Disclaimer- I don't own the games or the show.

I know that some of you guys have been waiting for this! Enjoy episode three!

Those few minutes turned into about thirty.

Most of that time was spent debating who would wake the Ultimate Sleepyhead.

Eventually – with a lot of begging and games of rock-paper-scissors later – Tails realized that life was so unfair. The fox's namesakes were twitching erratically as he bit his lip, unsure sapphires looking down at Shadow on the couch. He was an arm's length away from the sleeping 'hog. Tails peered over his shoulder at Sonic sitting on the floor. His brother gave him a reassuring thumbs up. Tails didn't feel any better.

Thinking about it though, Tails guessed that he was the best candidate for the job, no matter how he felt about it. Eggman was an obvious no, because the thing wanted everyone to watch the show. The doctor couldn't do that if he was dead. Knuckles and Sonic were better choices than Eggman, but…still bad. Shadow wouldn't kill them – most likely – however, there will be injuries, and the living room would be beyond saving. Tails was surprised that the rivals' earlier tussle hadn't left the space in shambles.

Amy would've been a good candidate if Tails didn't think that Shadow was a firm believer in equal rights. From what the kit saw of the striped hedgie in the field, Shadow didn't care want gender you were, he was going to hit.

So…Tails just hoped the guy had a soft spot for kids.

The young anthro took a steady breath, steeling himself, and avoided the potentially sharp quills to nudge Shadow's shoulder. Tails swore that he hadn't touched the striped one yet, but apparently he had. For what other reason would he be suddenly on the floor with a scowling hedgehog straddling him with a fist raised ready to break his nose? Yeah, he couldn't think of one either.

Tails held his hands up to protect his face, squeaking, "Please don't punch me, I'm a growing boy!" When he didn't receive a response – or blossoming pain, to his relief – the fox meekly peeked through his fingers to see Shadow's still drowsy eyes on him. The hedgie blinked a couple of times as if remembering where he was, and irritation replaced the homicide in his expression.

Shadow leaned back and lowered his fist. Rubies narrowed down at the kid. "What you did was a mistake, fox."

Tails nodded, swallowing the golf ball-sized lump in his throat. "I'm uh…fully aware of that." He then realized that he was still basically pinned to the floor. "Can you…get off me now?"

Shadow ignored him. He blinked a couple more times to get rid of the tired fog lingering in his mind. The rodent's not-so-happy gaze swept the room because he knew that it wasn't Tails' genius idea to wake him up. Shadow locked eyes with Sonic because no matter what, it was always the faker.

His voice was rough as he growled, "Who in the hell gave you the idea to disrupt my-"

Sonic held his hands up innocently. The dull ache of his bruises had gone down somewhat. "It wasn't me this time, Shads! We all got the idea from…" The blue hedgehog gestured to nothing in particular. "…the thing."

"Yeah um…" Shadow snapped his focus back on Tails, who was wringing his fingers together. "The episode you fell asleep on finished, and we couldn't keep going until you woke up!"

Shadow bit his tongue to keep from spouting out rather…interesting words that the thing surely wouldn't appreciate. He stiffly stood up, giving the kit space. He kept all thoughts and actions as leashed as he could, gathering his discarded stress ball – it was a necessity at this point to keep him sane – and the still chilled bag of peas that he'd been unfairly separated from.

Inwardly seething, the striped hedgie collapsed back on the couch, sinking into the cushion. One hand held the peas up to his black eye, and the other attacked the ball like it was the sole reason Maria had died. He didn't bother laying down again, knowing that he'd unintentionally nod off.

Everyone was looking at him; he kept his lips sealed and glared at the TV.

Tails put a hand on his rapidly beating heart as he sat up, feeling like he'd just run a marathon. "For a second there, my life flashed before my eyes…"

"I don't doubt it…" Amy released a breath that she didn't know she was holding. She had learned something today. While depriving Sonic of sleep would be adorable, doing the same to Shadow just might put you six feet under.

Sonic cheekily grinned at the grumpy 'hog. He struggled to get on his feet, some bruises pulling uncomfortably. He made sure to grab the ice pack. The azure speedster approached the now roomy couch and plopped down onto it beside Shadow, reveling on how soft it was compared to the floor. He then patted the spot next to him, raising a questioning brow at Tails.

The fox was looking at him like he was insane – he couldn't be surprised though. Sonic always barreled into life-threatening situations without a second thought – but he joined his brother anyway. Sonic was a barrier between Shadow and the kit, so he was moderately safe.

"It's nice to see that you've worked on your self-control, Shads!" Sonic chirped, nudging his darker furred neighbor. No one knew if he was mocking or being genuine or both…probably both. "Impressive! Though, you could've started a little earlier…" he muttered, placing the ice on one of the purple splotches on his knee.

There was no verbal response from Shadow. He simply crushed the ball with his trembling fingers.

Sonic opened his mouth to comment how rude it was to ignore people, and Knuckles jumped in before someone had to call emergency services. "Let's just get the show on the road now that Shadow's awake." He held up the remote in his possession and frowned when a couple strands fell off his gloves. He had bring this up. "Oh and Shadow, you owe me new gloves."

Those molten scarlets snapped over to him, and Knuckles suddenly tensed, ready to duck for cover if that smiley stress ball became a deadly projectile. "I don't owe you anything, echidna," Shadow hissed, calculating each word and wondering if the guardian had a death wish. He was too tired for this. "You decided to intervene."

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Because if I hadn't, Sonic would've been out cold-"

"Thanks for the confidence, Knux!"

"-and we would've had to wait longer for him to wake up."

Shadow's quills bristled and began to shred the cushion behind them. Tails grieved for the state of his furniture. "We're waiting now because you won't press play!"

Knuckles knew that the other had a point, but still… "They're really cheap at the thrift shop, so when we're freed-"

"I swear if you don't play it, I will shove this ball so far up your-"

"Playing."

The bright overhead sun shone down on an occupied sandy beach. Under a large umbrella were Sonic and Amy, relaxing in lounge chairs. Nearby, Sticks and Knuckles were playing volleyball.

Sonic pointed at the screen. "You were right, Knux! Sticks is gonna show up pretty often!" The speedster then regarded a rigid Shadow. "The badger's name is Sticks; we learned that when you were sleeping – oh wait! You don't know what happened at the end of the last episode!"

"Faker, I don't care." The venom in his voice was enough to kill an elephant, and maybe even Big the cat. "So shut up."

The azure rodent wasn't fazed at all by his standoffish behavior, more than used to it. "Aw Shads. Deep down, I know that you-" He didn't get to finish his sentence for Shadow had ripped the bag of cool peas open and poured a gratuitous amount down Sonic's throat. The blue hero hacked the deadly vegetables back up in order to breathe, them being spat onto the floor. "Gah, Shadow!" He wheezed. "I could've died!"

Shadow snatched the unguarded ice pack and leaned it against his eye. "Good."

Sonic was too busy coughing to properly reclaim his property. "M-My ice!"

"My peas…" Tails whined as he stood up, staring longingly at the empty ripped bag laying on the floor. "So much for trying to eat healthy…" he murmured to himself as he picked it up, trying to avoid stepping on the peas. "I'll get you another pack, Sonic." He would get clean the peas later because he knew that those wouldn't be the only mess on the floor by the end of this.

"Thanks – gak! – lil bro!"

Knuckles let out a long-winded sigh. "We aren't even ten seconds in…" He glanced over at a slightly concerned Amy. "Don't be surprised if Sonic ends up dead before we get to leave."

Amy didn't want that. Marrying a corpse was probably illegal and highly looked down upon. "It's like no matter where they are, they always mess with each other! Can't they-" And by they, she meant Shadow, "-act civil for once?"

"No." Knuckles grunted. "It's physically impossible for them."

Over on the other side of the pajama-clad pinkette was Eggman, and he was rubbing his temples. He felt a migraine coming on. They were never going to leave this place and he was going to go insane. He could see the headlines now, 'Dr. Eggman gone mental because of overexposure to just as crazy hedgehogs'. Chaos, help him.

When Tails returned with ice, he saw Sonic about to throw a pea at Shadow's face. The kit hurriedly shuffled over and shoved the pack into his brother's hands. Sonic smiled appreciatively at him as he sat down, dropping the mini projectile. Sometimes, just sometimes, Tails wished that Sonic had more common sense.

"There's nothing like a lazy day on the beach," Sonic uttered happily, his fingers linked behind his head. The brown volleyball bounced towards Amy, so she put down the book she had been reading to throw it back.

Sticks caught it and released a content sigh. "It's nice to breathe in that beautiful saltwater air and relax. For the first time, I feel totally stress-free."

"Don't doubt it." Knuckles absently tossed the remote up and down. "Last time, she was a total nutcase."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Not total. More like half."

Tails shook his head. Definitely more than that. "Two-thirds?"

She snapped her fingers at him, nodding in affirmation. "Yeah! Two-thirds a nutcase."

"Hey guys!" Tails greeted off screen.

Sticks shrieked and crouched low, freaking out because of the sudden voice.

Sonic chuckled. That was totally Knuckles. He wondered if the other echidna acted the same way around that glorified rock of his.

The kit was pushing something covered with a tan cloth forward. "I just perfected my most brilliant invention yet." He gestured to the blanketed object. "Meet UT, the Universal Translator." Tails threw the cloth off to reveal a robot with two dishes extending from its head. "Designed to translate any language into our own!"

"That's actually pretty cool!" Amy leaned forward in her seat. "You could go anywhere without a language barrier!"

Tails nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! I don't know why I haven't thought of that yet! Just think of all the cool stuff I could learn from different professors now that nothing's lost in translation…!"

Sonic patted his stomach. "And it would be so much easier to order those delicious dumplings from Chu-nan." He imagined chowing down one those delectable treats, and he knew that those were the first things he was going to eat after being freed.

"It isn't that difficult to find a translator in different countries," Shadow grunted, not understanding the hype. "What makes you think that a robot is better than the people that actually are bilingual?"

"A robot wouldn't be a buzzkill!" Sonic huffed. "Would it kill ya to compliment somebody?"

"Yes."

Sonic, Sticks, and Amy silently blink at the bot, unimpressed.

"Harsh crowd, aren't they?" Knuckles frowned. At least Sonic should be hyping up his little brother. Maybe that Tails has had too many busts in the past? That was the only explanation he could think of.

"Allow me to demonstrate." Tails directed his friends' attention to a bird nest. The mother bird was feeding her young.

The Universal Translator observed the avians before turning to the heroes. "'The fact that you pre-chew my food is repulsive.'"

Tails' eyes sparkled. "That just became ten times cooler! It can translate any kind of verbal communication? I seriously have to put this on my list of inventions!"

Despite his excitement, Amy was looking a bit green in the face. "Didn't you hear what the baby bird said though? It is really disgusting if you think about it."

Sonic tapped his chin. "Do you guys think that the Babylon Rogues-"

Knuckles inwardly gagged. He did not want the picture of Mobian birds spitting mushy food into each other's mouths. Oh dammit. Too late. "No, we don't want to think that."

"Hey!" Knuckles chuckled in awe. "It works!"

UT translated it as, "'Didn't see that one coming.'"

"It does thoughts too?!" Tails exclaimed.

"Interesting…" Eggman commented, actually intrigued about this piece of machinery. If used right in the care of an evil mastermind like himself, he could potentially plan for any attack the heroes come up with before they even struck! Eggman would have to modify the one shown on screen of course, but it had potential. Too bad that the other doctor was going to screw it up somehow. "Looks like you're not as smart as you think you are, fox. How did this version of you that allows sleepovers come up with it before you did?"

Instead of feeling insulted, Tails pulled from the many years of hanging around Sonic and his witty comebacks to say, "How did you, the man who basically lives off making robots, not think of this before? Is the other me smarter than you?"

Sonic barked out a laugh while Eggman growled, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "I would throw you this ice pack for your burn Eggy, but I kinda need it."

Eggman angrily pointed. "You'll see…you'll all see! When I destroy you, you'll regret ever taunting me!"

Sonic waved him off. "If that's what helps you sleep at night."

Knuckles scratched his head. "Um…it's still talking?"

"'I thought this thing only translated birds,'" UT added on.

"Since what you're saying doesn't need to be translated," Tails proudly explained, "UT is translating it into what you really mean!"

"'I didn't intend for it to do that,'" UT uttered, "'but I will gladly accept full credit.'"

Tails snickered at that. "Of course he gets full credit, accident or not! He made a pretty awesome bot. I have to step my game up!"

"That's great, Tails!" Amy complimented, but something was off with her tone.

UT called her out on it. "'Pretty lame.'"

Amy gasped, shocked. "What is she talking about? It's like having the power to read peoples' minds! I think it's special!"

"That Amy is pretty critical," Knuckles stated, "Which is ironic because she practically was all over Eggman last episode."

"Don't say it like that!" Both the pinkette and doctor yelled out.

Now very aware that she was beside said man, Amy quickly hopped out of her seat and motioned for Knuckles to slide over. "Scoot!"

The echidna creased his brow. "But I don't want-"

"Scoot over or so help me-!" She suddenly screeched, and Knuckles silently obeyed, having forgotten how crazy this girl could get sometimes. And how bad her hammer hurt. Amy beamed at him before sitting back down. "Thanks!"

Amy was starting to sweat. "That's…not what I was thinking at all!"

"'Man, I am totally busted.'"

She was not amused. "Tails? I think that it needs some more work."

"'If that thing doesn't shut its metal trap, I think I might die.'"

Sonic had a devious smile on his face. "Oh man, wouldn't that thing be great for pranks? Or finding out embarrassing secrets to blackmail with? For example, Shads here." Shadow wanted to block out his rival's words, but Sonic was right there so it was basically impossible. "What if when he says, 'I am the Ultimate Lifeform, fear me', he really means 'I just farted and I actually need all of you to clear the area'."

Shadow went from being exasperated because of Sonic's horrible impression of him to being mortified as the room was filled with snickers. "What the hell?" He snarled, which contrasted the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. "I would never-"

"Everyone passes gas pal!" Sonic patted the other on his shoulder. "Even Ultimate Lifeforms!"

"Move your hand if you want to keep your arm."

Sonic wisely ceased contact. "I'm just sayin' Shads! It's a natural thing!"

Eggman was the only one not laughing, this new topic making him imagine a situation he did not want to be in. "While you're joking around, rodent, if one of us was indeed…bubbly, then we are trapped in here with it!"

The azure hedgie's smile dropped, and the laughter faded away as the doctor's words sunk in. Sonic then thrusted a finger in the direction of the bathroom. "If anyone needs to rip a nasty one, go to the bathroom and hopefully the thing isn't sadistic enough to let us choke on the fumes…!"

"Death by flatulence." Knuckles scrunched his nose in disgust. "Not the most pleasant way to go out…"

Tails wrung his fingers together. "But what's the possibility of that happening? Let's just keep watching!" Eggs didn't cause people to be gassy, right? Oh please…

"Wait…" Sticks pointed at the small mech. "This thing reads minds?"

UT translated, rather uselessly, "'Wait. This thing reads minds.'"

"Get it out of my head!" The badger screamed.

"'Get it out of my head.'"

"Well, she's completely honest." Knuckles pointed out. "That's one thing she's got going for her." He watched as she pulled out a boomerang. She would've clubbed the robot if the other him hadn't restrained her. The guardian deadpanned. "And she's quick to attack, I guess that's another."

Sonic winked at the echidna. "She's basically a female you, Knux!"

"Chaos Sonic, if you compare me to her one more time-!"

"Now, now!" Knuckles chastised, holding onto the feistier one. "Calm down, Sticks!"

"'Take it easy, whack-job.'"

"Hey!" Sticks barked indignantly at UT.

"'I am displeased.'"

Sonic tried to fix the situation. "Don't be offended, Sticks! Knuckles didn't mean to think that."

UT rolled up to him. "'He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.'"

Knuckles growled, insulted.

Sonic tapped his foot, frowning up as he positioned the ice on his stomach. "Why is everyone getting so riled up? We say insults to each others' faces all the time and no one gets offended!"

Knuckles scoffed. "Actually, you're the only one who does it, and you are the only one we do it to. But I get what you're saying. Things are getting pretty heated."

"Tails, I think it's best if you shut that thing off." Amy strictly advised. "We don't want it to reveal anything too…sensitive."

UT beeped. "'Shut that thing up before it tells Sonic that I-" Tails powered it off. "'-looo….'"

"Uh, what was he saying?" Sonic asked, not understanding.

Amy frantically waved her hands and chuckled nervously. "Nothing! Nothing important!"

"Nothing important? Nothing important?!" A fire blazed in Amy's jade orbs. "Since when is declaring your devoted love to the one you cherish most nothing important?" She wanted to jump into the screen and slap some sense into her other self. Shyness would get her nowhere. "She needs to take charge and stalk – I mean, never give up! True love conquers all!"

The others couldn't even be surprised about her rather…intense outburst.

What threw Sonic off however, was that the other him seemed oblivious to it. Come on other me! You have to know so you can learn the warning signs and get the heck out of dodge! Save yourself!

Knuckles was slightly leaning away from Amy. "Are you done?"

"NO! I'M NEVER DONE LOVING SONI – oh, do you mean with my speech?" Amy crossed her ankles and nodded. "Then yeah, I'm done. For now."

A little distance away, a robot shaped like a bug had been recording the scene.

The setting changed to Eggman's lair, said doctor and his two helper bots watching the crew bicker on a large screen. "Very interesting," he hummed, "It seems Tails' new invention is creating friction between Sonic and his friends."

"Yeah!" Cubot, who was standing beside him, concurred. "And they're not getting along either!"

Eggman exhaled harshly. "This is why I had trashed those robots! They're completely idiotic and a waste of time and energy to maintain!"

Sonic had to agree. "Yeah, they weren't your best work Eggy, not that your best isn't that great either…"

The man refrained from pulling his 'stache hair out. "Did I ask you, rodent?"

"Nope!" He chirped. "But I answered!"

Eggman had a full-on migraine now, and he knew that it wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

"This gives me an idea." Eggman told them. "If I build a duplicate robot to replace the original, I could have it say whatever I want! They'll be at each other's throats in no time! And with the group divided, I can destroy them once and for all!"

Tails tilted his head. "That wouldn't work, right? Our other selves wouldn't trust a robot over their friends!"

Knuckles shrugged. "Given what we've seen, it's possible."

"It's doesn't mean that it is a smart plan!" Eggman couldn't help but refute. "All he has to do is take the robot, modify it so it has broader range, and-" He slumped, massaging his forehead. "-and I'm just going to have to watch him fail again, don't I?"

"You're used to it though, so it's okay."

Eggman ignored Sonic's jab with effort, and he mentally patted himself on the back.

Eggman laughed evilly, but when Orbot and Cubot joined in, he cut them off. "Don't laugh with me. You're ruining it."

It was now nighttime, and Tails was in his house sitting in a chair. He spoke to his new robot. "Wow, UT. My friends normally love my inventions. I can't believe you had such a lousy debut." He laid down in it with sigh.

UT's monotone filled the air. "'I blame myself.'"

Tails felt bad for his other self. His invention was great! He shouldn't beat himself up for it.

The kit shook his head. "No no. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. After all, I was the one who – oh wait." He sat up and faced the mech. "You were just saying my thoughts, huh?"

"'I feel like such a dummy.'"

Tails shut UT off. "Things'll go better tomorrow, I promise. Goodnight, UT." The kid yawned and fell asleep.

"There he goes, jinxing things again…" Amy trailed off, feeling terrible for the little guy.

Orbot and Cubot, seeing that he's sleeping, snuck in and switched UT out for a duplicate. Tails moved a bit, but didn't wake up. The robots crept back out, leaving behind the fake.

Sonic scratched his nose. "You called it, Ames."

It was daytime again, and most of the friends were on the beach. Sonic, Knuckles, and Amy were resting under the umbrella while Sticks was bouncing the volleyball by herself. It was the badger who noticed the approaching Tails and UT first. Annoyance flashed across her face.

"Okay," Tails began, "I know things got off on the wrong foot yesterday, but I-"

Sonic, now awake, interrupted him. "Tails, I think it would be best if you turned UT off."

"Jeez…can't he let Tails speak first?" Sonic groused. "I mean, come on!"

"Let's just rename this episode 'Everyone be unfair to Tails'," the kit murmured.

The fake UT spoke. "'Amy Rose is a big dope."

Amy glared at Sonic. "Oh! So now that's what you're thinking?"

The shocked speedster held his hands up innocently. "Wh-What? No! Not even close!"

Knuckles couldn't help but to think that this was nice payback, although… "That Amy was quick to turn on Sonic even though she 'loves' him." The air-quotes were clearly heard.

"Sonic would never call me that!" Amy hmphed. Overly-attached friend, yes. Dope, no. "So I would know immediately that something was wrong!"

Eggman was watching through the screen again and was speaking for the replica of UT through a microphone. "And her hair stinks! What does she shampoo with…"

"'Yogurt from the back of the fridge?'"

Amy sniffed her quills. They smelled like roses, not like a most likely expired dairy product. If anyone smelled like that, it would be Eggman.

"Why would you even say that?" Amy yelled, getting into Sonic's face.

"But I didn't say that!" He pointed to the small bot. "He did!"

"Yep, looks like one of Eggy's plans are workin' for a change." Sonic threw the human a mocking grin. "Wanna pen so you can take some notes?"

The doctor took off his other slipper and hurled it in Sonic's direction, inwardly cursing when the rodent stuck out his tongue, expertly dodging. He was running out of things to throw.

Knuckles rolled his eyes. "Sure you didn't."

"'I'm stupid.'"

"Hey!" the echidna exclaimed, glaring at the bot.

"I mean, he's not wrong." Knuckles leaned his elbows on his knees, chin resting in a palm. "Yeah, he hadn't reached that first episode level of stupid yet, but the fact that he doesn't smell something fishy after that is just terrible.

"It just looks like he's gullible." Tails observed. "And when we first met you, well…"

"It was a whole different situation then!" Knuckles nearly growled, not wanting to be reminded of his regrettable past actions.

"Not really," Sonic said flippantly, "Both of you fell for Baldy's schemes."

The guardian gestured violently at the screen. "The other you fell for it too!"

Sonic wagged a finger. "But I never have!"

"Actually, Sonic-"

"Hush, Tails. I'm winnin' an argument here."

Knuckles just huffed, giving up for now. He was better convincing with his fists than words anyway. He'd deliver his 'side' of the argument later to not extend their time stuck here any longer.

The fake UT continued. "'And um…I'm ugly too, but not as ugly as Sticks.'"

The badger growled before tackling Knuckles and basically trying to detach his head from his shoulders.

"Ow!" The red one shouted. "Get offa me!"

"Actually, with that level of violence, she's more of a mixture of Knuckles and Sha-"

"Say one more word, faker, and you'll wish that you had never been born."

"Exactly my point!"

Eggman was laughing evilly at what he saw in his lair. "Now, this is going nicely."

The real UT rolled over to him. "'Dr. Eggman is a genius.'"

The human was clearly impressed. "Hey, I like your style."

"'You're the only one who understands me.'"

"I think we've seen enough of this." Eggman turned off the TV showing the still feuding heroes to give UT his full attention.

"'Let's turn off the monitors and focus on praising Dr. Eggman.'"

Said man smiled.

Eggman just shook his head in exasperation. He hadn't sunk that low in needing someone to always praise him loss after loss, saving him from the sad void of defeat every time that annoying hedgehog got the best of him…

…huh. Maybe he did need to invest in one of those…

Back with the anthros, Amy hadn't backed down yet. "Sonic the hedgehog, I can't believe you think those awful things!"

Sonic was just as agitated. "So now you're gonna trust some bucket of bolts over me?"

"So wait." Knuckles scratched his head. "Who called me stupid? I called me stupid?"

"There it is." Knuckles sighed out. "He's back to being an idiot." But why though? Why was he like that? Had he hit his head too many times protecting the Master Emerald…wherever it was? Or maybe it was drugs after all.

Sticks then spoke up. "Don't you see? This is what it wants us to do!" Her voice raised in volume. "The roboapocalypse is nigh!"

Tails blinked. "Wow… So she's a mix of Knuckles, Shadow, and Charmy hyped up on sugar?" He slightly hid behind Sonic when he was suddenly on the receiving end of two sets of glares.

The blue blur chuckled. "You hit it the head, Tails!"

Sonic and Amy stared blankly at Sticks for a moment before going back to arguing.

The pinkette pointed a finger in the azure hedgehog's face. "After everything I do for you, you don't appreciate me?! Why am I even here?"

Knuckles rose a brow at that. "You two are seriously arguing like you're a married couple."

Amy danced a bit in her seat. "We totally are!" Did this mean that something was actually happening between the two? She couldn't wait to find out! "There's definitely some lover's tension there!"

"You guys are lookin' way too far into this!" Sonic's words were fast and nearly incomprehensible. He didn't care. He was too busy being in denial. "It's just two friends arguing! Nothing special!" I believe in you, other me! Don't cross over to the dark side!

Tails frowned up a bit. "I don't know Sonic-"

"Hush Tails! I'm tryin' not to freak out here!"

"I know my friends wouldn't think such horrible thoughts about each other…maybe UT's malfunctioning?" Tails muttered to himself, turning to the robot. He used a screwdriver to open the mech up. He gasped in surprise. "What the heck? I didn't install a remote speaker!"

The speaker was shown and had an Eggman logo on it.

There went that plan, Eggman thought. Though it was destined to fail from the start. The doctor should learn from this however. Logos – while they let everyone know exactly which evil mastermind was delivering their doom – were probably something to let go.

Tails ripped it out and yelled to the others. "You guys, stop! We've been duped! Eggman swiped UT and replaced him with this imposter!"

They all stopped fighting to look at him.

"We gotta save the real UT!" Tails said with determination. He began to run off, but paused when he realized that no one was following. "…Don't you guys wanna get UT back?"

Sonic put a hand on his hip. "Thing is bud, that robot of yours just makes us fight all the time."

"So…basically he's going to have Tails rescue his bot from the heart of Eggman's base by himself?" Sonic pursed his lips, not liking this. Though, he was more than glad that argument with the other him and Amy hadn't moved into darker territory. Sonic inwardly shuddered. "Great plan. Yep, that'll go smoothly."

Tails peered up at his big bro. "You would've went with me, right Sonic?"

Sonic smiled before giving him a noggie. "Sure would've bud! No matter how annoying the robot is!" Tails giggled as he fought to free himself.

"It's evil, I tell ya!" Sticks reiterated.

Tails' face fell. "Fine. I see how it is. I'll go get him back myself!" He then ran off.

The kit was now sprinting over Eggman's island, heading for the entrance of the lair. Peering around a corner, he spotted a patrolling Motobug. Tails ducked behind the rock when the robot looked his way, and he smacked it with a wrench when it came to investigate. When it broke, Tails resumed his trek.

"He's doing well so far…" Tails pondered aloud, having escaped Sonic's hold.

Inside the base, Eggman was holding out a piece of cake shaped like his face to UT. "Would you like another slice of cake?"

UT beeped. "'What a beautiful cake. I hope no one sits on it."

Tails cocked his head. "Why would he even-"

Eggman sat the dessert on a nearby table just as Tails fell through the skylight, landing square on it.

Tails laughed along with the others, sans Shadow – who was too tired to tell the rest to shut up – and Eggman – who actually felt a tinge of sadness. That cake looked very delicious, and he could go for one right now to distract him from this madness.

Tails held up a fist. "Eggman!"

"'Landing in that cake really hurt my credibility.'"

Sonic was fighting to control his chuckles. "Yeah, but it still was awesome!" The other Eggman looked like he'd eaten one too many cakes anyway. He didn't need it.

"Not now, UT!" The fox frowned before throwing a slice of cake at the robot, shutting it off. Tails jumped off the table and demanded, "Give me back my robot!"

Eggman stood up, now looming over him. "Or what?"

Tails hesitated. "…That's a fair question."

"Wait…Why didn't Tails just swoop in, take the robot, and fly back out?" Amy didn't know what their alternate selves were thinking sometimes. "That would've been a lot easier!"

"Maybe UT's too heavy?" Tails provided.

"Or maybe they just want to make everything harder for themselves," Knuckles uttered before glancing over at his human neighbor. "Hell Eggman, with them acting like that, maybe you'll get to see yourself win. For once."

"I doubt it," Eggman and Sonic said at the same time.

More robots appeared and surrounded Tails.

"Where's that blue loser?" the doctor inquired, "And the rest of your friends?"

"I'm here alone! I came to negotiate the release of my robot, UT!"

"Negotiate?" Eggman rubbed his chin. "Usually we just battle until the losing party…sometimes you, sometimes me – it's about a fifty-fifty split – retreats to his lair!"

That was the worst lie Sonic's ever heard. "Fifty-fifty? Not even close! The only thing that's 'fifty-fifty' is whether Eggman cries or not after every defeat!"

"I do not cry!" Eggman slammed a fist on the arm of the couch. Though, he did take a bubble bath every once in a while, but that was neither here nor there. "I am a grown man, Sonic!"

The azure speedster smirked. "Who always gets bested by a buncha kids, right? And a grandpa," he added as an afterthought, snickering at Shadow's irked expression.

Shadow didn't even know why he opened his mouth. Sonic had been baiting him. He really needed sleep if he had to constantly deal with him. "In case you've forgotten hedgehog, I had remained in stasis for fifty years."

Sonic's eyes widened. "Oh yeah, that's right! That's even better! Eggman, you've been beaten by a bunch of kids and a toddler!"

Shadow gritted his teeth. His rival was supposed to be taunting the doctor, not him. "You have been beaten by a toddler too, faker, today even. So be quiet before this toddler does something he probably won't regret."

Sonic blinked before huffing. "You're no fun Shads…"

Tails had his hands on his hips. "Let's pretend that's true and that you don't always lose. In exchange for the safe return of my robot," he gestured to himself, "I'm prepared to offer my services as your lab assistant."

"Intriguing…" Eggman stroked his mustache. "With two mechanical geniuses under one roof-"

Tails perked up. "Was that…a compliment?"

Eggman growled. "Not from me."

"-I'd raise my win ration well above the fifty-fifty mark that we both agreed earlier was completely accurate."

Sonic quietly snorted. The other Eggman was seriously swimming waist deep in denial.

"Then it's a deal?" Tails asked.

Eggman patted Orbot. "I'll have Orbot draw up a contract. This will be delicious! Having one of Sonic's friends helping me build the tools that will destroy him!"

"It's ripe with irony, your evilness!" Orbot agreed. "Sonic won't know what hit him!"

"But wait." Eggman thought for a second. "The moment Sonic realizes you're missing, he'll come bursting through that door with that circus troupe he calls friends, and put a damper on all the fun!"

"Probably not!" Amy's cheeks were puffed out. "Because they're too busy being haters and not…congratulaters!"

Knuckles gave her an amused look. "You have a way with words, you know that?"

Amy smiled. "I know! I try!"

Tails approached his stolen robot. "I've already thought of that. Since you're letting UT go, I'll just send a message along with him."

"That's smart!" Tails' namesakes wagged behind him. "Because then UT would translate what he says into what he really means! He probably planned that from the start!"

Knuckles could see where Tails was coming from. "Okay, so I take back what I said before. Tails knows what he's doing, but the rest of his friends need some work."

"Good thinking, number two!" Eggman praised.

Orbot nudged him. "I thought I was number two?"

"Oh please. I'd need a computer to find out where you fall in the pecking order." A laptop was suddenly there in the man's hold. "Fortunately, I have one here." He made a few keystrokes. "Three hundred forty-seven."

Orbot slumped.

He can't be that upset, Sonic mused, He has to know that nice and Eggman go together like Shadow and appreciating a joke for once.

Tails pushed a button on UT, activating a video recorder. "Hey gang, it's Tails." He waved. "I'm going to be staying with Eggman. No need to rescue me, I'm one hundred percent safe and happy." Tails ended the recording.

How did the other him not catch that? Eggman released a heavy sigh. This was torture.

Back on the beach, UT rolled up, approaching a lounging Amy and Knuckles. "Hey, it's Tails' missing robot." The pinkette observed.

"We found him!" Knuckles smiled as everyone gathered around the bot. The echidna pointed at UT. "When you see Tails, tell him we looked everywhere for a long time."

Knuckles simply rolled his eyes, having no words.

"Or we can just recycle the thing and take a blood oath never to tell a soul." Everyone silently stared at Sticks. She shrugged. "What? Just spitballin' here."

Sonic didn't know what else to say besides, "Yeah. She's got some Shads in here."

Nothing but hate flowed through Shadow's veins. Hate for what? Everything.

UT activated the message from Tails, the hologram of the fox floating over the sand. The recording repeated what the kit said earlier, and the crew was shocked.

The small mech then translated it. "'I snuck into Eggman's lair to save my robot. It was awesome. You should have seen me. Anyways, I need you to come rescue me now. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"Wow…" Knuckles was impressed. "UT really came in handy!"

Amy nodded. "Maybe it's not as dumb an invention as we thought."

"And it only took for Tails to be put in serious danger to realize that." Knuckles deadpanned.

"Eh." Sonic stretched a bit, careful of his bruises. "I won't say serious danger."

Knuckles grunted. "Whatever. You get my point. None of this would've happened if they went with him in the first place. The episode would've been over by now!"

"I dunno about that, Knuckles," Tails started, "The last two had lasted the same about of time…

The guardian groaned. "This situation is just terrible." He just wanted to watch over the Master Emerald. Was that too much to ask?

"Yeah…but we should still smash it," Sticks suggested, "Just to be safe."

Sonic shook his head. "No time for that now! We've gotta go save Tails!"

In Eggman's lair once more, the scientist was working on a smashed Bee bot with Tails by his side. "Tails, be a doll and plug my drill into that outlet over there?"

The kit grabbed the plug and glanced in the direction Eggman was pointing in. The outlet was sparking wildly.

Tails frowned. "Uh…that doesn't look very safe."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I'm having you do it," Eggman said like it was obvious.

"Probably the most sensible thing he's said this whole time," Eggman commented. Honestly, he would do the same if he was in that position. No one liked being electrocuted.

Tails gulped but went for it anyway. Eggman sighed. "It's nice having an assistant."

An alarm began to blare, and a monitor dropped down to show Sonic destroying a Bee bot right outside the base.

"Woo!" Sonic cheered as he sat straighter, eyes focused. "Some action! Let's go!"

Amy hammered a Crab bot with a satisfied yell. Sticks sidestepped another Bee bot's blasts until it was crushed by a smug Knuckles. A Motobug raced by and immediately was smashed by a spin dashing Sonic. UT attempted but failed to translate the action. Amy and Sticks then crushed a Bee bot by kicking it simultaneously. They shared victorious grins.

Sonic couldn't help but to smile. "No matter the universe, robots are no match for Team Sonic!" Tails and Amy cheered while Knuckles smirked. Eggman grumbled under his breath, and Shadow really missed his bed.

The entrance doors to the lair opened up, revealing a disgruntled Eggman and Tails.

"We're here to save our friend from your evil clutches!" Sonic shouted.

"Wait, what?" Confusion flashed across Eggman's face. "No! Tails and I have a contract!"

Orbot then waltzed over, holding up a piece of paper. "Here's the lab assistant contract, ready to be signed!"

Eggman clutched his head before running his hands down his face, ignoring the laughter floating around the room. That man was such an embarrassment! He was ruining Eggman's good – though some would argue – name as a villain! It didn't matter if it was him or not, the heroes would never let him live this down!

Tails simply laughed and rejoined his friends.

"Fine!" Eggman growled. "Lucky thing I always have a plan B."

The ground rumbled, and a huge bulky robot with one red eye, tank treads, and big hands approached them.

Sonic whistled lowly at the big bot. "Still nothin' we can't handle!"

More Bee bots flew over and blasted Tails and Knuckles with their stingers, the duo dodging the attacks. Amy pulled out her hammer and charged the Mega bot; however, it knocked the weapon away with ease. It then raised a fist and attempted to crush the pinkette.

"Amy! Look out!" Sonic sped over and got her out of the way just in time. Sonic was still holding onto Amy when they put a safe distance between themselves and the machine.

"That was close," Sonic said, relieved.

UT was nearby. "'I care about your well-being."

"Aww…" Amy cooed, and Sonic gave her a grin.

Amy shrieked as she jumped to her feet, hopping up and down and pointing at the screen. "What…That…It's happening! OH MY GOSH IT'S HAPPENING!"

Tails furrowed his brow. "Wait… Does that mean that they're actually…a thing?"

His only answer was Amy shrieking again, unable to contain herself.

Sonic couldn't breathe. "Ack!" He clutched his chest. "My heart!"

Amy clasped her hands together, giggling manically – it was so cute – before letting out a dreamy sigh. "Is it swelling and warming up to the love in the air?"

"No! I'm havin' a heart attack! Because what…when…how…w-why?" Sonic sputtered. He put a hand on his forehead, feeling light headed. When Amy danced some more, he knew that he had to put an end to this before she got any ideas. "It's platonic! Yeah! It has to be! Friends caring about friends, right? Platonic!"

Watching Sonic freak out made up for Amy nearly shattering his eardrums. Knuckles snickered. "Looked more than platonic to me."

"I mean…" Tails rubbed the back of his neck. "The other Amy does act different, so…"

"Whose side are you on!?" Sonic screeched. Shadow flattened his ears and snarled at him, but he couldn't care less. This is how I die, Sonic deduced, Forced to watch this nightmare which is only gonna get worse because I know that won't be the only time-!

Amy suddenly pounced on him, landing in his lap. "If they can do it, we totally can to!" She leaned forward, and Sonic wanted to disappear into the couch. "Especially since I know I love you more than she loves her Sonic!" The pinkette, noticing that there was now an empty spot beside the speedster, settled down and nuzzled his side.

Stiff, Sonic glared at Shadow, who had moved to take Amy's former spot. "Shadow, you traitor!"

"Stop yelling," was all the striped one had to say.

The blue blur faced Tails, begging with his eyes. "Help," he squeaked.

Tails glanced between his bro and the girl on his arm. He regrettably shrugged and mouthed, "Sorry...!"

Sonic subtly winced when Amy squeezed him.

He was doomed.

Sonic ran back to spin attack the Mega, only to bounce off and get hit.

Knuckles was standing on one of its treads, punching but not making a dent. He growled before trying to grab it; that didn't work either. "Man!"

Sticks ferally yelled and jumped at the robot, futilely whacking it with her boomerang until it knocked her away with a flick of its finger.

Eggman chuckled evilly. "Tails! Deploy the photon bombs!"

Tails hopped over a blast from a robotic bee and gave the doctor a pointed look.

Eggman suddenly remembered. "…Oh right."

Knuckles wasn't even watching the show at the moment, still entertained by Sonic's misfortune. "Comfortable over there, Sonic?"

The hero didn't answer him, resisting the new yet inexplicably strong urge to flip the echidna off.

The doctor released the bombs himself. They shot out of the Mega bot and circled around the heroes. One targeted Tails, blowing up. The attacking Bee bot was destroyed and Tails was sent flying, rescued from careening off the cliff by UT. Another bomb landed between Knuckles and Amy, pushing the echidna back a bit and throwing Amy into Sonic's arms.

Amy happily squealed in Sonic's ear, wiggling around.

The speedster tried to peel her off, but she had a vice grip.

Hopefully the thing would pity him.

"Sticks! Set Knuckles up!" Sonic shouted.

The badger hit the third bomb into the air. Knuckles jumped up high and spiked the sphere into Mega's eye. The bomb exploded, thrusting the robot backwards. It toppled over the cliff and fell into the ocean.

"No!" Eggman groaned in frustration before marching back into his lair, Orbot trailing after him.

The human slowly shook his head, knowing that he would have to get used to this.

They all went over to Tails and UT once the doors sealed. "Thanks for the rescue, guys."

"Hey," Knuckles gestured at the small bot, "We couldn't have done it without UT."

Sonic smiled. "I think we'll be going on lots more adventures with UT from now on."

"I agree," Sticks added.

"'I'm going to destroy that stupid robot.'"

The badger promptly picked the mech up and hurled it into the water. Tails clenched his fists in anger while she just crossed her arms. "Sorry, Tails. Had to be done."

It faded to black.

"I loved that episode!" Amy laughed.

"Of course you did…" Sonic muttered under his breath.

Knuckles grinned, tone filled with mirth. "We did learn some interesting things."

"Knux, watch your back from now on, 'kay?"

"Besides…that." Tails gestured to a captured Sonic. "I kinda like it because-"

"It doesn't matter why you like it." Shadow adjusted the ice on his face, stress ball laying in his lap. "Cut the chat and play the next damn one."

The echidna was going to do just that – because he did have a particular jewel thief to worry about – but then a bright light filled the air, blinding all of them.

When it faded away, Sonic couldn't help but to groan. "Oh you gotta be kiddin' me."

Eggman gaped, not understanding why. "Metal Sonic?!"

There – in the middle of the floor – stood the metallic Sonic replica, his hard blue hide reflecting the lights above. His back was to the hostages, facing the large television. However, at Eggman's question, Metal turned to him and cocked his head, like he didn't know what was going on either.

Everyone was tensed, wondering just what in the world.

Metal's red opticals flashed, his monotonous voice piercing the air. "Why have you disrobed? It is unsightly."

Eggman scowled as he folded his arms across his chest. "That's not important! What is important is why are you here?" This whole situation was a mess! Eggman had been keeping Metal a secret for a future scheme! He had been in the middle of rebuilding him – planning on not replacing his memory and personality chips to avoid having a bot with an attitude – so he shouldn't even be finished right now! So what-

"Are you going senile in your old age, doctor? My objective has not strayed. I have been activated and brought here for one blatant reason." Sonic's muscles locked up when those red eyes found him. "To eliminate my inferior copy."

Metal lunged.

Whoa ho ho! A cliffhanger! Wonder what's gonna happen next? Probably something hilarious.

Yeah, I changed my mind about Metal. So many ideas have been pitched to me, and I just couldn't leave him out!

Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome!