Minato and Jiraiya sneak through the bushes, practicing their stealth. Jiraiya invited Minato to train with him in this out-of-the-way location, and Minato readily agreed. Currently they are trying to sneak up on a herd of wild deer that Jiraiya says is just through this patch of bushes.
Minato glances over to where Jiraiya is hiding. Jiraiya puts a finger to his lips and gestures in the direction they need to go. Minato nods and inches forward, being careful not to make a sound. Finally, he lifts up a branch ever so gently.
Minato sees a waterfall of red hair directly in front of him. What's Kushina doing out here? And why is she in a bikini? Minato feels his cheeks turn red. Slowly, he takes in what he is seeing. A peaceful river. Kushina and a few of her friends, dressed in skimpy swimwear, wading in the river, talking and laughing. Tsunade is there, Mikoto is there, Kinoko is there, Kurenai is there and so are Shikaku, Chouza and Inoichi's wives. Minato ignores them and stares at Kushina. So pretty…
Suddenly, Tsunade stiffens. "I smell a rat!" she says, and marches over to where Jiraiya is hiding.
Minato feels a chill in his bones. If Tsunade finds Jiraiya, she'll see him!
Kushina gets out of the water, picks up her towel, spreads it on the grass in front of Minato and sits down, blocking him from seeing anything but her hair and back. Mercifully, she also blocks any chance of one of the other women seeing him. Minato does not dare move. Even the slightest sound will give him away. He matches his breathing with Kushina's - just in case.
Minato listens to the sound of Jiraiya getting beat up and internally winces.
"There, if that doesn't teach him, I don't know what will," says Kinoko, dusting off her hands.
"This spot is ruined now," sighs Mikoto. "Let's go and find another." The other women agree with her.
"You ladies go on ahead," says Kushina. "I'm feeling a little dizzy because of Baby. Come and get me when you've found a new spot, 'tebane."
Minato blushes. She's so cute when she says dattebane. He's glad Naruto inherited it.
"Are you sure you'll be alright here on your own?" Tsunade asks.
"It'll only be for a few minutes," says Kushina. "If the Pervert wakes up, I'll send him packing."
Minato hears the other ladies wrapping their towels around them and heading down river. Does Kushina know he's there? If not, he better not risk her finding out. Sleeping on the couch is not fun. So cold and lonely.
Kushina reaches into the bush and pulls Minato out. Minato is terrified, but Kushina smiles and says, "Did you like what you saw?"
Minato blushes. "I only saw you…" he stammers. "So...I love what I saw."
Kushina blushes a little. "You should know better than to agree to sneak around in the bushes with Jiraiya," Kushina scolds. "But, no harm done."
"You're not mad?"
"Why would I be? I know you've only ever had eyes for me," says Kushina. "You'll have to make it up to me later." She grins suggestively and taps his nose. "Now get Pervy Sage out of here before the others get back."
Blushing, Minato runs over to Jiraiya's twitching body and hirashins him to the hospital for treatment.
Tenten is at Kakashi sensei's house training with Tobirama because Neji is on the moon, Iruka sensei is in the Mist and she can't deal with Lee and Gai unless Neji is there.
Tobirama stares at the seal he is trying to develop to end the reanimation. In theory, one would draw it on the reanimation's body or draw it on a sealing tag and stick the tag to the reanimation, then upon activation, the seal would release the jutsu. The tricky part is testing it, since Tobirama needs to be able to test it to see if it will work, and there are only three reanimations left: Tobirama, Hashirama and Neji's Grandma.
"Something's not adding up with this seal," sighs Tobirama. "One wrong move and I could bind the soul of the reanimation to the world of the living forever."
"If you did that," says Tenten thoughtfully. "Couldn't you just ask one of the shinigami to end the reanimation for you?"
"I could," says Tobirama. "But I'd prefer not to have to do that."
"May I have a look at it?" asks Tenten.
"Sure," says Tabirama, and hands the seal across the table to her.
Tenten studies it for a few minutes then copies it out. Then she makes a few adjustments and places it on the test scroll. "Okay, here goes," she says, and activates it.
A ghost appears in one of the empty chairs. He looks exactly like Tobirama. He has a plate full of cake in one hand and a fork full of cake in the other. The fork is halfway to his open mouth and he has an expression of annoyance on his face. "What the hell?" he demands, throwing the plate and fork down. Both vanish in a puff of smoke, taking the cake with them. "Why did you ruin my afterlife party? We were having fun. Bloody hell, is the Senju Stupid a thing in this universe too?"
"The what?" asks Tobirama.
"I'm going to take that as a no," says the ghost, who is apparently the ghost of Tobirama from a parallel universe.
Someone knocks on the door. "Come in," says Reanimated Tobirama.
Lord Fugaku comes in, his mustache freshly trimmed and oiled, and a new pair of sunglasses on. "Lord Second," he says, bowing. He sees the Ghost Tobirama. "Ghost Lord Second." He bows again. "How is your research into the Reanimation Seal going?"
"We have a ghost of me from a parallel universe here," says Tobirama. "Other than that, it's going well."
Fugaku raises an eyebrow. "I'll have to take your word for it."
"Lord Fifth-" Tenten starts to ask a question.
"Fifth?" asks Ghost Tobirama. "He's Hokage?"
"Yes, I am," says Fugaku. "Problem?"
"Yeah," says Ghost Tobirama, crossing his arms. "In my universe, you're a reanimation who fights with a newspaper and lives in the back of Sasuke's kitchen cupboard, next to the frypans."
"What in the world happened in your world?" demands Fugaku.
Ghost Tobirama pulls a face. "Stupid happned. So glad I'm immune."
"Say no more," says Fugaku. "I feel ya, bro."
Ghost Tobirama's eyebrow starts twitching in annoyance. "You have no idea what it's like to-"
At that moment, Sasuke bursts into the room. "Yo, Lord Second," she says. "Uncle Madara sensei sent me to see if you made any progress getting rid of yourself." She sees the Ghost Tobirama. "So that's negative progress then."
Tenten laughs nervously, aware that this is all her fault.
"Oh, hey Dad," says Sasuke, seeing Fugaku there too.
"Your Sasuke is a girl?" says Ghost Tobirama, astonished.
"Yours isn't?" says Reanimated Tobirama.
"Apparently in his universe I'm dead and you keep my reanimation in the back of the kitchen cupboard," Fugaku tells Sasuke,crossing his arms.
Sasuke crosses her arms, unconsciously mimicking her Dad's posture. "Sounds like something I'd do."
Hashirama wriggles out of the woodwork shouting, "Oh my gosh, there's another Tobirama!"
"That's it, I'm out," says Ghost Tobirama, and walks out of the house, straight through the wall.
Tenten, Sasuke, Fugaku and the Two undead Hokages stare at each other for a few seconds.
"After him, quick!" says Fugaku, turning and rushing for the door. "Or we'll have mass panic on our hands!"
Ghost Tobirama walks through everything in his path on his quest to find someone to send him home. He wonders if this universe has many people capable of such a thing. He can hear people shouting in alarm behind him, but Ghost Tobirama doesn't care.
Then he sees Madara, 100% alive, carrying a baby in a sling. Four Uzumaki kids and a dog are crowded around him, dangling a toy in front of the baby and laughing at her laughing at the toy.
Tobirama raises an eyebrow. That's a bit weird. Madara having five kids. Ah well, it's a parallel universe. Maybe Madara will help him. Tobirama heads over. "Hey Madara," he says.
"Tobirama?" says Madara. Then he frowns. "You're not from around here, are you? Best leave before s**t gets wacky."
Thank goodness! "Man am I glad you are sane in this world," Tobirama tells Madara. "In my world you tried to cause the apocalypse. That Iruka kid stopped you, though. He is not right in the head."
"You got that right," sighs Madara.
The baby grabs the toy and stuffs it in her mouth, making her siblings laugh even harder.
"Here, I'll send you back before Hokages One, Two and Five get here with my sidekick and Iruka's," says Madara.
"Thank you, now get me out of here. I can handle my world's stupid, but this world is just weird. Uchihas with mustaches? What's the world coming to?"
Madara laughs and sends Tobirama back to his afterlife party.
"I'm going to need more cake," says Tobirama, to all the dead people at the party. "Do I have a story for you. I just went to a world where Madara has five Uzumaki kids."
"No way!" says everyone else.
"I didn't stay long enough to find out what Uzumaki woman was crazy enough to bang Madara, though."