Madara feels a thrill of excitement. This Itachi girl is strong enough to block his susanoo sword with a regular, un-enforced kunai? Finally, a decent fight! The Hokage has promise, but he's nowhere near as strong as he could be.
Itachi looks up, showing the glowing mangekyou sharingan under her long eyelashes. "Amaterasu," she says, and suddenly black flames engulf Madara's susanoo.
Madara ends his susanoo before it can burn away. Now on equal ground with Itachi, he looks her in the eyes. As he looks into Itachi's bleeding eye, he feels fear for the first time in longer than he can remember.
Itachi activates her susanoo ribcage, with just one arm, and hits Madara into a tree. A moment later, she is there, staring into his eyes.
Madara finds himself in a nightmarish hellscape, totally at Itachi's mercy. Madara breaks the jutsu, only to find his body engulfed in flames from a regular fireball.
Itachi kicks Madara in the ribs, breaking several, and no doubt hurting herself in the process. One of Madara's ribs punctures a lung, and he coughs up blood.
"Are you ready to listen to reason now, Madara?" asks Itachi, still calm, despite her obviously broken foot, her bleeding eyes and the burns on her clothes - which she got from her own fireball.
"What are you?" Madara chokes out.
"I am Itachi Uchiha," she says. "And my power comes from my desire to protect that which I care about. I know that once, a long time ago, you were the same."
She's right, Madara knows. "But I lost everyone I cared for," says Madara. "I had no one left to fight for, so I decided to bring about the Infinite Tsukuyomi and end all suffering and pain in this world. I should've known it was too good to be true. Nothing good ever happens without an accompanying catastrophe."
"That is the way of the world," says Itachi. "War makes strong men, strong men create peaceful times, peaceful times create weak men, and weak men start wars. It has always been this way, and always will be. Everything that is born must die, and everything that lives has its share of joy and suffering. To end this cycle would be to rob life of its meaning. You know that. Stop being so selfish."
"If you know that war and suffering are inevitable, why did you join Akatsuki?" demands Madara.
"The strong wish to create peace," says Itachi. "So their children do not need to fight. That is why you built the Leaf, and that is why I joined Akatsuki."
"Nieve…" mutters Madara, and passes out from his punctured lung.
Naruto peeks out of the cave to see if the fighting is over yet. It's gone awfully quiet. He sees The Hokage and Madara lying on the ground and Itachi kneeling between them, with blood running down her cheeks and her foot broken. A moment later, Kisame appears and scoops Itachi up.
"Over here!" Naruto calls, waving.
Kisame brings Itachi over. "Got a medic?" he asks.
"We have Madoka," says Naruto.
"Bring the other two over here," says Itachi.
"Yes Itachi," says Kisame. He puts Itachi down beside Naruto and walks back over to the battle ground to help Fugaku back to the cave and drag Madara along behind.
Madoka sets to work on Itachi's foot, and has it set right, splinted and bandaged before Kisame gets back with Madara and Fugaku.
"Take care of Madara first," says Itachi. "I broke his ribs and punctured a lung."
"Why?" whines Sekitei, crying into her cake.
"Because he wouldn't listen to reason, so I had to beat him up first," explains Itachi. "Men are like that sometimes."
Sasuke rolls her eyes. "Men," she mutters.
Ajisai toddles over to the unconscious Madara and pats his arm. "Papa?" she says. "Papa!" she pats his arm a little harder.
"No, Ajisai," says Kakashi, pulling the baby away. "He's not your Papa."
"He might as well be," mutters Sasuke, eyeing Kisame suspiciously.
Ajisai starts crying and tries to escape from Kakashi.
"No," says Kakashi firmly. "You must wait until Madoka is finished."
Ajisai screams louder.
"Oh shut up," snaps Sasuke.
Ajisai shuts up and glares at Sasuke.
Madoka finishes his first aid on Madara and moves on to the Hokage. "You only have scrapes and bruises, Lord Hokage," he points out. "If you don't mind, I'll just give you the bare minimum of medical ninjutsu treatment, and save my chakra for Madara."
"Do what you need to," says the Hokage. "Most of what ails me is chakra exhaustion. How does Madara have so much bloody chakra?"
"He does special exercises to expand it," mutters Sasuke, still eyeing Kisame. Naruto notices that Sasuke is inching closer to Itachi. "I'll show you."
Madoka puts ointment and bandages on Fugaku's injuries - most of which are only skin deep - and moves back to Madara.
"Hey, Mr. Hokage?" says Naruto.
"Yes, Naruto?" says the Hokage.
"I just had a great idea, dattebayo."
"This better not involve a prank."
"It doesn't," says Naruto, and whispers the idea in the Hokage's ear.
"Oh," says the Hoakge. "That's...probably the best idea you've ever had. Why didn't I think of that?"
"Because you're not me, 'tebayo," says Naruto.
"How do we know it will work?" asks Kakashi. "Whatever it is?"
"Sasuke will know," says Naruto. He looks around at everyone gathered. He doesn't want everyone to hear his idea, that's why he whispered it in the first place. Naruto thinks hard for a moment and then stops time. He has figured out how to stop time and then let someone into the jutsu, so he lets in Kakashi sensei, Sasuke and the Hokage. Then he lets in Itachi for good measure.
"Okay, now we can talk freely," says Naruto. And he tells them his idea.
"That is a good idea," says Sasuke. "But I doubt Madara would agree to it."
"He would be stupid to refuse," says Itachi. "He knows now that I can and will kill him if he tries anything. Some men cannot be reasoned with."
"We should, at the very least, give him the option," says Kakashi. "I can see why you did not want to talk about it in front of Joe's kids." He looks down at Ajisai, who is still frozen in his arms. "I feel bad for these kids - we probably shouldn't have placed them in the care of an enemy we knew we would need to fight in a year."
"Where were you when I was trying to convince Iruka and Minato it was a bad idea?" says Fugaku.
"Hanging out with Zombie Hokages, most likely," says Kakashi. "What will we do if Madara decides he wants to leave the village?"
"He might do that," says Sasuke. "He is curious about what the world is like now. I think being alone for a while would do him good." She blushes a little in shyness as she sees everyone looking at her. "I know if I had all my plans turned upside down, I'd want to be alone for a while to get my head back in order."
"Hmm," Fugaku strokes his mustache thoughtfully. "We will need to talk to him without Joe's kids listening in. They don't know the full story, and Madara doesn't want them to know. I feel we should respect that wish."
"Write it down," suggests Sasuke. "Then, ask Madara if he still needs time to figure it out…" she trails off, embarrassed by everyone's attention.
Naruto grins. It seems Sasuke is still shy after all. "You better hurry up and decide what you're going to do, Mr. Hokage," says Naruto. "The jutsu won't last much longer."
"I hope this doesn't come back to bite me," says Fugaku, and writes Naruto's idea on a scroll for Madara to read.
They all exchange looks and nod to each other, and then Naruto ends the jutsu.
"Waah!" Tachibana yells, pointing at Sasuke, who used her time in the Time Stop Seal to hide behind Itachi. "Since when could you teleport?!"
Sekitei grins, and in a completely deadpan voice says, "Sasuke didn't teleport, she's been there for about three minutes."
"But...but she was over by Kakashi a second ago!" protests Tachibana.
"I know," says Sekitei, who is desperately holding back her laughter. "But that was a few minutes ago."
"Sekitei, stop teasing your brother," says Madara, waking up just in time to be a parent.
"Yes Uncle Madara," sighs Sekitei. "Naruto can stop time for three minutes, Tachi. They must've had a meeting inside the Time Stop Seal."
"That meeting was about me, wasn't it, Hokage?" says Madara.
"Yes," says Fugaku. "We didn't want to talk in front of these kids."
"Why not?" asks Sazanka. "Is it because of the apocalypse thing?"
"Yes," says Fugaku. "We will not say anything unless Madara agrees you should know."
"You keep saying that word, but I don't know what that word means," says Yatsude. "What's a...apple-litz?...apoc-lips?"
"It's…" Madara pauses and then says, "It's a petting zoo for the rabbit goddess."
"That's an interesting way of putting it," says Fugaku, raising a mustache. "But let's go with that theme. Have you decided whether or not to start up the 'petting zoo project'?"
"..." Madara doesn't answer for what seems like an eternity. Finally he says, "The...Petting Zoo...is more dangerous than I expected. It's not what I actually wanted. The Rabbit Godess's son didn't tell me everything, but I think I could prevent the worst - but that would make me worse than the worst."
"I don't get it," says Sekitei.
Ajisai frees herself from Kakashi and toddles over to Madara. "Papa," she says, contently, curls up on his hair, sticks her thumb in her mouth and goes to sleep.
"I can't do the petting zoo thing," says Madara, looking at Ajisai. "But…"
"If you need more time, then take it," says Fugaku. "If you need space to think, then go and see the world as it is now. Take as much time as you need. A day, a week, a month, a year - it's up to you. So long as you don't start the Rabbit Godess's Petting Zoo, I don't give a crap what you do." He hands Madara the scroll he wrote Naruto's idea on. "Read this and think about it while you are gone, and let me know your answer when you get back."
Madra tucks the scroll into his jacket without reading it. "What about them?" he asks, gesturing to Joe's kids.
"I will make sure they are looked after," says Fugaku.
"Don't let Okami force Sazanka into being a shinobi," says Madara. "I don't expect I will be gone for much more than a month or so, but if I am gone for a long time, I don't want to get back to find that Okami has gone and forced the kid to be something he doesn't want to be."
"Don't worry," says Fugaku. "They are wards of the Leaf, and I, as Hokage, have the final say in what happens to these brats."
"Good," says Madara. "Then keep Tachibana training with the Inuzuka clan, make sure the Prankster gang doesn't drag Sekitei into anything dangerous, I want Kushina training Yatsude to use his chakra trains (so don't let Okami try it), and be careful of Ajisai's belt, it's actually Joe's head scarf."
"You're not going to leave now are you, Uncle Madara?" demands Sekitei, tears filling her eyes. "You're hurt, and it's Ajisai's birthday, and-"
"And if I set foot in the Leaf again today, they will not let me leave, no matter what the Hokage says," says Madara. "I'll be back, I promise."
"Pinky promise?" says Sekitei, holding out her pinky.
"Yes," says Madara, gravely linking his pinky with hers. "I pinky promise I'll come back."
The twins stick their pinkies in, and Tachibana joins them, but it takes him a couple of tries to get his pinky in the right place.
"Woof!" says Lucy, and wags her tail.
"Ah, there are ANBU on the way here," says Madara. He gets up, sending Madoka tumbling back onto his backside.
"Hey, I'm not finished with you yet!" Madoka protests.
"There are ANBU coming, I need to bounce," says Madara.
"Oh, wait!" says Sekitei, and runs to the picnic basket. She takes out a bundle of food wrapped in the picnic blanket, and gives it to him. "We saved you some."
For a moment, Madara looks extremely tempted to stay. But, he takes the bundle and pats Sekitei's hair. Then he scoops up Ajisai and hands her to Yatsude. "Look after each other while I'm gone," he says. And then, he vanishes.