One Hundred and Fifty Eight.
Anko is on her way to help out at Mikoto's Daycare. Apparently the Hokage did not appreciate it when Anko kidnaped Eizo-Mori off Ibiki and fed the brat a ton of sugar. Her sentence? Help Mikoto look after a bunch of shinobi kids whose parents are out of town or busy.
It could be worse. It could be D Ranks for a week.
Looking after ninja brats for a week will, at the very least, be interesting. Anko has orders from Ibiki to keep an eye out for potential T&I recruits.
As Anko is passing the Academy, she sees Konohamaru trying to sneak up on Madara. (According to Kinoko, Madara has an Eight Pack, but Anko doesn't believe her.)
"MADARA SENSEI!" yells Konohamru.
Madara sighs and turns to look at the boy. "This better not be another weak Jutsu."
"Sexy Jutsu!" says Konohamaru, and transforms into a rather...explicit representation of Lady Tsunade.
Madara raises an eyebrow. "Tsunade this time? Are you going to go through every single woman in the entire village?"
Konohamru changes back to his normal self. "But I thought since she's closer to your age…"
"She was a baby when I knew her, you know."
"Dammit. Well...um...TRY THIS! SEXY JUTSU!" This time, Konohamaru transforms into Anko, but naked and posing suggestively.
Madara blushes furiously and slaps Konohamaru so hard it breaks the jutsu. "That's enough of that!"
Anko feels both angry and pleased. Angry because Konohamaru used her for that jutsu, but pleased because she just won her bet with Ibiki. The bet was over whether or not Madara is attracted to women. If his reaction to the sexy jutsu is anything to go by, he is.
"HA!" Konohamaru points at Madara in triumph. "You reacted! Now I know you are not immune to this jutsu! I've finally worn down your defences!"
Anko decides to get in on the fun and shunshins behind Madara. Then she wraps her arms around the man, making sure to press herself up against his back just enough to make him uncomfortable, but not enough to be too indecent. "He made my boobs too small," Anko whispers in Madara's ear.
"I'm sorry," says Konohamru. "I will make them bigger next time!"
"Good boy," says Anko.
Madara shudders ever so slightly, and says, "Let me go before my fighting instincts kick in and I stab you."
"Madara sensei can't stand it when someone is behind him," says Konohamaru.
"And I'm not allowed to kill anyone," adds Madara.
Grinning from ear to ear because the great Madara Uchiha does have a weakness, Anko lets go and says, "Well I'll be off then. Lord Hokage is making me help with his wife's babysitting gig." She saunters off, waving suggestively to Madara and laughing. "Don't let Konohamaru use me for that jutsu again or there'll be hell to pay."
Madara, despite his Uchihaish lack of facial expression, looks both terrified and turned on.
"And don't get any ideas!" Anko adds firmly.
"NEJI!" Naruto climbs into the Hyuuga compound over the wall and lands beside Neji. "You promised to take me to the moon, 'tebayo!"
"Ahh!" Neji's undead grandmother jumps in fright. "Where did he come from?"
Neji sighs. He had hoped to win this round of shogi against his grandmother. If Naruto is here, they won't even finish.
"Pervy Sage and me stopped by 'cause we were in the neighbourhood," says Naruto. "And I remembered that you still owe me a trip to the moon, Neji. We are going now, 'tebayo!"
"You two may go after Neji and I finish our game of shogi," says Neji's grandma.
"Okay," agrees Naruto, and settles down to watch. "You're coming too, right, Mrs. Hinata-and-Neji's-Grandma?"
"I don't think so," says Neji's Grandma, shaking her head. "I do not want to go back there."
"Last time you were there, Mr. Hiashi wasn't king yet," points out Naruto. "Don't you wanna see what it's like under his rule, 'tebayo?"
"Well...not right now," says Neji's Grandma.
"Oh right, you haven't finished your game yet," says Naruto, nodding. "Carry on."
Neji and his Grandma finish their game, and Neji wins. Then Neji stands and says, "Let's go, then."
"Awesome!" Naruto jumps up and makes a shadow clone. "We'll get there faster if we fly to the portal!" The clone grabs Neji's grandma before she can protest and flies up into the air.
"Dad!" Neji calls, grabbing Naruto's shoulders. "I'm taking Naruto and Grandma to the moon!"
"Be back by dinner tomorrow!" calls Neji's Dad. "We're having Naruto's family over, okay."
"Awesome!" says Naruto, and flies up into the air with Neji holding on to his shoulders. "Which way, Neji?"
Neji guides Naruto to the portal between the Moon and the Earth. Neji has been through the portal a few times, but it is still a sight to see. Naruto seems to enjoy the experience. Neji's Grandma just seems nervous about the whole thing.
When they arrive, Neji leads them through the empty part of town and into the heart of the moon city, to where the small population of moon people lives.
"Oh, it's Neji," says someone, coming over to them. "Who are your friends?"
Naruto sets Neji and his Grandma down and releases his shadow clone. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, 'tebayo!" he introduces himself.
"And this is my Grandmother, Princess Hanabi Otsutsuki," says Neji, gesturing to his grandmother.
"Oh! Weren't you dead?" the person says, surprised.
"I am dead, yes," says Neji's Grandmother.
"She's just visiting," says Naruto. "The Reanimation Jutsu is forbidden, 'tebayo."
The moon citizen blinks in surprise. "Oh...have a nice visit." Then the person walks away muttering, "Earth people."
Naruto rolls his eyes and mutters, "Moon people."
Neji grins and says, "Follow me, I'll give you both the Grand Tour of the Moon Kingdom."
"Let's go, dattebayo!" says Naruto, punching the air.
The three of them spend a good five hours wandering around the moon city. Neji shows them the shops, the marketplace, the residential area and takes them to a nice moon cafe for lunch.
"They don't have ramen here," Naruto says, scrutinising the menu.
"The moon people don't have ramen at all," says Neji.
"No wonder this place has weird laws," says Naruto. "They need some ramen to set them straight."
"What does ramen have to do with anything?" sighs Neji's Grandma.
"Everything," says Neji. "We'll have to get a ramen chef to open up shop up here. That should set everyone on the right path."
"Neji, this is why you're my new best friend, dattebayo."
"I thought Hinata was your best friend?"
"Girl best friends are cool and all, but a guy needs a bro," says Naruto.
"Lee won't be happy," points out Neji.
"Actually Lee spends a lot of time hanging out with Madoka now. Somehow they became friends after Lee mistook Madoka for a girl," says Naruto. "And he agrees with Kakashi sensei and Gai sensei that rivals are a different type of best friend, 'tebayo."
"Are you boys going to order?" asks Neji's Grandma.
They order, and, once the three of them finish eating, they head up to the Moon Palace. Neji's Grandma does not want to go there, but Neji points out they are staying there for the night and will have to go there eventually anyway. When they arrive, Neji leads them to the throne room to tell Hiashi that they are staying for the night.
Neji takes them around to a side door so they don't disturb anyone if a meeting is in progress. There is a meeting in progress. Hiashi is in the middle of signing an important document.
"From this day forward," says Hiashi, holding the signed document aloft for all to see. "No more will the eyes be taken from anyone, for any reason. Should the moon kingdom need energy to power its technology, we will find a new source - or move down to earth."
Neji's mother puts her hand to her mouth in shock. Her eyes fill with tears. "I don't believe it…"
Neji takes her hand and says, "Hinata and I are working on convincing the Hyuuga to get rid of the Caged Bird Seal. We only have a few more people to convince, then we will be rid of it forever."
Neji's Grandma begins to glow. The glow attracts the attention of everyone else in the throne room.
"Mother?" Hiashi says, putting down the document, getting up off the moon throne and walking over to them. "How long have you been there?"
"Long enough," says Neji's Grandma, smiling. Ash begins to float off her body and hover around her. "It looks like the jutsu is broken. Goodbye, Hiashi. Goodbye, Neji."
Hizashi looks up as something bright flies by overhead.
"What was that, Uncle?" Hanabi asks, pausing in her training. "It looked like a shooting star, but it's the middle of the afternoon.
Hizashi watches the bright spark stop for a few seconds, over the compound gates. He makes out a hand waving, and then the bright light vanishes.
"Grandma?" says Hanabi. "Uncle, I think that was Grandma. The jutsu must've been broken."