick succession and then says, "...hi."
Bee gets comfortable and sits back to watch the chunin exam finals.
Iruka sees A actively trying to let it go.
Then Nagato puts his arms around Bee, and A powers up. A moment later, Nagato is up against the wall in a stranglehold and Bee is sitting on Nagato's chair looking slightly confused.
"Are you dating my sister?" A demands.
"You know what, yes," says Nagato.
Bee's whole face lights up. "Let's go out for dinner after this!"
"You aren't going anywhere!" snaps A.
Nagato effortlessly breaks A's stranglehold and says, "She is."
A must've seen or felt something Iruka did not, because he backs down and returns to his seat. Nagato brushes himself off, walks calmly back to his seat, picks up Bee, sits down and places her back on his lap. "Ah good," he says. "They are beginning now."
"Alright, everyone!" Obito's voice booms around the stadium. He is wearing his favourite orange mask. "I am Rain, and I will be your host for the Chunin Exam Finals! These eight talented young shinobi are your finalists. Representing the Hidden Rain we have Team Akatsuki. On that team we have: Lord Nagato's apprentice, Namiko Terumi, the Mizukage's daughter; and Suigetsu Hozuki; and Haku, the newest members of Akatsuki."
The crowd cheers. Mist and Rain ninjas alike unite in their support for those three. Some people from the Leaf (Minato, Iruka, Kazama, Arashi) cheer too. They all came to support Namiko. Kushina stayed in the Leaf with Kimiko and Burifu. The two girls still need to go to school, and Kushina does not want to travel until after she's had the baby. Minato came along and used the Hiraishin to transport Mei directly from the Hidden Mist to the Village Leaders' viewing area.
Iruka wonders how his Academy Class is getting along without him. He left Madara in charge. Madara demanded to know what in Kaguya's name he is supposed to teach a room full of brats - it's not like he actually knows the curriculum. Iruka told him to teach them anything he likes. Hopefully he doesn't brainwash them.
"Next up we have the team from the Hidden Cloud," continues Obito. "They are down a member, leaving us with just Karui and Omoi."
"Yeah! You fools better not lose!" says Bee.
The Cloud ninjas in the crowd cheer heartily.
"And from the Hidden Leaf!" Obito says. "We have Team Gai: Rock Lee, Tenten Senju and Neji Hyuga!"
The crowd roars its approval.
"Rain is really working that crowd," The Raikage says.
"He is," says Nagato. "Why do you think we picked him?" Then he mutters, "Where are Yahiko and Konan? They should be here by now."
"They are sitting with Minato, Arashi and Kazama," says Iruka. "They know you can protect yourself."
"Alright, the first match is going to be a good one!" says Obito. "Neji Hyuuga of the Leaf VS Omoi of the Cloud! Could all the other contestants go to the waiting area, please?"
The other contestants leave the arena, and Neji and Omoi face each other. Obito holds a hand high over his head. "First match: BEGIN!"
There are children standing behind him again. Madara does not know how much more of this he can take. Iruka's class sniffed out his weakness as soon as the man walked out of the village to go to the chunin exam finals. They have collectively made it their mission to stand or walk behind Madara as much as possible. Even Tachibana is part of this madness, the traitor.
Now what to do about it?
"Get back to your target posts," says Madara. Giggling, the brats run back to their target posts and continue throwing shuriken. That done, Madara turns his attention back to correcting Udon's rubbish shuriken throwing - something Iruka has been trying to do for a long time. The boy really is a slow learner.
"Madara sensei!" yells Konohamaru.
Madara turns to see what he wants. "Yes, Konohamaru?"
"Sexy jutsu!" Konohamaru transforms into a mostly-naked woman with a body and body language that would not be out of place in a porn magazine.
"There are children present," says Madara, raising an eyebrow. "I am sure such images are adults only."
Konohamaru ends the jutsu with a pop. "WHY doesn't this jutsu work on you?!" he yells pointing an accusing finger at Madara. "Naruto says the stronger the opponent, the more effective it is!"
"Maybe your jutsu is too weak to affect me," says Madara.
"Then I will IMPROVE!" yells Konohamaru. "I will defeat you, sensei!"
"Can you dance?" asks Madara.
"No," says Konohamaru.
"Then you can't defeat me," says Madara, crossing his arms. "When I fight, I dance the Dance of Death."
"Then I must learn to dance so I can learn your weaknesses!" Konohamaru gets all fired up.
Madara only has two weaknesses. Speaking of which, some kid is trying to sneak up behind him. "Alright then, classes for the rest of the day are cancelled."
"Yay!" the students cheer.
"...and I'm replacing them with dancing lessons."
"WHYYYYYYY!? NOOOOO! AWWWW!"
"YES!" Burifu claps her hands together in excitement. "What kind of dancing?"
Madara grins and tells her.
As soon as Rain begins the match, Neji activates his byakugan. He sights, aims, and Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms the breakfast out of Omoi.
"Neji wins!" declares Rain, as Omoi rolls on the floor groaning and coughing up his cereal.
Neji helps Omoi to the contestant's waiting area to watch Lee's match against Karui. They pass Lee and Karui on their way up the stairs.
"What did you have to go and lose for?" Karui demands as she passes.
"Neji is an incredibly strong genius!" says Lee. "Of course he won!"
"You better win too, Lee," says Neji. "I want at least one proper fight in this tournament."
Neji and Omoi head up to the contestants' area and sit down to watch the match.
"Here come the next two fighters!" declares Rain, spreading his arms wide. "Rock Lee of the Hidden Leaf and Karui of the Hidden Cloud. Will the Hidden Cloud take this victory and advance to the second round, or will the Leaf win their second match? Let's find out! BEGIN!"
Immediately, Karui charges up a lightning jutsu of some description. Lee ducks under the bolts of electricity and kicks Karui into the air the way he kicks many an enemy on missions. Karui flies into the seating area, near where Naruto's family is sitting.
"Rock Lee wins by ring out!" announces Rain, raising a hand high in the air.
"NO!" weeps Lee, his eyes filling with empassioned tears. "I underestimated my own strength and lost out on a good fight! This is not what youth is about!"
Neji face palms. They should've practiced fighting inside a ring so that this didn't happen.