The drops of water and the sharp cold wind were beating them. Every few moments, a lightning flashed close to them. They were miserable. Just a day ago, they were running from goblins and orcs, then some giant eagles left them at the top of Carrock and now, now there was a thunderstorm.
Nobody in the company was feeling good, nobody talked, there were no songs, no stories said that night. Everybody was in a bad mood, but Bilbo was the worst of them all.
He hated thunderstorms. He was afraid of them. Terrified. Every single time a lightning appeared, he flinched.
He was scared of them ever since he was a mere faunt, ever since his best friend was struck by a lightning right in front of his eyes.
And with every thunderstorm, Bilbo was reminded of that. He felt the burn in his eyes and refused to cry.
'We will stop soon, only few more steps. Only few more, just keep walking. You just gained Thorin's respect, you can't afford to lose it simply because you are afraid. Keep your head down, nobody will notice.'
'What will they think of you? Afraid of storms, who is afraid of storms? Nobody. Only you, Bilbo. What will they think? They'll think you're weak, again. You won't handle being treated as outsider again'
'No, you can't let them know. You can't.'
Those were Bilbo's thoughts. Despite what Thorin told him, despite the fact that he apologized to him, he was still not entirely sure what they actually thought of him.
He decided that the best thing to distract him from the relentless thunderstorm was thinking. And so he thought.
He thought about all he gained and lost along with his decision to go on this quest. He will never be viewed as respectable again. No hobbit will ever look at him the same way as before. Probably not even Drogo and the Gamgees.
The journey was a lot more dangerous and tiring than he expected. He thought the most dangerous thing to happen will be stealing from a dragon- he certainly didn't expect running all the time, trolls, wargs, orcs, traps in the floor and having to play riddles with a twisted dark creature deep under the Goblin town.
Another ligthning and he flinched again.
This was beginning to be much worse with every minute passed. He started thinking about the positive things, the things he gained.
The friendships he'll probably have at the end of this quest. The experiences he'll have. How he had done things other hobbits can't even imagine. How he never thought he'll survive so far from home. And yet here he is.
And he thought about a certain dwarf. He never before felt this type of feelings towards anyone. Sure, he was no stranger to flirting and the occasional kisses with hobbit lads or lasses, but this was new.
And strange, very strange.
He was attracted to him, he knew he loved him, knew that this was the One. But he was terrified of rejection. After all, he had nothing to offer to somebody so much stronger and braver than him.
So he never told anyone, never reached for him.
The rare evenings when he sat next to him were his favorite. He felt safe next to the dwarf, almost as if he'd been at home when he sat by his side.
Oh, how he wanted to just curl to his side right now. He knew he would handle the storm much better if he was close to him.
Another lightning and he clenched his fists tight, closed his eyes and again, refused to let his tears fall. 'Crying like a mere faunt, weeping from fear. I'm so weak'
Bilbo forced his feet to walk and desperately ignored the feeling of somebody watching him.
Dwalin was at the very back of the company, making sure nobody fell behind. He couldn't tear his eyes from the halfling. The small, fragile man who just happened to save his king.
At the beginning of the quest, he was almost disgusted that his One is such a weak person. Bilbo was oposite to everything he imagined his One would be like. For example somebody strong, skilled in fight. The hobbit was neither.
Dwarves recognise their One the moment they see them. And so Dwalin was very surprised when he saw a lover in a hobbit.
He didn't want anybody to know (of course his way too observative brother knew and smirked at him all the time but he didn't want others to know) so he never went too close to the halfling, never talked to him, never gave an indication of his true feelings.
He was almost ashamed the hobbit was his One, and only changed his opinion after the incident with trolls. Not much, but now he saw halfling's quick and sharp wit. Maybe he wasn't strong or brave, but at least he was smart.
And with this discovery, Dwalin began trying to get to know him a bit better.
He sat closer to him and even tried to talk to him. Dwalin thought he was actually doing good when he noticed how Bilbo pressed close to his side every time Dwalin was near him.
And that's when he discovered the hobbit was scared of him.
The fear in his eyes everytime they were talking was unmistakable. Though he didn't know why. He did not insult him (well, at least tried nit to), he was as gentle as possible when talking to him and made sure the hobbit isn't uncomfortable. 'I constantly avoided him in the beginning and now he must think I don't like him, great' Dwalin mentally kicked himself.
But even though Bilbo was scared of him, it still seemed as if he was comfortable at his side. And that confused him to no end.
When he heard Bilbo was about to leave them and go back to Rivendell, he couldn't stop the few tears from falling.
Now, he was looking at Bilbo in a different way. Now, he knew the halfling was brave, if untrained, but brave and strong. The hobbit managed to get out of the caves on his own, returned to them, wanted to help them even though they treated him poorly. And he risked his own life in order to save his leader.
No, he wasn't weak, and certainly not a coward.
Dwalin noticed how afraid Bilbo looked right now. And after a while, he noticed a pattern: the hobbit flinched with every lightning. And Dwalin hated it.
Hated how terrified he seemed, how he looked to the ground, clenched his fists and shivered with cold. The dwarf wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around the small form of his One and protect him from the everything bad.
But he didn't want to reveal his feelings just yet so he grit his teeth and forced himself to just walk behind.
With each Bilbo's flinch, Dwalin was getting more and more impatient for Thorin's announcement that they are about to stop and settle for the night. Just as he was about to shout at Thorin to stop, a "we're stopping here!" rang through the air and Dwalin sighed in relief.
While Bilbo was preparing to sleep, laying down the few sheets he still had after the Goblin Town, he avoided looking at anyone, fearing they would see he's scared.
The storm was now even more intense, and Bilbo was closer and closer to his breaking point.
He laid down on the ground, pulled a sheet over himself and tried to sleep, which was difficult, not only because of the storm but he was also shivering from cold since no-one made any fire.
Eventually, he drifted off to sleep, having been so tired.
Bilbo and Dwalin were talking and laughing in the middle of a beautiful land. It was perfect, and they went for a walk alongside a river. A very familiar river. Bilbo looked at his feet and noticed they were smaller then they should be. He looked up at Dwalin and startled when he saw his old best friend instead of the dwarf. Out of nowhere, dark clouds covered the sky, it started raining heavily and a thunder echoed from behind them. They started running. The sound of thunder grew closer and closer with each second.
They were running as fast as they could but they weren't moving at all. The storm was more and more intense, lightning flashed everywhere around them. Suddenly as if time slowed down and Bilbo could see the lightning slowly descending upon his friend and then everything began moving too fast and the lightning struck right into the lad-
Bilbo wake up with a shout, tears in his eyes, gasping. Then he heard a thunder and saw white light and panicked even more, scrambling to press his back into the wall.
He was vaguely aware of the panicked voices around him and somewhere in the very back of his mind, he knew he failed to keep his fear from showing but right now he just didn't care. His body shook with sobs and he pulled his knees to his chest, curling into a ball.
The dwarves were in various stages of falling asleep, some wide awake, some drifting in and out of sleep and some of them already snoring loudly.
Dwalin was keeping the watch and was looking at the hobbit. He saw the way Bilbo shivered, how he curled up into a ball and told himself that he'll go to him as soon as the others were asleep.
Half an hour later and still some were not sleeping. He was just considering swallowing his pride and going to Bilbo even with others watching him, when said hobbit's body began thrashing in his sleep as if running or fighting.
He started crying in his sleep and his breathing became rapid.
Almost the entire company was awake (and those who were not will be soon), looking for their weapons and then worry on their faces as they saw what woke them up.
Every square inch of Dwalin's body was screaming at him to go comfort his One and he did. He knew there will be teasing in the morning but he didn't care. He swiftly came over to Bilbo's side but before he could even touch him, the hobbit shot up, wide awake. He saw the terrified eyes and his heart clenched as the burglar pressed his back against the back of the cave, drawing his knees up to his small chest.
Dwalin carefully sat right in front of Bilbo, let his hand cup the hobbit's chin and wiped his tears with his thumb.
He noticed how Bilbo leaned in his hand. He angled himself so that he was hugging the smaller being. Bilbo snuggled closer, seeking comfort and warmth and Dwalin collected him against his chest, holding him tight.
Now he knew that having such a small soulmate was great. He fit perfectly into his arms. His head was in the crook of the dwarf's neck and his hands tucked inside Dwalin's furs, desperately holding onto him.
The hobbit was so securely tucked in the dwarf's arms that the upper part of his body was almost completely hidden from others' sight.
The company smiled at the sweet scene and went back to sleep, and Balin clasped his brother's shoulder in congratulations.
The longer Bilbo was in his arms, the calmer he became, though he still shook with quiet sobs. Dwalin hugged him tighter, rubbed his back and sides soothingly and whispered words of comfort into the curls beneath his chin.
It took maybe another half an hour until his body went still, breathing even. Dwalin wanted this to last forever, and he tried his best to memorize the feeling of Bilbo's body pressed so tightly against his own. Who knew the burglar was so cuddly? He always imagined a life with a warrior, so now he imagined what a life with such a peaceful creature would be like.
Coming home and being welcomed by a hug, leaning against each other or a smaller body pressed into him during the cold nights. How his curls would shine bright in the sunset and how his beautiful his skin would look in the firelight. The warm presence of a smaller body against his for the rest of his life. How lovely that would be...
Yes, perhaps having a hobbit on his own, completely his own is not bad after all. And perhaps it is much better than his best dreams.
The smaller creature sighed in his sleep and unconsciously rubbed his head against his neck and shoulder.
Dwalin curled his body against Bilbo's, relaxed for the first time in decades.
He closed his eyes and for the first time in his life, he felt complete peace.