Disclaimer- I don't own the games or the show.
Who's ready to crack some Eggheads?
Sonic was constantly squirming in his seat, unable to get comfortable in his terrible condition – that he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy. The worst part was that it lingered. Hopefully his running wouldn't be affected by this. "You guys can't spare at least…one ounce of sympathy for me?"
Knuckles scoffed. If he hadn't been the one targeted, then maybe. But as it was… "You deserve it after getting the dumb idea from your even dumber alternate self."
Metal wholeheartedly agreed. "It was a complete lapse in judgement, copy. I would say that you should learn from this painful lesson, but you have never done so in the past."
Sonic went to cross his legs, but a pained jolt from a particular…region stopped that action right then and there. "Lesson learned." He should've gotten Shadow. He would gladly take a broken nose over this.
"My stay here became a bit more bearable." Shadow propped his head on his palm, leaning against the arm of the couch. "Especially if you keep hurting yourself." Sonic's pain was his gain.
Tails wrung his hands together. "Yeah, don't have any more ideas like those, Sonic… I don't think you'll survive another kick."
Sonic violently cringed just thinking about it.
Amy threw him a comforting smile. "Don't worry! It should get better in…uh…" She glanced at the rest of the males for help, not knowing how long the discomfort lasted.
"Hopefully the pain will last we leave this blasted place." The weak glare Eggman received didn't faze him at all. The doctor just crossed his arms and reluctantly focused on the television. He read the title of the episode, and he heavily groaned. "Please don't tell me that there will be more than one of my irritating double…"
"Considering that 'Egghead' is what my copy's copy calls the alternative doctor, and now it is plural…" Metal glanced back at a fuming Eggman. "…the chances are high that more inadequate humans will make this experience all the more unbearable."
Tails hummed to himself. "If there are more Eggmans…then that might actually be very bad for our other selves…"
"Yeah." Knuckles rolled his eyes. "They can barely stop one Eggman's plans."
Shadow's mood nearly rose at the prospect of the heroes losing and potentially ending this little show, but then he remembered that no matter what happened, they still had hours of damn content to watch. A prominent frown marred his muzzle as he played the episode. At least seeing them lose would be something to look forward to.
There was a thunderstorm raging above Eggman's island, lightning brightening up the darkened sky.
"Wait…" A thought just popped into Tails' mind. His brows were furrowed. "If he's on an island, then how do people come and go so easily? Like Dave! He just ran away!"
"You do make a point!" Amy now noticed how weird that was. "He ran off the island? So did he swim all the way back?" If he did, wow did he have amazing stamina for a scrawny little thing.
Knuckles imagined Dave struggling to keep his head above rough waves. "Let's just say he swam. That'll teach him for being annoying."
Eggman was in a similarly as dark room with many machines, laughing evilly while working on something. "Yes, my minions… This may very well be my greatest creation yet!"
Thunder and lightning increased outside.
Creation? Eggman just accepted his fate. He was doomed to watch multiple clones of him flounder around and fail at being villainous.
Why oh why did his other self have to be so imaginative?
Orbot and Cubot were hugging each other, trembling, while Eggman plucked a hair from his mustache and placed it into a device similar to an oven. His DNA was transmitted through a blue tube into another compartment.
"Yes…yes!" Eggman smiled wickedly. "Rise my creation, rise!"
Sonic chuckled, it coming out breathier than normal. "He's seriously cloning himself? I mean, I don't blame him. Robot company isn't the best company in the world."
Eggman reluctantly agreed, but he didn't dare say it out loud. He'd never hear the end of it. Spending time in vast bases surrounded by deadly robots got lonely from time to time.
"I mean…ignoring the that Metal constantly wants to kill you and refuses the fact that I'm a lady-"
"It is not fact."
Amy kept going like the robot hadn't spoken. "-he's not bad company. He seriously could be worse."
"Like Omochao." Sonic inwardly shuddered. "Yeah, Metal, thanks for not being an annoying pint-sized bag of bolts that I wanted to constantly kick into the nearest dumpster."
Metal cocked his head at him. "I sense latent anger."
"Omochao taught me that there is such a thing as being 'too helpful'."
More DNA was transferred, lightning flashed, and the nozzles attached to the machine flew off, filling the room with ominous smoke. Eggman continued to laugh throatily; his helper bots were still fearing for their lives.
That was until a high-pitched ding echoed around the room, simultaneously turning the overhead lights on.
Eggman grabbed whatever was in the compartment and presented it to Orbot and Cubot with a victorious chuckle. He was holding six cookies on a tray.
Knuckles was surprised, but he knew that he shouldn't have been. Expect the unexpected was the motto for this show, along with 'it's okay to be stupid'. "He baked…cookies…?"
Amy scrunched her nose up. "They probably taste like sweat, desperation…and pieces of Meh burger he has to get caught in his hair."
Tails shook his head to oust that imaginary taste. "Yuck…"
Eggman avoided thinking about it as well. Instead, he asked, "Why would cookies be the first thing to come up with? What is he even-" He cut himself off when it clicked. He was both dreading this outcome and slightly curious to what would happen next. "Hmm."
Knuckles rose a brow at him. "Got anything to say, Eggman?"
"I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough."
Orbot blinked in confusion. "All that for…cookies?"
"Evil cookies!" Eggman mended, picking one of the baked goods up.
Tails snapped his fingers, understanding. "He put his DNA into the cookies to turn the heroes evil!"
Sonic blinked. "Whoa what? Really?" If that was the case, then this episode was about to get real interesting.
"Yeah!" Tails affirmed. "And the title of this makes sense too!" He then added more quietly, "But still…cookies?"
"Evil doubles of ourselves…" Knuckles pondered aloud before derisively snorting. "Honestly, the only one who might be a problem would be the other Sonic."
"Just like here!" Sonic grinned, more than glad that the feeling was slowly but surely fading away. "Oh man, I'd make the best bad guy!"
"You'd be the best at talking people to death." Shadow bluntly muttered.
"That'd be another one of my super evil powers! Mwa-haha!"
Tails endured Sonic's terrible evil laugh. "What about me? I'd make an amazing bad guy!" He was smart, creative, and could dive-bomb anyone he wanted!
Sonic ruffled his bangs. "Nah, little bro. You're too fluffy to be evil. And plus, you'd just be like Eggy, and you see how he ended up."
While Tails slumped, Eggman growled deeply. "I have you know-!"
Knuckles didn't let him finish. The echidna was smirking at the blue blur. "You? Evil? You'd be taken care of after one hit!" Sonic gasped, but before he could defend himself – anyone would be out for the count after that – Knuckles continued, "And yeah, you got speed, but you don't have the strength to back it up."
"I have more strength than you do speed, Knux!" Sonic taunted right back. "Your sprint is my speed-walk at best."
"I'm not that slow!"
Amy then hopped into the conversation, gesturing to herself. "If Sonic was the best bad guy, I'd be his just as evil girl-"
Sonic really didn't need her to finish that sentence. "You're pretty strong, Ames, but you couldn't take me on!" The speedster glanced over to his rival. "The only one who'd have a chance would be Shads! But he's not even good at bein' a bad guy, so it wouldn't even matter."
Shadow knew that he shouldn't get riled up, but dammit. "What in the hell do you mean by that, Faker?" He could blow this whole room to smithereens if he had a chance to.
Sonic cheekily grinned, shrugging. "Oh I dunno… You're just so wishywashy! I know how to stick to one side in a fight, you on the other hand…" He laughed while Shadow scowled. "I appreciate you choosin' the right side in the end, but if we all were evil, then I'd totally kick your indecisive butt!"
Shadow had to keep himself from launching at the other to show how 'indecisive' he was. Only the Faker would use his good morals against him.
"I am the darkest of days, Sonic." Shadow threw him a heated glare. "I'm the worst villain, not you." He had almost sided with aliens against the human race amidst at near apocalypse, and he had almost blown up the damn planet. He wasn't going to argue with Sonic. He was the best, period.
Sonic just waved him off. He had proved his point well enough.
"Sweet!" Cubot raised a hand. "I'll go get the evil milk!" He left the room, the other two watching him go.
"Don't forget the evil ham!" Amy chirped, giggling when Eggman face-palmed.
"And the evil toaster." Sonic jeered Metal's way. "Just in case the cookies get cold."
"…Who toasts cookies?" Tails asked.
Metal clenched a fist. "Annoying copies who do not care about dying at the hands of their superior."
The scene changed to a cozy shack. A robotic arm extended to place a basket of evil cookies and milk near the doorstep before disappearing.
Sonic was exiting the shack. When he got near his door, he sniffed around until he found the basket. He grinned happily. "Wow, cookies!"
"He's not suspicious of them at all?" Knuckles simply shook his head. Their other selves would probably walk into a minefield if ice cream was promised. "A normal person would be like 'Oh, where did these come from?'"
"Not really…" Tails opposed. "Any treats left at our doorstep get eaten instantly. Especially if they're cookies."
Sonic chuckled. "You wouldn't understand, Knux. You don't get treats delivered to that big rock of yours often, do ya?"
"I get plenty, thank you!" Knuckles lied through his teeth. His life was devoid of free sugary treats. One regret he had living up on Angel Island.
Sonic picked one up. "Hope this turns out better than the last time someone left baked goods on my doorstep."
There was a flashback showing a large cake sitting on Sonic's porch with a candle on top. Then, Knuckles popped halfway out of the cake, holding sparklers in his hands and smiling.
Knuckles sighed heavily. He was hoping that his twin wouldn't show up in this episode either, but that went down the drain. "I'm not even going to ask…"
"I am, because that's just…" Tails scratched his head. "What is he doing, exactly?"
"'What' isn't the question." Knuckles grumbled. "We need to know 'why'."
Sonic stared at him blankly for a long moment until the smile melted away. "Awkward?" Knuckles asked.
"Awkward." Sonic agreed.
Sonic nodded. "Knux, don't ever do that."
"I wouldn't even if you paid me."
The echidna looked a bit flustered. "It'll uh…" He glanced at the ongoing sparklers. "…just be another minute."
The flashback ended with Sonic shaking himself out of that memory. He was about to take a bite of the cookie, but a message tone gained his attention.
He pressed a button on it and Tails' voice came through. "Hey Sonic, are you there? I need a little help."
"Is it urgent, Tails?" Sonic wistfully stared at the cookie in his hand. "I'm sort of in the middle of something."
Tails was at his workshop hiding behind a bench from his out-of-control vacuum robot. He hastily avoided a flying wench. "Um, yeah?" He then ducked out of sight.
"Uh oh, Tails." Knuckles' lips twitched upwards. "A robot tearing apart the place? Looks like your double might be on the same playing field as the other twins."
"I still have faith!" Tails defended his other self. He was still way less uh…quirky than the other ones. "It was just one mess-up! And plus, his cool inventions cancel out the ones that go wrong!"
Back at Sonic's shack, the hedgehog gave in. "Okay. I'm on my way, buddy." He dropped the cookie in the basket before running off.
Amy pursed her lips. "Does he not know how to multitask? It's a cookie! I don't want him to eat it, but at the same time, it can't be that hard to eat and run at the same time!"
Relief and disappointment at his double's actions swirled within Sonic.
"Seeing any blue pincushion that idiotic should make my day." Eggman began, "But right now, it's severely irritating to watch."
The rest of the room shared his sentiments.
Eggman was shown watching the events on his large monitor. He punched the table in front of him in anger. "Come back and eat that cookie, you mutant blue rat!"
Knuckles pointed out more of the stupidity they have to put up with. "And another thing…even if they do turn evil, there's no way they're going to work for Eggman."
"Yeah!" Amy played with one her quills. "It'll be like six Eggmans working together." She regarded the doctor. "Would you want to work with yourself?"
"Absolutely not." Eggman had already worked with a younger version of himself and did not go well at all.
"If they all act like the doctor, then all of them will be incompetent," Metal said.
"Maybe they'll all take themselves out somehow."
Sonic rolled his eyes. "Shadow, homicide isn't the only answer, y'know."
"But it is an option."
The doctor stood up in alarm when Knuckles appeared on the screen, noticing the basket. "No no no!"
Knuckles shook his head in exasperation. "One stupid evil echidna, coming right up."
The red echidna grabbed a cookie and the bottle of milk. "Don't mind if I do!" He tossed the dessert into the air before catching it in his mouth. Knuckles promptly threw the bottle on the air as well-
Tails was suddenly concerned. He didn't want the other Knuckles to lose any more brain cells, if he had more to lose. "Is he really going to eat the bottle of milk too?" That was the opposite of healthy and safe.
-before catching it in his other hand and attempting to drink it.
Tails let out a relieved breath, and Knuckles was actually impressed that his twin didn't choke on glass.
Nothing came out at first. He shook it, and suddenly milk splashed on his face. He almost instantly fell down out of frame, an orange light glowing brightly.
Of course it would be showy, Sonic thought. He guessed every Eggman shared that trait. "Too bad that there wasn't any evil ham."
"Can't you forget about that already, cactus?!"
"Nope!"
With Sonic and Tails, they were using chairs to try to fend off the vacuum bot.
"Back!" Sonic shouted, swinging his 'weapon'. "Back I say!"
The vacuum bot didn't give up, continuing to attack.
"Uh…can't they just press the off button?" Amy questioned. "I swear they struggle with the simplest things!"
"Also, that robot seems easy to destroy." Metal added. "The alternative copy should have been torn it apart. That universe requires help and needs to put out of its misery."
Shadow grunted. "Tell me something I don't know."
The basket of cookies was sitting alone until Amy strolled up.
Amy slumped. She thought maybe her twin wouldn't find them.
She gripped the handle, looking delighted. "Aw…I knew Sonic wouldn't forget my birthday!" She took a cookie. "It's four months late, but it's the thought that counts!"
The pinkette didn't know what to make of that. "What in the…That doesn't even make any sense! My logic for Sonic loving me without question is way better than hers, right?"
Complete and utter silence.
Amy whipped her head in Sonic's direction and asked louder, "Right?!"
Caught in the middle, Tails subtly flinched and leaned into his brother's side. Sonic felt a cold sweat form on his brow. A twitching smile grew. "You're right, Ames! Absolutely right! Hundred percent! You are less crazy than your double! Guaranteed!"
Amy smiled. "I knew that you'd agree!
"You know…" Tails whispered to Sonic. "I think she would be the best bad guy…"
Sonic couldn't argue that.
Eggman, who was still watching, growled in frustration. "Gah! Why would he leave your birthday present on his porch? Where's the logic there?!"
"Exactly!" Amy felt extremely verified.
Eggman doubted there was any logic in that reality.
Amy ate the cookie and suddenly froze up. She yelled in surprise as she fell to the ground. An orange light emitted from her not a second later.
"Two down," Knuckles uttered.
Sonic and Tails were having a rough time with the robot. The kit was running away from the bot, but it managed to suck him up. Sonic pulled Tails free only to end up harshly crashing into the nearby wall.
Sonic tapped his foot on the ground. "They are really takin' their time with that bot, huh?"
Eggman slammed his hand on the table, glaring at his monitor showing the remaining cookies. "That's it! The last two cookies are for Sonic, and nobody else!"
"Two?" Tails repeated. "There were six to start with! Knuckles and Amy ate one each, so where did the other two go?"
Sonic snickered. "Welp. There are two wild birds out there schemin' something evil. I feel really bad for some random person's head right now."
Sticks was then seen taking one of the cookies. Eggman was visibly upset. "Oh come on!"
She had walked behind a rock before taking a bite.
"Hey!" Eggman exclaimed. "Put that back!"
Eggman resisted the urge to pull out his 'stache hairs. "She can't hear you, you imbecile!"
Metal produced a scoff. "The definition of irony."
The same orange light from before glowed brightly.
"So it's between Sonic and Tails now!" Amy observed. "Who's not going to eat it?"
Tails tapped his chin. "…Sonic, probably. The whole time Eggman wanted so badly for Sonic to turn evil, so with how this show is…"
"The complete opposite will take place!" Sonic scratched his nose, lips curled upwards. "Which isn't that different from the norm around here."
Eggman simply took a deep breath and kept his blood pressure low.
Amy frowned in worry. "So the other Sonic's going to have to fight his friends? I don't want to see that!"
"You've got no other choice." Shadow wouldn't mind seeing the other Faker take a beating. "So just watch."
Sonic was now running along the next of the vacuum bot. Getting to its head, Sonic tied the robot by the nozzle. However, the increased built-up pressure caused the invention to explode. Dust was scattered everywhere.
Tails was appalled. "Look at this mess! I just vacuumed!"
Tails couldn't help it. He chuckled.
Knuckles didn't blame him. "I guess it's acceptable for him because he's still a kid. And he helps more than hurts." Unlike some other members of Team Sonic. Or rather, most. Two of the five were bearable, but he didn't know how long Sonic's twin would hold out.
With the lone cookie, a wild moose was approaching the basket. It sniffed the treat.
Sonic blinked. "An evil moose? Never would've thought."
"Get…Get out of here!" Eggman ordered the animal even though his words wouldn't be heard.
The moose ran away when Sonic and Tails walked up.
"So yeah. A feather duster might be the better way to go," Sonic advised before glancing down at the basket. "Oh, hey! I forgot about these." He gasped when he realized that people had been taking them. "What the heck? There's only one left!"
"Yes…" Eggman whispered to himself. "Eat it! Eat the cookie!"
Eggman wanted to cover his ears and glue his eyelids shut. "Does he have to sound so desperate?" Both Sonic and Metal glanced at him, and he glared hard. "Not. A. Word."
Sonic picked the last one up and was about to shove it into his mouth, but Tails spoke up. "Sonic, wait!" The kit pointed to the food item. "Don't eat that cookie!"
Tails perked up. "Did he notice something about it?"
"If he did, that's impressive!" Amy exclaimed.
Eggman was thrown aback. "What?"
"Why?" Sonic curiously asked.
Tails scratched his arm meekly. "Well…chocolate chunk is my favorite…"
Tails was slightly disappointed – his other self could've been awesome there – but then he realized that he could seriously go for a chocolate chunk cookie right now.
"I'm calling it. Tails is done." Knuckles linked his hands behind his head. "So….an evil genius, an evil idiot, an evil girlfriend-" He shot Sonic a grin; it wasn't appreciated. "-an evil feral badger, and Eggman are going to be against Sonic."
"The doctor is still going to lose," Metal confidently stated.
Eggman couldn't bring himself to oppose. Somehow, all of this was going to go bad for his double.
"You gotta be kidding me!" the doctor cried in anguish.
Sonic sighed. "Fine." He tossed the cookie to the fox. "I'll just go inside and make a sandwich or something…" He went into his shack, leaving Tails outside.
"Using regularham."
"Shut up, you rat!"
The kit bit into the cookie and hummed at the taste. "Mmm, chocolate chunk!" He swallowed. "Ooo, with a hint of cinnamon! And a touch of…" Tails collapsed, and there was that orange light again. A shaky hand rose. "…evil…"
Knuckles had to say it. "So, like Dave, Sonic has selective deafness too? He had to hear that."
Sonic shrugged. "Making sandwiches is an art. You need upmost concentration, Knux!"
Tails glanced at him. "What, are you Professor Pickle now?"
"Just a bit."
Eggman's lair was then shown.
"You'll never get away with this, Eggman!" Amy's disembodied voice shouted.
"Sonic will see you coming from a mile away!" Tails added.
Amy cocked her head. "Wait…does that mean they're not evil? Did Eggman just kidnap them?"
Tails frowned at the screen. "Good question…"
Inside of the base, Knuckles, Amy, Tails, and Sticks were huddled around a table with lush mustaches. All of them wore malicious smirks.
Shadow was so glad that he wasn't there.
Amy gasped, rubbing her cheeks. "No! No no no! My cute faccceeee!"
Sonic was doubled over laughing while Knuckles and Tails watched, traumatized. "What…" The echidna couldn't form the rest of his words, his mind too shocked to function properly.
Tails' jaw was scrapping the ground. "Uh…I guess…the cookies…had side effects?"
"One in particular." Metal marginally shook his head. "And it is quite unsightly."
Eggman needed this episode to be over, immediately. His mustache was one of a kind! Not just anyone should be able to wear it! This was just insulting.
"Yeah!" Sticks clenched a fist. "If we wanna trap Sonic, we got to think like Sonic!"
Sonic struggled to rein himself back in. He was struggling for breath, laughing too hard. "This…is…gold! Who…cares about them being…evil!" He pointed at the TV. "Just…Just look!" His chortles filled the room as he held his sides.
Amy wriggled in her seat. "I feel violated…" This was just so wrong.
Tails covered his upper lip as if he'd grow hair there in the next second.
Knuckles simply didn't focus on his other self. It was the only thing he could do.
While they were freaking out, Eggman compared his 'stache to theirs and felt a bit better at seeing that his was lusher.
Eggman was behind them all, grinning widely. "This is even better than I hoped! Five evil genius masterminds!"
Knuckles glanced at him. "Actually, I'm an evil mastermind of average intelligence."
Sonic wiped away a tear. "This is the funniest thing…I've ever seen!"
"I wish my twin hated chocolate chunk…" Tails mumbled.
Knuckles nearly rolled his eyes at what his double said before muttering, "Hopefully they find a razor fast."
The doctor deadpanned. "Five evil genius masterminds…give or take." He then smugly yelled, "Working together under my leadership, we'll be unstoppable!"
Amy pushed him out of the way. "Here's the plan!" She began moving around figurines of themselves on a map. "We wait at the beach shack for Sonic, and then bombard it with an all-out robot assault from five different sides!"
Amy fought to ignore the giant bush on her twin's lip. "She's really evil…no gf would want to do that to their boyfriend!" Her breath then hitched when a thought came to her. "What if Sonic stops liking her because of what she looks like?! Oh no!"
All would not be lost, Sonic thought as he calmed back down.
"No, no, no!" Sticks stepped up with a badnik figurine. "What we should do is tunnel underneath to bypass his defenses!"
"What defenses does he have?" Metal questioned the badger's flawed thinking. "He is a single hedgehog on foot. Just go attack him. Spill blood."
Shadow stifled a yawn. "I doubt they'll get to the attacking part."
Tails had a small Bee bot toy. "We should attack from above by plane!"
That was a good plan, but Tails really didn't want them to go through with it.
Knuckles pounded the table with his fist. "We have to get rid of his stupid friends first!"
Knuckles wanted to hit his twin. Very hard.
Amy scowled. "Robo-assault!"
"Tunnel!" Sticks emphasized.
"Airplane!" Tails piped up.
"Robo-assault!"
"Tunnel!"
"Airplane!"
Knuckles rose his arms and shouted, "I'm yelling words!"
Knuckles figured that his fists weren't enough. He needed a crowbar.
Eggman had enough. "Calm down! Even though you're evil geniuses now-" He glanced at Knuckles. "-for the most part, you lack experience. Time for a crash course in villainy!"
"And Eggy's gonna teach them?" Sonic still couldn't believe that his alternate friends had gotten mustaches. What's was next? Them blowing up to the body size of an egg? "Yeah, there's no way they're gonna beat my twin!"
"Usually multiple heads are better than one, but…" Amy shuddered. "Those mustaches will haunt my nightmares…"
Later, Eggman was standing in the front of a room with a chalkboard while the rest were sitting in desks. He held up a finger. "Evil lesson number one: berating your underlings!" He addressed one of his helper bots. "Orbot, would you kindly hand out the work sheets?"
Orbot nodded. "Gladly, sir."
He moved forward to do so, but Eggman stopped the robot with a ruler. "Not that work sheet, you dunderhead!" Eggman knocked the papers out of Orbot's arms and into the air, regarding his students. "See? It's that easy!"
The sheets landed on the desks, and Sonic's former friends wrote down notes.
Eggman hummed. "For being evil, and basically 'clones' of me, they are being quite submissive."
Metal crossed his arms. "All you need to do is wait until they realize that your copy does not know what he is doing. Then chaos would surely ensue."
A little white later, they all were in Eggman's monitor room.
"Lesson number four…" Eggman began. "…Surveillance!" All eyes focused on the large screen, which was showing different parts of the lair. "There's nothing more evil than recording your subjects without their knowledge."
Tails glanced around the room before settling his gaze back onto the screen. "By that definition…does that make us evil? We are watching them…"
Sonic shook his head. "Nah. All this is probably pre-recorded. It's like watchin' a reality TV show, so we all – well, most of us – are still good!"
Tails nodded before asking, "Wait…do you think that our twins are watching our lives right now?"
The speedster pursed his lips. "Huh, never thought of that, Tails. They could be!"
Knuckles snorted. "If they are, then they'll be in for the shock of their lives once they learn that I am not a buff airhead."
"And that I am confident in the pursuit of love!" Amy boldly exclaimed.
"And that their adventures are children's play compared to ours!" Sonic snickered, revisiting memories of taking on hordes of robots, conquering a water god, and ending a near apocalypse. Good times.
Sapphire orbs glimpsed over to an unenthused striped hedgie. "And they might be terrified of Shadow, depending on what they watch…" Tails brought up.
Shadow believed that was a fair assumption. Metal, not so much. "Him? They should fear me more than the Ultimate Lifeform. Like my copy said before, his objective is never stable. I never lose sight of mine."
"Oh you will when I crack your damn head open," the striped Mobian borderline snarled.
Sonic wiggled his finger at him. "No Shads! Bad! Don't even think about hurting him!" Another scare like the one before would probably give him a heart attack.
Shadow glared at his rival before pointedly looking away. Faker had a point. He'd wait to dismantle Metal after they were freed from his hellhole.
Metal didn't appreciate the help at all. "I do not need you protecting me, copy."
Sonic rolled his eyes. "You're welcome." He was more protecting the well-being of everyone else anyway.
The monitor stopped on Orbot and Cubot playing around. Cubot was wearing a Viking helmet and chanting, "Ota ho ha! Ota ho ha!" while Orbot bowed in front of him.
Eggman held his head in his hands. "Get me a monkey wrench. I'll fix that."
Knuckles gestured to the screen. "What, the security camera?"
The human shook his head. "No."
"Do not fix them. Destroy them," Metal adamantly said.
"I would do that for him if I could." Eggman sighed.
In a different room with stools and mirrors, the four 'stached anthros were grooming their faces.
'Why' was repeated many times in Amy's mind like a frenzied chant. "Just cut them off! There have to be trimmers, razors, or scissors somewhere!"
Knuckles ran a hand down his face. "It's pointless, Amy. We just have to endure it."
Eggman was pacing behind them. "Lesson number seven: mustache care and maintenance. Fifty strokes every morning, but don't overdo it!"
Tails paused in his combing. "Or what?"
Sticks crossed her arms, showing her poofed up facial hair. "Don't ask."
Eggman almost felt bad for her. He'd have his whole day ruined if his mustache was uncooperative.
In the classroom again, Eggman was pointing at numbers on the chalkboard. "Lesson number twelve: lesson numbering. Evil lessons should be numbered as followed: '1, 4, 7, 12, 16'."
Tails tilted his head. "I might not be evil, but I'm pretty sure that's not a real rule."
Eggman rubbed his temples, hoping the effects of the medicine would last until they got out of this house. "I'm positive that he made that rule up because he forgot what numbers were between one and four." He honestly wouldn't be surprised.
The group was positioned outside now. "Lesson number sixteen…" Eggman held up and aimed a ray gun, his four followers having some as well. "…Target practice!"
Shadow's interest slightly rose at the appearance of guns.
All of them fired at the panicking helper bots.
"We must procure assistance…" Orbot suggested while ducking under a blast.
"We don't have time for that!" Cubot argued, avoiding the multitude of shots. "Let's just get help!" They both fled the scene.
"I don't get them." Knuckles frowned. "So, they're on Eggman's side, but they frequently ask the heroes for help. That's like me going to Eggman and asking him to stitch up a cut or something."
If that ever were to happen, Eggman would slam the door in the echidna's face. "There's nothing to get, guardian. My double is so bad at being evil that even his stupid robots constantly go rogue."
Sonic was relaxing in a hammock strung up in his shack. He was peacefully watching TV.
Sonic crossed his legs, only a soft pang coming from them now. "I'm not even mad at him. I mean, everyone has their own house – even Tails for some odd reason – so he can't know that they all turned evil, growing the most ridiculous 'staches I've ever seen."
"And now back to Pawn Shop Wars: Gogoba Edition!" a television announcer said.
A white citizen with a grass hat and large ears was conversating with a clerk, holding an item. "Can I afford to give you two hundred for this? No, but you seem like a nice fellow, and I suppose my children could go hungry for a couple nights…"
Tails flinched. "Harsh… I wouldn't ever want to talk to a guy like that!"
"Yeah, he'll most likely find some way to make you feel guilty for breathing," Knuckles said.
Twigs cracked outside of Sonic's home, and he turned his attention to where the sound came from. Orbot was standing at his window. The red bot raised a hand in greeting. "Hello…"
In the lair, they were in the classroom.
Eggman was grinning. "So far so good! Now the written exam. The topic is…how to capture Sonic. You may begin!"
The students started writing, but then was interrupted when Sonic burst into the room. "Pencils down, Eggheads!" he ordered while glaring at the doctor.
Sonic blinked. "What? Is he not going to address that his friends have hairy caterpillars on their lips?"
"I'm glad that he's ignoring them!" Amy piped up. "I'd be so embarrassed if I was seen like that!"
Eggman wasn't fazed. "Clones, change of plans! Your written exam is now a practical!" He thrusted a finger in Sonic's direction. "ATTACK!"
Tails, Amy, and Sticks got into ready stances, but Knuckles instead charged at Eggman. The doctor stopped his attempt, turning him around. "Not me, Sonic!"
Knuckles' eyes widened in realization. "Oh…right. I hope that doesn't affect my grade…"
"Evil mastermind of average intelligence my ass." Every episode Knuckles' double appeared in just really wrote in stone how lucky Knuckles was to not have met him in person.
Tails frowned in confusion. "I just…What exactly happened to him?" The other echidna was worrisomely missing common sense.
"Enough of this!" Amy materialized her piko piko hammer. "I'm taking charge!" She swings her weapon at Sonic, who skillfully dodges.
"Don't hurt his beautiful face, you mustached hag!"
Multiple eyes stared at Amy in shock.
Amy, suddenly embarrassed, cleared her throat. "Sorry. Went too far."
"Amy, what are you doing?" the blue blur asked before dodging another powerful swing. "You guys are my friends!" He ducked a swift attack.
Knuckles smirked. "Your evil friends." He then looked at Eggman for approval.
The man frowned. "Stop sucking up!"
Eggman addressed Knuckles. "I've never been so appreciative of your stubborn and gullible yet intelligent personality."
Knuckles didn't even care that it was a passive aggressive insult. "Understandable."
Amy, Sticks, and Knuckles all charged at Sonic together, making him strain to avoid from getting hit.
Sonic looked at them. "You guys! You gotta snap out of it! This isn't you! It's the cookies!"
He put some distance between himself and them, but then Tails crept up behind Sonic in his own hovercraft. A group of robots were following him. The kit laughed menacingly as they surrounded the azure speedster.
Sonic didn't like what he was seeing. "Uh…what? Take those robots out, other me! What are you doing?" It wasn't like he was going to hurt his friends while he was at it! What, did they only start battling Eggman like a couple months ago, or something?
Eggman strolled closer, clapping. "Wonderful work, everyone! Finally! After all my years of trying, I've captured Sonic the hedgehog!"
"Years?" Sonic gaped. "So they have had the experience!"
"It is just that they are simply idiotic. There is no other explanation," Metal provided. "Even you are smarter than your double."
Sonic disregarded that jab. "That just makes ten times worse! They've fought Eggy many times and still-!"
Tails bit his lip. "I kinda feel bad for them! Like, I wish we could teach them how to actually deal with Eggman!"
The doctor shook his head. "You don't need to, because my double is so inept that their ways of 'handling him' actually works."
"I'm sure that if we somehow could send Charmy and Cream there, then they could take of Eggman better than our twins could…" Knuckles muttered.
"What do you mean you captured Sonic?" Amy questioned heatedly. "This is clearly the result of my leadership!"
Metal gestured at the screen. "There it is. Right there. The point where the doctor's poorly made plan crumbles."
Tails narrowed his eyes. "You were losing until I deployed the robots!"
"They have too much pride…" Tails uttered, watching things unravel.
Sticks glared at the both of them. "With all of you arguing, I can't hear the voices in my head!"
"I'm an evil mastermind of average intelligence!" Knuckles' voice rose above all others.
Amy furrowed her brow. "Those two…are really something, aren't they?"
Knuckles explosively sighed. "Understatement of the freaking millennium."
Then, the mustached former heroes turned on each other, blasts from multiple ray guns making the room a war zone. Eggman gasped and ducked for cover until Sonic ran over and yanked him behind a chalkboard.
Sonic put a hand on his hip, addressing the recovering doctor. "This didn't work out as you planned, huh Eggface?"
"That's it?" Sonic could think of many stronger ways of satisfyingly rubbing the situation into the human's face. "Tease him more! Hurt his feelings! Make him cry!"
Eggman scowled at him. "How many times, rodent, have I told you that I do not cry!"
"Many times. I don't listen to lies though."
"Why won't those other 'me's' listen to me?" Eggman nearly whined. "I only want what's best for me!"
Eggman did too, but he usually thought about his plans beforehand.
Sonic peered around the chalkboard and focused on the DNA machine across the room. He hummed in thought. "Hmm, I think I know how to fix this."
"You better!" Sonic huffed. "To make up for your lack of snarky remarks!"
"Do you?" Eggman was relieved. "Boy, that will be great." Sonic ran off into the fray, unnoticed by the human who continued on. "'Cause I…I got so much going on, and I…My plate is full, you know. I've got…I've looked at the calendar, and…"
"It has to be something in the water." Knuckles reasoned. "Because this is insane! Yeah, Eggman talks a lot of nonsense-" The human beside him weakly growled. "-but it was never this annoying!"
As Eggman talked in the background, Sonic rushed and destroyed a few Bee bots before getting close to the DNA machine like he wanted. Sonic plucked a small quill from his head and placed it in the oven-like machine.
Tails understood the other Sonic's plan. "So he's going to make cookies with his DNA, and make everyone…like him?"
Sonic perked up, grinning. "He's gonna do that? That'll be-"
"Horrifyingly annoying." Shadow hoped that the kit was wrong. There were only so many Sonics he could take before snapping. "I'd rather keep the four hairy doctor clones."
Sonic overdramatically gasped. "Shads! I thought we were friends! That hurts my feelings!"
"That's why I said it."
A cookie-
Only one? Eggman thought to himself before his gut dropped. …Oh no. No!
-was baked a swift moment later. Sonic opened the compartment, and the cookie went flying towards Eggman, who was still talking.
The doctor was stepping out from behind the chalkboard. "So yeah. If you can help me out with that, that will be-" The cookie landed in his mouth, cutting him off. His muscles started to violently twitch until he was a blue color, smiling wide. Sonic had returned to his side as the man shouted, "Let's crack these eggheads!"
Amy honestly didn't know what was worse. The mustaches or that blue monstrosity. "Now that is nightmare fuel."
Eggman and Sonic couldn't agree more.
"Eggy, promise me that you'll never make that oven." Sonic felt highly uncomfortable. This wasn't what he pictured, and he wanted it taken away immediately.
The doctor could only nod, the horror before him chasing comprehensible words away.
With those words, the blue allies sprinted forward and spin attacked multiple robots, bouncing off the bots and walls to destroy them. After landing, Eggman quickly sidestepped an attack from Knuckles. "I can get used to this!" he exclaimed before gracefully avoiding another one of the echidna's punches.
"This is probably the only time I've rooted for my double," Knuckles disappointingly said.
Sonic was again dodging Amy's hammer until he got an opening. He tripped the pinkette up, sending her crashing into Sticks.
"It's good that he's fighting them without actually hurting them…" Amy was partially relieved and partially scarred for life. "But, he seriously couldn't do that without changing Eggman?!"
Eggman was busy running away from Tails' rapid-fire blasts.
Sonic turned his attention to the human. "Hold them off, Eggman! I'll be right back!" He ran out of the room.
The blue blur sprinted all the way to Amy's home. He entered and picked up a brush full of her pink quills. Next, he headed for Tails' place, grabbing one of the fox's headphones. Then, he sought out Knuckles' workout bench on the beach. He found the echidna's headband.
Lastly, Sonic entered Sticks' burrow and came across a strange doll with her hairs in it. "Ew, gross!" He groaned before taking it.
Knuckles eyed the screen. "What was that?" Sticks was seriously crazy. Their doubles needed to drop her – and the guardian's twin – as soon as possible before she performed some type of voodoo.
He met back up with the blue Eggman, holding up four strands of fur. "Let's get baking!"
"Couldn't he just get the fur from the ones in the room…?" Tails questioned. With how fast Sonic could go, yanking a couple strands of fur from the distracted 'eggheads' would've been way easier.
"Better safe than sorry?" Sonic tried to defend his other self.
Eggman didn't bother explaining that their DNA had been altered, so it would've been pointless. He didn't want to be seen defending any blue hedgehog's actions.
Eggman donned an oven mitt with a grin.
A ding filled the air a short while later, and the doctor pulled out four baked cookies of different colors and quantity of hair. Eggman tossed them up into the air, and Sonic spin dashed them in separate directions, sending them into the mouths of his former friends.
"Now what if someone ate the wrong cookie?" Amy put out there after the tension left her. The ugly mustaches were gone, hopefully forever.
Knuckles had an answer. "Imagine the other me with your personality."
Both Amy and Sonic had never looked so terrified.
The echidna cracked a grin. "Exactly."
Tails felt his face. "I feel like myself again!"
"I'm also back to feeling like myself again." Knuckles chuckled. "Knock on wood…" He knocked on his head. "Who is it?"
Knuckles' grin fell faster than Eggman on a treadmill. Any enjoyment he got out of this experience was instantly wiped away whenever his double spoke.
"Yeah, and the best part is…now we're all on the same team!" Eggman gushed, and the others faced him. "We'll fight side-by-side, together!"
Tails shuddered. "That doesn't sound reassuring like it's supposed to."
Team Sonic shared unpleased looks, and Sticks hurled the last evil cookie in the doctor's direction.
Sonic – hastily getting rid of the mental picture of buffy Knuckles chasing him around and giggling crazily – cheered. "I don't know where she even got that from, but thank you Sticks!"
"One for all, and all for-" Eggman swallowed the cookie, turning him back to normal. His frown was prominent. "Okay, fun's over! I gotta get back to work! Evil doesn't brilliantly plan and execute itself, you know!" Eggman growled before walking off.
"Brilliantly is a massive stretch." Metal commented. That doctor was worse at evil than the one in the room, and that was saying tons.
"That episode was…" Tails couldn't find the right word for it. He was torn between interesting, horrifying, and… The kit glanced down at his belly when he felt it growl. He placed a hand on top of it. It was around lunch time. "Is anyone else hungry?"
Eggman rounded on him. "How can you focus on food after we've seen things that should not have been seen?"
The man's words went unanswered as Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles raised their hands. Shadow's stomach then imitated a whale's call. The striped hedgehog cursed under his breath something about mutiny.
Tails hopped out of his seat. "I'll see what we have!" He needed to do anything to forget about the 'eggheads' and the Sonic-Eggman.
"I'll go with you!" Sonic was up quick as lightning before Amy even had the thought to scoot over. The blue blur glanced over at Eggman. "Want some food too, Eggy?"
The man hesitated for a moment. "…I swear, hedgehog, if you poison-"
Sonic scoffed. "What do you take me for? I'm not Shadow." He felt the Ultimate Lifeform's glare on his back as he and Tails entered the kitchen.
The kit headed straight for the fridge and opened it. Tails sucked in a sharp breath when he noticed how empty the appliance looked.
"What's wrong little br…oh." Sonic peered over the fox's shoulder and saw their barren wasteland of a refrigerator. That wasn't good.
Tails reached in and pulled out the only item in sight: an egg carton. He opened it up to find one lonely egg he hadn't used before because it was cracked, leaky, and somewhat smelly. "Uh oh…" he breathed out. Wide sapphires met observant emeralds orbs. "Today was the day we were gonna stock up, Sonic!"
"No need to panic, Tails! We'll find somethin'!" Sonic went to the freezer and flung the door open. There was nothing but small ice crystals coating the sides. Smothering any panic, the hero then searched the cabinets lining the walls. "Anything!"
When Sonic banged around the place, the worst possible scenario troubled Tails' mind. He replaced the egg carton, swallowing thickly. They didn't have any food. He should've noticed before, but he had been distracted by everything and oh my gosh, we're going to starve!
As Sonic debated how they all were going to split up a half-empty jar of honey, shaky fingers gripped his arm. "S-Sonic! We're all going to go hungry, and there's no way out, and I don't want to eat you!"
The speedster slowly blinked down at the frenzied fox before putting the jar back on the shelf. He put his hands on the kit's shoulders. "Calm down, Tails! No one's gonna eat anybody, okay?"
"But-"
"We're only here for about nine hours, yeah?" Sonic inwardly cringed saying that number out loud. Sure, it was less than nine now, but still. "We'll get somethin' to eat when we're done with the show!"
Identical guttural rumbles pierced the air.
Tails' ears drooped. "This is going to be terrible…"
Tell me about it. Sonic bobbed his head toward the living room. "Now let's share the bad news, yeah?" Tails nodded before trailing after the hedgehog. Once they were back in the living room, Sonic clapped his hands together with a grin. All attention was on him. "Okay, so…we don't have any more food."
Knuckles sat up in his seat, unable to tell if this was a prank or not. "What? You're joking." The echidna's gaze switched to Tails, who didn't look too happy. "Tell me that this is a joke!"
"Unless you want a half-used jar of honey, then yeah…" the kit trailed off.
Sonic rubbed the back of his neck. "Heh, we were supposed to go grocery shoppin' today, but you know." He gestured to the general area. "So, we gotta go without food until the thing let's us-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence, for Eggman and Shadow pushed past him, a just as frantic Knuckles and Amy following them.
"Why is that consuming calories a necessity?" Metal asked from his spot on the floor. "It does nothing but waste time."
Tails looked oddly at him. He couldn't be too surprised though; Metal was a robot who probably didn't know any better. "Us eating food is like you needing to recharge."
"I have an infinite power supply, but I understand your attempt at an analogy. Do you organic beings power down if in need of nourishment?"
Before Tails could answer that, there was a crash in the kitchen. The kit whirled around and sprinted to the other room, not wanting the place trashed a second time. He didn't know if the thing would help again.
Sonic held up a finger at Metal, "Hold that thought," before running after the kit.
When the brothers met with the rest of the group, they saw Eggman, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow staring at the broken jar of honey on the floor.
The second they noticed Sonic and Tails, most of them pointed to Shadow. A deep glower set on the striped one's muzzle. "Rose bumped into me, so blame her."
"Don't blame me!" Amy jabbed a finger at him. "You should've had a better grip on it! It's not my fault you have butterfingers, mister!"
Shadow was about to snappily retort, but then a mop appeared in the pinkette's hands. Shadow snorted in satisfaction while she groaned.
Some tension rolled off of Tails' shoulders as she cleaned up the mess. "I'm just glad that it was only one thing!"
"Forget about that!" Eggman didn't like this situation. Not one bit. "Let's return to the important matter at hand! I refuse to go without-"
"Well, what do you expect us to do?" Sonic interrupted him, hand on his hip. "It's not about you Eggy. We're all outta luck! We just gotta-" The hero's words died out when he heard something in the adjacent room. It was a soft creak, and was that…wind?
Sonic's eyes widened before he zipped out of the kitchen.
The others shared a look before running after him only to almost crash into the speedster. Sonic was frozen, staring ahead. Many pairs of eyes followed his gaze, and they stiffened.
The front door was wide open. A gentle breeze made its way inside, promising freedom.
Tails didn't allow himself to get excited. "It…has to be a trap, right?"
In stark contrast, all of Sonic's nerves were wired and he was ready to go. His grin was massive. "Only one way to find out!" He rushed forward…
…only for the door to slam right in his face.
Sonic cried out and stumbled backwards when pain blossomed from his nose. He gingerly covered it, hissing under his breath and wondering if he had to sit through the rest of this with a stupid broken nose. He just had to jinx himself, didn't he?
"I would laugh, but we have another problem." Shadow's voice made him peer back over his shoulder. Shadow was looking where Metal was sitting, or rather, where the robot was supposed to be sitting. In the bot's place was an open collar.
Metal was gone.
This is the real reason Shadow's evil in Forces.
Reviews and constructive criticism are welcome!
PS- I know that a certain…detective made a grand appearance in the show recently, but I'm not gonna put him in yet. Season two's still a ways to go!