Sixty Five.
"I'm not a taxi service, Iruka!" says Minato, making angry Hokage noises.
Iruka hands Minato a stick of dango and says, "Thanks for the ride, bro."
Minato takes the dango and teleports back to the Leaf, grumbling.
Iruka looks around Mei's living room. No one is in sight. Hmm, maybe they are in a different room. They are expecting him, after all. Iruka heads to Mei's room and finds her standing beside baby Kohari's crib patting her tummy.
"Shh," Mei whispers. "Sleep. There's a good girl."
Iruka feels his insides turn to mush. "Aww…" he gushes.
"Iruka!" Mei turns to him, a grin on her face.
Both babies wake up and start howling.
"No! I just got them to sleep!" Mei wails in despair.
"Sorry!" Iruka apologises, embarrassed. He scoops up baby Ikakku and rocks him. "There, there. Shush, shush. It's nap time."
It takes them five minutes to quiet the twins and gets them to sleep. Then Mei and Iruka tip-toe out of the room.
"Finally," whispers Mei. "These two are just too much to handle with Namiko's craziness as well. I sent her to the Rain to train with Nagato for a while."
"I'll have to visit her on the way home," says Iruka. "I only have one week leave though."
"Take her back to the Leaf with you, she's dying to see her Leaf friends," says Mei. "Now, where were we before she interrupted last time you were here?"
"We may have to continue on the couch," says Iruka, grinning lecherously.
"Oh, you pervert!" giggles Mei, playfully slapping his shoulder.
Iruka stays with Mei and the twins for five days before he heads to the Hidden Rain to collect Namiko. When he arrives, he finds Nagato in the middle of trying to explain a fuuinjutsu concept to Namiko that Nagato himself does not seem to understand.
"Am I interrupting?" Iruka asks.
"DADDY!" Namiko leaps up from her chair and throws her arms around his neck.
"Hey Iruka," says Nagato. "Um...this is embarrassing...but, could you explain this to me? I don't understand it. Even food metaphors don't help."
"Alright," says Iruka, patting Namiko's hair. "Give me a few minutes to prepare."
A few minutes later, Iruka is drawing diagrams on a blackboard while Nagato sits on the carpet with his arms and legs crossed and Namiko sits beside him picking her nose. The pair of them look like preschoolers.
About ten minutes and a lesson on using a handkerchief later, Yahiko knocks on the door and enters without waiting for a response. Yahiko sees Nagato sitting on the floor with his arms and legs crossed, and an attentive expression on his face. He takes in the sight of Namiko, sitting beside Nagato with her legs splayed out, pretending to blow into the handkerchief Iruka gave her. He regards Iruka, explaining complicated fuuinjutsu.
Then he shuts the door, saying, "Nevermind."
"One moment," says Iruka, putting down his piece of chalk. "Behave yourselves while I am gone." Then Iruka leaves to go after Yahiko and find out what he wanted.
When Iruka returns, he finds Namiko drawing piles of poop on the blackboard, next to what can only be a pair of boobies. Nagato is rolling on the floor giggling.
"Detention," says Iruka, pointing to Namiko. "Detention," he says, pointing to Nagato. "And you two, detention." he finishes, pointing to Naruto and Jiraiya, who just arrived in the Hidden Rain, and are the reason that Yahiko interrupted the lesson.
"Naruto!" says Namiko, grinning widely.
"Jiraiya sensei!" says Nagato, grinning widely.
"But we only just got to this fuuinjutsu class!" whines Naruto. "Why are we getting detention too, 'tebayo?"
"You get detention for being late," says Iruka reasonably.
"I never thought I'd be given a detention by a brat who was in nappies when I was fighting in wars," grumbles Jiraiya.
"That's your problem," says Iruka. "Sit down at that table, everyone." Iruka points to the table Nagato and Naimo were sitting at when he arrived. "I want you all to write your lines 100 times. Nagato and Namiko are to write out 'I must not draw rude things on the blackboard', Naruto is to write out 'I must not be late to class' (a lesson he CLEARLY forgot after he left the Academy) and Jiraiya is to write out 'I must not trick Minato into Perving on Kushina's friends'."
"YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?" yells Jiraiya, his eyeballs popping out of his head in shock.
"Pervy Sage, Iruka-niichan knows everything," says Naruto. "He learned that skill from Grandma."
Ajisai is concerned. Her Papa is late. Karasu's Papa already came and got him. Karasu is Ajisa's friend. He went home. Now Ajisai is bored. Ajisai crawls around the baby pen. Then she stumbles across a toy. She picks up the toy and sits back to chew on it. Where is Papa?
"Aw, look at you, all alone in there," says Anko, lifting Ajisai out of the baby pen. "All your little friends went home, so how about you play with me until Uncle Madara gets here?"
Ajisai likes that idea. She does not understand why everyone calls Papa 'Uncle Madara'. Maybe that's his name. "Gaah!" Ajisai coos and smiles at Anko.
"Hmm?" a strange adult says. "Anko? I thought you were only ordered to work here for a month. Did you get into trouble again?"
"No," says Anko, glaring at the other adult. "I like working here." Anko turns back to Ajisai and smiles. "Who's a little cutie?" she says.
Ajisai coos. She grabs the beads on Joe's headscarf and rattles them. She likes wearing the headscarf around her tummy. Maybe Grandpa will come and get her today.
Anko sits down on the ground. She stands Ajisai up in front of her and holds her hands. Ajisai can almost stand on her own. She walks around holding on to the furniture at home. Ajisai bounces up and down giggling.
"Are you dancing?" asks Anko, laughing. Anko swings Ajisai's arms side-to-side.
"Gaah!" Ajisai says, meaning 'yes'. She bounces some more. Papa dances. Ajisai wants to dance. She has to stand on her own to dance properly.
Then the door to the daycare opens and Papa enters. "Gaah!" Ajisai says. She pulls her hands away from Anko. Then she walks towards Papa. She falls over after two steps. Ajisai gets back up. She stands by herself.
Anko claps her hands. "Yay, clever girl!"
Ajisai bounces up and down, grinning. Papa comes and picks her up. "Gaah!" she says. She claps her hands and tries to tell him she can stand now. "Gaah, gahh, goo!"
"Yes," says Papa. He taps her nose. "You're very clever."
Kurama and sidekicks peek over the edge of the cliff. "Alright," he whispers. "Approaching Mediocrity, you go around to the left. Almost Competent, you take the right side. I'll sneak in from the back."
"Which one of us is Approaching Mediocrity, and which one is Almost Competent?" asks Fukuro, with a sigh.
Kurama grins. He loves giving them stupid nicknames. "You are Almost Competent, he's Approaching Mediocrity."
"Right," says Kon, nodding and creeping around to the left.
Fukuro sneaks around to the right.
Grinning because neither of them realized he actually complimented their progress just now, Kurama drops down behind the target. The three of them creep closer to their target. Nearby, the target's bodyguards are working out tirelessly. The target himself is fast asleep. Kurama's sidekicks pull out permanent markers and start drawing on the sides of the target's face. Using the Uzumaki hair-colour changing seal, Kurama changes the target's hair colour to a horrendous combination of orange and pink stripes. Naturally, Kon has an orange marker and Fukuro has a pink marker.
Then the bodyguards see them.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO UTAKATA?" one yells.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" another yells.
The target, Utakata, wakes up and leaps away from them. "Back!" he says, pulling out his bubble-pipe-thing. "What are you doing to me, Kurama?" he demands. "How did you get into our hideout?"
"What, I'm not allowed to visit my favourite brother?" asks Kurama, faking hurt feelings. "We haven't seen each other in centuries, you know."
"What did you do to my hair?!" Utakata yells in horror as he sees his hair.
Kurama laughs. "Don't you know foxes are tricksters?"
"GET THEM!" yell Saiken's guards, charging at Kurama and his sidekicks.
"Run, sidekicks!" says Kurama, laughing as he flees.